Chapter 6

BEA

I was shocked to hear that my father thought Law wasn’t good enough for me, but more so to realize my mother thought I should end up with Ky all this time. She had never said a word to me. It amazed me that my parents put up the money for this whole ceremony when both of them apparently thought it was a mistake.

“Mom,” I whispered as I turned fully to face her. “I’m so sorry.”

“For what, sweetie?”

“All the money you guys spent. The wedding. The reception that we’re not even attending right now. Oh, God. I feel awful.”

“Stop that right now,” she insisted. “My darling daughter, if we spent all this money today just so you could finally realize you were with the wrong man all along, then it was worth every darn penny.”

My mom offered up one of her quick hugs, placed a kiss on my cheek, and then said her farewells to me. “Speaking of the reception, I need to head over there and make sure everything is going smoothly for the guests who showed up.”

“What do you mean by ‘for the guests who showed up’?|

Mom chuckled. “Well, I doubt Law’s family felt inclined to celebrate your eventual nuptials to a man who wasn’t their kin.” Mom turned and walked out the door then, though I could have sworn I heard her mumble, “Serves them right for being assholes.”

Despite my mother’s departure, I wasn’t left alone. My little sister, Mina, had quietly slipped into the room just prior to our mom taking off. I imagined Mom just wanted to give us some space so we could have sisterly bonding time over my epic day.

Mina made it pretty clear right away that she had not overheard anyone else’s conversations. “I love Ky, you know that.” It was the first thing she said to me before she decided to let me know that she thought I was the bad guy in this situation. “How could you do that to Law? Was it just because he was a little late to the wedding? You decided, if he couldn’t be there on time, then to hell with him, you’ll marry someone else?”

I was taken aback by my sister’s tirade, especially since she didn’t have a clue what she was talking about. It did make me wonder what everyone who attended the ceremony thought, though. I supposed not everyone heard what I had to say to Law when he walked up to us at the altar after I exchanged vows with Kylan instead. Maybe they all thought Ky and I were the worst sort of humans.

“You don’t understand, Mina.”

“I understand that you betrayed the man you pledged to marry and made him look like a complete fool in front of absolutely everyone.”

I wanted to throttle my sister. She was always so black and white in the way she thought things through. I loved her dearly, but once she set her mind to something, there was rarely any changing it. Still, there was no way I would take the brunt of her wrath for something that should be focused on my ex-fiancé.

“No! You don’t understand.” I raised my voice at my sister before I ripped the letter Law had written me back out of my bodice again. I really wished the dress had pockets because I hated keeping the damn thing so close to my heart, but there was nowhere else to tuck it away. I had still been holding my bridal bouquet and a few of the rose petals dislodged and fell away in my haste. I handed the folded page to Mina and watched as she read the reminder I had of Law’s fickle love. It was a good reminder too, one that made me steadfast in the decision I’d make with Ky today.

“He sent this to you? Today?” When I nodded, full understanding dawned in my sister’s eyes. “That’s why he was late? He went to this other woman?”

My sister dropped to her butt, and sat on the floor – not even the raised section that made more sense as a seat. Her beautiful dress would most likely be ruined by the end of the day.

“Yet another reason to never trust love – it lies,” she mumbled, obviously fighting her own internal battles that I sadly knew nothing about.

“Mina, no. It doesn’t lie. Not when it’s right and real. Look at Mom and Dad or Grandma Grace and Poppy Thomas. They all have incredible love stories.” It was almost ironic that the jilted bride was the one standing there trying to convince her sister that love was real, and yet there I was doing just that.

“Maybe, but I don’t think it exists anymore. I swear to you, Bea, if I ever marry, it won’t ever be for love.”

“Don’t say that.” I insisted.

“Why not? Look at you! Married out of heartbreak, not love.”

“That’s not true either. I love Kylan.” It was only as I said it to my sister that I was able to acknowledge the truth. I did love Ky. I’d been in a position to love two men at once, but the stronger of those loves had always been the one I had for my best friend. When Mina looked as though she didn’t believe me, I decided to tell her a secret.

“Law once asked me to give up Ky because he thought Ky was in love with me,” I admitted.

“He did? But you didn’t agree to that, obviously.”

I shook my head. “No, I could never. I told Law that he didn’t want to force me to choose between them because it would never turn out in his favor.”

“What if you gave up your true love for your best friend?”

“Do you think my true love would leave me a note like that,” I pointed to the paper still held in her hand, “on our wedding day?” She didn’t answer, just handed the damned thing back to me. “Besides, I thought you didn’t believe in true love,” I teased.

“I thought you loved Law,” she hit back.

“I did, Mina. I love Ky more though. I could never imagine my life without him.”

“Then maybe you did the right thing.” Mina sat thoughtfully as she spoke. “Have you and Ky ever…”

I shook my head in response, knowing where she was going with the question before she even finished.

“Won’t that be weird then?”

“What?”

“Sex with the boy who has been your best friend since before you knew you liked boys in that way. It’s your wedding day, Bea. You’re supposed to have sex with him to seal the deal.”

It was my turn to plop my butt on the floor beside my sister. Why hadn’t I thought of that? The bag I had packed for my honeymoon with Law was filled with all sorts of lingerie to tempt him with. A warm blush stole across my cheeks as I thought of wearing any of it for Ky to see.

“What if you’re no good together in bed?” Mina asked, and I swear if she wasn’t my sister, I would beat the crap out of her for making me think of these things, and for making me doubt myself and Ky. She must have noticed my panicked expression and her reaction to that was to laugh. “Good to know you really thought all this through, Bea.”

“I haven’t fantasized like that about Ky in years,” I told her honestly, ignoring the jab about thinking things through, because it was already obvious that I’d walked down that aisle on a spur of the moment decision and nothing more than faith in my best friend to make everything right.

“You used to?”

“Of course, have you seen him?” We both giggled over my admission. “I used to imagine us together all the time in high school. I wanted him to be my first,” I told her.

“Then why wasn’t he?”

“I tried to tell him once, but just as I was going to admit my feelings to him, I walked in on him having sex with Olivia Dennings instead.”

“Oh Bea!” My sister cooed as she wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Did he at least feel bad about it?”

I shook my head once more and stared at my hands that were folded up in my lap. The glint of light on my ring felt like a lie as I spoke about the past. “He never knew I was there.”

“Wait, was that your junior year?”

“How did you know?”

My sister squeezed my shoulders again. “Because now I understand why you turned him down for prom and then pretended to be sick so you wouldn’t have to watch as he danced with Olivia.”

My sister was right. That’s exactly what happened. When Ky asked me, two days after I’d seen him naked and inside of Olivia, I informed him that I already had a date to prom. It was a lie, of course, but one he didn’t even question. Instead, he got angry with me and demanded to know who was taking me. I refused to tell him. Then he turned around and asked Olivia to go with him to prom, and he did it right in front of me. That was the day I truly knew we could never be more than friends because it would ruin everything. I knew it to be true because a piece of my heart took a beating that year, and for a while, I wasn’t sure our friendship would survive it. Seeing him after everything that happened already hurt beyond measure.

“He had so many girlfriends and hookups after that,” my sister mumbled, as if she had read where my thoughts were headed.

“And each one broke my heart further until we went to college, and I met Jacob Stanley.” We dated for three years, until he graduated the year before me and moved back home to California. I didn’t want to move so far away from my family, and certainly didn’t want to have to transfer schools in my final year, so we broke up and went our separate ways.

“So, Jacob was your first then?”

“Yes, and then I didn’t date anyone else until Law came around.”

“Wait! So, you’ve only been with two men?”

“Yes,” I admitted. “I never wanted to be like the girls Ky used and discarded so frequently. I couldn’t. Sex means something to me.”

“Wow!” I didn’t know why my sister was so surprised. I was no prude but knew enough that sex and emotion were inseparable for me.

A man’s laughter caught our attention, and we turned to see Law standing there laughing as Kylan’s face drained of color. Law slapped Ky on the back. “Looks like I have your dirty dick to thank for the two and a half years I’ve had with Bea. Thanks, man. Maybe now that she remembers why she was never with you, she’ll realize exactly what I did, after her family threw me out earlier. You two aren’t legally married. You can’t be because you never filed the paperwork.”

Ky didn’t even object or say anything else to anyone. He simply turned and left.

I watched as Law’s smug face turned to watch him go before moving back in my direction. “I forgive you for walking down the aisle to him and for pretending to marry him to prove your point to me. I get it. I fucked up. Come on, Bea. We can move on from this now.”

“For how long exactly?” I asked as my voice wobbled on the emotion building under the surface.

“We were going to pledge ourselves to one another until death do us part, remember?”

“Yes, we were going to do that, but then you left me a note about another woman who caught your eye. So, how long until the next one? How long until one of them agrees to be with you and I receive another cowardly note?”

“Bea! Please, it was just cold feet.”

“Did you, or did you not, leave me a note on the day of our wedding and run off to see another woman?”

“Bea!” He pleaded.

“Did you go see another woman on our wedding day?” I yelled the question at him that time. He nodded his head in lieu of a verbal answer. “Right,” I agreed. “We are done, Law. I can never trust you again after that. I understand having doubts and cold feet, but you never talked to me about it. Sure, you may not have cheated on me, but you left me on our wedding day with a note and went to see if this other woman returned your interest. That’s just as bad. I had no idea. I was blindsided on my wedding day. Those doubts didn’t just happen today. We could have worked through it, postponed or canceled the wedding if need be, if only you’d said something sooner. Instead, you humiliated me, you broke my trust in you, and that isn’t something I can just move past.” I took the time to stand then, so I would be on my feet when I finished. “My family will be by soon to collect my things from your condo.”

“I know that I screwed up, Bea, but are we really throwing two and a half years together away because I got spooked?”

“No, you threw it all away when another woman turned your head, you refused to ignore it, and then left me a note on our wedding day,” I reiterated to him. “Why are you not getting this?” I huffed in frustration. “I can’t trust you anymore. There is no relationship without trust.”

“Law, I think it would be best for everyone involved if you all had some breathing room and time to think things through. This all just happened today. It’s still fresh and still hurts,” my sister counseled him, showing wisdom beyond her experience.

Law stood there, eyes moving back and forth between my sister and me. “Fine,” he grumbled. “Don’t send anyone for your things yet. Promise me that you’ll think about it for a while first.” I nodded in agreement. “And Bea, I can forgive your wedding tantrum with Ky because of what I did to initiate it, but if you make it official, that really will be the end of us.” After that pompous-ass proclamation he left.

“The nerve of him,” my sister growled. “He went off to be with someone else today and only came back because she obviously turned him down. Then he tells you not to move on or else you’re finished?” She made an odd noise before adding, “I wish I was British.”

“What?” I asked, wondering if my sister had just lost all her senses. “Why?”

“Then I could call him a bloody wanker without sounding like a poser. It needs to be authentic, Bea!” For the first time that day, I laughed so hard I thought I might pee in my panties. My sister’s ridiculousness was just what I needed to hear at that moment. She must have known it because she grinned widely as she got to her feet and threw her arms around me.

“I love you. You’re the best big sister in the world, and I think you’ll be much happier now that you are no longer with him.” It was a change from the way she defended him earlier, but I’d take it. At least my sister was capable of admitting when she’d been wrong.

“Because he’s a bloody wanker?”

She winked at me and grinned. “Now, who’s the poser?”