CHAPTER TWENTY - SEVEN

SHAW

Just for a moment, we weren't here, and that asshole wasn't coming to get her. I look back at Miri and nod, watching her roll out of the bed to start getting dressed. I'm not in the same amount of hurry as she is and fall back on the sheets to stare. She glances at me on and off, a subtle smile my way. Guess it's the last time I'll see one of those from her, because after this, it's all business again, and she'll be heading home.

"I meant what I said," she says, zipping up her jeans. "You could come with us and-" I roll away from her, shoving my legs into my own pants. "Not to be with me. Just so that you could be away from them and…" And what? I stall halfway through shoving my feet into my boots. I don't know anything but my family and this life I've been in. I still don't even know what I'm gonna say to them, let alone what I want from the conversation if it happens. "Shaw?"

Standing, I finish dressing and walk to her. My hands take her cheeks in my fingers, and I dip to look at eyes that have become too familiar to me. "I can't, Miri. I don't know what this has been, or is, but this right now is how it needs to be. You get to go home and be safe, and I get to deal with me, here." She nods gently, like she isn't one bit happy about that. Surprising, considering how much she should hate me. "You just keep remembering me as the guy that took you. Not the one that helped, yeah? Keep your wits about you from now on. Fight hard again if you ever have to, and, for the love of God, don't fall for guys like me." I land some soft lips on her forehead, then let go and leave to deal with Logan.

The stairs seem too fucking short down to him, and I feel like more needs to be said, or at least thought about, but I don't have the time for any more discussion on the topic. I want them gone and on a plane and preferably under Cane protection until then. One wrong move, or one second more time than necessary, and any one of my family might be waiting to strike and bring them back where they think they should be.

Dark eyes glare straight at me the second I turn through the doorway into the main room. He's by the door, blocking it. Right about now, he looks a damn sight more threatening than Abel ever has. I stall half a step, then straighten my collar and carry on moving until I'm closer to Samuel than I know he'll want me to be.

There aren't any words for a few minutes as Miri walks into the room. He just stares, presumably seething with rage about me. I get it. Really, I do. I'd be just as pissed as him if something like this was happening to me and the roles were reversed. I still meant what I said, though, and for her, and maybe me, I'll blow this little affair wide open if I have to.

He eventually looks between Miri and Naja, who's already sitting in one of the chairs."I don't know what the hell is going on here, but this was dumb, Shaw. You get your dick in a knot about one of them?"

A snort drops out of me. I mean, fuck it. Some part of that's true enough. "Something like that."

"And you thought needling me about my priest was a good move?"

"You're my route home for them. I'll use anything-"

"You should think hard about what state Knox was in after he tried fucking around with me."

"Have done. Don't care. You gonna help them, or shall I just-"

He steps forward. "You little shit. You're asking me to go against Abel when I've only just made something fucking useful happen. He's already asked me if I've seen you."

"The hell is he talking to you about me for?"

"This crap. I should hand your disloyal ass back over to him in a body bag. He'd damn well thank me for it." I scowl at the thought, but at the moment, he's probably right. "And all that for a goddamn fuck?"

"Logan," Samuel says, moving in front of me. "Outside."

I push him out of the way and get around him to face off. Maybe I am younger, but I'm the same damn size as him and fast enough if he wants to try hurting me. "Yeah, I'm all kinds of cunt, I get it, but here's the thing: I just pissed all over my family for this girl. Don't think I won't go straight through you as well. I want her home, safe, Logan, and you're gonna make sure that happens." He looks from me to Samuel, like he's weighing up all the options, and eventually takes a long, hard look at Miri. I move straight across the room to stand in front of her without any thought. "That isn't yours to screw around with, Logan. You wanna try civil instead? Or shall we get real fucking nasty?"

He tilts his head, blatantly ignoring my frame, so he can stare at Miri some more. "That's two men fighting for your life, Miri. You tell me why I should give a fuck." She tries moving to get around me, but I move to block her where she is.

"No," I mutter. "You wanna talk, you talk to me, Logan. She's not available for conversation with you."

Time stalls in the room. It's just me and him in reality. Maybe Samuel's got some authority, I don't know, but what I do know, without a shadow of a doubt, is he'll be carrying a weapon and won't give one damn about using it if he feels inclined to.

It's Samuel who eventually breaks the stare off. He cuts in between us and lands a hand on Logan's chest, pushing him backwards until he opens the door, and they walk outside.

A breath shunts out of me the second it closes, and I look back at Miri.

"That's the guy that's going to help us?" she asks.

I nod. "With any luck."

"What did he mean by two men fighting for me?"

"Don't know." But there"s no way the other guy is any of my family.

"He doesn't look very helpful."

"He helped us," Naja says quietly. We both look at her. "He got us a place in Smithtown Bay when Landon asked for help. I've never met him before. Jackson dealt with him."

"That's where you've been?" Miri asks. "Where's Smithtown Bay?"

"On the coast," I reply, looking back at the door. "You know why he helped this Landon in the first place?"

"No, not really. I think Landon was his lawyer for a while. He was Jackson's, so maybe he had something on him."

"Yeah. He'll have a whole load of intel that's useable." I smirk and fold my arms, knowing damn well that all this swings in my favour whether Logan likes it or not. An affair out there in the public, and the possibility of this Landon guy being pissed as hell? He's not messing around with that. "Don't worry, you'll be going home soon enough."

Sure as fuck, the door opens around ten minutes later, and a slightly less pissed-looking Logan walks in. "Get whatever you've got together. Landon should be at JFK tomorrow. You two will come with me until then, and I'll get the passports dealt with."

He's walking for the door again before any of us say a word.

I frown and look at Miri as Naja starts collecting their things. I should be pleased as hell with that outcome. It's simple and efficient and doesn't end with my death. Easy. He's coming to get them, and Logan will protect them until that point. After that, they're home and dry. Yeah, sounds perfect.

Shame of it is it rips the time we had right out of my hands.

"That's it, then?" Miri says. "Just a while with Logan? Where will he take us?"

"I don't know, but you'll be safe." I think.

She smiles and looks at Naja as she walks past us. "And where will you go?" I shrug, unsure for now. Home is where I should go. I don't know if I'm ready for that yet.

"Miri? Come on," Naja says from the doorway.

"Okay. Just give me a minute." Naja looks at me, still annoyed about my whole fucking being. "Naja. Please."

"Fine." Doesn't stop her slamming the heavy, old door, though.

Quiet.

She sighs and looks around the room, smiling about something. "It's cute here, don't you think?" I frown again. Hadn't thought about it a whole lot, if I'm honest.

"I doubt what goes on in here is that cute."

"I don't know. They must love each other if he's doing all this to protect Samuel. Maybe he's not as heartless as you seem to think he is."

"Maybe." I'm not feeling it, though. Definitely not until I know she's in this Landon's hands and on the plane back home.

I open the door to lead her out. No point dragging it on any longer than it needs to be. Nothing's changing, and that's exactly the way it needs to be.

"Wait, Shaw." My brow cocks, and I look back at her. "Thank you. You didn't have to do any of this, and you did. I know how much it's cost you." She walks a little closer and smiles, then fidgets her hands. "I don't know what else to say. Just … thank you."

"Yeah, well, you deserved a better life than we were offering." I smirk and stare down at lips that are damn near begging me to kiss them goodbye. "You can go find yourself a real one now." She stares at me as I back away a few steps. "Make it good, yeah? Live it."

We walk out and along the paths back past the church. Logan's already in his car with Naja beside him and Samuel standing by the window. Nothing else is said. I just watch Miri walk over there and get on in, constantly checking back in with me before she disappears into the blacked-out interior.

The door slams, and I stand with Samuel as they reverse out of the parking lot and drive up to the road. Gone.

The longest fucking sigh rattles through me, and I turn to nod at Samuel before making my way to my own car. Done. There's nothing else to say now, is there? Everyone's happy and getting what they want. I nod to myself some more as I slide into the seat, close my own door, and start the engine.

Nothing stops my stare tracking out the way they went, though. I'm fixed on it, like it's a trail I should be following. I don't think it's distrust of Logan. It's more like a base feeling in the pit of my stomach, a yearning that's somehow telling me I'm dumb to have let her go. Maybe that's just the Cortez in me, though. She was our property after all.

Samuel's beside me before I manage to pull out of my parking bay. He waits while I roll the window down. "They're staying at my house until Landon gets here and the flight's ready."

"Yours? This is yours."

"Here." He hands over a piece of paper with an elegantly scrawled address on it. "This is my place. Your family don't know where it is."

"It"s in Smithtown Bay?"

"Yes. I thought, perhaps, you might have other things you wanted to say before she left."

"And you're telling a Cortez where your home is now? You're more intelligent than that."

"Perhaps, but what does it matter anymore?" He smiles and looks back at his church. "Love's the thing that matters. I'm ready for it to matter more. You've just taught me that." I don't know what the hell he's talking about, but I stare at the address some more as he starts walking away. "Good luck, Shaw Cortez. Keep looking after that conscience of yours. It will guide you well."

Pulling up the driveway slowly, I look behind me in the rearview and watch him disappear into the grounds. Love? I'm not in love with her. I don't have anything else to say either. What would there be to say? We're worlds apart. I just caught a conscience at the right time is all.

Still, that doesn't stop me from looking the way they went as I pull up to the road. I've turned that way without too much thinking, and before I know it, I'm tracking the roads to follow the coast for Smithtown Bay. It isn't to say anything. I don't need to say a damn thing, but for whatever reason, and probably because of who I am and who Logan is, I want to see her get to Landon. It isn't finished until then, and I can't deny that or let it go. Call it an inbuilt cynicism and suspicion of everything or a learned behaviour given my past. And, I guess maybe, if I'm real damn honest with myself, I do want to see that body leave my shores. I want to see those eyes again one more time.

~

The place is a goddamn mansion. Weathered and a little screwed, but this is real old money from generations back with a view over the ocean to be envied. Clearwater. What a name for the house of a priest who screws a villain. There's nothing clear about them as a pair that I can see. Although maybe Miri was right and they just love each other.

Smiling to myself, I keep looking at Logan's car parked up on the huge drive from my position on the incoming road. Looks like his priest is rich as hell behind those robes. It's not what he seemed like in that humble little cottage, but what would I know about generational wealth? I'm the son of a whore who built her fortune from dirty beds, spread legs and cum stained sheets.

Logan will know I'm here, no doubt. I've not hidden the car too much, and with his own set of suspicious morals, he'll be constantly scoping out the periphery. I've scanned the windows occasionally, searching for a glimpse of her. I haven't caught one. I'm not surprised. He's probably told them both to stay away from the windows in case someone's coming to cause trouble. This isn't a well-fortified stronghold. It's quiet, other than the heavy salt wind and breeze. No real traffic. Not many people either. And, whilst I don't expect my brothers to walk all over Cane to get what they want, they're persistent as fuck when something's pissed on them. Dante's already in Manhattan somewhere, and Abel, well, he might just blow everything to shit just to make his damn point felt. Who knows with him. He's a goddamn law unto himself most days.

Sighing, I rest back and keep scanning. I thought about getting out for a while, about going in there and saying things, but I don't know what they are. Maybe Samuel knew what I wanted to say, but I don't. He should've told me back there at the church, made me look deeper than the surface level I've lived in most of my life. I'm only just working out who I am without my family's influence forcing me into ways I'm not made for, and he thinks I should be saying something, laying something on the line maybe? Like what?

Snorting at the futility of that, I just keep staring. It's not like I've got anywhere else to be anyway. No one wants me, and the only place I've got to go isn't going to be anywhere near welcoming me home. No, I'm just gonna do this until the end. Make sure that all this was worth it, and then, maybe, I'll find the right words to go home and set some things straight. After that, who fucking knows.

Eventually, I see them come out the front door. Miri walks straight past the car and heads for the gates, apparently shouting at Logan about something, and then Naja. I watch her scowl set in as she turns back to Naja and raises her finger, pointing and shouting some more, and then she's moving again until the gates open and she's running along the street towards me.

I get out and start moving for her, wondering what the hell she's doing. "What the fuck are you doing? Get in his car," I shout.

She comes to a stop in front of me. "Why are you here?"

"I wanted to make sure he wasn't playing with me. You need to go, Miri."

His car pulls alongside us, the window dropping, and he stares at us. "Don"t have much time," he says.

"Miri, please," Naja calls. "Get in the car."

Miri looks straight at me. "Do you want me to get in his car?" I swallow away the thought that maybe I don't and walk to his back door to open it.

"Get in, Miri. Go." She moves around me, her hand dragging my goddamn arm as she goes. "You have to go." Our hands touch, and my own fucking eyes stare at hers for too long. Thoughts rush into my head. Stupid fucking thoughts about a time that isn't now or here or even fucking reasonable for who we are. "Go, please."

"But-"

"But nothing." I push her shoulders back to the seat and buckle her in. "This is goodbye. Now go."

Taking a step back, I slam the door on her, and within a second, the car pulls off and leaves me standing in the dust it's created. It only takes me a few dead minutes in the wind for me to realise that I didn't want her to get in that car yet. I wanted her with me, beside me, and because of it I'm now torn between seeing this through to the end or just turning and heading home to face the goddamn music.