26. perception

26

perception

Rivian

Lucynda's dress flows effortlessly in the wind as we walk silently in the night. We're no less than a few minutes away from The Gilded Hollow, and I allowed her the peace of silence because I wanted her to soak in her last night as a human. Come tomorrow night, she will be turned, and she will be my wife.

Kacian is to be with Cyn at all times, but since I have accompanied her on this walk, I asked him to wait for us at the door.

"Tickets," he says as he nods his head at the both of us.

Lucynda looks up at me with a curiosity painting her face.

"It's protocol, little one. It allows us to be able to tell who comes in and who comes out, so you must scan your ticket." I explain to her and she simply nods her head and searches her clutch.

I can tell she's not confident she still has it, but I knew this night was coming so I made sure she had it tucked in there.

She pulls out her ticket and looks up at me, a small smile curling on her lips.

"I've got you," I say to her with my hand on the small of her back, feeling the goosebumps flood her there. I make her nervous. She makes me nervous too.

She scans her ticket under the scanner and the door opens for us. I nod my head at Kacian before we disappear inside.

Once we get to the main room, we drop our belongings off on the conveyor belt with the other guard and proceed to the bar.

"Why do we have to leave our phones?" She asks as we weave through the crowd of dancing Outsiders and Nocturnes in coexistence.

"No pictures, no proof. It's hard enough to compel a room full of Outsiders to forget what they saw when they enjoyed the likes of our parties, so having to erase evidence of such in the form of videos or pictures isn't something we want to be responsible for." The answer I give her seems to satisfy her enough to continue forward.

Lucynda looks like black magic in her dress as she lets her eyes roam over the venue. The atmosphere is different from the first time she was let in. This time, it's more upbeat and fast paced as techno music fills the air with flashing lights and strobes bouncing off the glittered chandeliers above us.

I can feel a few curious eyes peg my sweet sin, keeping their eye contact on her a little too long as I'm sure they see how absolutely devastating she looks in her gown. The moment I saw it, I knew it needed to be on her body. But more so, I imagine what it would look like torn on the fucking floor after I rip it from her.

I glare in the direction of a pair of eyes that I can feel wander over my queen for far too long, and he flinches away as I watch him pretend to be doing anything other than ogling over what's mine. You'd think that people would have more fucking respect for me, but I can't truly blame the Outsiders for their fuck ups, seeing as they don't really know who I am.

As we navigate the crowd, I can hear Cyn’s heartbeat over the music, the laughter, and the moans. All I can think about is her and I'm realizing that my obsession with her, my need for this one girl, is slowly taking over everything else in my life. Despite the news I'd just learned yesterday and my wish to still act out my plans, I can't stop thinking about my future wife. If she wasn't who she was, this might actually work. If my agenda for revenge never existed, then I might actually let myself love her.

The two contradicting thoughts aren’t lost on me . . . I am utterly fucked.

Love is for the weak. Love destroys you. And though I have decided that I am going to give Lucynda more of my attention, more of my time, I still have to keep my heart at a distance. She can have everything else. But she can't have that.

We reach the bar top and one of my bartenders widens his eyes when he sees Lucynda.

"Hello, Miss Claire. Sir." He looks between the both of us before bowing his head and then readies himself for our order.

"She'll have the same thing she had last time, Raxon, and I'll take a Bloody Mary." Lucynda snaps her head in my direction, and I can see the confusion swarm her eyes.

I chuckle because I know what she's thinking.

Raxon nods his head and turns to make her drink. He slides the glittery blue liquid her way and then whistles over and calls out for Mary and on cue, a tall girl with red hair wanders out from the backroom on ditzy feet, completely naked, and seeming completely out of it, because she is, and staggers up to the bar.

Raxon places a tumbler down on the bar, the girl holds her wrist over the opening of it, and then he takes a blade to her flesh, slicing it open.

Lucynda makes a gasping sound as she flinches and watches the blood drip from this woman's wrist and into the glass.

"Hi, I'm Mary," the woman says too enthusiastically to Cyn while her eyes are hollow.

"Rivian," Cyn whispers and I know she won't say much else. She's shocked, I'm sure. But this is my life. Soon, this will be hers too.

I see her look up at me from the corner of her eye. Does she wonder if I'm eyeing the naked woman in front of me? Does she feel disgust that I'm allowing liquid to drip from her wound and into the cup I'll soon be drinking out of?

"It's just blood," I say to her, so low that I know only she can hear me. I take my hand and slide it down her back right before I reach her ass. She shivers. "I’m yours. And it's just blood." My whisper reaches her, and I can feel her relax a bit, still looking up at me.

Once there's about three fingers of blood poured into the glass, Raxon excuses her, and Mary saunters on toward the back room, still dripping red as she goes.

"You two have a nice night," my bartender says before getting back to work.

We turn around but I can feel Lucynda's eyes on me, still burning with something that feels a lot like jealousy.

"If you have something to say, Cyn, just say it."

"Why? When you can read my mind." Her attitude doesn't go unnoticed by me.

I feel her shoulders tense up. Tonight, she feels different. Something is bothering her, I can tell. But I don't want to play these intrusive games with her. She's the one who asked me to give this the good old college try and while I can't give her everything she wants, I will do everything else I can. So I won't dig into her mind to force her thoughts from her. She's going to have to use her fucking words.

"Is that going to stop when we get married?" She finally gains the courage to ask what I know she's been thinking about.

"What? Me drinking blood?" I ask for clarification.

"Yes. Drinking from other…" her words trail off as she pulls her own drink to her lips. We walk around the crowd of dancers and over to the wrought iron spiral staircase.

She looks up and I can tell apprehension hides in her silver irises.

"I didn't drink from her," I say, and Cyn just rolls her eyes.

"Okay, maybe not directly, but it's her blood nonetheless. And the girl the other night?" She shifts uncomfortably in her dress. But the way she moves has my eyes dragging down to her chest, where I can practically see her heart pounding underneath.

Her skin glistens in the light and her eyes burn like a white fire as she watches me explore her body.

"Does it make you jealous?" I ask, before leading her up the stairs.

I take a sip of the blood in my glass and let the iron-flavored liquid sit on my tongue for a second too long before swallowing it down. It definitely curbs the craving, but it does nothing compared to what Lucynda's did to me.

"That's not why I'm asking." Lucynda stops at the top of the stairs and turns to me. She can see the small trace of blood on my lips and absentmindedly, she licks her own.

I have to dip my head to hide my smirk, and hopefully to suppress the desire that drowns me. Desire to take her up against this fucking railing, say fuck all to everyone else watching, and do exactly what I want to do to her.

"Do you want me to not drink from other women?" I ask her, and her eyes flick from mine to the floor before returning back to me.

"I'd like it if you didn't. I'm going to be your wife." Her statement does something to me. Her use of the word wife fucking does something to me.

I turn to the table next to me, a group of Nocturnes sitting together and chatting about who knows what, as I set my tumbler down on the table. They all take a second to acknowledge my presence by nodding their heads, and then fight over who gets the blood I just offered them.

"It's that fucking simple, Lucynda. You ask me not to do something, I won't do it. You want something, all you have to do is use your words. You understand?"

Chills invade her skin visibly, I know she likes that I just did that for her. I told her I'd give her everything I can. So, I will. Because this girl is mine and I am a man of my word.

Lucynda looks over the balcony down at the hundreds of people below us. She takes a sip of her drink, finishing it off, and holds the glass over the edge of the railing, seemingly thinking about something that I don't dare to dive into without her permission.

"What's the purpose of this party?" she asks as she looks around at all the masked guests. "I know Troian said it's to celebrate my final night, but surely no one here cares about that. And I don't see much reason to celebrate." Her words don't offend me. I wanted this to be more of an escape for her. I wanted this to be cathartic, so I can give her a glimpse into what having power means.

People will fall at her feet and hang on to her every word simply because she's their new queen. But more comes with the territory and I want her to experience that.

"People come to these parties because they were invited and it makes them feel like they're a part of something big. The outsiders have no clue what they're getting into and as you know, when they leave they won't even remember it. But they come because it's elusive. We only invite so many at a time. Nocturnes are here because it's their duty and above all else, there's blood which is also why the outsiders are invited."

"What's in it for me?" Her voice holds timidity as she processes what everything means, realizing that the end is near.

"Let me go get you another drink and I'll show you." I grab her glass from her hands, allowing my fingers to graze over hers. The electricity that buzzes between us lights me up, feeling it tenfold to what she can feel.

She’s the essence of sin. A sacred divinity created just for me.

It's all the confirmation I need to know that I will never be able to get this girl out of my system even when it comes time to break her heart.