25. final night

25

final night

Lucynda

October 18th – 1 day until the wedding

The incessant knocking against my door is what wakes me from my deep sleep.

After fumbling around with Rivian last night—yes, that's what I'm calling it—I was sent to my room, again. Now, I would say I'm pissed off at the fact and maybe even say something along the lines of, "didn't we talk about this, Rivian?" but this time wasn't the same. This time, I felt the shift in the air between us. I know we both feel the flame that kindles our souls together and I feel like he might truly let me in.

I can say that I am starting to feel the effects of the tether and despite the previous fits or arguments we found ourselves in, I am partial to believing that this might actually work whether he denied me the oddity of love or not.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Kacian, it's too early for this," I groan as I lift my head from the silk-covered pillows.

I can see the rays of sun peeking through the drapes, and instead of ravens cawing, blue birds sing their song of morning.

Knock, knock, knock.

"Okay, okay. I'm coming. Sheesh ."

I throw the plush blanket away from me and step down into a pair of slippers I found in the closet last night. After my first night here, all of the shelves and drawers have since been filled with everything a girl could dream of, assuming someone took it upon themselves to do the shopping for me.

I wipe the sleep from my eyes before walking to the door to twist the knob, swinging it open. I’m half ready to give Kacian a piece of my mind for waking me from my slumber earlier than I would have liked.

"What do you want, Ka-" I stop myself short of ripping the wrong person apart with my irritation, noticing that Kacian isn't the one knocking at my door. "Oh, Troian," I say in surprise.

She shoves her hands into her pocket and pulls out a little plastic bag with three pills inside.

She looks tired, considering vampires don’t really need much sleep. But it's when I step closer to grab the pills out of her hand, that I notice she was actually crying. The red in her eyes is the tell.

"I was supposed to take you to get these last night, but you were sound asleep." Her voice sounds cracked and dry, not as sarcastic and charismatic as I'm used to.

"You came into my room?" I feel uneasy knowing that anyone at any time can just waltz into my bedroom while I'm sleeping, door locked or not.

"No, I could hear your breathing through the door." She looks down at the floor. “If you didn’t know. No one is allowed to penetrate these walls when your door is locked. It’s some kind of magic that prevents unwanted guests from invading your privacy. However, your guard can break the door down if needed.”

I like that at least I know I’ll be able to close myself away if I need to, without the fear of someone manifesting into my space.

"Oh, well what are these?" I cross my arms over my chest realizing that I'm only wearing a silk pajama set, the bag of pills closed tight in my palm.

"Your birth control pills. You have to take one right now. Another tomorrow, and then the day after as well. All at the same time of day."

"Okay," I say.

Awkwardness swims around us, neither of us keeping eye contact or speaking freely like we did at the boutique the other day.

I can tell that something is bothering her and I grow curious as to what, but I know that it's not my place to ask her.

"They're effective immediately so you might want to pop the first one," she says as she nods toward the pills in my hand.

"Right." I turn around and walk back into my room.

I leave the door open behind me, allowing her to follow me inside if she feels inclined.

"So about last night-" I proceed to say as I disappear into the bathroom to fill a cup with some water.

"Not my business," she hollers. "What you and my brother do when you're in the public view of the castle hallways is not of my concern." I smirk, hearing that infamous sarcasm drip from her tone.

I place the pill on the tip of my tongue and wash it down with water as a question replaces it, setting the other pills down on the countertop.

I head back out into the room to see Troian standing by one of the windows and looking out at the trees. From here, you can see parts of the creek running into a drop-off from the cliff where it falls into the ocean.

"Do you think your brother could ever…" I trail off leaving my question unfinished. I hate that I'm asking something too serious to someone I barely even know. But I seem to have more and more questions about my life here the moment my eyes open from sleep, likely wanting to make sure that I don’t screw this up or become a disappointment to someone.

However, the question of love is harrowing and somewhat prompt. It just kind of fell from my mouth. But tomorrow is my wedding day and I'm positive that if anyone is going to give me an honest answer, it would be Troy.

"Spit it out, princess." She turns around to face me, her long black hair is in loose waves around her face.

"You think he could ever love?" I want to say love me . But I leave the last word in order to avoid my future sister-in-law from taking that as an invitation to roast me.

It already feels silly coming out of my mouth, as if I didn't realize that on my own, and I was presented with a cold, hysterical response. Exactly what I wanted to avoid.

Troian is nearly in half from laughter, bent over with her hands on her knees and struggling to breathe as she lets me know just how ridiculous my question was.

"Wow, that was the answer I was looking for." I roll my eyes at her.

She manages to calm herself down enough to see my frustration with her, and as if she remembers that I am to be her queen, she straightens herself up real quick.

"Don't take it personal, Lucynda. But Rivian is stone-cold. He has no room for love. The only woman he's ever had love for was his mom."

I know I shouldn't feel jealous of someone's mom, but that's kind of how I feel right now. Maybe it's because I want love from someone, and I know I won't get it from my soon-to-be husband. Or maybe it's because I don't know what it's like to have a real mother.

Either way, the admission stings.

"Gotcha," I say passive aggressively.

"You asked me for an answer, I gave you the facts. Don't get all butthurt on me, Lucynda." She holds her hands up in mock surrender and I don’t miss the way I truly do love how straight forward she is, even if the truth hurts.

I feel like she’s one person I can learn to count on the most. Honestly, Troian is the closest thing—besides Stella, rest in peace—that I have to a friend. Even more so than Griselda ever was and I knew her for years and years. But to what extent can we be close with each other? Can we be closer, as in actually establishing a friendship? Or would that be stepping over a line that I don't know exists? Would Troy even want to be friends? Or does our title of sisters-in-law stop at just that?

"Make him work for it,” she tells me, likely seeing the thoughts overprocess in my head. “Whatever he is willing to give you, take it and don't let him have any of it back. But make him work for what you want and give him just as much. That will go a long way for him. He might not show that, but Rivian is a full-on giver when he sees the effort being placed first." Troian steadies her eyes on me as she zeros in on my suddenly rushed breathing. "But he's also a taker. And he will fucking take if he feels like that's all your good for. Remember that, young blood."

" Young blood ?" I raise my brow, trying to push down the thoughts of Rivian giving and taking anything.

"Just a little nickname." She shrugs her shoulders. Typical.

Silence stampedes us for a few seconds, layering the room with something that really draws attention to the fact that Troy isn't herself right now.

I lean against the wall opposite of where she stands and decide to take a chance.

"Hey, is something bothering you?" If she has something she wants to get off her chest, I want her to know that I'm here for her.

"Sorry. I'm a bit on edge," she responds, turning back to the window to, presumably, avoid eye contact with me.

"I can tell." I give her a taste of her own medicine by adding a sarcastic twist to my words, causing her to chuckle.

"Hopefully tonight will relax me a bit."

"What's tonight?" I walk over to the bed and attempt to straighten out the sheets and blankets.

"The Ultime Nocte Masquerade." Troy joins me on the other side and helps me smooth out the bedding so that it lays neatly across the bed.

" Ultime Nocte ?" I'm starting to realize that being a vampire means learning a lot of foreign words to fill my vocabulary.

"Wait, did you not know?" She stops what she's doing and gives me a very concerned look. I can tell that maybe this is something Rivian should have discussed with me, but again, our communication has been clouded with our arguments of power and the sexual attraction we share for each other.

But he did give me a lot of good information yesterday and he answered all of my questions, so I can't be too mad at him for not telling me about this . . . whatever this is.

I peg her with a look that says “do you really have to ask that” and she simply shakes her head in disapproval before explaining it to me.

"I swear, my brother is insufferable. The Society is throwing another party for you and my brother. The final night. Think of it as a sort of combined bachelor and bachelorette party the Outsiders like to throw. It’s to celebrate your last night as a human before your wedding day." She returns to fluffing out the pillows and sheets while I chew over her words.

I never really thought of that. My last night as a human…

"Oh. Wonderful." I skip the part where I pretend to feel excited at that thought. Granted, I am choosing this life but to celebrate something as sublunary as dying a human to become a vampire seems downright cruel.

"Usually when I hear the word party, I get excited." Troy smiles at me as she watches me try to digest this information.

I never liked parties. The last party I went to before moving here, I was almost coerced into some sex film situation.

"It's just the last time I went to one of your masquerades, I ended up trapped in some weird porn hallway after being bullied by Travois." I think back to that night. How I met Travois for the first time and how I haven't seen him since. Or how I was questioning my morals by being in that hallway and watching a group of people perform sexual activities in closed off rooms.

Troy shoots me a look that tells me I'm being dramatic.

"Okay, not fully to the extent of bullying, but you know that party was weird. Everyone knew my name and-"

"They were celebrating the arrival of their new queen." She interrupts me to give me a new perspective of the night, something I didn't think about as much either. "As for Trav, he's in his own head. He's got a dark heart, and he has no qualms with being an asshole to literally everyone. Sometimes I wonder who's worse, him or Riv."

Her statement makes me wonder about her brother a bit. He had no problems pulling me away from the party just to feed me my first spew of cryptic bullshit since being thrust into this world and it’s off that I haven’t seen him since.

"Well, when is this new party then?" I watch Troian as she walks back over to the door and lean against the frame of the wood.

"Ten tonight, when curfew ends." She gives me a small smile.

She really is pretty. I can't compare her to her twin because I've never seen him without his mask, but I don't see much resemblance between her and Rivian. Maybe the eye shape, but his are green where hers are blue and I love the way her dark hair accentuates them.

"I've got that down too," I say to her, mentioning the time of curfew. Rivian explained to me yesterday that vampires can't go out during the day, so curfew starts when day breaks and ends when night falls.

"You're doing good, you'll get the hang of this in no time." She turns to walk out the door but part of me wants to keep her here for some reason, so I find something to ask her about.

"So, what should I wear?"

"Check your closet. I believe Natasha stocked it for you earlier." She's not wrong, and I already knew that.

I don’t have anything else to talk about, so I let her walk away like she attempts, leaving I'm alone with my thoughts.

It's been hours of me just sitting here, staring out the window.

When I felt like it was close enough to start getting ready, I went into the closet and found a few dress options to choose from for the night. Considering it's meant to be a fancy event, I opted for a red velvet dress with straps that hang loosely down my arms and connect to black lace gloves that cover my elbows down to my fingertips.

It's got a bit of a dip between the breast and the form of the bodice pushes them up to accentuate the curvature of them. Little black jewels line the top of the A-line hem and there is a split down one side revealing one of my legs, mid-thigh down.

Natasha had been up here earlier to help me with my hair, seeing as I am hair-dysfunctional other than a braid or some small curls. She was able to throw it up into a beautiful bun with a small braid wrapping around it to polish it off. She also helped with my makeup as well leaving me with dark, smoky shadowed eyelids and a touch of red lipstick.

She pointed me to the jewelry in my closet before leaving me, which is what I am browsing now.

As I scan the options of necklaces and earrings, something else catches my eye. A pretty silver ring with little baby diamonds wrapping around the band. In the center is a small heart shaped diamond and the sparkle on it glints as I pick it up.

I hadn't thought about ever wanting a wedding ring, as marriage had never been on my mind before all of this. But it just hits me that Rivian might not even present me with a ring for our wedding. I didn't expect him to propose, that's for certain. But the idea of a loveless marriage and nothing to show for it starts to put a damper on the hopes he had built up yesterday when we were getting along so well.

I slip the ring onto my marriage finger of my left hand.

It's a perfect fit.

I hold it up in the light and watch as the diamond creates little rainbow shadows around me, dancing in the light. I let the idea of me being someone's wife shape my future and feed me optimism while I twirl around in the beautiful dress with the diamond on my finger. I picture my wedding to be ethereal and magnificent with flowers everywhere and family and friends that I pretend to have sitting in the decorated chairs, standing as I walk in.

"You look stunning." A deep voice scares me of my daydream, and I yelp as I turn to face the man that haunts my thoughts.

I immediately look down at my hand and remember the ring I have there.

I try to hide it behind my back, but it's too late. He catches the glint of the shine in the light before I can keep it from him.

"Lucynda," he whispers my name in a forbidden low tone sending waves of electricity to voltage down my spine.

"I was just trying it on," I tell him as I attempt to pull the ring off, embarrassed that he caught me in the vulnerable moment of mine.

Rivian walks towards me, smoky heat invades my senses as I take in how fucking delicious he smells. I look down at my hands to try and avoid eye contact as he gets closer, but his shadow takes up my space and before I know what's happening, Rivian is lifting my chin with his finger to direct my eyes up at his own.

"It's beautiful, little one. But it's not the one I picked out for you." Rivian moves his eyes down to my lips, then over my cleavage, causing my skin to light on fire.

When he looks back up to my eyes, he reaches down to grab my hand and twists the ring on my finger.

"But you can keep it on for now, if it makes you feel better. But ring or not, everyone knows you're fucking mine." The growl in his tone is possessive and it creates this idea that he really does want me. That he will allow himself the coveted luxury of no longer having to hide his wants and needs.

He gives me butterflies like no other as I simply nod a helpless nod at him and allow him to lean down, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"I'm half tempted to tell you to change out of this dress though, if I’m being honest. I'm afraid I do tend to get jealous, and I can already tell that tonight all eyes will be on you." He whispers his words against my hair before pulling back and searching my eyes for any kind of reaction.

I'm sure he can see me spiraling right now.

"But you're missing one thing," he says as he reaches into this suit jacket and pulls out a mask.

My mask.

Rivian unties the ties and brings the mask up to my face. He levels it to position and then reaches around to secure it into place.

As he does this, something carnal sets off inside me and my inner badassery kicks in, leaning forward and pressing my lips to his as he continues to make work of the ties.

He lets me kiss him like this for a few seconds before he's got the mask secured and he moves his hands to my cheeks, holding me while I let his tongue slip inside my mouth and he groans as he kisses me.

It’s all warmth and caressing, tantalizing and possessive. I don’t want to let go, but he does.

"Fuck, Lucynda. You are a drug." His harsh tone bleeds with his desire to take more and I let that feeling soak into my skin and dive my pulse to a frenzy.

And I want you addicted, is what I want to say. But I don't even dare think it in case he is reading my mind right now.

"Are you ready to go?" He takes a step back and straightens his jacket out before reaching for my hand. I give him the one with the placeholder ring.

"How come you didn't tell me about this?" I ask as he leads us out of my room.

"You've been in your room all day, haven't you?" He questions me, as if I had a choice.

"What do you mean?"

"You overthink when you're alone. You should have come to find me." He places his hand at the small of my back as we exit out the front door of the castle where we approach a car waiting for us.

"I didn't know you wanted that." I stop before proceeding to the door that Kacian is holding open for me. “But you could have also come to me,” I add, trying my best not to sound too disappointed.

"I know we've not seen eye to eye. But I want to rectify that. If you ever need me, you can call my name or you can come find me. My time is yours." He looks down at me with power and truth radiating from his eyes, as if to let me know that his attempt to push me away the last time I begged for his time will never happen again.

It warms me. It creates optimism for our situation. Maybe things will turn out for the better after all. All I ask for is that we are on the same page and that we learn to trust and respect each other.

"Let's get going," he says as he nods to the car.

"Wait, can we walk?" He looks at me in confusion as I explain my reasoning. "It'll be my last time walking the streets as a human. I just-"

Rivian pulls me into him, pushing the loose strands of hair off of my face as he lowers his voice for just the two of us to hear.

"You don't need to explain, little one. Whatever you want. We can walk." And then he turns and waves Kacian away.

"Thank you," I whisper to him before we start our journey to the Gilded Hollow to celebrate my final night.