15. the chase

15

the chase

Rivian

I think back to one of the few memories I've preserved of my mother. I was just five years old when she was banished from the compound forever, a decision that was taken from her because she was not good enough in the name of love.

She made me promise her that if I ever found love or even experienced an inkling of it, that I would follow it through. But how can I keep that promise to her when I know that love is ultimately the reason why she was banned to the shadows? The idea of love at the age of five was trivial. Though I could see it in my mother's eyes that love did exist in her mind.

I am a man of my word, but I have no real intentions of searching for love in this matter. This feeling I have for Lucynda is pure infatuation, an obsession I developed due to the tether. My need for her is purely for selfish reasons. The idea that I would exercise something so negligible as falling in love would ruin everything.

Love is nothing but a trap that hides you from the truth about life, that it's clouded by people who will always want the next best thing. Even if Lucynda was not pinned to be my soulmate, her fate would still be the same. She may be on the road to becoming my queen but she was always meant to be my pawn. I just didn’t expect for the complete annihilation of my reserve, wanting to consume everything that is her. It will ruin me.

Nocturnes experience their emotions a lot harder and a lot faster than humans but I have more control over mine than most. There aren’t many Nocturnes who can train an abyss to take over, leading them to suppression of their emotions which in turn can be damaging to everyone around them. However, that abysmal take over can only survive for so long before the damn breaks and emotions start to flood. That is also detrimental. But I plan to be long gone before then.

I pace my office, feeling slight unease about knowing that I will be taking this girl’s innocence entirely. Sure, my agenda stands and I won’t be stopped in my pursuit, but I do have some sympathy for innocent souls being used for an evil’s greater good. I recognize my part in all of this will destroy her. She’s been thrust into this life of mine without any volition of her own; I gave her no choice but in the same note, I had no choice.

No one else knows of the real reason I went back to avenge her. Why I took the necessary steps to make sure she ended up here in Shadow Creek, in Hollows Trace, in my home, as my queen. To the kingdom, she is my anima vinculum , which is true. But to me, she is the key to my retribution.

I cross my arms over my chest and look down at my feet.

“How did it go?” Zharus welcomes himself into my office without invitation and immediately jumps into conversation. “I take it not so well considering she is not here.” I know he doesn’t mean to come off as an imbecilic irritation with his conclusion. But it irks me that his assumption is an opinion against my ability.

I look up at him, pegging him with the annoyance that swirls in my eyes. I can prove to be somewhat of an aversive man to those who question my schemes, or who question me at all, really. But Zharus does tend to test my limits knowing that if he were anyone else, they wouldn't be as lucky.

“She will have no choice. I’m simply entertaining her need to feel as if she has control over the situation, allowing her the time she requested to process.” I stand my ground using my tone to project my commanding presence. Though, I don’t need to try so hard to portray order and respect. I just hate the feeling of knowing some people require an explanation from me rather than just trusting my word.

“What if she runs?” He plants an unbothered smirk on his face, seemingly testing me and what I might do if things don’t actually go my way. But history has a way of repeating itself and I wonder if he’s simply making sure that I am prepared for the same fate my father was met with, a runaway bride, a participation trophy for the most murders performed in war, and ultimately his death.

"You know she has no business being our queen if she's as flighty as she's shown us. Lore isn’t law, necessarily, and I’m sure the Society would understand if your next best choice was your first choice. We need someone who isn’t going to bleed doubt onto the other societies, or to our own. It's not fair to give the title to someone who is living in fear." His words hold truth. The Society needs someone who will stand by me and delegate what's necessary when duty is concerned, and provide me with support, and hold her head up high when things get a little tough. And though those are the true intentions that a queen must fill, that does not necessarily mean they are the intentions I have for her.

None of those things matter to me for what I intend.

"Riv?" Zharus sits down on one of the leather couches in front of my desk and rests his elbows on his knees as he looks up at me with question in his eyes.

"I'll marry Lucynda. Even if I have to force her. She will be the next queen. She will do what is asked of her. And your concerns are not needed any further.” He watches me as I push his thoughts back to where they came from. Normally, Zhaurs and I are on the same page with everything. But when only one of us knows the truth, a difference in opinion is expected and I don’t anticipate indulging in his concerns.

"You're allowing the Society to look weak to the fronts of the Faction and the other kingdoms. You could have married weeks ago and no one would have batted an eye. You really think that-”

I pound my fist into the wood of my desktop, stopping him from insulting me any further.

"Zharus, I implore you to stop fucking talking." Vexation pinches my voice and claws at my skin.

Immediately, he closes his mouth and holds up his hand in apology. I'm well aware of how petty it might seem to someone like Zhaurs, who all his life has never had to do anything remotely as damaging as watching someone you love be taken from you, or to be forced against your will to become one of the monsters that instill fear, or needing to find a way to rectify all of that by sacrificing everything.

"I suggest that you refrain from telling me how I should run my kingdom. You may be my closest friend, but you can be expendable if you see it best to get in my way." It's a threat, no doubt. I don't often let my Factotum get on my nerves for more than being inefficient in something where efficiency is needed. But I will not tolerate the lack of reverence from anyone.

"You're right, I'm sorry." He holds up his hands before running them through his hair.

Silence falls between us for a few beats while we let the tension settle to nearly nothing.

"Well, not to make matters worse, but three more bodies showed up sometime between midnight and earlier this morning." Zharus stands from the couch and paces the floor between us.

"Valor Cove?" I question and he nods his head.

"Two Outsiders and one Nocturne,” he confirms. “I was there last night because . . . well, you know. And I overheard a commotion and that’s when I learned what was going on. Supposedly, they held a party last night and they believe that whoever is responsible took advantage of that time to act."

Great. So, while I was running around town after a flighty human, lusting over her smell and the darkness that exuded from her, someone was playing predator in our reluctant ally's compound.

"And who do they think it is this time?" I dare to ask, already aware of the answer I'll be given.

"I can't expect them to think it to be anyone but this kingdom, Rivian. We are uncrowned right now, no one truly holds the throne. Our Nocturnes could very well be acting out in light of that. The rumors I heard believe it to be the fact that our blood is weakening, and we've got a rogue."

Zharus shows great concern as he gives me all the information he possesses. My mind wanders to who could possibly be that idiotic as to disobey me and this kingdom. The only person I can think of is my dim-witted half-brother.

“Have you seen Travois?” I question, knowing that he spent a few moments at the masquerade to imprint his god complex onto my bride-to-be, but after that, his whereabouts have been unknown to me.

“I saw him yesterday, before I snuck out, arguing with his fiancé outside of the gazebo,” he tells me.

“What about?”

“I couldn't be sure. But I reckon it was due to the fact that he was about to head out somewhere and she was not allowed to leave, due to her lack of royal blood.”

Can I really picture Trav being the one to initiate this kind of chaos onto the Society? His impertinence is loud. I know he’s not happy I am next in line. But he can’t possibly stoop down to the levels of scoundrels to display that.

What good would that do for anyone?

But who else would rogue in our Society?

"The death of the Outsiders made their local news. The bodies were left in broad daylight and an investigation is being done.” The information Zhar provides me doesn’t help matters whatsoever. This is bad.

“I anticipate Viktrum pointing the finger this way. Besides, you know Viktrum and Xalden are friends, so his doubt in the Ruby Stone Society is nonexistent. And Gentry's Society is on a lockdown of their own after an Outsider escaped a feed without compulsion and blabbed his mouth to his friends. No one believed him, of course, but discipline was dished out to the Shallow Strix Society while the situation blows over."

The whole situation is actually a big mess.

“This can’t be good for the treaty, Rivian. If someone from this Society is responsible, that could lead to our entire kingdom being locked down or worse . . . demolished.”

My father started a war eleven years ago between Hollows Trace and Valor Cove to have his wife returned. She ran away for reasons unbeknownst to anyone within the kingdom and despite everyone’s best efforts to deny her presence, he was persistent in her return.

Eventually he did give up on looking for his wife, considering her trace went cold. Anyone with royal blood is traceable by another Royal and when she wasn't found, she was presumed dead. But not before he initiated war for nearly two years, killing everyone who got in his way. This was the very reason for the Affinitas Treaty.

"Well, I think we can both agree that the biggest concern is the idea of treason. And if what you're saying is true, and Viktrum suspects it to be one of our own, then I would assume he'd be on his way to visit soon. I'm surprised that he hasn't come looking for his cretin crony just yet, but the Faction will likely also be headed our way." I turn to face the window that looks out onto the compound and Cliff Island. I watch as the moon shifts behind the clouds and the water glistens in the light of it.

This is the last thing I need, more trials and tribulations. The only potential culprit who comes to mind is Travois and I hate knowing that one of my own could betray me like this. But if it’s not him, then who?

"I need you to keep your eyes and ears on Valor Cove and the Faction. I need to know who leaves the compound within the next few days in case more bodies arise. You should probably keep a distance too, Zharus. Vitkrum will either play this by the rules and allow the Faction to perform their investigation or he might plan to defend in war. Though that would be injudicious of him," I conclude, saying that last part more to myself than anything.

He’s been salty since the war my father raged and this might give him an out to retaliate after all this time.

“And what will you be doing in the meantime?” Normally, I’d ignore his request to know of my whereabouts, but I understand the need for trust to fall both ways.

“I am going to bring my fiancé home.”

Zharus starts to walk toward the door, nodding his acceptance of the task I gave him. But right as he’s about to leave the threshold of my office, a knock raps at the door.

I turn my attention toward the direction of a snotty voice.

"You called?" Birdania stands at the doorway in a flowy purple shirt and a pair of jeans. Her blonde hair is tied up into a messy bun and the smirk on her face is risible.

I nod at Zharus who turns to exit, lightly brushing shoulders with Birdania, who does nothing more than nod her head at him.

"You were eavesdropping." I turn to my desk to pour a drink from a bottle of Redemption 36 Bourbon Whiskey.

"I would never," she responds sarcastically as she welcomes herself into my office.

"I heard you," I sip from the glass, allowing the cool burn to run down my throat and ease the bloodlust I'd been feeling all morning.

After Lucynda left me the other day, I was half tempted to say fuck it and go feed on some poor unsuspecting human, but I know I'd rip them to shreds. Normally, I wouldn't care. But I have to try and keep control while I allow my plans to play out accordingly.

"Well, in my defense, I was summoned." She leans against one of the arms of my coffee brown leather sofa.

"Hardly." I roll my eyes as I turn to face her.

"So." She crosses her arms over her chest, feigning interest in an overexaggerated way. "You're deciding to move forward with the wedding then? Decided that I was too much for you to handle and you're gonna cat and mouse some broken little girl?"

"Shut up, Birdania."

She shudders. "I hate that name, don't call me that name."

"Well, I'm not calling you by anything else." I tip my glass to her before I slam the rest of the four fingers I had poured.

"You were almost about to call me your wife. And technically, we are still engaged, big boy." The excitement in her tone makes me cringe. I can't imagine marrying a girl like this. So blatantly self-centered and only concerned for herself.

"Are you sure about that?" I raise my brows and set down my crystal glass. “I vaguely remember calling off our engagement the other night,” I tell her.

"The only thing I'm sure about is that the little skank you've been chasing around isn't cut out for this life. You won't even need to turn me. And I'm sure I can fuck you better than she could."

Visions of taking something as sweet as Lucynda's virginity flashes through my head and I know I am no better a man for the invasive idea. I know I shouldn't allow her to give up something so precious for the blood bind of a royal marriage to a murderous night walker. But God, to know how she feels under me, to hear her breathe my name the way she does.

But all the same, rage boils in my blood. Hearing anyone speak about Lucynda in the way that Birdania speaks of her sets fire to my fucking soul and not in the good way. Only I have the right to talk about Lucynda any way I want.

I pin my eyes on her, letting her know that she's playing a dangerous game by opening her worthless mouth. But I have to keep my cool. I can't create any more heat in this compound seeing as we're already being suspected of treason.

The need to bash Birdania's head into a stone wall for even bringing up Lucynda is surfacing rather quickly to the forefront of my brain, only to bring me back to the conversation at hand.

"You will respect me, Birdania," I demand. "And you will respect my wife." My voice isa low rumble which is more of a reaction than she deserves.

I take a few steps in her direction, and she stands up, straightening her posture to feign bravery.

"Rivian?" A knock on the wood of the door calls my attention. My guard looks from me to my unwanted guest. "Oh, sorry. I didn't know you were occupied."

"Birdania was just leaving." I shoot her a heated look. "What do you need Kacian?"

"I don't know how she got in, but Lucynda is here. She demands to see you." An eager feeling fills me. She's here. That's probably why my thoughts of her were so strong. But also, annoyance hits my gut because I do not need any unwanted drama right now.

"Well, well. Your little midnight mask whore is here in the compound." Birdania paints a devious smirk on her face as her voice hits my ears like a crusty piece of chalk being dragged down a chalkboard.

Anger rises like a volcano erupting and the next thing I know, I'm shoving Birdania up against the wall, hand closing tight around her throat and a threat sitting on the edge of my tongue.

"If you so much as speak another disrespectful thing about Lucynda ever again, you will fucking regret it. I will hunt you down and make you very fucking sorry. Understood?"

She doesn't respond, instead a smile spreads across her bluing face.

"Birdania," I warn, squeezing her throat tighter and tighter.

All I have to do is rip her heart out to end her. She nods her head, grasping at my hand. I let go and she gasps for air.

"Asshole,” she chokes out, grabbing at her neck. “Don't get mad when you find out that I was right. Come find me when you're ready to be a real king and take a real wife."

"Get rid of her," I say to Kacian as I nod my head toward Birdania.

He escorts her out of my office, giving me a moment to prepare for the next girl who's been getting on my god damn nerves. But with Lucynda, it's different. She gives me so much frustration because she is fighting against me, just as I fight against her, and in some strange way it turns me on.

I pull at the cuffs of my suit jacket sleeves before heading out into the hallway. I find that my veins pump with so much intensity the closer I get to where she stands at the front door.

"Lucynda," I call her name in a deep and calculated tone as she stares up at the paintings on the wall. The ones that held a front row seat to the kiss we shared not long ago. A kiss that burns to my soul even after she pushed me away and I swore it couldn't happen again.

She doesn’t move as my footsteps close in on her. I take this moment to evaluate her from the last time I’d seen her. She’s wearing a dainty white dress that falls to her knees and dark brown combat boots. Her hair is tied into a ponytail on the back of her head. Beauty exudes from her and it’s not lost on me that I am drawn to the intensity of it.

"I honestly don't even know why I came here,” she says as she keeps her back to me. “I was planning to run away but I…"

Her words fade in shallow breaths. Her confession, though I suspected it, strikes a modicum of anger in me. She was going to make me chase her and a hunt I would ensue.

The slight echo the hallways allows gives me a hint of the whispered noise her breathing makes. She turns around and her bright gray eyes greet me in a mess of confusion and desire along with so many other mixed emotions that I can't seem to pinpoint.

She senses my frustration though, curling her arms around her to attempt an apology.

"I know. I'm sorry. I know what I said to you before, but you have to understand how crazy all this sounds to me. I mean, I believe you. I think. But when you told me that-”

"You’d have to turn into a vampire," I interrupt her and she deflates. I had a feeling that’s why she insisted on avoiding me.

Despite what I claim to have discovered in her, she is only human and I know a broken girl when I see one. It was one of the many reasons I was drawn to her. Her cracks mirrored my own and our traumas aligned the same. Nearly two parallel souls forced to live in two different worlds, which is likely why Nature paired us in a match.

“Yeah. That.” I watch her carefully as she does everything she can to avoid looking me in the eye.

"Lucynda.” I approach her gently, eating up the few feet that remain between us. I lower my tone, knowing anyone at any time can walk by and see or hear us. I plan to be intentionally vulnerable with her in this moment, and that is not something I want gossipy ears to be privy to

“There's a madness in you. A darkness. I knew it the first night we met. I’ve seen it ever since, but you chose to hide that part of you. Is there any part of you that might want to embrace it?" I take another step forward, hands in my pockets and eyes tunnel-visioned only on hers.

She tenses and looks up at me, her silver eyes glow like Shadow Creek in the dead of winter, frozen as solid ice.

"So you want me to become a villain?" Her question is valid. I seem to be only harping on her want for revenge as the sole reason why she should take my hand. There's more to her than that, I am aware. But I know what she craves and I can give that to her as long as she gives me what I want.

"No. But it takes a tough soul to take on a role this important and respected. I saw it in you all that time ago. Your need for something bigger. You crave power. I can give that to you. The Society can give that to you. I thought you would find solstice in obtaining a desire you craved for so long. To be seen ." I take another step in her direction but this time mirrors me, stepping backward.

"You got all that from me just by stalking me?" She shakes her head. "Wait, don't answer that. I forgot for a second that you are an intrusive jerk."

I dip my head and smirk. Even in a time of confusion and mystery, she finds a way to bring out her sass. I admire her for that as well.

"I'm sorry I attempted to run. I'll try not to do it again." Her apology hits me like a freight train. It was one thing when she begged, it's another when she apologizes. Fuck , it does something twisted to my body and I know I'm having a hard time containing myself. My reserve is on the last seam before bursting open. She's not ready for it when it finally gives in, when I finally give in.

"Do not apologize," I say with a little more bite than intended. "I'm not allowing you to take this role any further." I'm lying to her face, but I'm doing it because I want her to fight for her need for power. I need her to want this more than I do. It will make it easier when I ultimately let her down in the end.

"Wait, you can't do that," she argues. "You can't just chase me around and tell me all these secrets about your vampire world and practically force me to listen to your offer of marriage, and then tell me that I can't make that decision for myself."

"I can. And I did." I turn on my heel to walk her to the door. I need to get her out of my sight fast before I take more than her decisions away from her in this dire moment surrounding my need.

But I hear a small breath escape her pretty pink lips and her next words do nothing to help my case.

"I want to turn." Her sweet tone fills my ears like music, giving me gratification of her admission but at the same time, unrelenting desires that are forbidden to my intentions.

I turn around to see that she's blushing as her freckles glow under her icy eyes. I can practically feel the pulse of her heart in my own veins.

I'm ungodly for the thoughts I have of reaching under the hem of her dress and feathering my fingers up toward where I want them most. The way I would make her feel with just the swipe of my finger.

"Fuck," I breathe out lightly.

She's biting her lip as she falls completely unaware of my invasion of her body; her eyes are on the floor now.

I take a step back and force the dirty thoughts from my mind as I wait for her to explain herself.

"I will marry you. I want to turn. And I want you to-"

"Stop." I hold my hand out to signal her silence. I can't hear what she's about to say. I don't want to. I physically can’t take it. She has no idea what it will do to me, what her being here is already doing to me.

"I think I can do it. It just might take a little time for me to adjust." I notice the moment her eyes turn from confused and lost to secure and confident, though I still don't buy into the fact that she's truly ready to face what she tried to run from so many times already.

"I don't have a lot of time right now, Lucynda," I say to her, smiling at how perfect this seems to be playing out.

But the pull in my soul is gnawing at me to act on its urges, it desiderates the fulfillment that only she can provide.

She takes a few steps forward to eat up some of the space between us, a thunder pounds in the ventricles of my heart. Her proximity strikes me in a wicked way that I know I won't be able to let go of any longer. I need her, need this . It's taking over my every thought and every ounce of self-control. The hold she has on me is stronger than anything I've ever experienced.

She reaches her hand up, desperate to take mine. I let her take it and in the most innocent gesture, she slides her fingers into mine, her eyes wide with anticipation and something resembling desire when she whispers, "Then we better get started."