7. August

CHAPTER SEVEN

AUGUST

E lla talked about finding me a serious girlfriend the whole way home and wouldn't take no for an answer. I have a feeling I'm in for an extremely uncomfortable night if Ella has anything to do with it. I know this girl and when she puts her mind into something, she doesn't relent. At least I got her to understand how important it is to not create an online profile for me. Fuck, that would quickly become a feeding frenzy for the tabloids.

"This is so exciting." Ella claps as we ride the elevator to our floor. "I'll get my notebook and we can spend the whole evening creating you a lover girl list."

I lift my brow. "A what?"

"A lover girl list. You know, a list of all the qualities you find attractive in a woman and some of your biggest turn-offs."

Ugh.

"Did I agree to this?"

She bumps me with her hip and chuckles. "Yep. It's complimentary because we're roommates."

"Is it too late to kick you out?"

The elevator door dings and then slides open. Ella doesn't even look at me as she steps forward into the hallway. "Afraid so. Oh, hello…"

She stops mid stride before we reach the door to the apartment. I nearly run into her and then look ahead to see why she stopped. There in front of my door are my five brothers from other mothers. Griffin, Ledger, Harrison, Oliver, and even Bear.

"What the hell are you guys doing here?"

"Well, asshole," Griffin starts with a smirk. "We heard there's a new mascot in town and you've been holding her up here in your high tower."

High tower.

Like they don't all live near the top of their respective buildings.

Ledger grins. "Yeah. So like the gentlemen that we are, we decided to come meet the Tuesday girl who's had your heart since before you could grow a boner."

I shake my head. "Oh, for fuck's s?—"

"Aww. I guess that's me!" Ella smiles and waves at the guys. "Hi. I'm Ella. It's a pleasure to meet you all."

Griffin steps out of the group and offers Ella his hand. "Hey. I'm Griffin. It's great to finally put a face to a name."

"Ah, the guy with the pants," she says with a smile gesturing to Griffin's choice in pajama pants. Today's pair has tacos all over them with the words ‘Let's TACOBOUT it' scribbled around each one. "Auggie talks about you all the time. Love your choice in comfortable apparel by the way."

Five sets of eyes shoot to me when Ella says my name, causing me to wince. She's the only one who calls me Auggie. She's done it since we were kids.

"Well thank you very much," Griffin drawls, grinning like the damn Christmas Grinch and I can tell whatever he's doing, it's going to piss me off. I watch as he wraps an arm around Ella's shoulder and gestures towards the door. "Auggie here can't get enough of my penchant for fun comfy pants, isn't that right… Auggie ?"

Ugh.

They're never going to let me live this name down.

"Isn't it time for you all to leave?"

"What?" Ella squeals. "No way. You guys have to come in!" She turns, still in Griffin's arms. He glances my way when she's not looking and winks knowing damn well I'm hating that he's openly flirting with my girl right in front of me.

Okay, she's not really my girl, but close enough.

"Oooh, actually Auggie and I were just planning to sit down and talk about his lover girl list. Maybe you guys could help!"

Harrison's eyes bulge as a smile grows across his face. "Oooh, a lover girl list huh? What's that about… Auggie ?" He offers his hand to Ella. "I'm Harrison by the way."

"Right. Yeah. Sorry. Pleasure to meet you, Harrison. "I hear you're the Captain America of the team."

Harrison's gaze turns to me as his he cocks his head and sighs. "Aww, Auggie really does like me. Thanks, pal."

Yep. I'm never living this down.

For as long as I live.

"And this lover girl list is being created so I can find my best friend a serious girlfriend," Ella explains, patting my chest. "He needs someone to spend his money on. He's too rich and lonely."

I shake my head, unlocking the door and pushing it open. "I'm not lonely. I never said I was lonely."

Ledger shakes his head, clapping my shoulder. "Oooh, I disagree Auggie. A serious girlfriend is just what you need." He offers his hand to Ella next. "Hi. I'm Ledger."

"Hi Ledger. I'm Ella."

"Ella, I'm Oliver…or Oli, whichever you prefer." Oliver adds gesturing to Cunningham on his left. "And this is Barrett, but we all call him Bear." They both shake her hand. "And I think you're right. We should absolutely help you find the right girl for our friend Auggie. Good thing we showed up when we did, huh?" The fucker has the audacity to wink at me when I glance back at him.

"Great! It's settled." Ella claps her hands like a giddy teenager. "Come on in, guys. Make yourselves at home."

We stop just inside the apartment letting the guys move past us and then Ella rounds on me and in an excited whisper says, "Okay, first of all, oh, my God! You cleaned the apartment and I told you that you didn't have to do that. I promised I would do it when I got home. And secondly," she lays her hands on my chest and the contact alone makes me feel oddly fuzzy inside. "This is okay, right? We're just having some fun and I really want to get to know the guys." She leans in closer. "I really want them to like me."

The slightest bit of trepidation in her eyes melts me.

Fuck, I would give anything to make that look in her eyes disappear. I'd lasso the fucking moon if she asked me to.

"Yeah, babe. We're good. And stop worrying. They're going to love you."

She pats my chest twice more and then kisses my cheek. "Thank you. Come on," she says, taking my hand. "This will be fun."

For her.

It'll be fun for her.

For me?

It'll be pure torture.

"Mmm! Smells good in here, Auggie," Griffin states as he walks toward the kitchen. "Did you make cinnamon rolls?"

"Dude, she's helping you find a girlfriend?" Ledger asks on one side of me when Ella leaves the room to grab her notebook and pen.

"Don't ask."

"You better tell us quick," Griffin adds from the other side of me. "Are we describing some random woman you've fucked before or are we describing her?"

My head snaps to Griffin. "What?"

"You heard me."

"Why would you describe her?"

Griffin's lips form a wide grin. "You're cute, Blackstone."

I shrug. "What?"

He leans a little closer to my ear. "First of all, look at her. It's no wonder you've kept her to yourself all these years. She's hot as fuck and any one of us would easily drool over her but?—"

"Shut it, Griff." My face heats at the mere mention of any one of them putting the moves on Ella.

"But," he continues, lifting a finger and making me pause, "she chose you. She loves you. She's living with you."

"I told you it's not like that with us though. It doesn't mean anything," I quietly spit back at him.

He looks me in the eye and then smiles as Ledger pats my leg. "Mmkay. You keep telling yourself that big guy."

I hear what Griffin's saying but until today—right this second—I've been able to deny all feelings of attraction toward my best friend because she's just that. My best friend. I can't allow myself to think about her in any other way because it just wouldn't work. Sure, she's unfairly attractive with a personality that would rival anyone's. She's kind, compassionate, and has a spirit I've always appreciated.

But she's Ella.

She's my best friend.

My person.

There's nothing I wouldn't do for her.

And that includes ruining the relationship we have had for our entire lives just because I find her attractive.

"Hey Ella, congratulations on the new job," Griffin tells her when she pops back out of her room. "We can't wait to support you in the Mascot Tournament this year."

She stops dead in her tracks, her eyes widening. "Mascot Tournament?"

"Yeah." He nods. "Nobody told you about the Mascot Tournament? It's a huge fundraiser event."

Ella shakes her head and glances at me with trepidation. "What's the Mascot Tournament? Should I be scared?"

I give her a confident shake of my head and explain, "Nah, it's just a fun event with a bunch of mascots from our conference. They do a skills competition on the ice for the fans and they play a short hockey game and then there are picture opportunities and all the fun stuff the fans like."

"Yeah." Harrison nods, adding, "It's a fun day. And it's for a great cause. The proceeds go to St. Jude so, you know, it's for the kids."

I can see Ella's heart melting already. "Aww," she says, bringing her hand to her chest. "That sounds wonderful. I can't wait to do my part."

"I bet you could do a number on those other mascots," Ledger tells her.

Ella flexes her arm, showing off her muscles. "Bring it on. I'll invite them all to my gun show."

The guys whistle and laugh and Oliver says, "That's right you will. And we'll be there to support you one hundred percent. We're hosting this year, so you'll want to be on your game for sure."

"I hope you'll all train me first!" Ella laughs. "I'm good on the ice, but Auggie's the hockey player. Not me."

"You'll be great, El," I tell her. "Don't worry. We're not going to let you fail. We'll make sure you're ready."

"Phew!" She wipes her brow with the back of her hand. "Good. Alright then." She holds up the notebook and pen in her hand. "So, let's get this ball rolling, shall we?" Ella walks through the group of us seated around the living room and finds an open spot on the floor. "We're all here to help Auggie find the love of his life."

I'm doing this for her.

I'm doing this for her.

I'm doing this for her.

"Wait," Bear says, holding up his hand. "Before you start, I'm going to need you to tell us an Auggie story. Something about him none of us would know."

I shake my head. "That is totally unnecces?—"

"Oh, that's easy," she says, smiling. "Did he tell you about the day he thought there was a badger in the bushes behind his house and told me to run for it while he stood there and peed all over his yard because he heard from some older kid that the smell of urine would deter angry animals?"

The guys all burst out laughing as I lower my forehead to my palm. "Okay in my defense I was like eight or nine years old and heard it from someone on the bus."

"The visual," Harrison says as his body shakes with laughter. "It's the visual for me."

"Or that time when he took several of his fish out of their tanks and walked them around the house in his hand," Ella continues. "Because he wanted to give them a tour of the rooms they couldn't see from their tank. Poor fish, by the time the tour ended they were dead."

More laughter from the guys.

Ella's brows shoot up. "Oooh wait! Wait! This one is a doozy! When we were like, six or seven Auggie was hanging out at my house and we found a used condom in my parents' bathroom and didn't know what it was so Auggie put it on his foot like a sock."

Cue even more laughter.

"Neither of us had any idea what it really was at the time. I don't think we figured it out until we were teenagers!"

"Oh my God!" Ledger wheezes. "This is too good!"

"Bet you had the softest feet in the whole damn world that day," Oliver cackles.

"Damn right I did," I tell him. "And I was pissed there wasn't one for my other foot."

That comment earns another round of straight up belly laughs from everyone in the room. After a few minutes of continued laughter pass, Ella looks at the guys and clicks the tip of her pen.

"Alright, gentlemen, let's dive into this list, shall we? Describe for me the type of girl Auggie seems to find the most attractive."

"Oh, that's easy," Oliver says, crossing his arms. "He likes blondes."

I huff a quiet laugh but Griffin shakes his head and speaks up. "No, I don't think so."

"Of course he does." Oliver smiles. "Remember the last two girls he fu?—"

"Nah, I'm pretty sure he really prefers brunettes," Ledger argues on my behalf.

Ella peers up at me, pen at the ready. "Well, which is it, Auggie? Blondes or brunettes?"

Oliver is right. Up until now I've always gone for the blondes. The last four or five women I've fucked after a game were all blondes. Box blondes or not, they were still blonde, but now…

I study Ella's soft brown hair for a minute. What was hanging down in a cute but messy bedhead this morning is now tied up in a messy bun on the top of her head. Still just as beautiful either way she wears it. "Definitely brunettes." I swallow the lump in my throat as I watch her take notes.

I feel the guys look my way but I ignore them and remain focused on Ella.

"Okay," she says, finishing whatever it is she was writing. "How about size? Tall? Short? Skinny? Curvy?"

I twist my mouth as if I'm thinking about it, but Griffin beats me to an answer. "Ella can you stand up for a minute? I need something to compare to."

"Sure." She stands and holds her hands out like she's on display and Griffin nods. "Yeah. Probably someone built kind of like you. Not too tall but not too short. Curves in all the right places. Not too much of a skinny rail."

Ella wouldn't be a skinny rail at all.

She'd be a perfect rail.

Fuck, I can't believe I just thought about railing my roommate.

Blackstone, what is wrong with you?

"Perfect." She scribbles a few more things on her notepad.

"He likes tits over ass," Bear mumbles.

"Oh, he does?" Ella asks even though I know she already knows this about me. We may not have always talked about every detail of our sexual experiences during our Tuesday night chats, but she knows enough about my preferences to know I appreciate a nice pair of tits.

Like the way hers looked in that black lace bra she was wearing this morning.

"Mhmm." Bear nods. "If you've got tits, I can guarantee you he's looked at 'em."

"And so has every last one of you in here," I add in my defense.

"To be fair," Ella says, "he didn't want to look at mine this morning."

Harrison nearly spits out the beer I gave him earlier. "I'm sorry, WHAT?"

Griffin turns his head toward me. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What?" I ask, eyes bulging.

"Dude," he gestures to Ella seated on the floor, "a beautiful girl shows you her tits and you refuse to look at them?" He holds his wrist up to my forehead. "Are you ill? Or just plain stupid?"

I flail my arm in her direction. "She…she waltzed into the kitchen this morning with no clothes on. I was trying to be a fucking gentleman!"

"I was nervous as hell and needed your help Auggie!" Ella explains.

Ledger scoffs beside me. "Yeah, Auggie, the fucking hot girl with no clothes on needed your help." He slaps me upside the head. "What were you thinking?"

"I was just trying to be nice and really, I was more concerned about the number of cinnamon rolls in my kitchen. Besides, it's not like her tits were going to turn me on anyway. They're Ella's tits. She's not some smoking hot puck bunny. She's just Ella."

Smiles fade on the faces around me and the energy in the room shifts. A few of the guys sit back in their chairs, trying to look anywhere but at me or Ella who has stopped writing in her notebook; her head bowed as she silently nods to herself. It feels like all the air has been sucked out of the room. I toss a glance to Griffin who winces and whispers, "Dude…"

I don't understand.

What just happened?

I turn my glance at my best friend assuming she'll back me up but her smile is gone too.

"Ella…"

She doesn't make eye contact at all.

Fuck.

What did I say?

They're Ella's tits. She's not some smoking hot puck bunny. She's just Ella.

Fuck!

"Ella that's not what?—"

"You know, on second thought, I'm getting pretty tired," she says in a pained mumble. She finally lifts her head and I swear to God my heart tumbles into my stomach. It's like I've been sucker punched in the gut. Her red-rimmed eyes glance quickly around the room. She tries to smile and I know without a doubt she's trying as hard as she can to not cry.

Fucking fuck!

Her voice trembles slightly, giving her away. "It's been a long day and if you guys don't mind, I think I'll just uh…" I watch a tear slip down her cheek.

Fuck fucking fuck!

I start to get up from the couch to get to her but she springs up from the floor, stepping away before I can get there. "It was nice meeting you guys. If you'll excuse me."

"Ella, wait!"

Griffin nudges my leg and when I look down at him he's shaking his head. I watch in shock as my best friend retreats to her room and shuts the door and then I take a step to go after her but he stops me. "Let her go."

"But—"

"She needs a minute, August."

"But I didn't mean it the way it came out."

Bear frowns. "Yeah, but that's how it came out."

Thank you, Bear, for stating the obvious.

Plopping back down on the couch, I lean on my knees and hold my head in my hands. "What the fuck have I done?"

Ledger pats me on the back. "Well son, you basically told her that her tits aren't pretty and she's not nearly as attractive as the nameless women you fuck on the daily because she's just…Ella."

"But I meant?—"

"Doesn't matter what you mean, August," Oliver explains softly. "It's what you said and the way you said it."

"Yeah, man." Griffin nods. "We know what you meant. But she one hundred percent didn't hear it that way."

"Fuuuuuck. What am I supposed to do now?"

"Let me ask you something. Because honestly I'm curious."

"Okay."

"This morning when she came out into the kitchen, the bra and panties…did they match?"

My head snaps to Griffin again. "Seriously Griff? I just insulted my best friend and you want to know if her underwear matched?"

His face remains stoic as he nods again. "Yes. Did it?"

I think back to what she had on. "Yeah. Black lacey bra and matching panties."

Griffin tosses a glance at Harrison and Oliver who both nod in agreement.

"What?" I ask, exasperated. "What they fuck does the color of her underwear have to do with anything?"

"It's not the color, August," Harrison explains. "It's that they matched. She wanted you to see them."

I roll my eyes at their ridiculousness. "What are you guys even talking about?"

"August, trust me when I say this," Oliver whispers, "girls don't usually care about matching their undergarments unless they want someone to notice."

"She said they made her feel pretty."

"Right." He nods. "And she wanted you to see them."

I shake my head. "That's insane. I've told you guys a hundred times Ella and I aren't like that. There's nothing there between us. There never has been and?—"

Griffin raises his finger to stop me. "Don't say there never will be because from the look on her face just now, one of you doesn't have the same feelings as the other."

I fall back against the couch cushion completely flabbergasted at what the guys are trying to tell me.

"How can this be? She's never…

"We've never…

"We've always just…"

My shoulders fall as I release an overwhelming sigh. "Guys, tell me what to do. Should I go in there?"

Ledger shrugs. "Give her some time and then maybe check on her. We'll get out of here in case she needs to cry it out so she's not embarrassed."

"But at some point," Bear stands from his chair, "you'll have to get your shit together and figure out your feelings."

My brows remain furrowed as I say goodbye to the guys and lock the door behind them. I turn, staring at the living room, replaying the last twenty minutes in my mind about a thousand times, and experiencing the clusterfuck of emotions I did not see coming over and over again. I have no clue how I should manage this situation. I stand in front of Ella's door for what feels like hours trying to come up with the right words to say because I want to apologize but everything I consider saying sounds lame and stupid. Eventually I muster up the courage to knock softly on her door.

"Ella? You awake?"

She doesn't answer me. Instead of knocking again and risk waking her, I lay my palm against her door and then rest my forehead there as well, closing my eyes and inhaling a steady breath.

"I'm sorry, Ella," I whisper against the white wood. "I'm so fucking sorry."