25. August

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

AUGUST

T he sting of alcohol no longer bothers me.

It slides down my throat like ice water on a sweltering day.

There's nothing in my brain anymore.

No thoughts.

No emotions.

Not a fucking care in the world.

I'm right where I want to be.

I know at some point I'll fall asleep and when I wake up, this night will be a blur that will begin to refocus. I know I'll have to deal with the pain and the emotions of earlier at some point but at least I know I get this night to myself. To not think. To not feel. To not give a shit about anyone but myself.

I toss down another shot of tequila and gesture for another.

"You sure, August?"

I don't even have to use my words to answer the man behind the bar. I merely raise my eyes from my glass to his face and he nods in response, filling my shot glass to the brim.

"Rough night?" a voice says next to me.

A voice of the female variety.

"You could say that."

"Me too," she says. Not that I care at all. I don't even glance her way.

"Did your girlfriend betray you too?" I ask her.

She tosses back her drink and then lands her shot glass on the bar. "I walked into my house after a late work meeting to find my husband's dick deep down another woman's throat in the middle of my living room."

Fuck.

I almost laugh.

"Sucks."

"Yep," she says. "She was definitely sucking. Looked like she was sucking his brains out right through his cock."

"Why do the good people in the world get treated like shit?" I ask aloud. "Why do the bad things never happen to the bad people?"

"God, if I had the answer to that question…I've asked myself the same thing more times than I can count."

Tossing back my filled glass, I finally turn my head to look at the woman talking to me. Mahogany brown hair. Oval face. Blue eyes. A little too much lipstick but otherwise she's mildly pretty and doesn't smell like cheap perfume.

She doesn't smell like anything at all.

"I would've taken care of her, you know?" I blurt out, slurring my speech a little. "I would've given her the goddamn world but she decided to sleep with…"

The woman lays her hand on my knee and gives me a sympathetic glance. "Who did she sleep with? You brother?"

"No. I don't have a brother. She picked the one man she knew would hurt me the most."

"I'm sorry she did that to you."

I shrug. "Her choice. I'm done."

"Yeah. I know that feeling." She slides her hand a little farther up my thigh and I jump out of my seat.

"I gotta take a piss."

I climb off my stool and stumble my way to the bathroom and when I come out, the woman I was talking to is waiting for me in the hallway. She corners me and smooths her hands down my chest.

And I don't hate it.

"You want to get out of here? With me?" she boldly asks, placing a kiss on my cheek.

When I don't push her away she moves in and kisses my lips. She tastes of tequila, but maybe I'm just tasting myself as my tongue sweeps through her mouth. Having no thoughts or cares about anything might be just what I need tonight. I have a woman who clearly just wants to get fucked and if I'm being honest with myself, I wouldn't mind getting lost in a wet and willing pussy for the rest of the night. This is how I lived my life before Ella came to town. No reason now why I can't go back to that. I take her by the hand and tell her, "My car is out back."

She smiles and nods and I start to lead us to the door.

"Hey Blackstone?" It's a voice I think I recognize, but when I turn to see who's talking to me all I see is a fist before my world goes black.

___

My head is pounding.

What the fuck is going on?

Where the hell am I?

And how did I get here?

I try to open my eyes but can only easily open one. The other feels as though it's swollen shut, but when I look up I find five other pairs of eyes glaring at me.

Griffin, Ledger, Oliver, Bear, and Harrison are all standing over me with their arms folded across their chests.

"What the fuck are you guys doing here?" I murmur, my voice full of rasp and the pain thumping through my head with every word I say.

"They're with me, dipshit," Griffin says irritated. "You're in my living room."

What am I…

"Why am I here?"

"Do you not remember a damn thing about last night?"

"Not particularly. Why is my eye not opening?" I bring my hand to my face to feel what's going on and wince in pain when my fingers make contact with my left eye.

Griffin scoffs. "Because I had to punch you in the damn face to make sure you didn't make a huge mistake last night."

I frown. "What are you even talk?—"

Ella.

Furbling.

The shouting.

The bar.

Tequila.

The mystery woman.

Kissing.

"Oh."

"Yeah, oh," Griffin snarls. "What the fuck were you thinking, man? You're better than that."

"Am I?"

"Griffin told us what happened, August," Oliver starts. "So, we're going to need to talk this out because you're about to mess up your whole fucking life over one man."

I lift my arm and hold up my finger. "Correction. One woman."

"Forget about Ella for a minute. We'll get to her."

"No need." I shake my hand. "I'm done."

Bear laughs. "Dude, you're so far from done. Shut the fuck up and listen."

My cell phone buzzes on the table and Harrison picks it up to answer it.

"What the hell? That's my phone."

"Tom?" Harrison says.

Tom? What's my agent calling for?

"Yeah he's awake…No we're about to find out…yeah…yeah I think so…I'll keep you posted…yeah whatever the cost. Just work it out…yeah. Thanks Tom." Harrison pockets my phone not giving a care in the world that I'm giving him the stink eye.

"What was all that about?" I ask him.

"It was about the assault charges Jeff Furbling is ready to press against you. We've also been in touch with Coach Hicks and Mike Exling."

"The general manager of the team? What for?"

"Because they're questioning if they should even be keeping you on after the stunt you pulled yesterday."

"That wasn't a fucking stunt," I tell them. "That was pure?—"

"Anger," Oliver says, nodding. "Yeah we get it. So shut up and listen because we're not about to let you walk away from this."

"Ella told us all about Furbling. She told us what happened all those years ago and she told us that playing the Gators eats at you every single fucking season," Ledger says, shaking his head. "Dude, why did you never say anything? We could have protected you."

"I don't need your protection. And what's there to fucking say?" I ask, trying to sit up. The emptiness in my stomach isn't helping the nausea or the headache. "I ruined a man's life and now he hates me for it so every time we play his old team I feel bad about it?"

"Yeah, dumbass." Bear nods. "That's exactly what you say."

"And why are you talking to Ella anyway? I told you we're over. She slept with the asshole."

"Okay first of all, we're not going to let you say a damn bad thing about Ella."

I whip my face toward Harrison and almost black out when the room spins. "What the hell?"

"She hasn't done a damn thing to you and you know it, August. You're just butt-hurt that she supposedly slept with someone you don't like, but guess what? Her life is and never was yours to control. If you didn't want her to sleep with anyone, you should've fucking nutted up and told her how you felt years ago. That was your first mistake. Secondly, you really need to take some time to talk to her because from what she says, that night did not go the way you perceived."

What the fuck?

Why are they suddenly on her side?

"But she?—"

"Didn't get a word in edgewise because you never gave her the chance before you fucking walked out on her, Auggie ." Griffin enunciates my nickname with a piercing stare. "You accused her of your worst fears, threw your hands up, and walked away."

He's right.

That's exactly what I did.

I was just so angry.

And hurt.

Devastated is more like it.

"You guys, I can't look at her or even…think about her without seeing him. Picturing them together. Picturing him fucking her. I can't."

"For the love of mother fucking Christ, August," Oliver blurts out. "She didn't fuck him, alright? They didn't fuck!"

My brows furrow. "What?"

He throws up his arms in frustration. "This is why communication is key, man! She didn't fuck him because he was too drunk to get it up."

Wait.

They didn't…

"But…but the pictures…"

"She passed out drunk! She had no idea the pictures were taken, you stupid ass fuck nut!" Griffin tosses me a water bottle. "We all learned this over the past twelve hours while you've been passed out on this couch. Now would you please drink this so you can help your fucking hangover enough to be coherent? For Christ's sake talking to you is like trying to skate on cement."

I sit up and drink down the entire bottle in one sitting and then wipe my mouth with the back of my hand. "So, you're telling me she didn't sleep with Furbling?"

"Yes!" Ledger nods.

"And she didn't know those pictures were taken?"

"Correct!" He nods again.

Fuck.

"Are there more of them out there?" My brows shoot up and I slide my hands through my hair realizing just how greasy and dirty it is after not showering last night. "There could be any number of pictures of her body out there on the internet."

"Exactly." Ledger nods one more time. "And that's what you should have been thinking about last night instead of letting your fucking ego get in the way."

"Dude," Griffin says, taking the seat next to me on his couch. "You very nearly walked out of that bar with that woman last night. You would've thrown everything between you and Ella away over some tramp who was feeding you line after line just to get to your dick. Had I not been there…"

"How were you there, by the way? Why were you there?"

He cocks his head and gives me an incredulous look. "You didn't think I was going to let you drive out of the arena and spend a night drinking yourself into oblivion without keeping an eye on you did you?"

"But…"

"I followed you dumbass. I grabbed my clothes and shoes from my locker and ran to the garage in my uniform. Most uncomfortable drive of my life but that's what friends are for. Once I saw you walk into the bar I knew I needed to give you a few minutes' worth of shots so I was able to change my clothes at least. You never saw me walk in and I was only sitting a table away. I heard everything. You were going to sleep with that woman."

"But…I was drunk." I shake my head. "I didn't mean?—"

"Yeah, just like Ella didn't mean it seven years ago?"

Shit.

"You're right." I hang my head. "You're absolutely right."

"Yeah, I know I am."

"I've made such a mess of things?"

"A little bit, bro. Yeah."

"How am I supposed to get her to talk to me about any of this after all I've done?"

Griffin pats my leg and gives me a half smile. "You start by going to get a shower because you smell like shit." He leans a little closer and adds, "I left my favorite pajama pants and t-shirt for you in the bathroom."