Chapter Twelve

Stephanie paused by the gate and looked at the place she'd once called home.

It looked just the same as it always had. The garden was neat, but that was mostly because it consisted of just a few trees and bushes. There were no flower beds and the earth was far too dry for lawn. It had been like that when she lived there too. Neither she nor Ed were gardeners. The house itself was the same cream colour it had always been, although it did look newly painted.

She had run away from here a long time ago, looking for something better than a shabby house in a one horse town. Better than the man who lived here. She'd found it too. For a while. But things didn't always work out the way you planned, and now she was back. She wasn't sure what she'd expected. She wasn't going to think too hard about that. She'd always done what she had to do. This was no different.

She couldn't stand in the semi-darkness forever. She was here to talk to her son. And spend time with her husband, in what had once been their home. Her hand shook as she reached for the gate. What if the house was still the same as all those years ago? What if it wasn't? How would she feel if Scott rejected her? Even more importantly, what would she do if Ed rejected her?

Stephanie took a firm grip on herself and swung the gate open and stepped through. Shutting the gate firmly behind her, she hesitated. Should she go to the front door or to the back? When she lived here, the whole family had used the back door all the time. It led straight into the big kitchen that was the centre of their lives. But she was a visitor now – not quite a stranger – but very close. She probably should use the front door. The door used by people who were not family. Except … she was family. She was Ed's wife. Still.

Moments later the weighty decision was taken from her. Ed appeared on the path that led to the back of the house.

‘Hello, Steph. Come on through.' He turned away and walked towards the back of the house, leaving her to follow.

Stephanie felt an unexpected surge of emotion as she climbed the steps that she'd climbed so many times before. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She was supposed to be in control. She stopped in the doorway, still a tiny bit hesitant to walk into the kitchen. It was the same – but different. The cupboards were the same, the fridge in the same place. But it was a different fridge and the cupboards had new-looking polished pine doors.

She felt like an intruder. That was unexpected. And unsettling.

A large tabby cat strolled into the kitchen and stopped when he saw Stephanie. He glared at her for a few moments, his back arched as his tail fluffed out. The he hissed at her.

‘Bill!' Ed admonished. ‘Sorry about that. He's not used to strangers. And it's time for his dinner.'

Ed gave the tabby a brief pat, and pulled a can of cat food out of the fridge.

‘How long have you had him?' Steph asked, just to break the silence.

‘Almost a year,' Ed said as he put the bowl on the floor.

‘I never knew you were a cat person,' Steph said.

Ed turned to face her. ‘There is a lot about me you don't know, Steph. Not anymore.'

Such tough words. She deserved them, but she had to get past them if this journey wasn't to be wasted.

‘The computer is through here. I told Scott to be online about now. But I haven't looked to see if he's there yet.'

There was very little about the living room that was familiar. The furniture was all new. Many years ago, as a new bride, she had painted this room a rich red. Now it was a pale grey. She had to admit, it was a better choice. She didn't particularly like the furniture though. The leather couch and armchairs were too masculine for her taste. But then again, her taste didn't matter. Not now.

A laptop computer sat open on the coffee table, the screen glowing faintly. A power cable ran across to the wall. Ed sat in the armchair, leaving the couch to Steph. She crossed the room and sat down, while Ed avoided looking at her, and fiddled with the computer.

‘Hi, Dad.'

The voice wasn't familiar. It was partly due to the distortion from the computer, but Steph knew that wasn't the reason. She had left a boy behind. This was a man talking. From where she sat, she couldn't see the screen.

‘Hi, Scott,' Ed said.

‘Is she there?' the faceless voice asked.

‘Yes. She's right here. Hang on. I'll put her on.'

Without another word, Ed slid the computer across the table, turning it as he did. The screen slowly came into view. Steph's breath caught in her throat as she looked at the handsome face staring out of the screen. The quality of the image was so good he could almost have been in the room with her. She could see the deep brown of his eyes and the way his hair fell across his forehead. His shoulders were broad under the T-shirt and jumper he wore.

Her son was a grown man.

Stephanie sat looking at him, totally lost for words.

She wasn't the only one. The face on the screen stared back at her, and for a very long time there was silence.

‘Hello, Mum.'

The tears pricking her eyes were almost painful.

‘Hello, Scott.' The face in front of her blurred as the tears began streaming down her cheeks. ‘I am so grateful for the chance to talk to you, Scott. To tell you how sorry I am for what I did.'

‘You know, Mum, as soon as I was old enough, I searched for you. For a long time. I couldn't find you.'

‘I'm—'

‘But,' her son cut her off, ‘I stopped after a while. It wasn't just because I couldn't find you. I had come to hate you. I decided I didn't want to ever see you again.'

The words cut into her heart like a cold steel blade. Her shoulders sagged and she felt despair take hold of her heart …

‘I cut myself off from Dad too. Because of the past. I blamed him for so much. I heard the rumours about his affair. He didn't deny it. I ran away as soon as I was able, because I hated Dad for breaking up your marriage. For destroying our family.'

Stephanie's breath caught at the back of her throat. She looked at Ed, but his face was turned away. Why had he done that? she wondered. Why take the blame for something that she had done? Maybe she had a chance here to show some honesty. That might help both Scott and his father to forgive her.

‘Scott, it wasn't your father's fault. It was me. I was the one who—'

‘I know that, now,' Scott interrupted her. ‘When I finally came back to the Creek, Dad and I were finally honest with each other. I learned a few truths about him. About myself. And about you. I know why you left, Mum.'

‘I …' Hope began to fade. It would do no good saying she had been young and foolish, and bored by life in a small town. That she'd wanted one last chance for adventure, and taken it with a man who was not her husband. Scott was not going to forgive her. It was clear he and his father had formed a close bond, despite their years apart. If Scott wasn't willing to forgive her, she would have no chance of winning Ed back.

‘Scott,' she said slowly. ‘I made a mistake. I realise now how wrong I was to leave you. And your father. I wish I could take it back. But I can't. I just hope you will give me a second chance. I might not deserve it, but …' She let her voice trail off, very conscious that Ed was sitting next to her. Listening to her every word. She wanted her son to believe her, but even more than that, she wanted Ed to believe her. To forgive her.

‘Dad and I had some dark times, Mum. It took a while, but we got past it. I want to believe that you and I can get past it too.'

‘Oh, Scott …' She blinked and a few tears ran down her face. ‘I hope so, Scott. I really hope so. I want you to know that I never stopped thinking about you. Or your father. I realised very quickly that I had made a mistake. I was just too ashamed to come back.'

As she spoke, Ed got to his feet and left the room. Stephanie wanted to follow, but Scott was talking again. She smiled and tried to concentrate on his words, while wiping the occasional tear away from the corner of her eye.

In the kitchen, Ed reached into the fridge for a cold drink then leaned back against the wall. He wasn't eavesdropping as such, but he could easily hear the conversation between Steph and Scott.

He was glad he'd told Scott that Steph had returned, and glad that he'd helped the two of them reconnect. It was up to them now. Or, more likely, up to Scott. He could make his own decisions.

Just as Ed had to make his. Another envelope had arrived today from his solicitors. More paperwork that had accidentally been missed in the previous letter. Getting divorced was a complex procedure, as it should be. Marriage vows were something that should not lightly be tossed away.

He stepped to the doorway and looked through into the living room. Steph was leaning forward, smiling through her tears as Scott talked. She was no longer the pretty girl he had fallen in love with. Nor was she the woman who had been unfaithful to him and broken his heart. The years had taken their toll on Steph, just as they had on him. But she was still a good looking woman. Just then, Steph laughed at something Scott said. That laugh had not changed. It was as familiar to Ed as his own.

Something stirred in his heart and he turned away and stepped back into the kitchen.

He had some decisions to make. In a few weeks he would have to present himself at the court hearing that would dissolve his marriage. Was that what he really wanted? Ed was a serious man. When he took his wedding vows, he had meant them. And in all the years since Steph left; all the years he had been alone – he'd never fallen in love again. Not really. He'd become too bitter and too caught up in his own misery. He'd never even considered that he might fall for someone else. Not until Helen had looked up at him with those kingfisher blue eyes.

Helen.

He smiled gently to himself as he pictured her face, but the smile faded quickly as he thought of the expression on that face when she found out about Steph. She probably thought Ed was a liar and a cheat. He wasn't, but he was a man who wanted … needed to get his life back. He was sick of being alone. He wasn't young any more, but he wasn't old either. Since his reunion with Scott, he had started to enjoy life again. It wasn't wrong of him to want to share that life with someone.

Helen was off wedding shopping with her daughter. He wished she was here so he could explain that this situation wasn't of his making. Explain that he was just as confused as she was.

‘Thank you, Ed.'

He put the glass down as Steph approached. Her cheeks were tear-stained, but her face was glowing and he could see a hint of the girl he had married all those years ago. Without a moment's thought or hesitation, she stepped up to him and laid her head against his chest.

‘Thank you,' she said again, very softly. ‘I cannot begin to tell you what that meant to me.'

He reached up to take her shoulders, and as he did, she raised her face to him. Then she raised herself up on her toes, as she had done so many times in the past, and kissed him.