Chapter 26

26

T illie barely had any sleep last night. Thoughts of Anne and what was revealed in the journal swam through her mind. All this time, Aidan had been feeling guilty, thinking he was responsible for her death, and it was not so. Anne had been happy and had gone to see the wildcat. She had to have slipped and fallen over the edge. It was tragic, yes, but it wasn't intentional.

She got out of bed and performed her morning toiletries. She couldn't wait for Aidan to get home so that she could tell him what she'd learned. Hopefully he would feel relieved. Hopefully he would do away with his guilt and start to live again.

The revelation also gave her hope for her own marriage. If Aidan wasn't burdened with his late wife's death, then maybe he'd allow himself to feel something for her.

"Yer up bright and early," Paisley said as she entered the bed chamber. "Excited to see yer husband, are ye?" The teasing smile on her face had Tillie smiling too. Yes, she was looking forward to seeing Aidan but not for the reasons Paisley thought.

Tillie wanted so badly to tell Paisley about the journal, but she felt it would be a betrayal to tell someone else before revealing it to Aidan or even Grace. She bit her tongue until there was pain, and that helped to curve the impulse to gossip about Anne's journal.

"I couldnae sleep last night." There, that was the truth at least. "And there's a lot to do before the Laird returns."

Paisley nodded, a little smile still hovering around the corner of her mouth. "If ye say so."

"I'm goin' to take a walk to the cliff this mornin'."

The smile on Paisley's mouth drew down into a deep, worried frown. "Me Lady, nay! The Laird himself told ye to stay away from there."

"I ken, but 'tis somethin' I have to do. I willnae be gone long, and I will not stray too close to the edge. Ye have my word."

"I dinnae like it," Paisley grumbled. "Mayhap ye should take a guard or two with ye."

Tillie shook her head. "'Tis somethin' I need to do on my own. But dinnae worry, Paisley, I am aware of the danger."

A few minutes later, Tillie was dressed an on her way to the cliff, despite Paisley's objections. She couldn't explain why she needed to go to the site of Anne's death, at least not out loud. But for some reason, she needed to see if the wildcat who Anne had become so fond of was there. Had the mewing she'd heard been one of the wildcat's cubs?

The air was cool this morning, and frost covered the ground and hung from tree limbs. Her sturdy boots made light crunching sounds as she walked, blending in with the morning bird calls.

Tillie reached the cliff and then paused to look at the scenery. "Och, 'tis bonnie," she breathed looking out at the sea. Seagulls sailed over the water, looking to catch something to break their fast. The sound of the waves hitting against the rocks far below was loud but comforting. The white caps on the waves rolling in were frothy.

She carefully stepped toward the edge, wiggling each foot she put down to make sure the ground was stable. She wasn't sure how Anne had fallen and didn't want to make the same mistake.

At first, Tillie didn't see anything when she peaked over the edge. Nothing but a long, dizzyingly drop, that is. But then a movement caught her eye, and she spotted the wildcat and its young on a ledge several feet below. It looked up at her, its golden eyes wary but curious.

"There ye are," Tillie said softly. The wind caught her words and carried them over the cliff. "And ye have babies. Anne would have loved to meet yer bairns."

It probably would have been a bittersweet moment, though, since Anne had been so depressed because she couldn't have any bairns of her own, but Tillie thought it would have made her happy to see her friend have a family.

From this angle, it was hard to tell, but Tillie thought there was a cave off that ledge where the wildcat made her home. There was no other explanation for why she was always on the ledge.

"I ken ye probably miss Anne and dinnae understand why she doesnae come to see ye anymore," Tillie said, looking down at the wildcat. One of the bairns was nestled up in a fury ball next to her left leg while the other was play attacking her right leg. She stayed perfectly still and just stared at Tillie.

"She didnae leave ye on purpose," Tillie continued. "But I promise to continue those visits since she cannae." She reached into the folds of her dress and withdrew a large chunk of meat then carefully tossed it down. "I will bring more later, but for now, make sure your bairns are fed."

With a smile on her face, Tillie returned to the castle. This was something Anne would have wanted. She would want the wildcat who had, at times, been her only friend to be taken care of, and Tillie wanted to honor her in that way.

Paisley was waiting for her in Tillie's bedchamber. When Tillie opened the door, Paisley rushed to her, her expression full of relief.

"Oh, thank the Lord ye have returned safely," Paisley gushed.

Tillie laughed. "I wasnae gone that long, Paisley. Please help me change into a more suitable gown to meet the Laird when he returns."

Paisley nodded and rushed to find a gown while Tillie quickly disrobed. "Mistress Grace was lookin' for ye."

Tillie started. Grace was the last person she'd expect to voluntarily seek her out. "Did she say why?"

Paisley shook her head as she quickly and efficiently styled Tillie's hair. "Nay. She just asked me to deliver ye the message that she wanted to talk to ye."

A shiver of apprehension slithered down Tillie's spine, but she quickly pushed it aside. Just because Grace had not been a friendly person in the past, ever since Tillie had threatened her with banishment from the castle, the woman had not sought her out. She hadn't been exactly friendly, but there hadn't been any more problems.

With a long sigh, Tillie nodded. "I will seek her out once we are through here."

Paisley stood back and clasped her hands in front of her waist. "'Tis finished," she said with an appreciative nod. "Yer husband will be pleased."

Aye, he will be pleased but not because of what I'm wearing. He'll be relieved to ken, his wife didnae take her own life.

"I guess I should go see what Grace wants," Tillie said. She wanted to get that anxiety off her chest before Aidan got home.

"Doubt 'tis anythin' pleasant with that one," Paisley said with a distasteful frown.

So did Tillie, but it would only be worse the longer she waited. With a long-suffering sigh, she left the chamber and went in search of Grace. She didn't have to search long. As she suspected, Grace was in her bedchamber. The woman rarely left her quarters except for meals and some walking exercise in the morning.

Tillie straightened her skirts and nervously patted her hair to make sure everything was in place then knocked on the door. Grace must have been waiting for her because the door was opened before Tillie had even finished knocking.

"Thank ye for comin'," Grace said. What passed her expression couldn't really be considered a smile on anyone else's face, but Tillie supposed it was the best the other woman could do.

"Paisley told me ye wanted to talk to me?"

Grace nodded and stepped aside, holding the door wider for Tillie to enter. She hesitated for two heartbeats then reluctantly went inside. She'd never seen Grace's chamber before, but she wasn't surprised at how stark and unwelcoming it was. There was just a small bed in the middle of the room, one chair in front of the hearth that was a silent warning that no one was welcomed there, a dressing table, and a closet for her clothes.

"I've had tea made," Grace said. Her voice was a bit rough, as if she wasn't used to using it.

Tillie raised her eyebrows in surprise. "Thank ye."

Grace nodded and led her toward the hearth then dragged a stool out from a corner and set it across from Tillie. After perching on the uncomfortable-looking piece of furniture, she gestured to Tillie to take the slightly less-uncomfortable chair. A small table stood between them with a pot of hot tea and two delicate teacups.

"I hope ye dinnae mind, but I had cook heat some of my special tea I save for special occasions. It came all the way from France."

Tillie was surprised, and her expression showed it as her eyebrows climbed her brow. "That sounds… lovely."

Grace poured them both a cup of tea. Tillie stared at the steam for a minute before looking back at the other woman.

Grace actually seemed to blush if the twin spots of color that rode high on her cheekbones meant anything.

"I've had some time to think since… well, since ye rightly put me in me place," Grace began. "Ye were correct. I shouldnae be tryin' to control yer husband's life." She stopped and frowned slightly before she continued. "I still dinnae approve of how Aidan dealt with me sister, but I ken it wasnae intentional."

Tillie opened her mouth to tell Grace about Anne's journal but took a sip of tea when Grace continued.

"'Twas wrong of me to be so rude to ye, too. I should have had more respect for the lady of the clan." She shook her head as if disgusted with herself. "'Tis just that I've been so lost in my grief for me sister, nothin' else mattered to me."

A twinge in Tillie's stomach made her grimace. She hadn't had anything to eat yet today, and her belly was protesting. "I ken what ye must have been goin' through," she said. "Everyone handles their sufferin' differently."

"Thank ye for being understandin'," Grace said. She kept her eyes trained on Tillie, as if trying to read if she was sincere.

Tillie nodded but frowned as her stomach rolled again. She wished Grace had thought to have some cheese or bread she could nibble on.

"I am just happy we can put this behind us and move on to a more healthy relationship," Tillie said.

This time, the pain that accompanied the growling of her stomach was more intense. Tillie sucked her breath in sharply and placed a hand over the offended area. It felt like a pair of hands were inside her stomach, squeezing and twisting her innards.

This isnae right. Somethin' is wrong.

Tillie glanced at Grace, opening her mouth to excuse herself when another pain gripped her. This time much more intense. She couldn't help the gasp and moan that escaped her as she doubled over.

"Is everythin' alright? Are ye feelin' ill?" Grace asked.

Her tone didn't sound concerned. In fact, as Tillie's vision started to blur, she swore she saw a maniacal smile pull across Grace's face.

"Wh-what did ye do?" Tillie gasped out as the pain continued to increase, and her vision became fuzzy.

"Do?" Grace asked with false innocence. "I didnae do anythin'. I will go get help. Ye dinnae look so well."

As Grace left the room, Tillie grabbed the edge of her chair and tried to push herself to her feet. There seemed to be no strength left in her body. Just pain. Her hands slipped from the chair, and she crashed to the floor, but she hardly felt the impact with the pain coursing in waves through her body.

Tillie laid there in a ball of agony. Just before everything went dark, she wondered if Grace really had gone to get someone to help — or if she had been the one to cause this in the first place.