Chapter 22

22

" I would like to inspect the garden today," Tillie said as Paisley put the finishing touches on her hair. She'd kept the style simple, as Tillie preferred, with most of her hair swept up behind her head and just a few strands hanging down the sides of her face, so it didn't look so severe.

Paisley walked around to stand in front of where Tillie was sitting, and Tillie didn't miss the slight wince that crossed Paisley's face.

"There's not much of one," Paisley said, pulling on a strand of Tillie's hair to lesson some of the curl.

"'Tis as I figured," Tillie agreed. "But with the size of this castle, there should be a large enough garden to provide food and herbs. Where is cook getting fresh vegetables?"

"She trades with the villagers. That's why sometimes ye willnae see any vegetables or fruits with the meals. There's only so much she can trade."

A scowl crossed Tillie's features. "Well, we will just have to fix that. I wonder if cook would like to come with us to inspect the garden, so she can tell me what she might like to see there."

"I will ask her," Paisley offered. "Although, I dinnae think she will want to leave the kitchen for too long."

"We can leave it up to her, and if she prefers, she can just give me a list."

Paisley nodded then walked over to the table and grabbed the morning meal's dishes. "Let me just get rid of these before we go to the garden." She frowned. "Maven is not doing her job. Ye might need to give her another talkin' to."

Tillie sighed as Paisley rushed out of the bed chamber with a stack of dishes in her hand. She'd already talked to Maven about making sure to keep the Laird's chamber warm and not let the fire go out as she had the other night. She should probably replace the maid, but Tillie felt sorry for the older woman. She could tell Maven tried, but she seemed to have a hard time keeping track of her duties.

A scratching sound at the door drew her attention. Mayhap it was Maven who suddenly remembered she was supposed to clear the dishes from the morning meal.

"Enter," Tillie called out brightly.

The door opened a few seconds later, and Tillie was surprised to see Grace walk inside. She quickly got to her feet and nervously smoothed her plain gray woolen skirt. Tillie hadn't seen or talked to Aidan's sister-in-law since that disastrous supper when Grace had talked about Aidan and Anne as if they'd had the perfect marriage.

"Grace," Tillie greeted pleasantly, "what can I do for ye?"

Grace closed the door and walked further into the room. Her brown eyes and brown hair matched the dull brown gown she wore. Did the woman have any other gowns that weren't brown?

"Ye could leave," Grace said evenly, "but I guess that would be too much to ask for."

Tillie stiffened at the insult. This was what she'd feared when Aidan had told her he and Grace had talked about hurting her feelings. That Tillie would be seen as weak, and it would provide Grace the opportunity to try and take advantage of her. She opened her mouth to give the woman a set down then closed it. She was the lady of the clan, and Grace was one of the members. No matter how irritated she was, Tillie had a responsibility to try and resolve their differences without reacting to anger or hurt.

"I ken ye are hurtin', and this must be a very uncomfortable situation —", Tillie began, but Grace cut her off.

"Have ye lost a sister then?" she demanded. Tillie tightened her mouth but said nothing. "Then ye have no idea."

"Mayhap not exactly what ye are goin' through, but I can understand."

"Ye have no right to be here," Grace seethed. "Aidan has no right to continue on with his life as if he isn't responsible for Anne's death."

Tillie sucked her breath in sharply. "How can ye say that? Yer sister's death was tragic, but Aidan dinnae cause it."

"Aye, he did. And he kens it. If he had been there for her, she would be alive today."

"Ye cannae possibly ken that." Tillie was finding it very difficult to remain calm. How long had Grace been feeding this guilt to Aidan?

"Aye, I can. Anne would not kill herself unless she truly felt there was no other way. Aidan made her life miserable, and takin' her own life was the only way she felt she could escape."

"That was her decision," Tillie said, quickly losing control of her temper. She gripped the edge of her dressing table, her knuckles turning white with her efforts. "Only hers. There are always other choices."

"Nay, not for Anne," Grace argued. Her usually pale face was becoming flushed, and her eyes had an almost wild look in them. "He knew it. He knew she was suffering and did nothing."

"I will remind ye that ye are talking about yer laird," Tillie said through gritted teeth. "Ye will have respect for him, especially in his own home where ye are a guest ."

Grace raised her chin at the reminder, but she wasn't deterred. "Ye must let him live out his punishment. 'Twas his duty to protect her, and since he dinnae, he has to suffer the consequences."

Grace took a step forward, and Tillie stiffened, her already tight grip on the dressing table growing even firmer.

"I will stay here for the rest of my life," she said, her eyes narrowed on Tillie. "I will serve as a reminder lest Aidan forgets of the wrong that he did my sister. 'Tis my duty to make sure he pays for his crime, and I will remain here to make sure he doesnae find happiness."

Tillie couldn't believe the depths to which the woman would go to punish Aidan. She understood Grace was in pain and blamed Aidan for her sister's death. He blamed himself as well. In her mind, they were both wrong and should try to enjoy whatever time God has given them.

"'Tis an unhealthy way to live yer life," Tillie tried to make Grace see reason. "'Tis time ye both moved on. Keep Anne in yer memories, celebrate the life she had, but stop punishin' each other for her death."

"I willnae. My sister is gone, and the Laird is responsible. I shall remain here in the shadows, a reminder so that Aidan never forgets his failure and lives his life in atonement."

Tillie uncurled her stiff fingers from the dressing table and took two determined steps toward Grace. Trying to get the woman to see reason was not going to work. She was too stubborn and fixed on the notion of punishing Aidan. Tillie knew it was probably Grace's way of dealing with her sister's death. She needed someone to blame and that fell solely on Aidan as far as his sister-in-law was concerned.

Tillie understood Grace was grieving, but enough time had gone by that it was time to let it go. To start living her life and stop trying to punish Aidan. He was so lost in his own guilt that he didn't see just how dangerous and unhealthy it was to keep punishing himself. But she did, and as his wife it was her duty to protect him.

"This is the Laird's home and I am the Lady, and as such, I am warnin' ye. Ye will learn to curb yer tongue and stop tryin' to punish him for yer sister's death, and …" she emphasized, drawing the word out when it looked like Grace was going to interrupt, "and ye will do yer utmost to get along with us. If ye dinnae, then ye will no longer be welcome to live here. Do I make myself clear?"

Grace opened her mouth but then snapped it shut. Understanding dawned in her brown gaze. She knew Tillie had the power to do as she said. Tillie watched with some fascination at the varying expressions that crossed Grace's features. There was anger, of course, and disbelief. But there was also wariness and uncertainty. Tillie didn't like having to be so mean, but it was her responsibility to make sure the castle ran smoothly which meant its inhabitants had to get along, too.

After a couple of intense moments of silence, Grace turned on her heel and left Tillie's chamber. She hadn't said a word, and Tillie hadn't really expected her to, either. Grace was a proud woman and felt justified in her quest to make Aidan's life miserable. Being thwarted in her life's mission, she felt displaced and unsure. Tillie hoped this would be the end of it, but she had a sinking feeling she might have just made things worse.

"Me Lady!" Paisley whispered urgently as she rushed inside the chamber and firmly shut the door behind her. "Is everythin' okay? I saw Mistress Grace leave yer chamber, and I ken she was up to no good."

Tillie nodded and forced her fingers to relax. She hadn't realized they'd been balled up into fists when she'd warned Grace which surprised her. Anger and violence were not her way, but for the span of a heartbeat, she'd envisioned herself slapping Grace for all the pain she'd caused Aidan and continued to deliver.

"I am fine," Tillie finally answered. She was proud her voice sounded so level and not affected. "What did cook say?" she asked, changing the subject.

Paisley cocked her head to the side and studied her briefly. Tillie doubted the maid believed her, but she didn't comment.

"She will make a list," Paisley answered.

Tillie nodded. "Let us go survey the garden, then. A nice, brisk walk in the cool air is just what I need."

"Try not to let Mistress Grace get under yer skin. She is a cranky woman who cannae find joy in life and wants others to suffer in her misery."

Paisley could not have described Grace any better. It was the truth. If Grace couldn't be happy, then no one else should either. Tillie, who was usually cheerful and enjoyed every moment of life, could not even begin to fathom how miserable a life that would be. She almost felt sorry for the woman. Almost.

Paisley started to open the door only to jump back, a quiet shriek escaping her. Aidan pushed the door open and stomped inside, ignoring Paisley, who stood back, both hands over her heart.

"Me Laird?" Tillie asked curiously. She shot a glance at Paisley, who took the opportunity to rush out of the chamber while Aidan's attention was focused on Tillie.

He didn't take his eyes off her as he closed the distance between them in three angry strides. He stopped when they were so close Tillie had to tilt her head back to see his eyes. A trickle of alarm danced down her spine at the anger she saw simmering in his blue gaze.

"What is wrong?" she asked quietly.

A muscle in his jaw worked while he stared at her. His nostrils flared as he took a deep breath before demanding, "Ye told Grace she had to leave?"