Chapter 16

The next morning, Lilian woke up when Anne brought her breakfast. "Good morning, Your Grace."

Lilian groaned, rubbing at her eyes. She glanced at the window and frowned. "What time is it?"

"Almost noon, Ma'am."

"What?!" Lilian shot up in bed with a gasp. "How is it so late? Why did you not wake me up sooner?"

"I was told you might want to sleep in. To be honest, I wasn't even sure if you would be here when I brought up your meal" Anne looked away.

"Told by whom?"

"His Grace."

Lilian frowned. "I thought you answer to me."

"I do. My apologies, Ma'am. It won't happen again."

She sighed, shaking her head. "It's all right. I was being unreasonable. I'm simply still rather tired. When did you see him?"

"This morning, when I started to prepare your tea. He came into the kitchen and mentioned you'd had a late night and asked him to let me know you needed your rest. I'm sorry, Your Grace."

"You are perfectly all right. You didn't do anything wrong."

"In the future, I will disregard any orders from him."

"You don't need to do that. I was simply tired—please put this conversation out of your mind."

Anne hesitated. "As you wish, Your Grace."

"Did you already have a gown in mind for today?" Lilian asked.

"Not yet."

"That is a bit surprising. You are usually so ahead of me on that." She smiled. "Perhaps something in green?"

"Of course. Maybe the one with the lilacs embroidered on the hem?"

"It sounds perfect. Thank you."

Anne curtsied and slipped off, leaving Lilian alone.

Lilian sighed, picking at her food until the girl returned to help her dress.

As Anne was fixing her hair, she asked, "Did you have a nice walk with His Grace last night?"

Lilian frowned. "I thought we had. Has he been around aside from when he found you this morning?"

"I haven't seen him other than that. I'm sorry."

"It's all right. I was just expecting him to stop by."

"He probably just wanted to give you time to sleep. After all, he's the one who told me you needed your rest."

Lilian forced a smile. "Of course." She got to her feet. "I will be in my parlor reading for a bit if you need me."

She slipped into her parlor and tried to occupy herself for a while. She picked up a book and tried to read but mostly just stared at the clock, watching the hours tick by.

It was strange. Lilian had thought Frederic would have come to see her by now, especially after their kiss. It seemed like they would have so much to talk about.

And yet, at almost two o'clock in the afternoon, she still hadn't seen so much as a glimpse of him.

She supposed she shouldn't be all that surprised. His cold dismissal of her last night played on a loop in her head between memories of the kiss. So much of last night left her feeling unmoored and confused.

By three o'clock, she simply couldn't take it anymore. She paused in her pacing and looked at the door. Why did she need to sit around and wait for him to come to her? Just because that's what he told her to do didn't mean she needed to listen.

She glanced at the clock again. She knew his schedule well enough to know where he would be by now.

Right, that was settled then.

She squared her shoulder and marched down to his study. Lilian grabbed the doorknob and made to turn it, only to find it locked.

"What?" she gasped in shock.

She glanced back the way she came. For a moment, she considered turning back. Then she shook her head. She'd come too far to stop now. Then, with a deep breath, she pounded on the door.

When there was no answer after a few seconds, she glanced around again before pressing her ear against the hardwood. She closed her eyes, straining to hear any sound from the other side.

Suddenly the door swung open, sending Lilian falling to the ground.

She let out an undignified, little squeak.

She looked up to see Frederic staring down at her with his arms crossed and a deep frown on his face. "Did you need something?" he sighed.

"Aren't you going to help me up?"

He rolled his eyes but offered her his hand.

"Thank you." Lilian grabbed it, allowing him to pull her to her feet.

She tried to ignore the sparks that crept up her arm when their skin touched. Once she was on her feet, smoothing her skirts out, he turned away.

"Right, if you didn't need anything?—"

"Wait!" she cut him off. "I thought after last night, there might be some things we should talk about."

"I have work I need to get to, so I don't have time right now." He moved to shut the door again, but Lilian shot her hand out to stop him.

"Can you make time?" she pleaded. "Just a few minutes. I just—I would really appreciate it."

He hesitated for a moment before he sighed, opening the door. "All right, fine. You can come in but only for a few minutes."

She let out a sigh of relief. "Thank you."

When she stepped in and saw the chair she'd pulled over was still in front of his desk, she had to bite back a small smile.

"How has your morning—well, I suppose afternoon too now—been?"

"Fine."

"Good, mine got off to a later start than I expected. Anne said you told her to let me sleep in. Thanks for that. I think I needed the rest."

He hummed. "I thought you might."

She nodded.

"So?" he asked, taking his seat. "What did you want to talk about?"

For a moment, Lilian just stared at him. Her mouth opened, but no words came out. After a moment, she said, "You don't think that there's anything that happened that warrants even a little bit of discussion?"

He looked away, directing his gaze to a ledger laid out in front of him. "You did well last night. Far better than I'd expected or even hoped. I know I said it last night, but I suppose it warrants repeating."

She blinked, taking a moment to get her thoughts in order. "That's good. I'm really glad, and I hope this means I will get to go out with you again, but that isn't where I thought this was going to go. Is that really all you have to say?"

"Oh."

For a moment, he was silent. Lilian could feel her heart pounding in her throat. She wanted to scream, Why did you kiss me? She wanted to demand an answer, but she couldn't bring herself to say a word.

Eventually, he finally said, still without really looking at her, "I suppose you just want to talk about the next part of our plan. Is that it?"

"Right." Lilian tried to hide her disappointment. The words she longed to say died in her throat, and she allowed the conversation to move on. She shook her head. "Right. Of course. That's why I'm here—to talk about what comes next. For the investigation, of course."

He nodded, and she couldn't help but feel like she saw something like relief crash across his face.

Finally, he looked up and met her eyes. "Very good. Then let's get started. Based on what we heard last night, it seems like the window to catch Tony is closing, and fast. We need to get him soon, or we may never get another chance to bring him to justice."

She nodded. "I couldn't agree more. I'm willing to do whatever I can to help. What's the plan? Did you have something in mind already?"

He sighed, shaking his head. "No, not yet. That's what I was trying to figure out when you arrived."

Lilian hesitated, chewing on her lip. "I might have an idea, but it would be pretty risky. It might not work."

"What is it? At this point, risky might be the only option we have, and I can help work out the parts of it that are less than feasible."

She took a deep breath. "All right, well, they deal in debt and opium, right?"

He nodded. "Go on."

"So, obviously we can't go into debt—it's far too risky for a number of reasons—but we could pretend we were looking to buy opium."

"And you think that would be enough to draw him out?"

"I think it could if we played our cards right."

"How so?"

"Let it slip that we have money to burn. Make it clear we're willing to part with it under the right circumstances, but that we need assurance. We aren't looking to deal with some lowly street thug. We are important potential clients who deserve no less than the best from the best. We all but demand to see him if that's what it takes."

He thought for a minute. "We'd have to kick up a pretty big fuss. It could be dangerous."

"I know. It isn't ideal."

"They might not take the bait. If they don't, it could all be for nothing, but at this point, I can't help but feel like it might be our only shot."

She let out a long breath. "You really think it could work?"

"I don't know. I think it's possible if we play our cards right, but we don't have room for a single wrong move."

"I understand. Just tell me what you need me to do."

"We'd need to sell the illusion that we've got money and we don't know what to do with it. Make a spectacle of ourselves. You could wear your tackiest dress."

She gasped in mock offense. "How dare you! I'll have you know that none of my dresses are tacky."

"Then find one that is."

"I suppose I can always ask Beatrice where she gets hers."

He snorted. "What did she ever do to you?"

"There's so much gentlemen aren't forced to suffer through during the Season. You are lucky to have been spared from her wrath, I am not."

"Right, anyway, you get an awful dress. I get an awful suit. We go to a tavern and start acting suspicious. We throw money around, buy rounds for the bar, act like we've been drinking. Once we see someone we think seems like a worthy target, we start dropping hints that we're looking for opium."

"How will we know who to approach?"

"I've already identified some of his low-level thugs. When I see one, I'll let you know. Just leave that part to me."

She nodded.

"Once I give you a signal, start kicking up a fuss. I want you to act as entitled and dramatic as you can. Throw a proper fit. Demand to see someone higher up. Do that every time I give you the signal while we work our way to the top."

"Sounds like this might take longer than a single night."

"Maybe, no way to know for sure until we start trying."

"Well then, it sounds like I need to make a trip to the dressmaker."

They spent some more time solidifying the plan. Finally, Frederic sat back in his chair with a deep sigh.

"All right, it's a long shot, but I think we've got the start of a solid plan here. This could actually work."

Lilian's eyes lit up. "I'm so glad! When do you want to do it?"

"That's the hard part. We can't afford to wait too long, but I don't want to rush this. Give me a few days to get things figured out, and I'll let you know. In the meantime, try to get at least a few dresses to start with."

"Sounds good. I think I can handle that."

"Good, just make sure not to go to your usual dressmaker. Try and keep this as separate from your real identity as possible."

"Believe me, my usual dressmaker would never make something like we need. I would have to go somewhere else even without your warning."

"Good, I was just making sure."

Then, Frederic smiled at her. Words bubbled up in Lilian's throat. She wanted to know why he kissed her and what it meant to him, but the words stuck in her throat again. If she were being honest, she was afraid to learn the answer. After all, what could she really do if he said it was a mistake or he regretted it?

They were married. It was too late to change anything. It was better to live in limbo than risk the never-ending sting of rejection.

"I think that's everything then," he said.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll let you get back to work."

He nodded. "I'll make a point to come to dinner again tonight. I'll see you then." He smiled at her.

"I'll see you then."

She started to head back to her room, but as she walked, she heard sounds from one of the rooms she hadn't explored yet. She hesitated for a moment before quickly giving in to her curiosity.

She made her way towards the sound until she found herself in a parlor slightly smaller than her private parlor. Its dark blue damask walls were covered in watercolor paintings of everything imaginable. There were still lifes, landscapes, garden scenes, pictures of pets, and even a few portraits.

Near the window, Louisa stood in front of an easel, eyes locked on a blank canvas.

Lilian gasped. "I didn't know you paint," she said. "These are lovely."

She came to stand in front of a painting of a small boy with big blue eyes staring up at her, his arms around a floppy golden dog.

"Thank you," Louisa said with a strange smile as she walked over to her. "It's been a while since I last painted, but I've been thinking about picking it back up since the wedding."

"You should. Your work is lovely."

"Thank you. That one's of Freddy. He was about eight years old there. That was his childhood dog, Winston."

"He was such a cute child!"

Louisa laughed. "You sound a bit surprised."

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to!"

"No offense taken. He has changed a lot since then, obviously. I don't blame you for not recognizing him."

Lilian frowned, studying the painting for a minute. "I don't know. I think there's something in the eyes that's still the same."

Louisa looked stunned. "What do you mean?"

Lilian thought for a minute, mind flashing back to last night. "It's not always there, actually. It almost seems like it can take a lot to draw it out, but there's a lightness in his eyes that I've seen a few times."

The woman's mouth opened and closed in shock. "I am so happy you've seen it. I feel like it's been so long since I saw it."

"I'm sorry." Lilian shook her head. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"No, I'm glad you did. It's good to know that part of him still has a place even after he inherited the dukedom. Please, come in and sit down."

Lilian took a seat on one of the armchairs near Louisa's easel.

"What were you thinking about painting?" she asked.

"I wasn't sure. That's part of the problem. I used to not need to think about what to paint. I simply looked around, and there was always so much joy around me—it seemed easy to find something I wanted to capture forever. Then my husband passed away. I still had my boys. There was still a lot about my life that brought me so much joy. Then we lost Evan. I love Freddy—of course, I do. But it's hard sometimes. He's so busy with work. I don't want to worry him, but it gets lonely here. Pembroke House used to be so loud, so full of laughter. It's been too quiet for too long." Louisa smiled. "I'm glad he has you. I hope you are able to bring some light to him and this house."

"I can only hope I live up to your expectations."

"Oh, my dear, as long as you are living a life that brings you joy, you've done more than enough."

Lilian gave an honest smile. "We're working on it."

Louisa laughed. "I'm sorry, I just find it interesting how even with a love match, you still have so much to work on and learn. No matter what you do, nothing can fully prepare you for marriage, can it?"

"I suppose not. What was it first like for you when you got married?"

"Oh, it was very different from you and Freddy, much to my relief. I'd only met him once or twice before the wedding. We danced around each other the whole honeymoon. It took us months to feel like we truly knew each other, probably close to a year before we fell in love, but once we had, we fell completely. We used to sneak out, just like you and Freddy do now. There was this sweet, little tavern—he used to make a point to take me there at least once a month. When he found time, it was always the highlight of my week. Even once the boys were born, he still always made a point to take me out."

"Have you gone out with Freddy before?"

"No." Louisa shook her head. "I have not been in that part of town since Evan passed. I just can't bring myself to do it."

"Would you like to go with us?"

"You don't need to do that."

"I know, but I want to. I think it would be fun to take you out with us sometime."

Louisa blinked at her in shock. "You really want me to go with you?"

"Of course! I think it would be a grand time. I'd really love it if you would show me some of the places you used to go with your husband, but I understand if you aren't comfortable doing that now or ever."

The older woman smiled. "Thank you, Lilian. I'll consider that."

"There is nothing to thank me for. If anything, I should thank you for even considering it."

Louisa shook her head. "You are a very special young woman. I meant that. My son is lucky to have you."

"It's kind of you to say."

"Can I—" Louisa hesitated. "Can I paint you?"

A bright smile spread across Lilian's face. "I would be honored. How do you want me to sit?"

"You are perfect just where you are. Just do your best to hold still for me."

That was where Frederic found them some hours later. He paused in the doorway in shock for a moment, before cautiously stepping in.

"Here you two are," he said.

Lilian gasped in shock, and Louisa couldn't help but laugh.

"Freddy, why are you dressed for dinner already?" Louisa asked.

"Probably because it's well past time for dinner. I came to find you both because you didn't come to the dining room." His eyes flickered to her easel. "Now I can see why. I'll have someone bring your meals up."

"You don't need to do that," the older woman said. "We'll be right down."

"There is no need. I'd hate to interrupt."

"Then you must join us," Lilian suggested.

"I couldn't agree more," his mother said. "Go let the staff know then come back, but change into something more comfortable first."

"If you are both sure." He laughed. "I will be right back."

A few minutes later, he came back in to see the plates had already been brought up. He sat on the sofa, eyes flicking between the two women as he watched his mother work.

He racked his brain for the last time he had seen her so happy but struggled to come up with something.

"I have to say, Mother," he said, "if I knew you would be so happy to see me married, I would have done so sooner."

"It isn't simply that you married, but it's the wonderful woman who decided she was willing to marry you that makes me so happy, Freddy."

"I'm glad you approve. It would be a problem at this point if you didn't."

"How could I not? Your Lilian is a lovely young woman. I hope you know just how lucky you are to have her."

"I have a feeling she's going to do everything she can to make sure I never forget it," he said, glancing at Lilian out of the corner of his eye.

His mind couldn't help but go back to the night before. Lilian was so different, so free. She made him wonder if he could feel free. If he could feel just a fraction of what she did if he stood in her light.

It made him wish things weren't so dangerous. He wished he could take her out for fun without the fear of Tony breathing down the back of his neck.

But that wasn't the situation.

He shook the thought from his head. He would think about it when it was a thought worth having. Not now. It wasn't safe to consider what anything swirling in his chest was now.

"Oh," Lilian said, snapping him out of his thoughts. "We were talking earlier, and I was thinking, we should get a pet."

He raised an eyebrow. "We should?"

"I couldn't agree more," Louisa chimed in. "You always loved having a dog as a boy."

"All right, if you want a pet, then get one."

Lilian frowned. "Yes, but this isn't just about me. It's about us. All three of us should pick it out together."

All he could do was sit there and listen in awe as his wife and the infectious joy she filled the room with pulled his mother from the hard shell she seemed to constantly hide away in in her grief.

After a while, Louisa stepped back. "It's all done. Do you want to see it?"

"Absolutely!" Lilian leapt to her feet.

Frederic followed behind, moving so he could see the easel.

"It's been quite some time since I've painted," his mother said quickly. "Please don't judge it too harshly."

"It looks perfect," he said.

There she was on the page. It wasn't a proper portrait. Somehow, his mother managed to capture Lilian mid-laugh, her face brightened by more joy than he had ever seen a person have in his life.

Despite knowing that it was genuine, it still seemed hard to believe, but it was. There was no act or facade, just Lilian.

"Your work is beautiful," Lilian agreed.

"Thank you. You both are too kind."

"We're not," Lilian insisted. "I mean it. This is great."

"Thank you." Then Louisa's eyes lit up. "Why don't I send it to your office, Freddy?"

"What?"

"Oh, it would be perfect. You spend so much time in there, it would really brighten the place up."

And so the painting ended up in his office. When he left for the night, Lilian walked beside him.

"I haven't seen her paint in such a long time," Frederic sighed. "How did you do it?"

"She mentioned it had been a while, but I didn't do anything. All I did was sit there and talk with her."

He laughed. "Somehow, I doubt it."

She turned to him with a look of indignation on her face. "But I didn't. It was all her."

"Sure, it was."

"It was."

He shook his head. "I'm trying to say thank you. Accept the compliment and be happy."

"But I can't. I didn't earn it."

"Trust me," he sighed, "you did."

They came to the door of her quarters, and he turned to face her. "Good night, Lilian. I hope you sleep well."

"You too, Frederic. Good night."