Chapter 15

Lilian's heart pounded in her chest. Before she could say a word, he grabbed her hand, pulling her down one of the alleys. It was as dark as a moonless night, and the narrow walls seemed to close in on her.

It felt as though the very air was thinning around them. Her lungs struggled to bring in enough air. Her heart was in her throat, ready to leap out of her mouth at any moment. Her eyes flicked to Frederic, but he was staring ahead, mouth set in a line of grim determination.

They couldn't even have gone ten feet into the darkness, but it felt more like miles. Her feet pounded over the ground as she struggled to keep up with Frederic's breakneck pace. Their path twisted and turned. Lilian quickly lost track of where they were and how to get back, but no matter how much they ran, it was no use.

"I think I heard someone over there," a voice called from somewhere in the distance behind them.

The sound of footsteps came closer and closer even as they picked up speed.

Frederic cursed. "It's no use. We aren't going to be able to get out of this by outrunning them." His eyes flickered back to Lilian, something unreadable on his face. "I have to ask, do you trust me?"

She grimaced. "Do I have a choice?"

"Not really, but it seemed proper to ask."

Before she could respond, he pulled her down an even more narrow alley. Her back pressed against the rough stone wall behind her. She opened her mouth to ask him what he was doing, but then her words vanished in her chest. Frederic leaned in close, crowding her against the wall. His hands rested on either side of her head. His blue eyes gazed down at her with a shocking intensity.

Her breath caught in her chest. He was so close, she could feel the heat radiating off his body, soaking into her bones. Her hands clenched and unclenched at her sides, her arms limp and unsure what to do.

"What are you doing?" she whispered, her mouth dry. She wondered if he could feel her breath the way she could feel his.

"Quiet," he whispered. The words were so quiet that she felt them against her skin more than she heard them. "You don't want them to hear us, do you?"

She shook her head, a few stray locks of hair brushing against his cheeks in the process.

"That's what I thought. Now, wrap your arms around me."

Her jaw dropped in shock. "Excuse me!" she gasped as loud as she dared. "What? Just what are you trying to do?"

"Quiet!" he warned. "And I said, wrap your arms around me."

"I heard you the first time, but why?"

"Because if they think we are a pair of lovers hiding away for a stolen minute, they won't look twice at us."

"Over here! I hear something!" the voice called again.

Panic seized Lilian. She jumped to comply, wrapping her arms around him as fast as she could. Her shaking hands fisted the soft linen at the back of his shirt.

"Now what?" she squeaked.

"Now, we stay here and stay very quiet until they're gone."

She swallowed and nodded.

She tried not to focus on how warm he felt against her. She was somewhat relieved his arms were on the wall rather than her. Still, she couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like if he did wrap his arms around her. She couldn't help but think about the broad planes of his chest pressing against her. She hoped he didn't hear, or even worse feel, how hard her heart pounded against her ribs. She wondered if the vibrations carried all the way into his ribs, but she didn't have time to focus on that now.

All she could do was focus on trying to remain calm.

They didn't have long to wait until the voices approached the mouth of the alley. Her arms involuntarily tightened around him. She tried not to notice how warm his body was, how firm his muscles felt under her hands.

An obnoxious laugh cut through the night. "Seriously, Johnny? There's no one here but some necking couple."

"I know what I heard, and it wasn't a necking couple! It sounded like someone trying to sneak around."

"I bet they were. You need to sneak around to find a good place to take your lover. Not that you know about that."

"But that's not what I heard!"

"Why don't you stop trying to use your ears since they never seem to work and learn to use your eyes?"

"I know what I heard. Maybe it's further down."

"Come on, man. I'm not spending all night hunting for the nonexistent voices you heard hiding in some bushes."

"But I know I heard something!"

The man scoffed, and they started to walk away. "I'm sure you did, Johnny. I'm sure you did."

"I swear I did!"

Neither Frederic nor Lilian moved until their footsteps long since disappeared into the distance.

Lilian found herself unable to ignore the closeness between them. She was surprised by how natural it felt to be in his arms.

Frederic stepped back with a sigh, and she tried not to mourn his warmth. "That was closer than I like. We should get back home. Surely, even you can't argue with that at this point, can you?"

Lilian's heart raced as she struggled to catch her breath. "What are you talking about?" A giant grin broke out across her face. "That was great! Can't we just go to one more place to celebrate?"

He frowned, and for a moment, Lilian expected him to say no.

"Come on," she pleaded. "We already got away. What damage could it really do at this point? Just one more place."

"We aren't out here to have fun."

"I know, but that doesn't mean we can't have some fun while we're already out. We'll pass at least a few places."

He sighed. "Fine, one more stop then we go home, but we're only staying for one drink!" he insisted, walking out of the alley.

Lilian cheered, chasing after him. "You won't regret this! Why don't you let me take the lead on this one, and you can actually relax for once?"

"I hardly see how I can relax on a night like this."

And so the couple found themselves at another tavern. Frederic watched Lilian go up to the bar and order them drinks. She was laughing with the bartender when he pulled himself out of his stupor and followed after her.

"Ah, here's my husband!" She grinned, handing him his drink. "Dan, this is Patrick. He said there's going to be a musician soon!"

"Really? I assume you want to stay for that?"

"Of course. We did just get here, after all."

"Right, of course." Frederic accepted his cup, delighted to find she'd chosen a lovely dark ale for him.

"Don't worry." The bartender smiled. "I'm sure you're worried he's not going to be very good. In a little place like this, it wouldn't be a shock if our music was just god awful, but I assure you, Gary's boy is good. Just stay for a song or two. Give him a chance."

Frederic sighed. "I suppose I can. After all, it seems like she's really got her heart set on it."

"Try and enjoy it. You might surprise yourself."

Frederic doubted that but kept that thought to himself.

Lilian had already struck up a conversation with another patron by the time he turned back to her.

He could only listen in shock as she moved through the crowd with an ease he hadn't expected. No matter whom she struck up a conversation with, she seemed welcome.

When there was a moment where she wasn't talking to anyone, he couldn't help but laugh.

"What is it?" She frowned at him. "Why are you laughing at me?"

"I'm not."

"Then what are you laughing at?"

"I just didn't expect you to be so…" He paused searching for the right word. "… social."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing."

She pouted, putting her hands on her hips. "Really? Because it doesn't sound like nothing."

He sighed. "I'm impressed, all right. There, I said it. Are you happy?"

Her jaw dropped in a look of shock he was surprised to find endearing. "You're impressed because I'm talking to people?"

"Yes, well, before this, I don't think I've seen you have a pleasant conversation or even a conversation you seemed to enjoy since I met you."

"Are you saying we've never had a pleasant conversation?"

"I'm saying we've hardly had a conversation, but it would seem you aren't the only one at fault for that."

She smiled. "I'm really glad to hear you say that. All I wanted when we married was a chance for this to become something real."

"Yes, well…" He looked away. "As you now know, I had and still have other things on my mind."

"And I'm not asking you to put any of that to the side. If anything, I want to meet you where you are and get involved as much as I can."

"I told you?—"

"I know," she cut him off. "Not safe, but I still want to be involved as much as you feel I safely can."

He nodded. "Perhaps there is a middle ground here, after all."

"That's all I've wanted to hear. Thank you for trying."

Then the musician arrived and started playing an upbeat tune on his fiddle. His voice was a rich, sweet tenor as he sang along. Frederic was surprised to find the guy wasn't half bad, after all.

He'd opened his mouth to say as much when Lilian's eyes lit up. "I love this song! Come on, dance with me!"

"What?" was all Frederic managed to say before she dragged him to the dance floor, where a few other couples were gathering.

"What are we doing?" He laughed, shaking his head as she moved their bodies.

"I told you, we're dancing."

"Why?"

"Because I love this song. Besides, do we need a reason? It's fun."

He smiled. "I supposed it is."

When the song ended, they found themselves moving to the sound of the next one and the one after that. Lilian couldn't take her eyes off Frederic's smile. It felt like that night was the first time she really saw it.

"Glad we didn't go straight home?" she called over the music.

"I suppose I am. You seem to be enjoying yourself."

"How could I not? This is the first time I've felt like my whole self since our wedding. I wish we could do this every night."

"I don't know about every night, but I think you've shown you can handle coming out again sometime."

Lilian threw her head back with a laugh. "I told you I'd impress you."

"You really have, Lilian."

She flushed. "Should you be using my real name here?"

"Probably not. I suppose it just slipped out."

"Maybe it's you who shouldn't be trusted to go on clandestine missions."

"Or maybe I just need you with me to keep me in line."

Her flush darkened. "If you think I'm up for the task."

"Somehow I think you'll manage."

As the music swirled around them, the pair grew closer and closer.

Bodies pressed together. They shared each other's breath. Then, Frederic's eyes met hers, and she leaned in.

Their lips met. Lilian's breath caught in her chest. Electricity coursed through her. She moved to wrap her arms around him, but before she could, he pulled back, stepping away from her.

She tried not to let it show just how jarred she was by the sudden distance.

"It's late. We should get home," he said, already walking towards the door.

"Right." She forced a smile. "Of course. Let's go home."

Her heart pounded in her chest as they made their way along the dark streets. Countless words bubbled in her throat. She wanted to ask why he kissed her and why he was being so weird now.

She could only hope he didn't regret it.

He was silent as well, eyes fixed straight ahead as he marched down the street, only occasionally glancing back to ensure she was still following behind him.

Finally, they made it inside. To Lilian's shock, they didn't go in through the back or sneak in through a side entrance but went right through the front door just as they would on any other occasion. The second they were inside the quiet, still house, Frederic turned to go.

"I'm sure you are rather tired after all that. Good night, Lilian."

"Wait!" she called.

He sighed, turning to face her. "Yes?"

Why are you being so quiet? I thought we had a nice time. What changed? When can we do this again? Why did you kiss me?

But all of that felt too big to try and ask. Instead, Lilian simply forced a tight smile and said, "I'm sure we have much to discuss. What time should I come by your study tomorrow morning?"

"There's no need." He turned and started walking.

"But we should talk about…" About the kiss. About their time together. About what they were going to try to make this work. About everything. "About the next steps in the investigation. I'm sure there is still much to figure out."

"There's no need. I'll send someone to come get you if I think of something we need to talk about. Otherwise, why don't you go get some rest? Good night, Lilian."

He walked away before she could say another word. Alone in the hall, Lilian whispered a quiet, "Good night, Frederic."

She sighed before making her way to her room and falling into bed.