Chapter 10

Lilian's heart pounded in her chest as she walked over to where Frederic was standing by the stairs. His eyes seemed to gaze out the window into the night.

"The last of the guests have left," she said.

The second she spoke, he pushed away from the window. "So I see. I'm going to retire for the night. I suggest you do the same."

"We won't be seeing any more of each other tonight?"

He sighed. "I don't see any point, and I have quite a lot of work I need to do. Perhaps I will see you at breakfast tomorrow. Good night, Lilian."

He turned to go, but she wouldn't let him just walk away. "Wait!" she called.

He sighed, turning back to face her. "Yes?"

"What were you looking at outside?"

His face hardened. "Nothing you need to concern yourself with. Now, if you'll excuse me." He moved to skirt around her, but she stopped him again.

"I'm your wife now, Frederic. Don't you want to talk? Maybe spend some time together before turning in?"

"I'm afraid I'm rather tired. You should get some rest. Good night."

She forced a smile. "Of course. I hope you sleep well. Good night, hus—" She cut herself off, shaking her head. "Good night, Frederic."

He shot her one last look before he walked off, leaving her alone and confused. She glanced out the window, straining her eyes to see what he'd been looking at, but all she saw were the dimly lit streets of London. It was late enough that they were deserted. Only the occasional carriage on its way home made its way past her small glass portal to the outside world.

She sighed. Lilian wished she was on her way home. Truth be told, she was tired after the long day. No one warned her that weddings were so tiring.

But the truth was, she was home.

There was no leaving. No going back to her family estate. No locking herself inside her room. Certainly no going to Matthew's room to pester him about taking off into the night to unwind for a bit.

There was only here.

Shaking her thoughts from her head, she started off to find her room.

As she was walking, she ran into Louisa. The woman was hovering near the stairs, looking up at them with a tight, blank look on her face.

Lilian frowned before forcing a smile and approaching her. "Oh! Duchess! I thought you were already in bed. How did you enjoy the wedding?"

A smile quickly settled onto the woman's face. "Lilian, you married my son today. We are family now. There is no need to be so formal about anything, not in the privacy of our home, at least."

"That's very kind of you."

"Think nothing of it! As I said, we're family. As for the wedding, it was positively lovely! You were such a vision in your dress. Oh! I just hope it was everything you always dreamed about."

Lilian forced an even larger smile. She hoped it didn't look as unnatural as it felt. Lilian knew she had to say something soon, but she could hardly tell her mother-in-law the truth, yet it felt wrong to lie to her.

After a pause Lilian desperately hoped wasn't oddly long, she said, "It was lovely, wasn't it?"

Louisa took her hands in her own. "What matters is that you're happy. My husband and I weren't a love match. I remember I was so nervous on my wedding day. We hardly knew each other at the time. Of course, in time, we grew to love each other deeply, but I'm glad my Freddy was able to fall in love before taking the leap. Speaking of him, where did Freddy slip off too? You shouldn't be alone after today."

"I'm not sure, but I am quite tired," Lilian said a bit too quickly. "I wandered off, hoping to find my room."

Louisa smiled. "Of course, you must be exhausted after everything. Let me go find Freddy. He can walk you there."

"Oh, there's no need for that! If I'm honest, I'm so tired I would rather not wait for him if it's all the same. I hardly slept last night. I couldn't stop thinking about today," Lilian confessed, her first truth of the evening.

"You must have been so excited!"

"Of course! It was the day I had dreamed about my whole life, after all. How could I not be?"

"Let's get you to bed. I can show you to your room if you like? I'll make sure to have a servant let Freddy know where you are in case he comes looking for you."

"Thank you, I would appreciate that," Lilian said, even though she already knew that was the last she would see of him that night.

"Anytime, my dear."

The pair walked in silence as Lilian took in the grandeur of her new home. Growing up the daughter of a viscount, Lilian was no stranger to luxury, but Pembroke House was truly in a class of its own.

Louisa noticed Lilian's eyes darting around them and spoke, "If there's anything you would like to change or update, please don't hesitate to let me know. I'm afraid I haven't done much decorating in quite some time. I'm sure there is much you'll want to do to make it more fashionable and bring Pembroke House back to its full glory."

Lilian turned to her, eyes wide in alarm. "I wasn't thinking anything of the sort! No, I was simply admiring how lovely of a place it is. I would never think of changing anything about your home."

Louisa gave her a smile. "Thank you. I am glad you like the place, but please try and keep in mind that it is your home now as well. I want you to be happy here and to feel like the place belongs to you. In my experience, making a few changes is a great way to accomplish that. It doesn't need to be anything major. Think about changing the throw pillows in your favorite parlor if nothing else, but make it your own."

"Favorite? How many parlors do you have?"

"Your new home is quite a bit larger than your family home. It has seven bedrooms as well as three additional rooms that can be turned into bedrooms if you have more children than anticipated." She gave Lilian a knowing look.

The bride's eyes darted away.

"There's the Dowager's quarters, Freddy's study, your quarters, the grand parlor, the morning room, the ballroom, the dining room, the grand dining room… you get the idea."

"Goodness! I'm starting to worry I'll need a map."

"It can be overwhelming, but I promise you will become accustomed to it faster than expected. But if you don't, come find me, and I'll have a map drawn up."

Lilian laughed. "I don't doubt I'll have to take you up on that."

"Try and have more faith in yourself, and if you feel like you are struggling, I'm sure Freddy will be happy to help you settle in."

Lilian forced her smile to stay in place even as it longed to slip. "Thank you, I will be sure to keep that in mind."

"As I said, we are family."

Finally, they came to a stop outside one of the doors. "Here you are. This will take you to your sitting room. Your bedroom is just through there. Sleep well."

"You as well, and thank you again."

Louisa waved her off before going on her way. Then Lilian was alone in her new home. The very thought made something shift and squirm inside her. It felt wrong. Any minute she expected a servant to come across her and ask her to leave.

Lilian shook her head. She was being ridiculous, a sign she needed sleep even more than she realized. Taking a deep breath, she pushed inside.

The parlor was a sizable room. The furnishings were all in pale blues and purples. She couldn't help but smile, wondering if they had already been there or if Louisa or maybe even Frederic had taken the time to pick it out. Then she headed into the bedroom.

The room was larger than her old one. A large bed occupied the center with a writing desk in one corner and a vanity in the other. She was startled when a woman in the corner near the vanity spoke.

"Good evening, Your Grace." The woman wearing a simple black dress curtsied when Lilian came in. "I am Anne, your new lady's maid."

She looked young, barely over sixteen. She must have been fresh out of training. Her dark auburn hair was smoothed back into a bun, large green eyes looking up at Lilian with eager excitement.

Lilian shook off her surprise. "Oh! I suppose it makes sense that my mother's maid couldn't come with me." She forced a smile. "Truth be told, I hadn't thought about a lady's maid until now."

"And now you don't have to. I'm happy to take care of you, Your Grace," Anne said eagerly.

In all actuality, Lilian should have gotten her own when she came out, but there was simply so much going on, and she became accustomed to the way things were. She should have asked her mother. Rachel would have been able to find her one, but it just felt like another step towards leaving behind her childhood.

She shook her head, smiling at the girl. She took a seat at the vanity. "Right then. Come and help me prepare for bed."

"Of course, Your Grace."

Anne moved to help her out of her fine gown. "Did you enjoy your wedding?" she asked.

"Of course. It was perfect."

"I'm glad. I already unpacked your wardrobe."

Lilian couldn't help but smile at the pride in her voice.

"Do you have any preference on what you'd like to wear tomorrow?"

"I don't think so. You said you had a chance to unpack my things, I'm sure I'll be content with whatever you choose."

"Are you sure?"

"You are my lady's maid. Part of your job is planning my outfits for various outings, is it not?"

"Yes, but I didn't think you'd want me to start right away."

"Why not? It gives me a chance to see some of your style and how you see my style. I look forward to seeing what you choose."

"As you like." Anne's hands practically shook in excitement as she unlaced Lilian's stays, leaving her in her simple white shift with a small, scalloped lace trim and a pale purple silk ribbon running through the neckline. She motioned to the vanity stool. "Please have a seat, so I can take care of your hair, Ma'am."

Lilian complied, and the girl got to work.

"How do you like your hair while you sleep? Up to curl it, braided, or down?"

"How do you think I would like it?"

"Is this a trick question, Ma'am?"

Lilian chuckled at her maid's earnest face. "Nothing of the sort. I simply have always gone with what my mother's maid thought was best, so I was curious to get your opinion."

Anne hummed. "Honestly, I find it hard to sleep on curls, and your hair seems to have some natural volume. I would go with a braid. It keeps it out of the way, and it's significantly more comfortable."

"That sounds lovely. Let's go with that."

Anne's eyes lit up. "Thank you! I'm so glad I gave the right answer!" She froze, shrinking back. "Please forgive my outburst. It wasn't very professional."

Lilian couldn't help but laugh. "No, it was all right. Actually, it was nice to see. I am so glad to see you are happy to be here. It's nice to get to see some of your personality. We are going to spend an awful lot of time together, after all."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

The pair lapsed into silence while Anne worked on her hair. It wasn't long before she spoke again.

"Once your honeymoon is over, I would ask you to instruct me on how you like to keep your itinerary."

Lilian nodded, forcing her smile. "Of course, though I will warn you, I don't plan on going out much."

"That's all right. I was told in my interview that the family tends to spend most evenings at home."

"And you are not disappointed? I'm sure you spent some time honing skills that may now go to waste."

Anne smiled. "I am more than content, I assure you. I worked for His Grace before I was trained as a lady's maid. He was the best employer I'd ever had. I am delighted to return to Pembroke House after all these years."

"Well, we are delighted to have you here."

"Thank you, Your Grace."

After a while, Anne set the brush down and then took a step back. "Will that be all for tonight, Your Grace?"

"Yes, Anne, thank you. You are dismissed for the night."

Anne gave another curtsy and then slipped out of the room, leaving Lilian alone in her new room.

"This place is too big," she mumbled to herself, climbing under the thick blankets.

She hadn't been lying when she told Louisa she was tired, and there was no better proof than just how fast she drifted off that night.

The next morning, Lilian woke up, lying there for a while until Anne entered with a breakfast tray.

"Oh! Good morning, Your Grace. I didn't expect you to wake up so early, or I would have come sooner."

"You are perfectly fine. I only woke up a moment ago." Lilian shook her head.

"Well, either way, I brought you breakfast." Anne set the tray in front of her. "Once you are done eating, I can help you dress. I was thinking of your tea green day dress if that sounds all right."

"Like I said last night, I trust your judgment. That dress sounds perfect."

"As you wish. I'll go and prepare today's attire. I will return shortly."

Anne bobbed another curtsy, then Lilian was once again alone. She sighed, picking at her food until Anne returned sometime later with the garments in hand.

The pair chatted as Lilian was dressed before Anne left her again, and Lilian had little choice but to try and figure out what she was going to do with her day.

Lilian decided to take the time to get used to the layout of her new home. With a confidence she didn't feel, she strolled through the corridors, taking everything in.

It wasn't long before she ended up in a part of the house she didn't recognize.

Suddenly, a door swung open inches in front of her. She skidded to a stop just before it slammed into her.

Frederic stepped out. When his eyes fell on her, he frowned. "What are you doing in this part of the house?"

"I was just going for a walk to explore."

He hummed. "The only thing over here is my study and my chambers. There's nothing for you in this wing."

"Oh, I hadn't realized it was your space. Although, well, I suppose the whole place is your space."

She expected him to say something at that point, but he didn't. He simply looked down at her for a long moment.

Only when the silence had stretched on for far too long did he ask, "Did you need something?"

Lilian couldn't help the way her face fell. "No, I suppose not."

"Well then, excuse me." He brushed past her, heading down the hall.

"Wait," she called after him before she could think better of it.

He paused with a sigh, reluctantly turning to face her. "Yes?"

"I was simply wondering if I would see you for dinner."

"I'm afraid not. I have business to attend to."

"Business? But it's our honeymoon. Surely it can wait a few days."

"If it could wait a few days, I would handle it in a few days. Now, if you'll excuse me."

He turned and continued walking without sparing her a second glance.

For a moment, Lilian just stared after him before squaring her shoulders and continuing down the hall.

Sure enough, that night when she sat down for supper, Frederic was nowhere to be seen.

Louisa sighed. "Lilian, do you know where my son is? It is very rude of him to miss your first dinner in your new home."

"He said he had some business to attend to."

"Honestly, that boy! He promised me he would slow down when he got married. I'm so sorry. He isn't neglecting you, is he?"

"No," Lilian found herself saying before she could think about it. "He has been wonderful. There was simply an emergency. It couldn't be helped, unfortunately."

Louisa frowned. "All right, as long as you're sure."

"I am. He is giving me everything I could have hoped for from this marriage."

Louisa shook her head. "It's only been a day, but I understand the sentiment. That being said, I do want you to get everything you hoped for. I want you to get everything that the two of you need to be happy. I know it was a love match."

Lilian hoped the Dowager Duchess didn't notice the way she stiffened at the words.

"But you did get married rather fast. I just want the two of you to be as happy as I was with his father."

Lilian's smile tightened. "I'm sure I will be plenty happy."

"I suppose that's all I can hope for. Are you sure the pair of you don't want to go somewhere for the honeymoon?"

"I couldn't ask that of Frederic. I wouldn't want him to get too behind on his work."

"The two of you are married now. You are far more important than any work he could need to do."

"I'm not sure the people living on his land would agree."

The Dowager Duchess chuckled. "I can see what drew him to you. You are a very practical lady. You are going to make a fine Duchess of Pembroke."

Lilian looked away. "He hasn't even told me what will be expected of me as Duchess yet."

"There's plenty of time for that later. For now, you should be focused on getting accustomed to married life. Are you happy with your room?"

"Yes, it's lovely. Thank you."

"No need to thank me. I want you to feel at home here. I'm sure Frederic feels the same way."

Lilian forced a smile. "I appreciate it nonetheless."

"How do you find Anne?"

"She seems wonderful."

"I'm so glad to hear it. She used to work for us, you know. When I heard she became a lady's maid, I simply couldn't resist."

"I'm glad you chose her. I think we're going to get on very well."

"I hope so. I was surprised when I learned you didn't have one to bring with you at your age."

"Yes, well, there always seemed to be other priorities. After all, my father… well, you're aware of the situation."

"Yes, and while I understand, I want you to know that Frederic and now your happiness are my only priority in life. Anything I can do to make you happy or comfortable, you need only say the word."

"I appreciate that, I really do, but it truly isn't necessary."

"And I assure you, it very much is."

"Thank you, I will consider it."

"Please do. I only want you to be happy here."

"I'm sure I will be. You don't need to worry so much."

The pair lapsed into silence as they finished their meal.