Chapter 20

TWENTY

‘Good morning. You must be Leo Golding? Hi, I am Maggie Field. Head of IT here. Great to meet you.' The man standing in front of us at the table had a well-groomed look about him, a navy suit and brown shoes, the tie wasn't too busy and the watch not too pretentious. He put his backpack and coat on a chair and shook my hand, looking me in the eye. I can't remember the first impression I had, but I thought the handshake was strong. The gentleman before had had a palm that was unusually damp, which made me think he'd not dried his hands properly after going to the bathroom, unless he was extremely nervous.

He shook the hands of all the panel in turn, an assortment of HR and people from the board of directors. ‘It's great to be here, many thanks for the opportunity of an interview.'

‘Please take a seat. Is it just Leo? Is it short for something?' I asked very randomly. Jan from HR gave me a strange look. I was in a suit for the day and this was my first ever recruitment interview so I wanted to give off an air of authority, but also look approachable and unscary as whoever we employed would be in my department. ‘Like Leo Messi – he's a Lionel or it could be Leonardo like…'

I was an educated person. I knew famous and cultured Leonardos, I did.

‘The ninja turtle?' I muttered. I scrunched my face up and I was lucky it made him laugh, possibly relax.

‘It's just Leo,' he told us.

‘Do I detect an accent?' I asked him.

‘I'm from Kendal, in the Lake District.'

‘Where the mint cake is from?' I said, quite proud of myself.

‘Indeed,' he told us. ‘I didn't bring any though.'

‘Oh, it wasn't expected but please, if you get the job, that would be a daily prerequisite. I do like cake.'

‘Any cake?' he replied. ‘I make a mean lemon drizzle.'

‘We can plan out a rota,' I joked. We both laughed. Unfortunately, the rest of the interview panel were less interested in the cake chat and looked at me sternly for driving the session off-course. I looked over to them. I'd made an effort; I'd worn a suit. I looked over to Leo and raised my eyebrows and I always remember the look he gave me. It was a look of reassurance. A look that said, I don't think you're a fool. I got the ninja turtle joke. I also like cake. On that alone, I'd have hired him on the spot.

‘So what brings you to London?' a humourless board member who'd already eaten six biscuits asked him, trying to take over where I'd obviously failed.

‘Work, really. It's why I'm here.'

I thought that was funny at least.

‘You've always stayed in the North though,' Jan said, thumbing through his CV, ‘University in Edinburgh, work in Manchester. It's a big move. What attracts you to London?' He looked at me at this point and I remembered being a little embarrassed so I looked down at my interview questions in front of me .

‘There's a wider scope for IT jobs in the South. I'd like to broaden my horizons with a company such as yourselves and I like the way you're using new technologies to adapt to changing operations. I think whoever's steering that is pretty ingenious.'

I blushed at that point. I think that was me but it would have been strange to have put my hand up there and then. He continued to talk about the companies he'd worked for, his experience and extra credentials, and it was all above board. He sounded hugely competent. I was just trying to work out in my head whether he'd fit in the rather rough-edged jigsaw that was Jasper, Frank and myself. Do I mention the basement now?

‘And any questions from you, Maggie?' Jan suddenly asked, turning to me. Oh. They were allowing me to chat. That didn't go so well when I opened the interview.

I pretended to write something on the paper in front of me. ‘Python?' I said randomly. ‘It says here you're proficient in Python, and that's certainly what we need in our department. Any experience of any other programming languages?'

He stopped for a moment to hear me talk shop. ‘I have some experience of C,' he told me. ‘Tricky but certainly easier to use than Malbolge.'

I tipped my head to one side, widening my eyes at the reference. We both laughed and again the panel were quiet. I think Jan was trying to work out if Python and Malbolge were references to body parts.

‘So I'd be working alongside you?' Leo asked me. ‘You said you were head of IT?

‘Yes, I'd be supervising so basically you'd be working…under me,' I said nervously.

And with that, I remember he took a very long sip on a glass of water and I didn't ask any more questions .

‘So you named the foxes after us…' Leo asks me, looking at some photos on my phone, slightly bemused.

‘There were three of them; it kind of made sense,' I say, looking across the table at him. ‘That's the one who bit me,' I point, holding up my thumb with a plaster on it.

‘And which one is me?' he asks.

‘The one on the end, playing it cool,' I tell him and he smiles broadly.

I guess from a layman's perspective, even though we've not labelled it as such, this is a date. A first date. Four years after that first time we met, in that interview, the one and only time I've ever seen him in a suit. And since he joined my department, even though it is the four of us, we've sometimes splintered away from the pack. We've shared chips in the work canteen together, we've eaten sandwiches on a bench in the summer. I think back to all those moments we had together, just the two of us, alone. In lifts, saying goodbye in Tube stations, in the server room working out where plugs go, and in all that time we could have been kissing.

After that kiss, we walked down to the South Bank, one of the best London spots at Christmas – garlands of lights line the path and along the way are wooden huts, set up like a Christmas market, the scents of hog roast and mulled wine drifting through the air. It's a more subdued side of London, couples walking slowly hand in hand to theatres and art galleries, taking in the sparkle of the river and looking up and out over the London Eye and Big Ben. We walked in complete silence, and I smiled, taking in that moment and what it meant until I suggested pizza.

‘Quattro Stagioni to share?' the waiter says, and he places the pizza on a wooden board in front of us. As far as first dates go, Leo's certainly ticking all the boxes. He knew my favourite pizza anyway but he suggested we share and go all in with dough balls, olives and calamari too. It sounded perfect. He even talked of ice cream. And now he sits opposite me by the window, in this Italian restaurant set back from the river, filled to the brim with people but with little Christmas trees and candles on the tables, carols trickling through the chatter. Given this is all very spontaneous, it's the only place I want to be right now.

‘So which seasons would you like?' I ask him, the pizza cutter in my hand.

‘Lady's choice,' he says. It's bizarre how he looks so different to me at the moment. The blue eyes, the scruffy hair, but I find myself looking at the curve of his collarbone through his green knitted jumper, the lines of his neck.

‘Nope, you're the one driving tomorrow. You came down to meet me.' He points at the olives and the mushrooms and I smile.

‘He's a man of excellent taste,' I say.

‘The best,' he mocks, looking over at me. Oh, he's talking about me. I blush.

‘So I need to apologise…' Leo tells me, turning his plate and looking down at his pizza.

I furrow my brow to work out why. ‘How come?'

‘After the other night…' My body tenses to hear him talk about it in open conversation. So far we'd avoided it with banter and knowing looks. ‘We fell asleep and you messaged me to say hello and I…I wasn't ignoring you,' he continues.

‘I didn't think you were,' I tell him. ‘But you did leave a…hefty pause.'

‘I guess I was worried we'd overstepped. I didn't want you to lose respect for me. I didn't want to jeopardise our friendship,' he says sincerely.

I have a feeling I know what he means. This could end up one of two ways and, if this wasn't going to work out, we'd still be colleagues and stuck in that basement for an eternity. Never mind my own lingering dilemma over whether I'd possibly have to make him redundant. I'm not sure any early stages of a relationship could handle that.

‘I appreciate that, I really do. It was a moment we got caught up in and I am sorry but not sorry. It was good moment.'

‘A good moment?' he repeats, laughing.

I bite into a mouthful of molten cheese to try and avoid answering and make him laugh as I puff out my cheeks trying to control the temperature. He hands me a glass of water and I take a prolonged sip.

‘So the pause was you panicking then?' I ask.

‘I wasn't alone. I panicked with Frank. In fact, we both panicked together.'

‘Because of me?'

‘Oh no. I panicked because of you. Frank panicked because he also saw parts of you that he shouldn't, but he was also in a tizzy because Norah?—'

I clap my hands together to hear my matchmaking may have gone well. ‘Did they kiss?' I ask.

‘Have you not met Frank? Of course not. But they had fun and agreed to meet up for dim sum. He was beside himself with worry about what to do next so we sat there together in my bed, and we ate wedding cake and strategised.'

‘You strategised? I enquire.

‘Yes, Frank and I went online and bought him some new trousers, a hoodie and some very cool trainers,' he tells me. ‘You'll not recognise him next time you see him.'

I nod.

‘And what about you? What's your strategy when it comes to me? I have to say I am not a computer game, just putting that out there,' I tell him, taking a ring of calamari. ‘I'm pretty easy.'

Leo chokes on a piece of pizza and a mushroom flies out to my side of the table.

‘I meant if I were a game, I would be easy to work out. No hidden levels, no tricks. I'm… '

‘The same Maggie I've been falling for over these last four years,' he says, and there's a pause. Four years. He smiles and looks down at his pizza, realising he's said too much.

‘Four years would assume you knew when we met?' I ask him, laughing.

He shrugs. ‘Well, I'd only been in London three weeks. I was like some wide-eyed lad from the sticks, walked into this swanky office then there was you. I'd never met a girl like you.'

‘A girl who knew how to write code?' I joke.

‘A girl who knew the names of the ninja turtles?' he says, and I smile. He's remembered that moment too. ‘You were funny but smart and I half accepted the job because I fancied you from the interview,' he admits, blushing. ‘I mean if you'd showed me the office, I may have said otherwise. There was a company in Angel that were going to give me free gym membership.'

I laugh, holding onto my glass at the table, watching as he gazes out of the window to the Thames, the soft light reflecting off his face. I hired you. Please don't be the one I have to fire, too. I take a sip of my drink to suppress that thought coming to mind. ‘And you never said anything, in all that time?' I ask him.

‘Bad timing,' he says, taking a bite of pizza. ‘When we met, you were dating someone. Then I half dated that girl who lived in my building…'

‘The one who didn't wear socks and who didn't trust buses?' I remembered the story he told us over a morning cup of tea.

‘The very one. We were always dating other people. And by then a year had passed, and it never felt like the right time…' he tells me.

‘You only saw me five days a week, nine-to-five.'

‘I'm a lad who likes to take his time…'

‘Really…?'

‘Really.'

He smiles, and I know that smile because it was the same one he used on me two nights ago, sitting bare-chested in his bed, almost daring me to compete, to take something else off and reveal more to him. I bite my lip to remember his words when he whispered down the phone about all the things he'd like to do to me.

‘And now, here we are…' I say softly.

‘Is this a problem with work?' he asks me. ‘I know some companies don't like colleagues to date. Not that we're dating each other,' he says, putting a hand to the air. ‘Do we need to speak to HR?'

From imagining our phone call, I'm suddenly snapped into the room with his questions. ‘HR?'

‘Maybe see if there's some sort of relationships policy,' he states. ‘Frank will know. He's very au fait with our contracts.'

‘Let me do that,' I tell him, intervening a little too quickly. ‘Maybe we can take this slowly, one day at a time, see what it is first? Get through Christmas?' Even bringing up HR makes the air stick in my throat. Please don't talk to them because I've pushed that big decision I have to make into the back of my mind, one that involves you. What am I doing? If I fire you then what we've started here will be ruined, if I don't it will be assumed I didn't because we're seeing each other. If there was ever a bad time in these last four years to start something, then maybe this is it.

‘OK,' he says, laughing, biting into another piece of pizza. ‘We'll take it slow, no problem, boss.'

‘You might have to stop calling me boss too when we're out of the office,' I warn him.

He laughs. ‘We'll see.'

‘I am not bossy.'

‘You could be in different scenarios.'

‘Really?'

He looks at me and I reach over and put a hand to his. This is so confusing, possibly not what I should be doing at all but there's almost a magnetic attraction there, to get to know him more.

‘Um, excuse me,' a voice suddenly says, interrupting the moment as the diner next to us leans over. ‘I don't want to be rude, but is that your phone?' she says.

Oh. Shit. I hear my ringtone, slightly embarrassed it's going off and ruining all these cosy pizza dates. Also, I'm slightly embarrassed I was so caught in the moment that I didn't hear it.

‘I'm so sorry,' I tell the couple next to us. I scramble around in my handbag to find it. ‘I should have had it on mute,' I say, but Leo doesn't seem too fazed and continues to dive into the food. I look at the number on the display and see Gemma's name come up.

‘Can I just take this…? I'll tell her I'm at dinner,' I ask him and he nods.

‘Gem, can't talk. Can I call you back in about an hour?'

I hear a clatter on the other end of the phone. ‘HELLO!' she squeals on speakerphone and I hold the phone away from my ear; Leo is looking on curiously.

‘Gem, I'm having dinner out, is all OK?' I say, putting a finger to my ear, conscious that this is bad date protocol.

‘MAGGIE! No, it's not. Look I know you're busy and I am sorry and will be sorry forever but I've got to get Bella to A&E,' she moans.

The hackles on the back of my neck stand to attention. ‘Crap, is she OK?'

‘She's got a piece of Lego stuck up her ruddy nose. I'm frantic here. Nate's on shift. I'm trying to find someone to sit with Paige and Harry so we all don't have to traipse down there. Could you get over? Are you local?'

I sit there and look across at Leo. I hope he doesn't think this call has been planned so I can make my escape. ‘Can you give me half an hour?'

‘LOVE YOU. THANK YOU! '

She hangs up the phone and I look across the table. ‘I may need to go.'

‘Is everything OK?' he says, frowning.

‘A really good friend has to get her kid to the hospital. I have to help.'

‘Is she OK?' he asks, and I swoon at how authentic his worry feels.

‘I hope so. I'm sorry,' I explain.

He nods slowly, smiling. ‘Hey, I've waited four years for this. It's all good.' I don't know where tonight would have led. I'd hoped for another kiss, maybe more, but maybe we take the time to make this work. Yet maybe the evening doesn't have to end here.

‘Nonsense,' I say getting out my purse. ‘Ask them for a box and get all your taxi apps working. You should come along too.'