Chapter 7

Ihad looked for him on the street like a paparazzi stalking Taylor Swift, but I had yet to see Justin again. I had hoped to bump into him and get to know him a little better, maybe invite him to grab a beer or a coffee—anything to be in his presence again. It was stupid. I couldn't bring myself to message him on… I mean, come on. Instagram?

But he was the one who suggested it. Did that mean anything at all? No – probably not. When we were talking at the grill, though – it had felt real. He wasn't just a twenty-three-year-old alpha-hole, even if that is what he looked like. No, he was deeper than that. Our conversation was more than I had expected it to be, and I had thought about it – well, obsessed over it for the last week.

Fifteen years separated us, and I had no real illusions of him ever falling in love with me or anything actually ever happening between us. But just to be around him felt… It felt good. I felt good.

Fifteen years – close enough. Damn. Not to mention that he's straight, even if he is hanging out with The Pleasant's elite gays. He worked with Crystal, so… Of course, he was. Who wouldn't want him to be a part of their group? They were so much closer in age to him that it made sense. Their token straight friend – Crystal, didn't count. She was more of a gay man than any of her friends. A queen bee that seemed to rule over all of them. At least, that's what it looked like from my distant seat across from them whenever we rarely happened to be in the same place.

I did find Justin on Insta, though. But I couldn't message – I mean… no.

Damn.

He really had a thing against shirts, as did most of the other boys in his photos. Frat brothers, I assumed. There were pics of him at the gym – no shirt. Pics of him playing various sports – no shirt. Pics of him camping or swimming – no shirt. It was like a gay porn site designed especially for me.

The Justin Dixon appreciation site for older perverts who wanted to ogle him over and over again was a treasure trove of photos. I was glad that he couldn't see how often I had been stalking his profile because it had become multiple times a day. That beautiful face and immaculate body were… Yeah, I was obsessed. I was going to make a fool out of myself if I wasn't careful.

I had to be careful.

I had to find a way to be friendly and not become a moron in his presence. I'm sure we'd say hi on the street as he got in his car, but he and I… It would be a miracle if we actually became friends. Almost twenty years of life hung between us like a chasm. I wanted to be his friend. It was more desire than I had felt in a long time. I wanted… more. It wasn't a feeling I was used to experiencing. I hated it. I was reveling in it, even if it was fearfully. I had become a Justin junkie.

Liza Minnelli yawned and stretched herself out on the couch. Even she was bored with me. She was always bored with me when I sat at my desk to work. She was even more annoyed now that I kept opening my phone just to stare at Justin over and over again. She preferred scratching and rubbing. I was walking her more than normal, though – it made her tired.

I put my phone down on the arm of the couch. I needed to get out of the house and go do something. I really should have gone to the store and bought more frozen meals since I was about out. No, scratch that. I should not buy more frozen meals. I should get actual food and cook. Maybe ditch the frozen pizza for a salad?

Actually, I was kind of hungry. I could nosh on something. So, maybe I could kill two birds with one stone?

And that's how I found myself in the car and driving by Margie's Coffee Shop, which was now called Crystal's since she had been the owner for a while. I had no idea when she changed the name. I drove by it so much, like everyone else in town, that I didn't notice the new sign until someone pointed it out to me. It's weird what we actually notice or don't. Sometimes, when I'm not thinking about it, I swear I still see the sign that says Margie's, even though I know it's not there. Just my expectation of what should be, not what really is.

The mind is weird. Mine is an oddity of its own. I cruised by, slowing down to peer through the window to see if I saw Justin. I didn't see him, but the place was almost empty since the lunch rush was over. Maybe he wasn't working? Did it matter? I was still hungry.

I drove around the block and slowed to a crawl as I stared into the window once again. There he was behind the counter, and I swear he looked up and saw me being a total creeper. Maybe he wouldn't know it was me. I pulled into a parking spot a little way down and took a quick glance in the mirror.

I never liked what I saw, and today was no exception. My temples were starting to grey. I had lines around my eyes, and that seemed to happen overnight. Old… I wasn't twenty-three. Damn, I was almost in college when the little shit was born.

Well, I was here, so I might as well go in and get something to eat. Besides, I felt this pull towards Justin and now that I knew he was inside, I couldn't have stopped myself. I had nothing to lose but my dignity.

Thank God Zane wasn't here.

I opened the door and glanced quickly around. An older couple sat at a two-top, having some lunch and ignoring each other as they stared at their phones. They must be tourists. People here in The Pleasant were unlike the tourists we saw throughout the year. Sure, we sometimes lost ourselves in an Instagram or TikTok stalking session, but when we were together, we were always present. A slower life was what you lived here for. It was refreshing and sometimes stifling, depending on the moment.

"David?" Justin said as he walked through the swinging doors to the kitchen, I presumed. "I wondered when I'd see you again. Are you here for coffee or something else?"

Did I hear that correctly? Was that innuendo? Fuck – he knew I had a crush on him, didn't he? Or was I just living in my own fearful fantasy? Probably the latter. I stood there staring at him with my mouth agape and swallowed.

"I was hungry and thought I'd… I drove by and… Lunch, I guess."

"Have a seat up here at the counter if you want. I could use a little company since it's so slow. How's Liza doing? I haven't seen her on a walk, and I was ready to give some belly scratches."

"She's… you know… Liza, I guess. Old and cantankerous like me."

"Oh, yeah. Ancient." He grinned and handed me a menu. "You need this or do you already know what you want? I think only tourists actually look at it."

"I'll have the Margie special."

"A burger and fries' type of guy, huh? Do you want that medium? I mean, I've seen you grill, and I believe you think that medium is well done."

"I told you that was… Yes, medium would be great. That was an accident. I wasn't used to having someone hog into my space." I grinned foolishly.

"I don't have boundaries. You try living in a frat house for two years and see what it gets you. Fries or a salad?" He smirked.

"Fries, and can you ask for them to be very well done."

"No flaccid fries for you, sir. I'll make sure they are stiff and crunchy."

I gulped.

"And to drink? Please don't make me do a fancy coffee drink. I just cleaned the frother."

"Damn, and I was gonna order a cappuccino," I said teasingly. I swear I even batted my eyelashes. I was in this shit and deeply.

His eyes widened, and a determined look came over his face. "Really?"

"No. I'll take a Mountain Dew, please, Sir."

"Sir?" he growled, and my brain shut down. "I could start to like that." He turned and walked back through the swinging doors and disappeared from view. I sat there trying to wrap my head around the possibility that he was actually – maybe – flirting with me. I mean, I had to be reading this thing completely wrong. It was all inside my head the way that I wanted it to be. He was just a young guy that was totally having fun. He probably didn't even know the way I was taking our exchange.

"Thanks!" He walked back through the swinging doors and stood in front of me. "So, where were we? Oh, yeah! A Mountain Dew. You know that soda is horrible for you, right?" He winked as he grabbed a glass from underneath the bar and turned to the soda fountain machine behind him. "The amount of sugar in this stuff is insane."

"Well, something is gonna get you in the end, anyway. I might as well enjoy what I enjoy while I'm here."

"That's very stoic of you." He furrowed his brows.

"I know that I need to… take better care of myself. I mean, I'm not in my twenties anymore. I should eat better, but I've never seen the joy of just cooking for myself when I can throw something in the microwave. It's cheaper and faster."

"And probably not healthy at all. Our body is a temple." He smirked. "Listen, I'm just giving you shit. I eat really well because Mom cooks most of the time. But when I lived in the frat house, the amount of pizza I ate..."

"It wouldn't surprise me. You lived in a frat house." I scoffed – and the fantasy continued inside my head.

"Yeah, but I had to put in extra time at the gym the next day – which was almost every day." He chuckled. "Do you do any kind of working out?"

"Oh, God, no. I hate going to the gym."

"You walk Liza, but I've seen her walk, and it's pretty slow. You could just walk around the neighborhood. Even that is exercise if you don't stop to smell the flowers every ten steps."

"Yeah… I know."

"Time? Boredom?"

"How did you know?"

"That's what everyone says. Walking is boring… It doesn't have to be. Put on good music and enjoy the day. Point Pleasant is beautiful if you get outside and experience it. If you don't like walking alone, find someone to walk with you."

"None of my friends are going to walk with me."

"Then I will." He held out his hand. "Give me your phone."

I reached into my pocket and pulled it out. I glanced at it to make sure I didn't have his profile on Instagram open before handing it to him. That would have been awkward.

"This is my phone number." He pushed a button, and his phone rang. "Now I have yours. Expect a call later this week, and I'll walk around the neighborhood with you if that's what you need."

"I feel like you're saying I'm fat."

He threw his head back and laughed. "You are not fat – maybe a little soft from sitting down so much. But walking just a few days a week will keep you active. Besides, it will be fun for me too. I don't have a lot of friends here, remember? We can talk, and I will keep you moving. I take exercise very seriously. You've seen me shirtless, so you know. When I tell you to catch up – I mean it."

"You're saying you're pushy?" I frowned.

"I'm saying that I can be your exercise dom." He smirked, and I almost passed out and fell off the stool.

"That's very specific."

"I take my job seriously."

A bell from the back made him turn around and exit back into the kitchen. A few seconds later, he walked out with my giant burger and fries piled on the plate. "Enjoy this. Soon, I may insist you have that salad instead of the fries every now and then. It"s healthier – and no, I am not saying you're fat. I actually think you look pretty damn good. I'd never know you were almost in your forties."

"Stop." I blushed. The sound of the door opening behind me told me that someone was about to take his attention away from me, and I got instantly jealous.

"Enjoy your food. Looks like I have a group. God, I hope they don't want a fancy coffee."

"Good luck."

I watched him hustle and bustle around the counter as he made eight fancy coffees while I ate. Every now and then, he would glance over at me and refill my soda or wink knowingly as I tried to eat as daintily as possible. He was taking their food orders after making their coffees when I laid cash down on the bar and headed to the door.

"David?" he called and held up his hand to his ear and mouthed, "Call me."

I walked out of the coffee shop with wings on my heels. He wanted to spend time with me. Sure, it may not be romantic, but just to be in his presence was… all I wanted.

I smiled through the rest of the day.