Chapter 6

"What the actual fuck?" I stormed into John's room and stared at my twin as he slouched in his chair, playing his stupid X-Box. "If you want to borrow my car, you need to fucking ask."

"You were asleep, man. What the hell, Justin? Have you ever heard of knocking?"

"Don't try to turn this around on me."

"I think you've done a great job of turning everything around on yourself, bro. Point your finger where it belongs."

"This is about my car. My car, John – not yours. You said you didn't need one when we went to college."

"No one drives in Boston."

"You're not in Boston. Sorry that Point Pleasant doesn't have a tram system. But that doesn't mean you just take my car. I could have had a Task Rabbit thing this morning."

"Did you?"

"No. But…"

"Then no harm, no foul, bro. What got your panties in a wad?"

"You did - when you took my fucking car. Jesus Christ, John. When did you get to be such an asshole?"

"I'm not the one breaking and entering to scream at me about something that wasn't even a problem, dude. Look, I'm sorry that you fucked up, but that's not on me, so…" There it was. We had been dancing around this since I came back.

"Just because you graduated in three years doesn't make you…"

"I never said it made me better than you. Facts are just facts, dude. I studied hard, and you drank harder than I studied. I told you not to join a frat."

"You've always thought you were better than me."

"I was when it came to grades and school. But you were better at other things. This isn't a contest. Man, you need to smoke more weed. You really need to chill out."

"That's all you've done since moving home. When are you going to start doing something other than getting high and playing video games?"

"Justin, man… The parents said I could take a year off to decompress after getting my degree in three years. You know I'm applying to grad schools. You're just mad because you had to get a job. I don't because the only thing I do here in town is stay in my room and eat dinner. I earned that. I'm sorry that you had to get a job to help you finish school, but that's not my problem. Stop trying to take out your anger, bro. I'm not your enemy."

"I'm not… I didn't say you were my… Goddammit, John! Just don't take my car without asking. If I'm not using it, you know I'll say yes. That's all I'm asking, ok? Ask me." He always made me feel guilty for how he made me feel.

"If you want me to wake you up… fine. I just thought you hadn't been sleeping too well, so…" He set the controller down and looked up at me. "You know I know, bro."

"Yeah."

"You wanna talk about it? We haven't really had a good… You've been kind of standoffish since you got back."

"Have I?" I shrugged. "A lot has changed."

"True. But you're still my twin. We know, man – better than others."

"I know. I'm sorry, I'm… I'm just annoyed all the time, and I guess it's easier to take it out on you. But you really haven't made it any easier to be back here."

"You kind of came in all assholey at Christmas, bro. I was just giving you some space. Maybe that was the wrong thing to do, but… I guess it was. I should have just known that, but we really haven't seen each other for more than a few days since we both went to college."

"Yeah, I know. I got all wrapped up in the frat and having a good time with my new friends, and you were burning the candle at both ends as you studied your ass off. I guess I was just jealous when all this happened that you did that, and I was just a fuck up."

"Bro – you are not and never have been a fuck up. You did what a lot of kids do when they go to college. I was never like you when it came to being the center of attention. I preferred to be left alone. The only reason I was even semi-popular was because I was your twin." He gave me a big hug, and I melted into his embrace. "You're a fucking rock star, and you know it."

"Yeah, sometimes. This feels good. We should really hang out sometime away from the house, John. We could just go see a movie or something. But you really do need to get out of your room."

"And you need to get out of your head." He let go and took a step back as he grabbed my arms and held me in place. "But a flick sounds good. I mean, you're the one who has shit to do, so just tell me when. Cool? I also have really great gummies, so…"

I nodded and grinned as I stood with the only person in this world who had always known everything about me. He drove me crazy sometimes. But I had forgotten that he had always been the person who had my back, no matter what. Maybe we hadn't drifted that far apart?

"I am proud of you. You know that, right?" I asked seriously. I know how hard he studied.

"I do. Jealousy is a bitch, my brother. But we've seemed to manage."

"Why don't you go out with me and my… new friends for a drink soon? It would do you good to meet some people since you're gonna be here for a while."

"Sure. Why not? I'm sure Mom would love for me to come out of my room." He chuckled. "You never meet a stranger, do you? Never have."

I grinned stupidly. "Speaking of… I met one of our neighbors. He's nice."

John chuckled. "You mean, he's cute."

"I mean, he's nice and… He's handsome, I guess."

"How old is he?" John tilted his head like a puppy, and I instantly thought about Liza.

"Late thirties, maybe."

"Did you ever tell anyone about…" He frowned.

"No, and I don't see a reason to tell anyone. I told you that in strict confidence."

"I've kept your secret for over a year, Bro. I'll take it to my grave if you want me to. It's not like you murdered someone, man. It was just a thing that went sideways."

"I ruined a man's life."

"You didn't know, and it also ruined yours. That's on him and has nothing to do with you unless you didn't tell me everything."

"I did, I… I just feel like shit about it."

"You're a good guy, Justin. That's why you feel like shit. But you have to let that shit go, bro. There's no reason for you to hold onto it now. It's over and done, and all you can do is… Well, move on, I guess. I will kick your ass if you ever try that shit again. He lied to you. In the end, bro – not your fault."

"He lied to everyone."

"And caused you to spiral. You can blame the frat and partying too hard, and I know that's all true. But that fucked up situation didn't help. It made it worse. You being you, well, you didn't try to find help. You just tried on your own, and…"

"It didn't go too well? Yeah, I know."

"Wanna play?"

"I… No, I can't. I have a class in fifteen minutes, and I've gotta hop on Zoom."

"After?"

"I have to paint someone's fence this afternoon," I groaned.

"Ah, task rabbit thing, huh? I'd offer to help, but I've got zombies to kill." He picked back up his controller and fell into his chair. "But seriously, bro - anytime. Just knock, ok?"

I chuckled and turned around, shutting the door behind me.