21. Everly

CHAPTER 21

EVERLY

O K.

That was all I got? I'd told him I wanted to talk to him and all I'd gotten was ‘OK'?

Had I expected that Urban Briggs would fall all over himself to get to me the minute I got my head out of my own ass? Well, no. I hadn't. But I'd thought he'd at least say he wanted to talk to me or see me. Something.

Instead, I'd gotten ‘OK.'

Sure, it'd taken too many days to pull my head from my ass. Or, in other words, allow Jade to get through to me. Sometimes, I wondered why she was my friend. Not really, but every once in a while… I was a lot to deal with. The family shit she'd been th rough with me over the years. The heartbreaks she'd nursed me through. Now me getting in my own way when there was a man who might actually be good for me.

That wasn't to say that I hadn't been there for her. I'd shown up to her house the two times she'd had her heart broken. We'd talked through the night and eaten ice cream and made lists on why she was too good for whoever had broken up with her.

It was give and take. That was how best friends worked.

Now… it might all be too late.

"Well?" Jade asked me the next morning at camp. Baseball camp was over for a few weeks and a new group of kids would be starting the next session. That meant no players today and it wouldn't have been Urban's day anyway.

There was no way I'd see him today unless I made it happen.

"He said ‘OK.' That's it."

She was standing outside of the art room in a camp T-shirt, white shorts, and Converse tennis shoes, looking like the epitome of summer. Her hair was pulled into a bun with little strands having fallen out .

Jade was the only person I knew who'd wear white shorts to do art. But she wouldn't care if she got paint on them. It was just the way she was. Any sacrifice for the art.

"That's it?" She put her hands on her hips, like she was about to give someone the business. It wasn't me, so it had to be Urban.

"Yeah." I shrugged. "Listen. It's my fault. We established that. I should've given him a chance to explain. He doesn't owe me anything. I made assumptions and let the walls I've carefully built up stop me from hearing him out." I looked her in the eye. "It's my fault. If he doesn't want to talk to me, it's my fault."

I walked over to the cooler that was sitting nearby waiting for water to be loaded into it. I was taking the kids to the water this morning because it was so warm, they were going to need two cool offs. First, we were going to hike through the woods and talk about the science of nature. Science wasn't my thing, but I enjoyed nature. Good thing I wouldn't be leading this and was there as an extra counselor.

"That's such bullshit," she spat like she was seriously angry. "Yes, you did do all those things, but I think that man loves you, so he should—"

"Whoa." I stopped right in front of her. "Don't go talk about that love stuff. No one said anything about love."

Pursing her lips, she cocked her head to the side. "Everly, Urban can't tell you he loves you. He promised not to say anything that would freak you out until you said it first."

Well, damn. She was right. Good thing I'd told her everything. I'd forgotten that promise in the mess of my own thoughts and emotions.

Did he love me? Could he love me?

I'd been denying all of my feelings for so long that I wasn't sure I could recognize feelings in anyone else anymore. I couldn't trust what I thought I saw.

"I have an idea," I told her. "There's a game tonight. We should go. Maybe I can catch him after. If he doesn't want to see me anymore, that's fine. I fucked up, but at least this way, I'll know."

"I love this. I'll get us tickets."

I'd let Jade get the tickets rather than ask Camden. I might've trusted Camden not to tell her brother things now but I wasn't one hundred percent sure yet. And this was something I thought she might not be able to keep from him.

"I should do that," I countered. "I'm going to need to be down by the field. Those are probably sold out, so I'll have to go a resale site and they'll probably be expensive."

"Pft." She brushed me off with her fingers then turned me back toward the cooler. "You're going to be in the woods all day. I'll take care of it. You know I don't care about the money."

Because it was easy not to worry about what you were spending when you had money.

"Fine," I agreed because she was right. I couldn't buy tickets from the middle of the woods. We barely got cell reception out there and mostly used walkie-talkies.

"Go. I'll take care of it."

After waving my thank you at her, I grabbed the cooler and went to the ice machine to load the thing up. Water was right next the machine, so I got it ready just in time for the campers to show up.

Even with the heat, it was a beautiful day in nature. The kids loved the lessons on everything from moss to the animals they might see. Thankfully, we didn't see some of the scarier specimens, but the black squirrels excited the kids. It wasn't often that they got to see them since we lived in a city .

Then we spent an hour at the water before lunch and filled the afternoon with so much fun that when we went back to the pond, they were all almost too tired to swim. They did float around and splash, though.

I got drenched by some of that splashing, but it had felt good and I wasn't mad at all.

Even driving home wet didn't bother me.

Jade had insisted on picking me up for the game. As she'd put it, if things went right, Urban would be taking me home and she didn't want me to have to worry about my own car. That was fine by me, but I had serious doubts any of that would be happening.

"This place is huge," Jade said when the field first came into view. "This many people like baseball?"

I snorted. "Apparently." She wasn't into sports, either, and it was her first game.

"I wouldn't have imagined," she said. I turned us the right toward where our seats would be. "I mean, it always looks like a lot of people on TV, but… Wait, how many people does this hold?"

I had to think about that, but finally, I came up with the answer. "The last game I was at said it was a sold-out crowd of, like, forty-one thousand. "

Her feet stopped and so did she. "Forty-one thousand? Holy shit."

I snickered. "I know. It can be overwhelming. Our seats are this way." I turned and started walking again with the hope that we'd get to our seats while the team was still warming up.

"Look at you knowing your way around."

I shook my head. "I know the general direction our seats are. I wouldn't exactly call that knowing my way around."

"We'll disagree, then."

After work, I'd gone home and showered. Since I was going to a baseball game in this heat, I'd put on distressed jean shorts, a T-shirt, and Converses. Jade was dressed basically the same. Though she had her blonde hair down, I'd pulled mine back into a wavy ponytail.

"Before we go down there, I have to stop at this stand." I pointed to the one nearest us selling T-shirts.

"Yes, right. All part of the plan."

She waited while I bought the Knights T-shirt with Urbans' number on it then hurried into the nearest restroom to change into it. Then I put the old T-shirt into the bag they'd given me. Due to rules at the stadium, I had my phone in one pocket and a small wallet in the other. Bags from the outside weren't allowed.

"Ready?" she asked. I nodded because my nerves were too on edge to speak.

This was an unusual move for me. I hadn't tried with a man for years and now… I was going to go all in, not knowing if he even wanted me to.

If I didn't, I'd regret it the rest of my life.

Did the scene at his apartment look bad? Yeah, it did. But I should've let him explain and trust that he wouldn't lie to me. Trust was such a hard thing for me and me not knowing how to do it might've cost me a man that I… had feelings for.

So what explained the woman in the hallway? I didn't know and really didn't love any of the scenarios that I'd come up with. I had to hope it was a fan that showed up at his apartment or something similar. Anything but what I worried about.

Jade had done an excellent job of picking tickets. We were right down by the Knights' dugout. My timing was right. The guys were still out on the field, stretching and warming up. When they started jogging toward the dugout, I twisted my fingers together.

"Don't worry," Jade said while patting my hands. "It'll be all right. "

Would it?

I didn't know.

Then I saw him and my heart beat wildly out of control, forcing my breaths to come faster. Seeing Urban shouldn't have made me nervous, but given the fact that he could react in a very bad way, it did.

As he got to the steps of the dugout, he slowed to a walk. He scanned across the stands near him, flying over me as if he didn't even see faces. Then he stopped and his gaze came right back to me.

He paused quickly and all I could do was stare. Then I raised my hand in front of my chest to wave, but he didn't wave back. Instead, his jaw tightened before he went into the dugout.

"He hates me," I said quietly.

"No," she said, but she chuckled and I couldn't see what would be so funny. "He definitely doesn't. He's surprised you're here, but he knows he needs to focus on the game."

And that was the explanation I was going to go with.

"Hey," Camden said suddenly right beside me as she dropped into the empty seat there. I'd hoped no one was going to sit there in case I needed a quick getaway, but if someone was, then I was glad it was her. "I didn't know you two were coming. I could've gotten you seats. I'm Camden," she said to Jade.

That was right. They hadn't met yet. "Sorry," I told her. "This is my best friend, Jade. Jade, Camden."

"What's it like having such hot brothers?" Jade asked after the niceties were out of the way.

Rolling her eyes, Camden said, "Awful. I've had people try to use me to get to them and it doesn't help that my brothers know they're hot commodities. Cocky, little bastards."

The three of us giggled.

"But I'm glad I met you, Jade," Camden said. "We could form a little girl gang of our own."

I groaned. "I'm not up for getting jumped."

She snorted. "Me, either. I just meant, you, me, Jade, Amity, and Harlowe. We'd almost have the guys outnumbered."

I furrowed my brows. "Listen, I'm an English teacher, so math isn't my thing, but you only have four brothers and there'd be five of us."

"Right." She snapped her fingers. "But we have to include Jenner. He's an honorary Briggs and unfortunately, nothing I've done has scared him away yet."

Jenner. Yes. Of course. I hadn't talked to him too much, but he did seem to be part of the family, from what I'd heard.

The three of us chatted as we watched the game. I was surprised by how much I'd picked up in the few short weeks I'd been with Urban.

Been with. I shook my head at myself. Even I couldn't deny that we'd been together.

I'd been so stupid about this. No. I hadn't been stupid. I'd been blinded and obsessed with protecting my heart.

Not anymore. Sure, Urban may break it today, but he was worth the risk.

"I have a question," I asked her after the seventh-inning stretch. "I know I shouldn't ask you, but I don't have anyone else to ask."

"Shoot."

"Is there any chance of me getting a pass to go down to the clubhouse to talk to Urban?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You want to talk to my brother?"

Nodding, I told her, "I want to apologize. I shouldn't have run off the way I did and—"

"You ran off?" she asked, clearly having no idea what I was talking about. I hadn't gone into details with her about what had led to me going no-contact with Urban, and I guessed he hadn't, either .

"Yeah. I can explain to you after the game if you want, but I did and it wasn't fair. I should've let him explain. It was because of things other people did in the past. I'd like to apologize."

She smiled widely. "I'll take you down there myself."

Once the game had ended with a win for the Knights, Camden pulled me up without giving me a chance to worry about whether Urban was going to acknowledge me or not. The three of us battled the crowd until we were on the concourse.

"This is where I leave you," Jade said before hugging me. "It's going to be fine. You'll see."

I was glad that she had all the faith in the world. All the faith that I didn't have.

"I don't have my car here," I said suddenly but Camden and Jade looked at me with wide eyes like I'd just grown a second head. "If this doesn't go well. How will I get home." There were several ways for me to get back from the ball park. This wasn't something I should've been concerned about but here we were.

Camden put a hand on each shoulder and told me, "My brother wouldn't leave you stranded no matter what. I can hang around the stadium, though, in case you need a ride. "

That would be asking too much so I took a breath. "No. You can go after we get down there. I was being dumb. I can get a ride share or a bus if I have to."

With that settled, Jade headed for her car and Camden started me toward the clubhouse.

As we walked, I told her what had happened between Urban and me. She listened patiently without interrupting me even as I tried to justify everything I'd done.

I wouldn't do that with Urban.

"I assumed you would've heard," I told her after we'd gotten through the first door.

"No. My brothers don't tell me stuff like that most of the time."

"Well, that's it. That's what I did. Kept him at arm's length for too long then as soon as I let him close, I found a way to fuck it up."

She shrugged. "I probably would've done the same thing. That's why I won't date a pro athlete. I don't think I could stand seeing someone else touching him, even if he was putting a stop to it." Then she sighed. "Well, that's one of the reasons."

Finally, we were in the spot we normally waited for the guys. It was away from the clubhouse doors so we couldn't be a distraction but in the perfect spot to be the first thing they'd see when they came out.

"My brother might have tried to tell me," she confessed. "At the hospital. He brought you up, but I shut him down because I didn't want whatever happened to interfere with our friendship."

"You were right to do that," I told her. "I asked him not to go through you for things about me for that very reason."

She gave me a smile and squeezed my hand, though I wasn't sure what she was grateful for. It had been decided long ago that the two relationships had to be separate. By me. It was the only way we could ensure that Camden and I could stay friends.

It wasn't too much longer before some of the guys started coming out of the clubhouse. Not the guys we were waiting for… or not the guy.

Then finally, Urban pushed through the door. When he saw us he came over and stopped. His gaze slid down my body, leaving a rush of goosebumps to run over my skin. His gaze was like a touch. One I craved.

But he didn't say anything. Then Silas, Brooks, and Jenner came out and saw Urban and I locked in a stare-down .

Brooks wrapped an arm around Camden's neck and pulled her with him. "Let's go, baby sister." Camden groaned but went with him, leaving Urban and me alone.

Well… almost alone.

Bryson came out of the clubhouse next and saw us standing there. He chuckled loudly then kept walking. Good idea on his part.

"He leaving you alone?" Urban asked. A flood of relief washed over me. At least he'd spoken to me. If nothing else, there was that.

"Yes. I haven't heard from him since the last time I told you I had."

"Good." He ran a tongue over his bottom lip. "What're you doing here?"

This was it. This was the moment. It was time for me to come clean and apologize. I just needed him to listen to me.

"I'm here in the hopes that you'll let me explain what happened. I want to apologize and hope you'll forgive me for freezing you out that day. Will you?" I asked. "Will you at least hear me out?"

I'd never been so nervous in my life.

My hands were shaking, and I locked my knees in place to keep me upright. I also bit into my bottom lip to keep from laughing like a deranged hyena—a serious possibility. My heart threatened to escape as it banged harder than ever against my chest.

I promised myself I wouldn't cry if he said no .

The problem was, he wasn't saying anything.