19. Everly

CHAPTER 19

EVERLY

S eeing that tall, gorgeous woman outside of Urban's apartment—in front of which he was standing there in just his boxer briefs—brought everything from my past speeding forward and had my stomach threatening to revolt.

The joke was on my stomach, given that I had nothing in there to come up if it did.

He'd been touching her. Maybe if he hadn't been touching her, I wouldn't have lost my shit… No. I would have.

Fuck .

I slammed my hand against the steering wheel of my car as I drove away.

No doubt Urban would hurry down after me and try to say that it wasn't what it had looked like. Wasn't that what cheaters always said? That somehow the one being cheated on had seen it wrong?

What a bunch of bullshit. When I'd just decided to risk my heart… Well, this sealed it up. I wouldn't be doing this again, and I didn't care if that meant I was alone forever. I had Jade.

First, I called the camp to tell them I wasn't feeling well and wouldn't be in today. In the years I'd worked there, I hadn't called in a single time, so they had to take me seriously. Of course they were understanding and told me it wasn't a problem. We always had a plan B and with the team being on a road trip, they could easily change the plan for my campers.

Then I had to decide where to go.

Home was out. Urban could show up there. Instead, I decide to drive to the entire other side of town to a coffee shop that I'd never been in. Wallowing in public would ensure that I wouldn't waste tears on yet another asshole.

My phone buzzed with messages, but I didn't even bother looking. They could've been from Urban or they might not have been. To me, it didn't matter. I was sick today and everyone else could fuck off .

The coffee only lasted so long before I was back in my car deciding what I should do. After checking the time, I realized the morning class Jade had signed up to teach last week was about to start and it would be a perfect place to hide.

Not hide. No. Everly Rose wasn't going to hide from some mediocre man.

But that was the problem, wasn't it? The others had been mediocre, but Urban wasn't.

I pulled my car into a tight space at the gallery where Jade was teaching the course. I still had a few minutes and hoped that they would allow a late registrant. I didn't care about learning to paint, but I wanted to be close to my best friend.

Inside the gallery, I was stopped at the desk because yeah, you had to pay.

"Did you preregister?" the woman asked. Her hair was an unnatural black cut very short into an artsy shape. Jade was artsy, but this woman was avant-garde , and it fit her. She was beautiful.

"I did not. I am hoping I still can."

She started shaking her head as soon as I said I hadn't registered. Well, she'd looked nice enough when I'd come in.

"I'm sorry, but the class is full." There was a hint of an accent to her words. One that I couldn't place.

"Janine," Jade called out as she was gliding toward us. Jade didn't walk when she was in art mode. She glided. "This is my best friend, Everly. We have room for her."

"But there are—"

"We have room," Jade insisted. "Don't worry about the fee. I doubt she'll paint anything."

Janine grunted, but Jade guided me away from her.

"Not everyone is here yet," she whispered. "We have a few minutes." And she didn't stop until we were in the room with four other women sitting behind canvases on easels waiting for the class to start.

Jade sat down on a chair near where her easel was and pulled me into the one next to her.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. "You don't even like art."

"I like art," I challenged. "I like looking at it. It's not my fault if I have no talent."

Jade rolled her eyes. "You have skills you could hone."

I sighed. "I'm here because I've had a shit morning." My voice came out barely above a whisper.

She moved around her canvas and sat on the other chair next to me. "What happened?" Another woman came in and took a spot. "We're waiting on one more, so what's the condensed version?"

"I saw a woman at Urban's apartment this morning," I said, keeping my voice down low enough so that the other women wouldn't hear me. "I know it's not his sister and he was mostly naked, so…"

She closed her eyes then opened them slowly. "That rat bastard. What'd he say?"

My eyes widened. "I didn't wait around to find out which excuse he was going to use," I told her. "I wanted to keep some dignity here."

Jade reached out and set her hand on mine. "You have to give him a chance to explain."

"Do I?" I took a deep breath. I'd heard the schtick before. "Do I owe him anything?"

"I think you do."

"What?" This came out much louder than I'd intended.

Jade's eyebrows rose then her eyes narrowed as she stood up. "We're waiting on Christine. You can all start painting your background the color of your choice based on my example." There was a second easel that I hadn't noticed with a complete painting sitting on it.

It was like I'd forgotten Jade always did the painting ahead of time so the people who took her class would know how it's supposed to look when she taught them a technique. The painting was beautiful. But then she pulled me out of the room.

"You have to let him explain, Everly. Why would a guy chase after you just to cheat on you as soon as you agree to give him a shot? And why would he have her at his apartment knowing you could show up at any time?"

Valid questions that I hadn't taken the time to consider, but I didn't care.

"I did everything I told myself I wouldn't do. I broke a promise to myself, Jade. A promise that I'd made so that I wasn't the one to get hurt again. What the hell is wrong with me?" I ranted, which prompted her to take me into another room. "Why do these people look at me and say, ‘Yup, it'll be fun to crush her spirit'?"

Her face softened. "There's nothing wrong with you, Everly. The past was just immature boys who took advantage when an opportunity presented itself. This isn't that. "

"How do you know?"

"I guess I don't. But if you don't at least talk to him, then you not only broke a promise to yourself, but you also broke the rules of conflict resolution. You can't run away from the problem."

I stuck my bottom lip out like a two-year-old. "What if I'm the problem?"

She snickered. "You're not."

Shaking my head, I told her, "I can't do it right now. Not today. I'm too…" I shook out my entire body. "I just can't."

She held up her hands in defeat. "Then don't, but know the longer you leave it ,the worse it's going to get."

She wasn't wrong, but right this moment, I was honestly too scared to find out the truth.

Was it logical? Probably not. Were people always logical? No, they weren't and right now, I had to do what was right for me.

But I also couldn't be a whiny, little bitch about it and ignore all phone calls because I didn't want to talk to him.

Sitting in my car outside of the art gallery, I checked my phone. It had been him who'd called three times and there was at least one text message from him as well. I didn't know how many because I wasn't going to click on it to see. Then he'd know that I'd read it.

Finally, I went home. With the unexpected day off, the apartment needed a good cleaning. I could hide away from the world inside my own home. With earbuds in and music playing loudly, I wouldn't even notice if someone came over.

That night, my phone rang for the first time in hours. I'd just taken a shower and put on my pajamas after working up a good sweat cleaning.

It was Camden, so I answered.

"Are you all right, Everly?" she asked when I answered.

"I'm… fine. Is something wrong?"

There was silence on the other end, but it sounded like distant or muffled voices in the background then she came back. "No. Nothing new, anyway." Then she sighed. "My brother hasn't been able to get a hold of you, so we've been worried."

"I didn't mean to worry you," I told her. "I would've answered if you called." But that sounded bitchy to my ears. "I mean, I wasn't ignoring you ."

"Can I come over?" she asked, which took me by surprise.

Could she? Camden and I had become friends and we hadn't argued or anything, so there was no reason not to see her.

"Sure. You can come over. Alone."

She snorted. "I wasn't going to invite anyone else."

Twenty minutes later, Camden was at my door with Chinese food.

"You brought food?" I asked as she came in.

"In case I was hungry," she said. "I don't know what you've been doing and besides, food gives you something to do with your hands."

That much was true and I loved food anyway.

"Want to eat at the coffee table in the living room?" I asked her as I went to get plates. "Jade and I do that all the time."

"Sounds good to me."

Once we were set up, I knew I had to apologize to her. We were friends and I hadn't been a good one today.

"I'm sorry, Camden. I should've reached out to you to see how your grandpa's doing."

"Thank you for saying that." She took a bite of noodles. "He's all right for now. More alert today. They don't think he's going to die in the near future but also don't know what that future holds. They said infections are common after this kind of stroke and can be pretty dangerous, especially for him, so we're all wearing masks and gowns to go in and see him."

"That's good." I squeezed her hand. "I'm glad that for now he's out of immediate danger."

"Me too." She sat back with a piece of orange chicken on her fork and held it like a popsicle. "It's weird. He's been here my whole life and has been a big part of it. I just don't think he's been the same since our grandma died."

"How long ago was that?" I slipped a piece of beef in my mouth. It was normal to talk while eating, even if this was a less-than-pleasant topic.

"Five years ago… no, six. They were together forever and it had taken a lot for him to win her over." She shrugged. "They were inseparable. But then she died. He tried to be strong for the rest of us. We could still see how sad he was." She glanced at me then stared blankly at the TV. "That's why we all pretended to do better than we were. So he wouldn't worry."

That information tugged at my heartstrings. I hadn't met everyone in their family, other than briefly at the hospital, though I still hadn't been face to face with their brother Cobb. He hadn't been there yet when I left the hospital. Their dad, I briefly met. And when I say briefly, he said hello and that was it. He'd been busy with their mother.

"It sounds like you grew up in a great, loving family," I told her. What I didn't say was that it sounded leaps and bounds better than what I'd had growing up.

"We did. Mostly. My dad was so damn hard on the boys. He's hard on me, but it's different. I have a vagina, so I was never going to play baseball professionally. Plus, I will argue to the death with him over anything. I challenge him, where the guys tend to avoid the fight and do whatever they want. Unless it's really important." She shifted to the side. "Like my dad and Silas had a blowup over Amity a little while ago. But that was because my dad was being a fucking asshole."

Well, that was confusing. Having met Amity, I couldn't see why anyone would dislike her. "Amity?" I asked. "Why? She's great."

She nodded. "She is. But my dad really wanted the guys to still be in their fuck 'em and forget 'em era. Women are a distraction, so…"

"Ah, yes. Baseball is the priority."

"Correct." Then, as if she realized she'd just said something, she snapped up straight. "That's not me saying all of my brothers are in their fuck 'em and forget 'em era. I wasn't saying that."

Once I was done snickering, I assured her, "I didn't think you were."

She sat back, looking more relaxed. "Good. I said something at our house after the charity game that I think caused a problem between Silas and Amity and I didn't want to be doing that again."

"What'd you say?"

"That I stay away from ballplayers because they're all cheating whores."

Well, didn't that hit the nail on the head? "Right."

"They're not," she said, clearly trying to reassure me. "Silas would cut off his own dick before he'd cheat on Amity. It was just my own shit coming back to haunt me, and Amity grew up around her brother and all of mine. She knew how they'd been back then and… Well, let's just say it didn't go over well with Silas."

"I bet."

She was silent for too long and I knew what was coming next. "Everly—"

"No." I held up my hand like it was a large, red stop sign, telling her to go no further. "I don't want to talk to you about your brother. We're friends and we need to keep that separate if we want to stay friends."

"You're right. I agree. I told him that when he asked me to call you."

Well, fuck. That was something I'd explicitly told him not to do. "Well, that's on him, then. I told him I didn't want him going through you about me. I didn't want us put in that position."

"We won't be again."

"Why did you do it, then? If you agree that our relationship could be kept separate?" I'd wondered that since she'd called.

"He seemed genuinely worried that something might've happened. Seeing how worried he was worried me and I should've called you without telling him that I'd gotten a hold of you, but…" She shrugged. "He was worried when he couldn't get a hold of you, Everly."

"Did he tell you what happened?" I asked. She nodded. "Then you know why I'm not going to be answering his calls for a while. I have to be in the right mindset to hear what he has to say and make sure that I'm not going to be a sucker about it."

"I understand."

For the rest of the time that Camden was in my apartment, we didn't mention her brother. That was the best. Whatever happened between Urban and me wasn't going to affect Camden and my friendship.

I was good with that. Urban was still going to text and call, most likely, but I could ignore that. Blocking him crossed my mind but I realized that I wanted to know he was calling.

I just didn't want to answer.

But two days later, the calls and texts stopped and I didn't hear from Urban again.