16. Urban

CHAPTER 16

URBAN

" W hat're you doing here?" I asked, pressing one hand on the door and the other on the jamb the way a person would if they were letting someone know she wasn't coming in.

I hadn't seen—or talked—to her in a week. My eyes were starved for the sight of her. She was wearing shorts and a T-shirt. Her hair was down with a slight wave and all I wanted was for it to be OK for me to fist my hand in it.

But it wasn't.

Now, I'd just gotten comfortable when she called, so I was standing before her in jeans and a white T-shirt. My feet were bare, hair tousled. I'd cracked a beer since we didn't have a game tomorrow.

"Can I…?" Everly blew out a breath that made her bangs dance across her forehead. "Can I come in?"

I moved my arm and stepped back so that she'd come into my apartment. As fucking pissed as I was, seeing her still did something to my chest. Turned it into jelly. A quickly hardening jelly, but jelly nonetheless.

Everly swallowed hard and shifted her weight like she was nervous. "Your sister said you were in a bad mood all week."

I snorted. "Wonder why."

She took another breath. "I was also told that you almost came to blows with Bryson." She closed her eyes for longer than a blink then opened them again. "Was that about me?"

I loosened my arms and wet my bottom lip. I could've lied, but what would be the point of that? "Yeah."

"Because he and I slept together?"

I backed up until my ass leaned against the back of the couch. "No. Do I love that he's seen you naked? Not really. But no, that wasn't why."

"Barely," she whispered. When I furrowed my brows, she continued. "We didn't get completely undressed and—"

My hand flew up before I knew what was happening. "Nope. I have exactly zero desire to hear any of this. I hate all of it. I don't need you to have been a virgin before me, but I don't need to hear about you with someone else."

Maybe I'd said it a little too harshly.

She snapped her mouth shut. "Then why?"

I worked my tense jaw back and forth. Why the fuck did she want to know? Why was she here, other than to check on me and my shitty attitude, which she didn't have a reason to do anymore? We couldn't be together because that was what she wanted. We couldn't be friends because I didn't think I could do that.

Friends met boyfriends—or casual whatevers since she refused to have a boyfriend—and as much as I'd like to think I was evolved, I knew better. I couldn't stand there and watch her be with someone else when I wanted her so badly, I could taste it.

But I also might as well tell her the truth. "He said something shitty about you and I didn't like it."

She closed her eyes again and swallowed hard. "I can imagine. "

"I honestly hope the fuck you can't."

Suddenly, Everly was looking everywhere, but at me when she asked, "Are you mad at me? It's a dumb question, I know. And normally, I don't give a shit if a hookup is mad at me, but—"

I stood to my full height then walked over to the bottle of beer I'd left on the table, taking a nice long drink. "You really need to stop referring to me as a ‘hookup.' You might not want to admit it, but it was more than friends who have sex." I shrugged. "At least it was to me."

"No. I know it was," she said quietly.

"Do you want a drink?" I asked because it didn't seem like she was going anywhere anytime soon. I sure as hell wasn't going to ask her to leave. At least not yet.

"I'll take some water."

Everly didn't drink. She'd never said there was a reason for it, but she didn't. Not even a sip in the weeks that I'd known her. Now maybe she did sometimes and I just didn't know about it, but everything told me that she fully abstained.

After getting her a glass of water, I took it out, walked past her, and set it on the coffee table. "May as well sit down. I don't think you're going anywhere. "

Everly pushed off her shoes then came over to sit on the couch. She folded one leg under her and as much as I wanted to sit as close as possible to her, I sat on the other end. She didn't want me close—that meant I wouldn't be close.

"Do you want me to leave?" she asked after taking a drink of her water. She clutched the glass, like she was afraid it was going to run away.

"No," I told her honestly. "If I had my way, you'd be here a lot, but I don't get my way, do I?"

Everly swallowed hard and took a deep breath. "What would that look like?"

"What?"

"Us. Together. What would that look like?" Her gaze finally met mine. "Think about it realistically, Urban. You travel a ton. I have to work as much as possible all the time." She bit into her bottom lip again. That had to be a nervous habit. "You're leaving at the end of the season."

I leaned over to set my bottle on the table then turned to her fully.

"What would that look like?" I asked her, but I didn't wait for an answer. "It'd look like you're mine and I'm yours. We'd be together. It'd look like… yeah. I have to travel. I'd try to convince you to come every single time. Not with me on the team bu s or plane because that isn't allowed, but to come. We'd get to spend time together."

"You'd want me to stay at the hotel with you?"

"Fuck yes, but you can't. It's part of the team rules. You wouldn't even be able to stay at the same hotel."

She furrowed her brows. "I'd never be able to afford that lifestyle, Urban. I'd never be able to go."

Well… that was confusing. As if I'd have her pay. "You honestly think I'd have you pay for your own trip when the only reason you were going was because of me? Fuck that."

She winced and I knew she hated the idea of me paying for something like that.

It had to be her fucking family.

"I don't take money from other people," she said quietly. "I promised myself a long time ago that I wouldn't be like my family. I wouldn't be a financial burden on someone else."

I snorted. "‘Burden.' Baby, do you know how much I make a year? I wouldn't even notice."

"What else?" she asked, clearly done with the topic of money.

If she was going to give me the chance to convince her, I was going to take it. But I'd be careful because Everly would run. There was no doubt of that.

"I know you have to work. I'd try really fucking hard not to interfere. Most of the school year, I'm here. Or whatever city my team is in. In the off-season, I mostly just work out a shit ton and sometimes I'll hit batting cages and shit like that. But I'm not nearly as busy October to mid-February."

"Four months?" she asked.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I know the schedule sucks, but I'm doing something I love and it's not forever. There are a limited number of years I can play."

"But you're leaving at the end of the year."

That was the sticking point. I could see it in her eyes. She thought I'd make her fall in love with me then just leave. Fuck. Maybe I should've kept my mouth shut. I slipped across the couch until I could lay my arm along the back of it, which created a little cocoon between the two of us.

"When I came here, all I could think about is leave. I can't lie about that. I never wanted to play for Kalamazoo strictly because of my dad. There wasn't anything here for me, really." I ran my thumb over her cheekbone. "Things change."

"You could still get traded." That was a sticking point for her and it was up to me to convince her that it wouldn't matter.

"If I got traded, I'd want you to come with me." Her eyes widened and her mouth opened. "You probably wouldn't be able to, but I'd want you to. Since you couldn't, we'd figure it out. Not to mention, me being traded is almost impossible if I don't push for it. My mom wants me here and she's the one who makes the decisions. But if I want you to come with me now, how do you think I'll feel at the end of the season?"

She snorted. "Sick of me, probably."

"Not possible."

"You can't break my heart, Urban. I don't think I can do it again." Her eyes shimmered in the light, like she was holding back tears.

Her fear was real. Some people would say that she just needed to get over it, but those people weren't looking into her eyes and seeing the hurt. It made me rage inside. How could anyone look at this woman and hurt her?

"I won't," I promised. "I won't do anything to hurt you, Everly. And I've met your sister. Even if she weren't your sister, I wouldn't fuck her."

She laughed for the first time she'd gotten here and to see her smile tugged at my heart. "Good to know," she said. Everly wiped under both of her eyes, though as far as I could tell, she hadn't shed a tear. "OK. We have to pace ourselves, though, OK? The way you're talking, it sounds like you're five minutes away from declaring your love for me or something." A smile played on her lips. If only she knew how close to the truth that was. "I'm not sure I could handle that yet."

I shrugged. "I'll wait for you to say it first." Seemed like the best compromise. Didn't mean I wouldn't shower her with my feelings every single day as they grew. And there was no doubt that they would grow.

"How about some food?" She pushed to her feet. "Let's get dinner. I'll buy."

I was about to protest, but she raised her eyebrow in a challenge, so I snapped my mouth closed. If she needed to pay for dinner, I'd let her without any complaints from me.

Everly chose the place and drove, as well. She took me to Cleats & Kegs, where half my damn team was. Which meant I was stopped almost as soon as I got in the door. Jenner and Brooks tried dragging me toward their table, but I pushed them off. I wasn't here to hang out with them. I was here to have dinner with my girl .

It was just surprising that she'd chosen a place she had to know would be packed with ballplayers. And people who loved to chase after ballplayers. Before, she hadn't wanted to be seen in public with me, but she couldn't really get more public than this right now.

Once we were in a booth on the far side of the room away from my coworkers, I looked at her expectantly. At first, she ignored it. Then she sighed.

"I really like their burgers." She shrugged.

"Yeah." I leaned my elbows on the table and folded my hands in front of my face. "They have great burgers here."

As hard as she tried, she couldn't stop the smile that she battled so valiantly not to show. "Fine. I figured, rip off the Band-Aid. I was here earlier with Camden and knew the team was here." She glanced over at the large table in the middle of the place that was absolutely packed with the guys. "Or most of them. Silas wasn't here."

"He wouldn't be. He'd be home with Amity."

"Anyway. I figured you weren't going to go along with the whole keeping a low profile thing. Staying out of the public eye so people wouldn't see us together and think we're together. "

"You're right. I wouldn't. Because we are together."

She rolled her beautiful, green eyes. "I know. I don't have to be reminded. But I figured why not let them all make their assumptions now? You don't have a game tomorrow. I have to work and you do have your volunteer time at camp tomorrow. So, I brought us here."

"Trust me." I reached across the table to take her hand in mine. "I don't mind at all. This is the last week of camp, isn't it?"

She nodded. "It's the last for this group. There will be another baseball unit for a different group of kids in a few weeks, but that also means different volunteers." A cloud moved over me. Everly must've noticed, given that she immediately said, "Camden made sure the volunteer list is exclusive."

"I knew I liked my sister."

With all of that behind us, we were able to enjoy a casual dinner in a very crowded bar and grill.

When we got back to my apartment, I didn't even have to ask her to come in. She just got out of the car, put her hand in mine and let me take her inside. After I got the door open, I hit some light switches so we wouldn't be in complete darkness .

"You don't have to be surprised that I came in with you," she told me as she pushed her shoes off. "I do know how to behave in a relationship. The guys usually don't."

I chuckled. "I don't know if I'm the best, but I know I won't hurt you."

"I hope not," she said quietly and she turned to me, those green eyes making me hard just by looking at me. "You don't have to keep reassuring me about it. I'm going to trust that you won't."

"Good." I put my hands on her hips and pulled her into me.

Everly craned her neck so that she could see me. I towered over her, but not so much that it was ridiculous. "What scares me most about you, Urban, is that my feelings are already too big. I already care too much. I already want too much."

"What's ‘too much'?" I asked, but it was rhetorical. That was my way of telling her that too much didn't exist as far as I was concerned.

Before she could respond in any way, I pushed my lips against hers gently, showing her how much care I'd take with her. Everly pushed her fingers into my hair and squeezed, lighting me on fire.

Because no matter what, I'd be gentle with my wounded girl.