Chapter 20

Hazel hadn't come to work again.

From the way the sun was slanting through the high, open barn window, Maverick could tell that midmorning had come and gone. And that meant another day would pass without being near her. A total of six days.

He couldn't remember ever going so long without seeing her in all the years he'd known her. And the plain truth was that he wasn't sure he could make it through another day, maybe not even another hour, without her.

He gave Candy a final pat, then backed out of the stall and latched the gate behind the mare and foal. Even though he tired easily and still had to use the cane for balance, he'd pushed himself hard and was walking and riding again—at least short distances.

Even so, during the past week, he'd been restless and unable to focus long on anything. Especially yesterday and today. He hadn't been able to eat or sleep or work well. He hadn't even been able to think about much else except Hazel—wondering how she was getting along and what she was doing now that she wasn't working with the mares.

She'd rarely skipped work over the years. Now to miss all week? He must have hurt her more than he'd realized when he left her.

He'd thought he was being noble by putting space between them and preventing temptation. He hadn't wanted to keep kissing her and spending time with her and getting closer. Especially not after finally making things right with Sterling.

Sterling had not only rescued him from the river embankment but also brought him back to his house, placed him in his bed, and helped him through the first couple of rough days of recovery. In addition, he'd humbly apologized for how he'd reacted at the wedding and for so easily pushing aside their friendship.

With Sterling willing to be friends again, Maverick hadn't wanted to jeopardize that in any way, including going back on his word to stay far away from Hazel. Except that every time Hazel had entered the bedroom, his attraction to her had flared so that he'd felt like he'd combust if he stayed another day with her sitting beside his bed when all he wanted to do was pull her into the bed with him.

His thoughts had been running away from him so wildly that he'd finally made plans with Tanner to go home. And it was a good thing he had, because the last morning, when she'd walked into his room all beautiful and fresh and like sunshine, he'd been tempted again to pull her down onto the bed and kiss her until they were both breathless.

He hadn't expected Hazel to care quite so much that he was returning home or to insist on coming with him. He'd thought they'd go back to their relationship the way it had always been—being friends and coworkers. At least, until his friendship with Sterling was solid and he was able to have another conversation with his friend.

But her words from that morning echoed in his head again as they had all week. I thought we were starting to care about each other. I thought you wanted to be with me... like I want to be with you.

She'd wanted to be with him.

Her words had tugged at the desire within him then and did so again now.

With each passing day, all the reasons for leaving her seemed flimsier, and he was beginning to realize how rash he'd been, how impetuous, how foolhardy. Once again.

With a sigh, he twirled a piece of straw between his teeth. He should have talked to her more, maybe tried to explain how he was feeling, even if it was embarrassing to admit how much he craved her. And he should have figured out a way to tell her about Sterling's ultimatum without causing angst between the brother and sister.

Now, instead of things returning to normal, maybe he'd ruined things between himself and Hazel, and he didn't know how he could keep on going without trying to repair their relationship.

He tossed the straw to the ground and started toward the exit with his cane thumping in the hay. He had to ride over to the Noble Ranch today. He wasn't gonna do anything else until he saw her and made sure she was all right.

With uneven steps, he made it halfway across the haymow before he stopped. What was he thinking? He couldn't go. He slapped a hand to his forehead then pivoted and stalked back the way he'd come.

Her last words came rushing back to him: You can push me away again. But next time you feel attraction surfacing, please just leave me alone. I won't be interested.

She wanted him to leave her alone. She wasn't gonna be interested in him anymore. And she was making that mighty clear with her absence.

"Maverick?" Clarabelle paused in grooming the mare in the stall across from him. With the gate open, she stood beside a chestnut Morgan, her brush suspended, her wide green eyes upon him.

His sisters had been helping in the mare barn during Hazel's absence. But it had been a strain on both of them with all their other responsibilities, especially since Ma's care continued to grow more demanding.

Clarabelle's face was shadowed with dark circles under her eyes, and she bit back a yawn. "With all the pacing and muttering, you look like you're going mad."

"I am going mad." He limped back the way he'd come, his steps slower than usual. But he was thankful he was walking at all and that the pain from the pinched nerve wasn't as debilitating when he was up as it was when he was resting.

"Because you miss the woman you love?" Clarabelle's comment was tentative. The more naturally reserved of his sisters, Clarabelle didn't often speak her mind.

But it was clear Clarabelle had figured out how much he cared about Hazel—like Tanner had, and probably like everyone had. Maverick reckoned there was no sense in denying it. "Yep, I'm missing her something fierce." He was missing her more than fiercely, but he didn't know how else to describe the ache inside.

Clarabelle was brushing the mare again, but she smiled at him over her shoulder, her blond-red hair coiled into a fashionable knot making her look older and more mature than her nineteen years. "I don't know what you did to push her away, but it looks like you have some work to do to win her back."

"Didn't mean to push her away."

"It's obvious you did anyway."

Maverick halted again, swiped off his hat, and jammed his fingers into his hair. He'd been a fool to walk away from Hazel. "I was just trying to keep the peace with Sterling. That's all."

Clarabelle laughed softly, as if he'd told a joke. "You're willing to give up Hazel in order to keep your friend?"

Was that what he was doing?

"If the roles had been reversed," Clarabelle continued while she groomed the mare, "Sterling would have abandoned you in a heartbeat for Violet. He wouldn't have looked back."

Even though Maverick didn't want to admit it, he knew Clarabelle was right. Because essentially, that's what Sterling had done at the wedding. He'd abandoned their friendship for Violet.

Maverick twisted at his cane, leaning on it heavily, feeling the pinch in his back. "Just because Sterling doesn't have the same loyalty to me, doesn't mean I should give up my loyalty to him."

Clarabelle met his gaze with her clear one that was full of wisdom, just like Ma's had always been. "Your friendship with Sterling is a gift, and you should keep on being a good friend to him. But the woman you love needs to take priority over anyone else. That's just the way it has to be, Mav."

Maverick swallowed a strange sense of panic that began to swell. As much as he appreciated Sterling and their long history, his loyalty had to switch to Hazel now. She was his priority, the love of his life, the only one he truly wanted.

"I've made a mess of things." He released an exasperated sigh. "Seems I'm good at that."

"We all make messes at times." With a hoof pick in hand, Clarabelle lifted one of the mare's hooves and began to dislodge mud. "Sometimes even big messes. We can walk away from them, or we can roll up our sleeves and clean them up."

Clarabelle was turning into a beautiful woman not only on the outside but inwardly too.

"Weston was always the level-headed son, and he succeeds at everything he does. If only he'd never left..."

"Weston has good business savvy. But Pa knew you had the heart and soul that this ranch needs."

"If Weston had been here taking care of things, Pa wouldn't have died." The statement fell out from the deep, dark recesses of the pain that he'd been trying to avoid.

Clarabelle halted and gave him her full attention, her brows furrowed. "You know that Pa always said he had no logical explanation for why he was still alive, not after all the near-death encounters he'd experienced over the years."

Maverick had heard Pa's tales over the years—the bullet that'd taken off a section of his ear in the war but missed his head; the rattlesnake bite that'd punctured the sole of his shoe but missed his heel by a fraction of an inch; the log beam that had fallen while building the house, right after he'd moved from where he would have been crushed. Pa's stories had always been entertaining.

"Pa always said he got more years than he deserved," Clarabelle said softly. "He finally reached his limit."

"But if I hadn't gone after the horse thieves that day—"

"You and Pa would have gone the next and been in just as much danger then."

Was Clarabelle right? Was he carrying the burden of Pa's death when it wasn't really his to bear?

"You and Pa were more alike than anyone else."

Maverick shook his head and started to scoff.

"Why else do you think Pa had so many dangerous adventures?" Her clear green eyes probed him. "Because he lived life to the fullest, just like you."

Tension eased from Maverick's shoulders. He wasn't sure if Clarabelle was right about everything, but it made a whole heap of sense. "How'd you get so smart?"

She tossed him another smile before picking up the next hoof. "We were blessed to grow up with parents who dedicated their lives to us. Now it's our turn to do the same to each other and our own families."

His throat closed up, and he managed a nod.

"Now go on and make things right with Hazel."

He limped again toward the barn door.

"And Mav?"

He paused and glanced back at her.

She was watching him tenderly with a big happy smile. "I love you."

"I love you too, kid."

As he finished making his way out of the barn, his heart was lighter. Even though he wasn't perfect and had made plenty of mistakes, his family still cared about him, because that's what family did for each other—they kept on loving and forgiving.

And they cared enough to speak the truth in love...

The plain truth was, he was always gonna make mistakes, no matter how hard he tried not to. Instead of walking away again from Hazel, he had to roll up his sleeves and clean up the mess he'd made.

He started across the yard toward the barn where they kept their work horses, his gelding among them. He could make the ride to the Noble Ranch without too much pain. At least, he hoped so. Once there, he'd talk to Sterling first. He was done asking for his friend's permission and approval. This time he'd tell Sterling his plans to court Hazel and wouldn't let any objections stop him going to Hazel next, dropping to his knees, and apologizing for leaving her.

"Maverick!" came a shout from the lane. The voice sounded an awful lot like Sterling's.