20. Sawyer

CHAPTER 20

SAWYER

I deserve a damn medal for walking away from her tonight. Feeling her heart race against the palm of my hand, seeing the way her pupils dilated as soon as we were a breath apart, and the fact that she didn't go running for the hills the minute I had her alone was enough to make me want to break and kiss her right then and there.

She's only partially right about not being mine. While she's still entertaining the idea that dating khakis is going to work out, I know they won't last. Because as I sit here watching her from across the room while she talks with him at the bar, she can't stay focused on him for longer than a minute before I see her eyes land on me. Where they should be.

I've never been a very patient man, but for her I'm fucking trying to be.

I don't just want her quick glances and stolen moments tucked into the corner of a corn maze or a bar we both end up at. I want every smile she has to offer and to be the one that makes her head fall back in laughter. I want to hold her hand as we walk down the street and wrap her in my arms when she's cold and isn't wearing a jacket—because she's never wearing a jacket. I want to see her cheering me on in the crowd at every one of my games and spend Sundays watching her get lost in a book or making lesson plans, or whatever it is she does now. I want to get lost in the taste of her and prove to her that no one else will ever know her the way that I do.

I won't be the one to break while she's still seeing someone else, but that doesn't mean I won't be doing everything I can to get her to break first.

"We're heading to Spurs, you coming?" Tank comes up and asks as I finish off my beer. I watch as Leah and Jackson join the rest of the group and if they're going, there's no way I'm not going.

"Yep. Let's do it." I clap my hands on the thighs of my blue jeans and stand to leave. When we get outside, I get the absolute pleasure of watching as Leah's cheeks turn the perfect shade of red when she turns around to see me standing right behind her. I give her a wink and it's like I can hear the very moment she stops breathing.

"Hey, you okay?" Jackson asks, tugging on her hand. She spins to face him again, quickly slapping a smile on her face.

"Yeah, great!"

I'm about to join the other guys of the group— because, well this guy makes me want to punch a hole through cement and the others don't —when he leans down and kisses her. It's not like they stood there making out or anything, it was a quick peck on the lips, but it was just enough to make my blood feel equivalent to molten lava. A slap in the face reminder that she's here with him . That he gets the absolute fucking privilege to kiss her any time he wants, when it's all I can ever think about.

I see her eyes cut to me, though she doesn't allow herself to face me completely. Which is probably a good thing considering I am fresh out of fucks to give tonight and would more than likely pull her out of his arms and haul her off to anywhere but here and beg her to just give us a chance. But she keeps her hand in his, and her eyes forward as we make our way to Spurs.

Can this guy just fall off a cliff already?

"How's operation steal the teacher going?" Tucker asks, from beside me as we watch Max and Tank spar in the ring that was recently put up at Hall's.

"Please tell me you were not the one responsible for naming you guys' missions?" I glance up at Max and he smirks.

"He was not," he says before taking a swing at Tank.

"But I could have been because I'm great at it. And you didn't answer the question." I take a deep breath and cross my arms over my chest.

"I'm not trying to steal her so much as trying to show her that she should be with me and not the pair of khakis she pretends to be so taken with."

"What makes you think she's pretending?" Max asks, keeping his eyes on Tank.

"You've met the guy, right? He has the personality of a wet paper towel." Tank snickers and cocks his head.

"I have to say I've had more interesting conversations with my seven-year-old than him."

"Well, that may not be entirely fair to the guy. Hendrix is one of the best storytellers I've ever met," Tucker adds.

"I don't know man. I just feel stuck. What can I do when she's literally dating someone else." I hold my hand out and see Tucker's brows raise.

"Do what I did." He shrugs.

"I'm a little scared to ask but… what did you do?"

"Get in the way." I can't help but laugh when he smirks.

"That was the best possible way you could have explained that," Max laughs from the ring.

"Thanks, brother," Tucker says adoringly.

"What the hell do you mean, get in the way?" I'm genuinely confused on if I'm supposed to just stalk her and show up everywhere they go, or if it's more metaphorical. I don't really have the time to be stalking her ass.

"When Taylor started thinking she wanted to date the guy she'd been casually hooking up with at work—after waiting for over a year for her to be ready to date so I could ask her out—I decided she'd know exactly how I felt about her and that I was done just being friends. Whether she kept trying to date this guy or not. I let her know where I stood."

"I'd ask how that worked out but since you're currently picking out flowers for your wedding, I'll assume it went well," I tease.

"It did, but it took some time."

"Just be straight with her man. The best thing you can possibly do for her, especially after hearing what happened between you two back in the day, is to prove that you're gonna be there for her. And if you really love her, that means being there for her as a friend too, not just as…more. She's got walls built up man—and they may take a while to break down." Max is like the cranky big brother that actually loves you and is full of good advice that could change your life. JJ is a great big brother, but all he's full of is medical knowledge and bullshit.

"Why don't you get up here and show me what you got, hockey star?" Tank says, waving a glove at me.

"Because my coach would chew my ass out if I did anything to get hurt in the middle of the season. Maybe after the playoffs."

"I'll hold you to that." He points a glove at me then he's back to sparring.