12. Leah

CHAPTER 12

LEAH

I finally took Shane's advice and shifted my focus solely to Jackson. We planned a barhop so we could try new drinks together, listen to some good music and just all around, have a good time. I was really excited and very optimistic about things between us since I was pretty confident we wouldn't run into anyone we knew to spoil our evening. Not to mention, I couldn't contain my laughter when Jackson stood up from our table at Knockin Boots and tried to convince me to dance with him. Then I looked up—and all the air was sucked out of the room when I saw Sawyer dancing with some other girl.

She was a little taller than me, had long blonde hair set in loose waves, and was wearing the hell out of a pair of Wrangler jeans. They glided across the dance floor, smiling and laughing, like they were the only ones in the room. The moment my stomach dropped at the thought of them together, I knew my plan was going to fail. You know, the plan to move on with Jackson, try to forget about Sawyer, and not have to talk to him?

Yeah, that plan—not looking so good right now.

"Okay, okay. Maybe you're right. I have some work to do before we're ready to hit the dance floor," Jackson laughs, snapping my attention back to him.

I have to will myself not to look back at the dance floor again while Jackson continues talking, but when he gets up to go to the bathroom my restraint finally breaks, and I immediately wish it hadn't. Because they're no longer on the dance floor but they're side by side headed for the door.

"Ready to hop again?" I turn to face Jackson, slapping a smile on my face before nodding in agreement.

"Let's do it." If I'm going to give this thing with Jackson a fair chance, it's time I put my game face on and ignore Sawyer the way I used to.

Only, that doesn't happen. Not even a little bit.

Instead, I see him heading back to their table for something and when Jackson and I walk past him, I bump right into his arm.

He turns around, clearly annoyed by the lack of respect to his personal space, but his expression changes almost immediately when we lock eyes.

"Sorry ‘bout that." As if on cue, Jackson slides his arm around my waist, and I see Sawyer's face harden almost immediately. When his date calls him from the bar, I glance between the two of them, then walk out the door. I'm fully aware that I'm on a date right now and have zero right to feel any kind of way about Sawyer being on one of his own, but I'm only human and I do feel some kind of way about it.

It was a lot easier to ignore Sawyer's existence all together when he lived a thousand miles away, but it's going to take a little more work now that he's here and showing up at every damn place I go.

After visiting every bar we could get into and trying countless drinks together, Jackson and I call it a night and head home. When we pull up to my house, he informs the driver he'll be right back before hopping out behind me to walk me to the door.

I live in a quiet, older neighborhood—seeing as how I inherited my house from my gran when she passed away. I've done a lot of work to the little two bedroom, two bath house to make it into my own little oasis. The red brick house with stairs leading up to the small front porch—that's just big enough for a couple of rocking chairs—has black shutters and white trim, much like it was when Gran still owned it. The inside is completely updated though, with a mix of bohemian and mid-century decor and I can't imagine living anywhere else. I have so many good memories with my gran in this house, living here is like having a piece of her with me always.

"I had a lot of fun tonight," Jackson says, nervously tucking his hands into the front pockets of his blue jeans. I wrap my arms around myself, hugging my oversized sweater to keep from getting a chill.

"Yeah, me too." I bite down on my bottom lip as the tension in the air begins to grow. He pulls his hands from his pockets, untucking mine from my sweater to hold them. My heart rate picks up as my eyes bounce between his. Just as I think he's going to lean in to kiss me, he pulls my hand up to his lips and presses a kiss there instead.

"Goodnight, Leah."

"Goodnight, Jackson." My lips roll together then turn up in a smile as he rushes back down the porch steps, and the car pulls away.

I take a deep breath before walking into the house and kicking my shoes off at the door. I waste no time putting my favorite pajamas on—an oversized hoodie and some sweatpants—and crawling under my coziest blanket on the couch.

Shane

How was the date?

Me

It was great. We drank, we laughed, we ended up at the same establishment as Sawyer while he was on a date. unamused emoji

Shane

flushed face emoji Yikes.

Me

One question. What is up with the universe??

Shane

So what happened? Did you talk to him? face with peeking eye emoji

Me

Sort of… I may or may not have accidentally on purpose ran into him on the way out. hiding emoji Jackson didn't see it happen though.

Shane

nervous emoji So then how was the rest of the night with Jackson?

Me

Meet me in the group chat.

Me

What does it mean when you've been on like five dates with a guy THAT IS IN HIS THIRTIES and he has only ever kissed you once?

Tay

How was the date, Le?

Me

It was great until he kissed my knuckles goodnight.

Ruby

Weird…

Me

Like, he kissed me that night during the haunted trail and seemed REALLY optimistic about doing it again and…hasn't?

Lauren

Maybe he's secretly gay?

Tay

Maybe he got a little too sparkle emoji excited sparkle emoji

Shane

Maybe he's just really stupid?

Me

Not a single one of those responses was even remotely helpful.

Lauren

Mine felt kind of valid, but okay.

Ruby

Maybe he's just trying to take it slow? Since things were so rocky in the very beginning maybe he just doesn't wanna mess things up. shrug emoji

Shane

Maybe he's just really nervous? Maybe he's working up to it and then freaks out.

Tay

Maybe he's celibate.

Me

OMG what if it was a bad kiss? crying emoji Anyone want to go cat shopping with me tomorrow?

Shane

Stop that right now. You're not getting a cat.

Lauren

OMG. You are NOT a bad kisser Leah. However you ARE totally a cat gal. I'll go with!

Tay

Awww kitty!

Me

Is it too much to want a guy to know what he wants and just freaking go for it? eye roll emoji

Ruby

Pretty sure that's all any woman wants, babe. You're not asking for too much. I swear.

Me

Says the woman married to a man completely obsessed with her.

Lauren

Yeah, where can I get one of those? dollar banknote emoji

Shane

Well, we all found ours at a bar… face with tears of joy emoji

Tay

Oh my gosh, you're right. rolling on the floor laughing emoji

I'm two episodes of Gilmore Girls in, and about to pass out on the couch when my phone goes off again.

Jackson

Guess what.

Me

What?

Jackson

I got us tickets to the Badgers game tomorrow. grinning face with big eyes emoji

OH. MY. GOD. WHY?

I am moving to Mars. No, the sun, then I won't have the ability to come back.

I internally scream, placing my hands on my cheeks as I stare at my phone screen and try to think of a way to politely tell him I won't be doing that, but I come up empty.

It feels rude to turn down a perfectly planned date night just because I'm playing a risky little game of avoidance with my feelings, but why did it have to happen in the middle of a silent crisis I'm having with their best defenseman?

Deep breath, Leah. You can do this.

Me

No way!

Jackson

I remembered you saying you enjoyed hockey on our second first date so I thought you'd enjoy it! Maybe teach me a thing or two about hockey. face with tears of joy emoji

Me

That was so thoughtful of you Jackson. Can't wait.

Jackson

Same. Goodnight, Leah.

Since my eyes are barely staying open at this point, I love his message and lay my phone down before drifting off to sleep. No matter how much I joke about dying an old cat lady with the girls, I'm still not giving up on dating. Maybe he is just trying to take things slow, but I'm not going to be able to stop thinking the kiss was bad until he kisses me again.

If he ever kisses me again.