16. Valentin

SIXTEEN

Valentin

D ani is a good liar. Exceptional. The part of me that died when she disappeared fights to come to life, believing her fake ass bullshit. It grows in conviction when she tries to stop her cries. The door doesn't mute the sound and it's filled with nothing but pain. Moving forward to go to her, my phone vibrates with Vlad's message that he's here.

She can hate me all she wants but I'm not letting anyone take my son away from me. My biggest regret is my biggest blessing. I'd fuck Carly a thousand times, hating myself each time, if it meant I'd have Viktor. He's my one bit of good, the only thing that stopped me spiraling and kept me afloat even when he'd fucking scream all night. Or I'd turn up on Vlad's floor with tears in my eyes not knowing what to do, I wouldn't change anything about my son.I don't remember how he was created but I'll burn before anyone tries to fucking get near him.

I drop all the towels in the trash and lay paper towels over the wet patch of the rug that she threw up on before going to the door to let Vlad inside. He looks around with an eyebrow raised and laughs to himself seeing the wet patches on my t-shirt as he mouths, "You get pissed on again?"

Shaking my head in answer and exasperation, he stands in wait, tapping against his thigh. Dani openly sobs, her voice cracking and shrinking me to an inch tall. The person I remember isn't who she is. My brain and heart don't get that fucking memo and revolt against me.

Vlad turns his head to look at me with an accusation. I didn't do shit to her, she's done it to herself. The bathroom door opens and hearing her cry is one thing, but the redness on the tops of her cheeks as she steps out of the bathroom is so much fucking worse.She's still beautiful, her hair is lighter around the edges of her face. As a teenager I was in awe of her beauty, as a man it's more potent.

She tries to mask her fear and I fight a smile. She's always been afraid of Vlad, most people are, but her shoulders are straight, and she ignores his dumbass comment. I stay back like a little bitch, hiding behind my brother because he can do what I can't and insult her more than she already has been. Dani's face falls as he slides a blank cheque towards her and I wait for her anger. She's never gave a fuck about money; she grew up around wealth but didn't care for it and used her art to pay her own way when it wasn't necessary.

Yet she proves that I don't know shit when it comes to Daniela Carvalho when she takes the fucking cheque.It's what was going to happen, but I hate it. Each stroke of the pen is like nails going down a chalkboard. My sweet Dani, my artist, doesn't exist anymore as she caps it and pushes the cheque back to Vlad. Flicking her eyes to me with nothing other than hate and disgust, she stands tall and crosses her arms over her chest, voicing her demand.

"It's non-negotiable."

Whatever figure she's written has Vlad looking at her with pride and respect. Two things he doesn't have for anyone.

He holds the cheque up between two fingers over his shoulder, so I can read it. Fear and joy war with each other at her demand. Where there should be a number she's written in clear block capitals two words.

MY NEPHEW

This is the Dani I remember, who I thought I knew, the girl I loved. She was the person who gave her sister every chance she needed to be there for her, sat with her when she was coming down off whatever binge she'd be on just so she wasn't alone.

But she could be the Virgin Mary reincarnated and I'd slit the bitches throat before I let anyone take my kid away from me.

I leave before I do something I regret. I don't give two fucks about their conversation. I've never been afraid of shit, but he's my kid. Mine. He doesn't have anyone else and I'm all he knows. I've fucked up and acted like an immature prick on countless occasions in his life and I'll probably fuck up more before I die. The thought of not having my son is enough for me to see red.

I didn't become an adult the day I turned eighteen, it was when I spent my first night alone with him. Thrown in the deep end without any help because I spent four months relying on Vlad to wake up in the middle of the night.My chest tightens like every single moment in his life when he's not directly in front of me. I need to see him to know he's safe and I race home.

I turn clingy as soon as I get in the house and begin searching for Viktor. The kid saved us all, not just me but my brothers too. He has more power in his little toe than the entire Bratva could dream of.Finding him in the lounge watching his language cartoons, I hug him to my side and kiss his head. He looks up at me with his brows together, he doesn't try to practice his mean face and gives me his full attention.

"You're being weird," he whispers.

I'm being normal, we always watch movies and shit together. Pointing it out, he shakes his head and crosses his arms trying to be authoritative.

"I'm not talking about you hugging me, you do that all the time. You keep looking at me weird and smiling funny like you're dreaming."

I stroke his hair back and kiss his forehead. "You know I love you, right?"

He nods and rolls his eyes relaxing into my side. "Yeah, you never stop saying say it so I can't exactly forget."

I'm going to hate when he's a teenager, I already hate that he's growing up and doesn't sleep in my bed anymore. If I had it my way he'd be three again and never age, that was the best age when he needed me, and he'd always cuddle me in the morning .

Right now, he ignores me in favor of watching his show. The next episode auto plays, and his whisper fills the small gap between them.

"I love you too."

I'm stopped from forcing him to say it again as the front door opens and dress shoes tap against the wood. Vlad's smug face pisses me off instantly, I already know what he's going to say as he goes to the bar and pours himself a drink.

"Get your tantrum out and then we'll talk."

Fucking prick. I don't have tantrums for fuck's sake, I'm a grown ass man and I have a nine year old.

Viktor idolizes the prick and tries to do addition his brain can't comprehend.

"Are we moving again?" The sadness in his quiet voice and eyes points out my fuck ups as he looks at me. "You said I can go to school."

Trying to keep him protected from the shit storm Carly created and insulated from the other fuckers in my own life has just made him lonely. I give him my promise to do better mentally, but the one I voice is less than he deserves.

"You're starting in a week. We're not moving, little man."

He's never asked why he doesn't have a mother or who she is. The thought of him seeing other kids with one at school is enough to give me heart palpitations when the only one he's ever witnessed is Anika, that bitch is barely fucking human and none of us call her mama when they visit. Ruffling his hair, I send him away, so he doesn't overhear anything.

"Go raid Tali's snacks, I got that new movie you wanted to watch."

He narrows his eyes at me and Vlad as he slowly gets up, trying to sneak information.We move into the office to stop Viktor's eavesdropping, and my fear comes back out.

"She's not taking him," I say as soon as the door closes.

Expecting a quip about my tantrum, Vlad turns into a normal person with emotions and agrees.

"He's with family, but Vitali will bring her home."

The little shithead will do whatever he wants, it was the same when we were kids. Wherever Dani is involved Tali will give in.

He takes a seat behind his desk as he adjust his cuffs. "And it will be good for him to be around her. He's already attached to Inessa. He goes to her as though she's his mother."

I'd agree if he wasn't my son. Logically it all makes sense, he's attached himself to my sister-in-law craving a relationship I can't give him. But if Dani fills that gap, then she'll be here, around me all the fucking time, driving me crazy.

My knee starts to bounce and I'm that dumb kid going to him for help in the middle of the night again as I ask, "He's going to see other kids at school and start asking questions, isn't he?"

Each day points out another fucking thing I don't know what to do. My blood boils then turns to ice at the dumbass changing the topic.

"Probably. That's not the only reason for Dani being here, Inessa's got it into her head that I'm some disrespectful little dickhead who fucked her in an alleyway while she was inside. Let her see that she's family."

Phrased like that, I feel like a dickhead. But I needed her, after a decade and a half of the woman consuming me I finally had her in my arms. Was I fuck allowing the opportunity to be wasted. If she wasn't wrapped around me, in my arms, and kissing my cheek I may have been able to silence my teenage hope. My anger and hurt clouded everything so I'll need a redo when I've got a clearer mind. I can't think about that now because the dad voice comes out as Vlad asks, "Is there something that I should know?"

"Yeah," I nod, "I put your card down for Inessa to buy everything at the gallery, that shit was expensive and I wasn't using mine."

"When's it being delivered?"

"It isn't?" My brows come together as he does the same and I'm not sure what his relationship is like, probably abnormal because he's Vlad, so I say, "She bought everything for double the highest bid and told them to keep the items to resell through the night."

The puppy has ran off to collect Dani and I'm being a chicken shit, refusing to bring the topic up with my own kid. Tali couldn't even last a full twenty-four fucking hours before forcing her into my life again. Inessa kicks my foot, getting far too comfortable, and turning into her husband as she orders me around.

"Go talk to him, he'll be confused otherwise."

Tali opened his big mouth and spilled everything to her like a shithead. Rather than get kicked again, I drag my feet to find Viktor in the stables.His favorite horse is a grumpy bastard and only ever relaxes in his presence. Katya stands at the end, afraid of getting near the animal as he feeds it an apple and I gesture with my head for her to leave, focusing on her relief while I go through words trying to form a sentence. Nothing comes to me, so I settle for, "Can I talk to you, little man?"

I've fought in the cage for years, a grown ass killer but I sound weak.He turns his body while his attention is fixed on the horse and his voice is monotonous.

"I know you love me."

The first time I heard those three words I was a teenager, and he won't ever experience the mind fuck of not understanding the sentiment. I'd rather annoy him with the reminder that I'll always be here than hurt him with the coldness and questions over his own worth.

His horse lets out a harsh gust of air from its nostrils as I stay at the mouth of stable cubicle and attempt to hide my panic.

"There's someone who wants to meet you, she's a friend of Tali's."

I'll blame that prick; he bought her into our lives.

Viktor's voice turns high pitched and there's a disgusting taste in my mouth as he asks, "Is it his girlfriend?"

The thought of my brother being anything with my girl pisses me off. She's mine, until I decide she isn't.

Killing the idea in his little head before he can take it further, I turn rarely serious and drop down, so we're eye to eye.

"If you don't want to see her you don't have to."

Part of me wants him to latch onto her so I have an excuse to be around Dani. I'm sinking low as fuck using my own kid, but it'll be easier to rationalize why she's there, that way I'll have an excuse to have her in my life.

He tilts his head to the side, thinking about what he wants. I've never made him do shit he doesn't want to. He has three bedrooms and he'll randomly decide which floor he wants to sleep on depending on his mood. If he can't sleep and wants quiet it's Vlad's, Tali's when he has too much energy, but he always comes to me for comfort.

He looks around before speaking and stepping closer to me.

"Is she family or do I have to pretend again?"

With Vlad's wedding his pretending, as he likes to call it, has been perfected. Viktor can act like the rest of us emotionless pricks when he needs to, but my answer changes on its journey from my brain to my tongue.

"She's family."

There's no reaction, he just accepts it without any questions, moving on to his demands. "I want a puppy or a kitten."

He's allergic to cats so I don't know where the idea has come from. I'm not picking up after a dog dropping its shit everywhere, so I deflect. "Yeah, ask Vlad for a puppy. You can't have a cat, or you'll get sick."

He can tell him no, so he doesn't get pissed at me.

Viktor nods and shows he's a Vartanov. "I know, but you can't say no twice so he'll have to make a deal and get me the puppy."

The sound of footsteps moving closer down the path and Tali's annoying ass voice have me straightening. "Don't worry, he takes after me, so he'll obviously love you."

I block Viktor with my body and hold his shoulder trying to keep him away but not opening my mouth to achieve it. The lie I told myself for years has been shattered when there was never any truth in it. It's impossible for Dani to be his mother despite my hope for a miracle.

If wishes were horses, beggars would ride .

Tali has a dumbass grin on his face and ignores me. "Come here Vik, I want to introduce you to my other half."

Stupid cunt.

Dani doesn't follow him, hiding around the corner and staring in the direction of his voice. She can't see me looking through the window at the side. So fucking beautiful with a soft nervous smile on her face.The horse is a shithead and smacks me with its braided tail, I swear Inessa has weighted it so it causes more damage than it should.

But I don't move as I watch the woman who has become even more in her absence. I held on to the memories when my life was falling apart. She may not have known I was watching her, but I could never tear my eyes away from her when she was working. She'd go into her own world, and she's traded her usual paint splattered overalls for a dress. She's made an effort and I sour, turning to look at my brother like I'd be able to find evidence of his wrongdoing. His clothes are the same and there's no creases in them as he coaxes my son away from me.

I follow them under the guise of protectiveness when there's nowhere safer with the guards on the property. Dani's stink eye lands on me. The thin red mark on her neck hasn't been fully covered under her make up and I shove my hands in my pockets, finding the necklace I ripped off her.She kept it, the one I gave her for her birthday is still there too. She kept them both, but she isn't mine the way I wanted her to be, she didn't stay, and she doesn't look at me.