15. Daniela

FIFTEEN

Daniela

I jump at the knock on the door as I step out of the shower. I've finally stopped feeling sorry for myself and found my anger at Valentin's asshole ways. Some idiotic part of me hopes it's him, that I'll open the door and Val will say he's sorry for being a prick. I'll make him buy me something and return my necklace while deciding other ways for him to earn my forgiveness.

It's shattered when the incessant taps come, followed by Tali's eager voice as he says, "Come on Dani, the light of your life is here."

Wrapping a towel around me, I quickly knot it, rushing out of the bathroom. There's no anger in his sing song, just excitement and at least I get to keep one of them.

"Dani, Dani, Dani, Dani."

Each repetition of my name is neighbored with his knuckles hitting the door. I hold the towel to my chest and pull the door open with more force than required. Tali doesn't pause, rushing in and wrapping his arms around me. It's like we're teenagers again. This is the reaction I wanted from Val. Happiness, him saying he missed me .

"You owe me years of horror movies," he says.

Laughing into him, I hug him back with one arm. We both lean back and just stare at each other. He's still the dumb kid that was glaring at everyone in the corner during recess, not knowing how to make friends. But now Tali has grown, I always thought he'd fill out and have a layer of fat over his muscles with how much he eats, but he's lean and he's still a cocky shithead as he kisses my forehead.

"We both know we're beautiful and I love you," he cups my face with both hands, "don't make it weird by falling in love with me."

I step back and point towards my room. "Give me a minute, I'll get dressed."

Tio said I'd get my old life back and he was right, being around my family helped me grow into who I am in Brazil. But coming back is strange, I'm not a teenager anymore yet I feel like I should be.

Throwing on Sam's hoodie that I haven't burnt yet, I wrap my hair up and go back out.Tali has made himself at home with his feet up on the coffee table, his brows go up seeing a man's attire wrapped around my body and his playfulness doesn't mask the hurt as he asks, "Don't tell me you're married or some shit?"

We both promised to be each other's best man/woman and I look at his hands as I answer. "Not married or some shit. This belonged to my dickhole ex, I forgot to burn it with the rest of his things."

It's as though no time has passed, and he pulls on my arm, forcing me to sit beside him. He throws his arm over my shoulders and a violent promise laces through his voice. "Did the cunt hurt you?"

Humiliation is worse than hurt. Sam wasn't anything serious, he was just someone who managed to get my mind off Valentin for at least five minutes. Until he tried fucking my cousin and told me to my face that Isabella was always his first choice.Shaking the thoughts away, I give Tali a vague answer and change the topic.

"I saw Vlad, he said he was getting married."

He drops the topic and starts telling me about his sister in law and recounts all the things I've missed. He skirts around the topic of Valentin, keeping it brief and looking away. He's a terrible liar and there's no chance he knows about my feelings for his brother, or he would be reiterating the fact our friendship means more. It's something deeper, more significant, and my brain latches onto every possible scenario in his silence. Dread weighs me down as I ask, "What about Val? Is he married, or has he got a fiancée too?"

I didn't even check, I was too happy at finally being stood in front of him.Tali turns rarely serious, and his sadness mutes his usually bright eyes. "He doesn't have anyone, it's a bit complicated, and he's probably pissed at you for not telling him."

I didn't have time to think before leaving, Carly's bruised face was in front of me, shouting how they were going to kill her and then tio was there telling me to pack. I don't even know the argument they had. It was just raised muffled voices until he told her that she's no longer part of the family before driving away.Focusing on the rational Vartanov in front of me, I plead my case knowing he won't be angry.

"I had an hour to pack my things," I say and pull my sleeves over my hands. "My uncle was pissed, and he didn't want to deal with the shit Carly had gotten herself involved in. I think she was high, she didn't hear a single thing he said until he told her to fix her life before she ends up dead in a ditch."

I don't even know if my own sister is alive. She's never tried to reach out apart from her boyfriend forging a letter pretending to be her and asking for money to go to rehab. If it was my choice I would have given it to them, told them to fucking choke on the bills for ruining everything when my life had already been turned upside down.

My best friend turns the TV on and flicks through the channels as he flippantly says, "Nah, she was going through withdrawals. She didn't use while she was pregnant."

Snatching the control from his hand, I throw it across the room. My sister was pregnant? She didn't tell me. I have a niece or nephew? I'm an aunty. My voice comes out small under all the weird emotions thrumming through my veins. "She had a baby?"

He doesn't answer and my body turns cold. There's a little baby in the middle of her shit, an innocent child that had never done anything wrong but has the misfortune of having a greedy fucking coward for a mother. His own shock comes out and he scrubs a hand over his head, gripping his nape. "Fuck. You didn't know? We thought that's why you disappeared."

Whatever his next thought is doesn't get a voice and he pushes forward to hold my shoulders as his lips move but I can't hear anything. I should have fucking stayed in Brazil, it was less confusing and at least that part of my life made some sense. This is just fucked up layers with more fuckery underneath. Kissing my head, he leaves like there's a fire licking at his heels.

Tears burn the back of my throat at what state the kid could be in. The last thing the investigator told us was that Carly was living with an MC before she stole their drugs and tried to sell them out to their rivals. How the fuck was she so wrapped up in crime? Did she just fucking search ‘100 ways to fuck your own life up' online and work her way through the list?

She can fuck her own life up as much as she wants but I'm not letting an innocent child pay for her fucking fun. Grabbing my laptop, I search through all the documents I've kept over the years. There's no mention of her being pregnant, she disappeared for eighteen months and reappeared worse than ever.I don't know what drugs she was on, but they've definitely become more destructive over the years. There's only one person I have, and I grab my phone knowing he's already had to bear the burden of my sister's mistakes.

Tio answers with a smile in his voice asking about my showcase and I hate having to hurt him. "Did you know Carly was pregnant?"

The one thing I learnt and experienced from my extended family is love, a bond that they'll never let break and his low curse is filled with regret before he shows his care.

"There was never anything mentioned in the reports I got. Do you know if the baby was okay?" he says it slowly not wanting to ask the real question that we're both thinking.

The way she was living wasn't healthy for her as an adult never mind a child who would have been relying on her not to be reckless.

I deflate and shrug. "I've just found out. My friend told me she was pregnant, but he didn't mention anything about the baby."

He doesn't say anything as his footsteps move through his office and then keys tap in the background of his reassurance.

"I'll look into it, don't worry."

Ending the call, I sit there staring at the wall. There are too many questions and no answers. I hate her for not telling me, if she did, I would have given her the money to raise her son without any issues. But she had to lie.

Searching through any publicly reported births is a minefield. There's nothing that sticks out when I don't have a date, or sex or fucking anything. You can't have a baby and not go to a hospital or have any record. It's already dark outside and the low light from the lamp beside me casts a glare on my laptop screen as I continue searching any combination of names my sister could have used.

I don't even know who the father of my own niece or nephew is. I'm assuming it's Leno, but his name doesn't bring any of his details up. I've heard stories about how kids grow up in group homes, feeling abandoned and unwanted. It's not going to be the life of my niece or nephew. I've only just found out they exist, and I need to make sure they're safe. If they're in a stable, happy home I won't take them from it, but I'll make sure the option for extra family is there.

Frustration burns my eyes and I wipe the tears collecting on my lashes as my mind focuses on the negatives. The front door jolts and I turn, looking over the edge of the sofa towards it. It's not a knock, whoever's at my door pushes all of their force into their fist with one blow. It's probably Tali, pissed at whatever information he ran off to find and I wipe at my eyes again as I go to open it.The chain rattles from the force of the second knock.

"I'm coming, give me a second you impatient shithead," I shout through the door.

As soon as I turn the lock it flies open and rage stares back at me. Valentin pushes forward with his nostrils flared and his fists clenched. His questioning is the last fucking thing I need right now.

"Did you fuck him?"

Pushing against his chest, my voice is too high pitched with all the emotions coursing through me. "Get out, you're an asshole."

He fucked me in broad daylight, left me there leaning against a wall exposed, and now he thinks he has any fucking right to question me on shit.

His calloused, inked fingers wrap around my neck and his sleeve rustles against something on his forearm. He walks us further inside and kicks the door closed. His brows come together, and he softens at the sight of my tears queueing up again .

"What happened, khudozhnik moya?"

I hate that name; I still don't know what it means but it haunts me. It's what he always calls me in my dreams. I relax, allowing myself the comfort and losing the battle with my emotions at the thought of a child's pain.

"Carly was pregnant, and I can't find anything about her kid, I don't even know if it's a boy or a girl."

Any softness disappears instantly. It's replaced with nothing but hellfire, the person in front of me isn't someone I recognize. It's not anger. Valentin is not just dark, there's not a word to describe the threatening look in his eyes. Disgust contorts his features and venom flows from his voice box. "You're a good fucking actress, you nearly had me fooled."

My head is going to explode with all the new information and his misplaced hate. Wiping my face with my sleeves, my bottom lip wobbles as a sob chokes me. "What did I do to you?"

He's being cruel and aiming to hurt me in the two instances he's been in front of me. There's nothing I could have done that would justify it, leaving isn't a good enough excuse.

Squeezing my neck, he moves closer and presses his lips to my cheek. He doesn't kiss me. He's tasting my tears the fucking freak. The anger doesn't leave, and he fogs everything even more with the cryptic bullshit.

"Your guilt doesn't mean shit to me, not when I've been reading the proof for fucking years. You're a lying, twisted bitch."

My body sways as he pushes me back and drops his hold on my neck before turning to leave.Stopping him before he can reach the door, I grab his arm rushing out, "What proof do you have? I didn't do shit to you."

I should let him go but the girl who was in love with him and forgave everything he did without him acknowledging it is begging me not to. She's the stupid one because that boy doesn't exist anymore. The man he's become doesn't temper himself as he turns towards me, stepping forward until his shoes touch my toes. I look up, waiting for his bullshit to come out and straighten my spine. My bravery is rooted in childhood memories that are set aflame with each syllable as he snarls, "You said my son would be better off dead!"

His son ?

Valentin doesn't have a son.

Or any child?

Brutal satisfaction faces off against my confusion and Val pulls an old phone out of his pocket. I recognize it as Carly's from years ago, the last time I saw her it was held at her ear as she threatened to call someone to kill our uncle. Tapping on the screen, he turns it to face me as he begins reading the messages that I never sent, and he takes a step closer with each one.

"I've been in their house, they'll kill him."

I take a step back, so he doesn't step on me.

"You should just get rid of it."

My temples are throbbing.

"It will only end up dead anyway."

The pulsing moves behind my eyes.

"He's nothing to me."

Bile moves up my throat.

"It's going to be rotten, like it's father."

Losing the battle with my stomach, I fold in half emptying the contents beside me. I wouldn't speak about anyone like that, especially not my family or an innocent child. Footsteps move further away, and the faucet runs before they come back. My hair moved away from my face and a cold glass is pressed against my hand.

"Take small sips," he says softly.

I hate him. But I accept it without looking at him as my hand trembles bringing it to my lips.

The messages were on Carly's phone.

His son.

Carly was pregnant.

With Valentin's son.

Realization weakens my hand and the glass slips before it can touch my lips. It shatters on the floor between us along with my heart. He wouldn't. No, I must have heard him wrong. He didn't do that .He wouldn't let me sleep on his chest and kiss me while spinning a fairytale about marriage when he was sleeping with my sister.

But it's written on his face as I look up and a pit opens up in my stomach as I beg him to lie .

"You didn't get Carly pregnant?" He doesn't answer, and I punch against his chest repeating myself louder. "Tell me you didn't fuck my sister and have a child with her?!"

I believed him, laid on his fucking chest with hearts in my eyes while he was fucking my sister.

My fist flies out, hitting his jaw and rattling my hand. It doesn't even make him flinch and I have to shake my hand with the pain radiating through it. I go to do it again until my hand is broken but he roughly grabs my arms and tries to turn it on me.

"I didn't lie, you did. You left me, I would have given you everything."

Disgust has my lips curling and a bitter laugh rips from my throat. "I may be the youngest, but I never took Carly's hand me downs."

Valentin flinches back like I've hit him, and I finally understand why he always smiled when hurting people. It's satisfying.

The shards between us dig into my bare feet making me hiss and he loosens his hold on my arms as he looks down. He picks me up, ignoring my fight not to be touched.

"Get off me, I fucking hate you."

He's done the one thing I can't get past. Every day I watched the same Valentin with a different girl, it was always some asshole that was trying to ruin my life. I let it go, forgot about it. Fucking forgave it because I was a dumb teenager and the Val in school wasn't the Val at home.But this is different. He went too far and he's done something irreversible. He's forever bonded to my sister. They share a child together. A little boy. The first love of my life who I thought would be my only is the father of my nephew.

He tightens his hold on me as he steps over the glass crushing it under his shoes. Sitting on the sofa, he arranges me across his thighs and delicately holds my ankle, picking out the glass. My voice hardens as I kick into his filthy hands uncaring about the damage it's doing to me.

"I want to see my nephew."

His fingers tighten around the joint at my request. I won't accept a no. I need to make sure he's safe and hasn't been fucked up by whatever shit his stupid, immature parents have put him through.

Val grits his teeth and attempts to threaten me as his fingers wrap around my ankles to stop my kicking .

"If you try to take my son away from me, I will burn your fucking world to ash. With you in it."

Scrambling off his lap, I ignore the stinging in my soles and the pride in my chest. Some fucked up part of me is happy at his protectiveness, that my nephew is safe. If there's one thing the Vartanov's know how to do, it's being there for each other.It's my own fault for incorrectly thinking I was included in that. I never was because the dumb fuck in front of me only ever cares about his nasty dick.

I swallow around my fear as he raises to his full height and steel my spine.

"I will know my nephew, and I never want to see you or Carly again. You deserve each other." Sadness has me deflating, robbing me of my prior strength. "You're everything everyone always said you were Valentin, and now you are nothing to me."

You broke the hope I was holding on to.

He grabs my throat and hauls me forward taking up my vision. His face is set in hard lines and menacing to match his tone.

"I'm nothing ? You let me fuck you a few hours ago but I'm fucking nothing?!" My body shakes in his hold as he vibrates with rage and his hurt bleeds out. "You fucking left me!" His fingers tighten around my neck, and he leans into my face allowing me to see all his anger. "I lost you, but I still kept looking for years !"

Our noses are nearly touching when he lets out his full cruelty and I fight before he can wreck me with his most weapon – his tongue.

Slapping at his arm my own hurt comes out louder and more pained.

"I lost everything! My family fucking died , then I lost the second one I chose!"

Fuck him for thinking he had it hard, he still had his brothers. I left everything I fucking knew because of other people's lies. All because of money and manipulation to achieve what? Pain and more fucking heartache.

Tears mute my anger as I push at his chest to get him away from me. "I lost everything while you were raising your child with my sister ."

A bitter laugh leaves him as he shakes his head. He loosens his hold on my neck enough for me to step back. The need to inflict pain sits in my tongue stopping him from speaking .

"I'm on birth control, not that it matters to you seeing as it's not a requirement. Don't worry I'll be getting tested since no one ever knows where you've been."

Turning before I sink lower and let every horrible untruthful thought out of my head, I limp towards the bathroom, trying not to put pressure on the glass in my heel.The door slams behind me but it doesn't release my frustration. I lower to sit on the edge of the tub and try to stop my heart from breaking waiting for him to leave. It wasn't real love – I know it wasn't. But it hurts more than any other pain I've felt.

Everyone knew how I felt about Val. Carly would tease me saying I'm only friends with Tali because I was obsessed with him. She fucking betrayed me, stealing from me wasn't the first time. It's when she slept with him knowing how I felt, knowing it would hurt me. My only safe space was in their house, and he destroyed it to get his dick wet.All this time I've spent worrying about her and she took the place I'd created in their home.

The front door clicks closed allowing my sobs free. All my regrets that followed me to sleep over leaving are taunting me. I fucking cried, missed him while he was playing happy families with my sister.That hurts more than if he was with someone else, it would be unrealistic to expect him not to when he couldn't even do it when I was in front of him. But my stupid fucking heart convinced itself that there was some truth in our last moments together.

Fuck him. Fuck all of them. It's the ultimate hurt and I pick the glass out of my feet before I rinse them off, only focusing on what I have control over. I won't let my nephew suffer because he has shitty parents. The only family who are worth anything to me are my aunts and uncles. Every child deserves that same care of being loved and doted on. I blow out a breath whilst shaking my shoulders out. My face is splotchy and red, so I force the sobs away and splash cold water on my face. I'll ring tio, he's probably as rich as the Vartanov's and as well connected so he'll know what to do.

Stepping out of the bathroom my resolve doesn't follow me with Vlad staring right at me. Valentin stands back allowing his big brother to clean up his messes like fucking always, pathetic fucking prick. Vlad looks at the wet patch on the floor where I'd thrown up, Val cleaned it but the paper towels don't cover the puddle on the rug. Vlad smirks and acts like a twat.

"I hope the vomit is the only bodily fluid in that puddle."

He's a fucking prick.

Going into the kitchen to find somewhere to hide my fear, he taps on the island three times and pushes a cheque towards me. "Write whatever you want, we've already given your worthless sister her share."

Shame washes over me like I had any control over what Carly did. She sold her child like an object. Out of everything, that's the worst of her sins. I find a pen and pull the blank cheque closer to fill in my demand before pushing it back.