47. Ana

FORTY-SEVEN

Ana

E very limb burns as they're pulled and my vision blurs. My head is too heavy to pick up as my chin remains magnetized to my chest. Yulia's perfume is in the air, making me grimace and I shake my head, forcing it to move. She's sitting here but this isn't her house as I look around me at the smooth gray wall, it's a concrete warehouse.

Dread takes over me. Only one person uses concrete warehouses and the chains forcing me against the wall don't rattle with how taut they're pulled as I search each corner of my punishment for Rowan. There's no one else and the door to my left is open. It's not a punishment, it's a holding building.

No stains on the floor, no mirror masks, no Rowan.

But Yulia sits opposite me, admiring her jewelry and making sure the rings line up how she wants them as she admonishes me.

"You always were a pest, I see that hasn't changed."

The chains are stretching my arms and I grit my teeth so she can't see my pain.

"Fuck you, I know what you did."

She raises one brow and I let the fact I'm dressed comfort me despite the blood sticking my jeans to my skin as I let out my hurt.

"You took me when I was a baby, I wasn't given to you. I already had a family and you did your trick."

She told me that they had to take me because there was no one else but Vlad cried. He cried . Someone did want me, he wanted me enough to cry when he's crazy. And he said Val and Tali were nice to me, that we were friends. But she took it all away from me. She pulled her special trick of switching out the babies when her abuse would kill them for a live one. A simple exchange of product is how she would describe it like we're not lives, breathing, feeling beings.

The only thing I can move is my head and I try to push forward but she smirks, the cunt, and drops her voice to the one that she always used when forcing me to learn.

"You're thinking about it all wrong."

She pushes out of her seat, and I pull my head back so it's against the wall as she walks forward. Her hand comes up and she keeps the rest of her body out of reach of my head as she strokes my hair.

"Think about how special you are?" she muses. "Think about how I went through all of that trouble for you . I didn't give you to the clients did I, no, you were my little girl?"

Ants. They're all over my skin and I can't move to get them off.

It weakens me and my voice turns childlike as I ask, "Why?"

She shrugs and shows her true evil as she continues adding more phantom ants to my skin with her hand stroking over my hair.

"Because you were the perfect person to replace what was taken from me. You could be trained. I did such a good job with you, and you were nearly perfect. We'd already done it to your father, and he was supposed to be mine."

Bile burns up the back of my throat and nose as I stupidly ask, "What were you going to do to him?"

I don't want to know, but I can't stop myself because maybe I didn't save B, but I might have saved Vlad, then I'm not evil and there's a reason for this. I just need to be a person, not a game or a power trip, something real that exists. I watch her as she continues stroking my hair and her other hand flattens on my chest as she shakes her head in anger.

"You look like a woman now."

Her nostrils flare and she takes a deep breath before answering me.

"We already did it. Marlo couldn't part with his money maker. You know how much people used to pay for the opportunity to tear down the devil? To be the one who broke him?"

She smiles as she reminisces and sighs, "But you were better than him, weren't you? Because you broke him when we made him unbreakable."

She wanted Vlad, but he doesn't know who she is. I hope he tortures her for years and rips her head off to piss down her throat.

The ants don't leave despite her taking a step back and she goes on one of her rants.

"That bastard, Marlo, was too egotistical to think that he could keep it under his control. I told him to give me it when it was born. It's ironic because I always said his ego would kill him and it did."

My voice comes back at the way she's talking about a child.

"He's not an it. He's a person."

Her face sharpens, eyes hardening, and making me freeze as true evil perfumes the air.

"No. He was holes," she snarls. "He was a means to make money, and he made the most. You wouldn't know because you had to train the others, but he didn't need to be trained." Everything becomes more sinister, her face twisting in glee as she bites out, "He. Just. Was."

I might not like him, and he is an asshole, but he's still a person and my anger boils over forcing a scream out of me full of murder.

"He's my dad, you sick fucking cunt!"

She takes a step back as I try to fight the chains and remain fixed against the wall. I can't reach her and spit in her direction. It hits her shoe and I keep talking to force the vomit away.

"He was a child. You don't hurt children."

She shakes her head and takes a step back without forcing me to lick her shoe, for once. Her tone becomes conversational as she repeats her sick fucking crimes with pride.

"I never hurt him. You watched the videos every night, you should know that after the training he enjoyed it, like you helped the others learn."

She laughs and her face lights up.

"It's poetic, no? Your daddy made you the teacher you were."

Something inside of me dies, knowing she's telling the truth.

I hated those videos of the little boy being unable to stand and I'd be forced to count how many people entered the room while he was still passed out. There were always rounds of three.

Three men, three women, three people to clean him up to get ready for it all to happen again. I hated her tying me to the chair and holding my eyes open to watch them and now I hate them even more because it was Vlad. Vlad who counts in threes and who's my dad. Vlad the person everyone's scared of, but he cried.

I've been watching him cry since I was a child and promising to save him from them. All of the times I've hidden in the fake forest in my head, pretended that I'm B with a dad to protect me, but I was promising my dad that I'd save him.

She recounts the details as I squeeze my eyes shut to get the sounds away.

"Did you say thank you to me, Ana? I allowed you to watch your family. Your father, your grandparents. Your grandmother was in every single one of them. I allowed you to know your family."

I'm on Venus. With Dima.

"I wanted it . That power and control over an animal, a natural, at first for the clients, but when you died, he would have made an amazing guard. No one like you would have been able to touch us had Marlo allowed us to take it. But he was selfish, so we all must suffer."

She pauses and assesses me before cooing, "Don't be upset, you were remembered."

She laughs and I flinch.

"The first few years were comical, the way he'd sit beside your grave and talk to you. How he made it a place for safety so the other two couldn't be trained, but," her laugh gets louder, more vile and insidious, "he didn't know that those bones belonged to me just like you."

She takes her seat again and looks at my spit drying on her shoe with disgust. I'm going to shove shit down her throat for the next ten years. As soon as the chains loosen, I'll do it. She doesn't say anything further and I keep looking for something to escape as my joints burn.

Dress shoes tap against the floor and the metal backplate clicks against the concrete, making me snap my head in his direction. Rowan walks towards me without his guards, no mirrored masks, and his shoulder twitches. He turns his head towards Yulia and the burn is there, making me smile. Until he looks at me and those pale blue eyes that are nearly white lock onto my eyes.

There's no barrier to protect me anymore and he always used to make me take out my contacts before giving me a mirrored mask.

"Remember the first thing you were taught, sweet girl," he says and smiles, taking a step closer to me. The ants intensify, mixing with scorpions and snakes at those two words — sweet girl. It's what he calls the ones he finds the most interesting.

Because breaking them is the sweetest.

"Fuck you, you ugly cunt!" I scream.

He tilts his head to the side slightly, feigning warmth as he tuts, "Now now, settle, you don't want to hurt yourself on the chains again, do you?"

He's worse than Yulia and the only person I have ever been afraid of because he lures you in with conversation and then twists it all. Rowan has the ability to appear normal while he sits back and robs people of their choices. It's always by fucking with their head, twisting everything they know until they're a husk. He is the thing that makes people wrong. But I can't stop myself from speaking as his words bounce through the filing cabinet and I need to prove I'm not wrong.

"You didn't teach me anything. You're a sick cunt like her."

My shoulders are close to dislocating and my inner thighs burn from being stretched for so long, but I can't show them my pain when they like it, so I focus on a spot on the wall. The tap and click move closer like a creepy metronome until his disgusting breath touches my cheek as he whispers darkly, "I taught you everything ."

I throw my head to the side, hitting air as he continues fucking with my head.

"You used to be so obedient, but you changed when you were five. What happened to you, sweet girl?"

I stay silent. Just keep looking at the wall, don't look into his eyes.

"Was it because you couldn't talk anymore?"

My vision blurs as I shut down.

"Is that what made you snap?" He pops his lips on the last word and humor fills his voice.

It all becomes blobs of concrete gray.

"Is that why you became so violent?" he coos, "And you didn't want to help with my dolls anymore? You were so good with them." He touches my cheek and I'd rather be burnt alive. "Do you remember?"

My head turns at the reminder of the dollhouse, the place he created with the sole purpose of stripping people of their personhood. No one has ever left alive, and death isn't a release from the filth that happens there, it's a sentence to worse and the smell of cooking the flesh is back. I can't see the images of cutting them up to feed everyone, but I can smell it. The knife was bigger than my arm and it hurt to do it as he watched me, telling me I was doing a good job.

Always saying how good I was, how clever and helpful.

I manage to look at him, refusing to accept I'm anything like these freaks as I snap, "No. It's because you're sick bastards and you all deserve to die."

He takes a step closer to me as he smiles. It looks wrong and his eyes are filled with too much sickness, contrasting against his dark brown hair as he stays out of reach while taunting me.

"You can play with my dolls now, we can even make new games, as long as you take your punishment for misbehaving and become my good little girl again, you can join us."

Dima always says good girl and it fills me warmth. This just adds more insects to live under my skin and crawl between my organs. They itch as their legs dig into each part of me and multiply. So many ants.

I clench my teeth, my body shaking along with the chains from the force of keeping my pained whimper back as he strokes my cheek with the tip of his finger. "I have so much to teach you, sweet girl, you'd like that, wouldn't you?"

I don't speak and remind myself of facts. I have a dad now, like B, he's crazy and he'll kill everyone. I think he will anyway, and uncles who might too. And I have a Dima, he's not crazy but he promised not to leave me alone.

Everything crumbles inside of me at the reminder of how he was laid on the floor. I'll meet him in Venus, yeah he said he'll meet me there. Dima and me, no Yulia, and no Rowan. We'll have two more planets until we get to the sun. It will just be Dima and me.

My silence makes everything louder and there's a faint hum. Rowan takes a step back, taking out his phone. Whatever he reads on the screen pisses him off because his shoulder twitches outside of his usual pattern. He abruptly turns, walking towards the open door and says to Yulia over his shoulder, "Get rid of her, she's no fun anymore."

She gets up, listening to his every command like the little bitch she is. Rowan pauses at the threshold of the door to look at me with his lips in a stupid fucking smirk.

"I wonder if he'll bury you himself for the second time. The first time was entertaining to watch." He sighs and smiles to himself as he holds up his phone, showing a red dot. "We'll find out." And the door slams as he leaves.

Yulia doesn't step closer to me. She goes to the side, out of my line of sight on the same wall as me and the chains groan as they're loosened. My arms drop heavily at my sides, and I smile, seeing the knife she picks up. As soon as the chains give me enough freedom to walk, I drag myself towards her but she's still out of reach.

"Come closer, you dumb bitch," I dare.

She takes a step back and shakes her head. All the color has drained from her face and her beady little snake eyes flick from the door to me as though she's expecting someone to walk in.

"I've learnt from your exploits how much damage you can cause."

My limbs are weighed down from being stretched for so long and I can't lift them with the heavy chains secured against my wrists and ankles. I still try and bite down on my own teeth through the pain as I stare at the bitch.

"That was me warming up," I confirm. "But now, you don't have Nina and I'll get my reward for everything you took from me and what you did to my dad." I lean forward and smile, unblinking. "It's going to be fun testing out everything I've learnt and all my new ideas on you."

Her anger comes out and she snaps her head to me. Some of the color is replaced in her face as she spits, "You think you are anything to harm me?" She looks me up and down and her lips curl up into a snarl. "You are nothing, nobody, you don't even exist. I fed you, named you, and made you what you are."

My mouth opens, ready to tell her that she's wrong and I am a person but I'm cut off as the entire building rocks, a deafening crash that has concrete dust erupting from the walls, and I laugh to myself, knowing she's going to die. I lock onto her, watching the fear on her face, and smile widely because this means Dima is alive. He didn't leave me. If anyone found me, they found him first.

My voice is lighter at the knowledge I'll see the twin moons soon.

"I told you I have a dad, uncles too," I say then drop my voice to singsong, "They're all crazy and they don't like you."

The knife clatters against the concrete floor at my feet and she shakily pulls her phone out of her pocket as she gives me an order.

"Slit your throat. And leave the knife in."

Fuck her.

"Do it yourself, you lazy cunt," I fire back.

I'm not dying when I have Dima. Val and Tali won't let him die, they call him their stepdad and they care about him.

He was breathing, they found him, and they fixed him.

Yulia brings her phone up and I can't make sense of what I'm seeing until she says, "Do it or that man you love dies."

I don't blink as I stare at the screen. It's an operating table, the person's chest is open with blood everywhere, I can see his heart but there's too much blood.

The camera slowly pans up, showing above the blue curtain and the first thing I see is the ink on his neck.

Then Dima's face with a tube in his mouth.

He's not here.

And he's not on Venus.

The chains rattle as I scream, "DON'T FUCKING TOUCH HIM!"

It echoes off the walls as I try to snatch the phone away from her, but she remains out of reach.

"Get away from him! He didn't do anything!"

No, he's mine. He knows me, he's the only person who knows me and she's taking him away. Like my bouncy ball. He was supposed to be hidden like my sticker so she couldn't take him away.

There are no more explosions or noise, I made it up because Dima isn't here. This is worse than my bouncy ball, she's not melting him because she's going to keep him. I watch the screen, afraid to look away as my vision blurs and she speaks quietly, or my mind is breaking again.

"You remember our doctors, how they led normal lives? One call, Ana, that's all it will take for the good doctor to turn from a surgeon ready to save his patient to the client indebted to me. He's healthy too, I'm sure The Three would appreciate the parts of him that are salvageable. The Dollhouse would make use of his body, you'd want that, wouldn't you? For the man you love not to be wasted in death?"

No, they'll eat him and do fucked up things to his body.

He doesn't deserve that.

He deserves everything.

Rowan and Yulia can't have him.

I have to step back to pick up the knife and I beg as I stand there, holding it in my hand. "Please don't hurt him. I'll do it, just don't hurt him, okay?"

She nods and it takes longer to bring the knife to my throat with the heaviness in my limbs. I keep watching Dima, it's wrong that I can see inside his chest. It should have his kot and ranking tattoos instead of blood. The cool blade touches my neck at the same time as the door opens. I don't care about Rowan, he can fuck off. I just need Dima to be okay.

Maybe I can really become a ghost and I can wait here with him before we go to Venus together, that way I can make these fucking cunts crazy until it's just me and Dima. Yeah, I'll get to lay on his back while he does pushups and I won't be able to feel him, but I'll keep him safe.

Yulia's urgency increases and the image of Dima's chest shakes as she rushes out, "If anything happens to me that call will be made."

One pair of heavy, booted footsteps move into the room and Vlad's voice booms, "Get the fuck away from her."

I turn to see him covered in blood. He's not wearing a mask like the other times we've done this and his face falls when he looks at me. He stills, his chest barely moving then he picks his foot up to walk towards Yulia and my eyes burn as I scream, "NO! Don't touch her!"

I turn back to the bitch who is going to hurt the only person that means anything to me.

"I'll do it. Just stop them, okay. I'll do it, you know I will."

She just stares at me, her finger still hovering above her screen.

"I always listen to you," I beg. "I did everything you wanted, all the training, the videos, everything,"

There's barely a gap between the glass of her phone screen and the pad of her thumb.

"I'll do it again?—"

"No you fucking won't," Vlad cuts me off but I ignore him.

"I'll be your little girl who listens to you, please."

I nod, trying to get her to agree, and hot lines move down my face.

"She's mine," Vlad grits, his nostrils flared and eyes wild as he stares at Yulia, holding himself taut. "Not. Fucking. Yours." The blood on his temples is drying in patches and he looks crazier than normal as he punches the side of his fist against his chest. "My. Daughter."

Yulia looks from him to her phone and I cry out, "NO! Please, please, please don't."

She pointedly looks at the knife, telling me what she wants.

Vlad's shout adds to the noise of the filing cabinets all being opened.

"Vanya, no! Put the knife down. She's not going to fucking hurt you," he promises.

My eyes close, trying to get it to stop but Dima is my lock, and she has my lock.

"STOP! Don't hurt her, if you hurt her, I'll die," I beg.

"Don't you fucking dare, I lost you once because of this cunt, it's not happening again."

Pain slices through me as my heavy limb struggles to apply the pressure that's needed to stop her. He can't die.

There's a beep, and my eyes snap open to see Yulia dial a number. She's only input the first digit and I beg the asshole to fuck off as he takes a step closer.

"STOP! Please stop!" I turn to Yulia. "He won't come closer, he'll leave, I promise, we'll do everything, just stop!" Then look at Vlad as everything turns blurry. "You'll leave, won't you, Vlad?"

I keep nodding and my neck grazes the edge of the knife, but he doesn't say anything.

A laugh pierces the air, full of cruelty, but she stops dialing. "I thought you had a dad, and you're calling him by his name?"

Vlad's voice is rougher and more emotional than I've ever heard it, but he doesn't move. "Shut the fuck up, don't talk to my daughter or even fucking look at her."

They forget I'm here as he tries to make a deal with her.

"What do you want?"

She shrugs and answers easily, still not dialing. "You ruined and unable to be a problem any longer."

"Done," he says easily, bringing his gun to his temple.

"NO! STOP!" I scream.

He can't die. If he dies, Inessa will be sad, Dima will be too, they're friends, and Verena is a baby, Inessa is having another baby. Real babies need their parents.

It's too loud and I need it to stop. Everything is mixing together as they keep talking and I can't move my arm enough to save Dima.

"He'll only try to save you," Yulia says.

"Vanya, don't you fucking dare, you will not fucking die."

"Grief is beautiful thing."

"Don't leave me twice," Vlad begs.

"The first time he rose."

"Look at me, solnyshkuh."

"The second time he'll crumble," Yulia ends with glee in her voice.

There's another sound, a click. She's calling the surgeon to kill Dima. I can't lose my lock. I can't lose Dima . He's more than the bouncy ball and the sticker. He makes me a person and he knows me.

I find the energy I need to dig the sharp point of the knife in the exact place I told Vlad to stab me when I first met him. Blood fills my throat, choking me, as a gunshot goes off. I don't have enough energy to slice, and my knees weaken.

Bone cracks off the concrete before I hit the floor and a deafening scream full of pain echoes off each concrete slab.

"VANYA!"

I crumble and the knife is jammed to the hilt as the edge of the handle cracks off the concrete floor. The concrete splinters from the impact and more blood travels through my throat, it pours over my hand and my vision blurs further.

I can't blink to clear it and it creates false images.

The small patches of skin visible on Vlad's face lose all color. The semi-dried blood is darker against it as he sits on his knees with his hands limply on the floor, and his eyes are freaky. Pained red makes the icy blue colder and he stretches his hands out towards me as the gun clatters like he's forgotten it exists. The fake image of him gets closer, crawling towards me on his hands and knees. He's demonic with his face covered in red and I'm slowly dragged backward towards the wall as heels rapidly click against the floor.

The chains groan, pulling my hand away from the knife as my limbs are stretched again. I manage to clear some of the blurriness but dark orbs float at the edges of my vision. The crawling image of Vlad speeds up and his chest heaves as his voice cracks.

"Vanya, no, solnyshkuh."

Multiple booted footsteps ring out in the background and the chains stop tugging as I'm forced in the opposite direction of the wall. I'm pulled onto hard thighs, and my head is cradled like I'm a child. Boiling liquid hits my cheek, but I can't see as pressure is applied to my throat and soft begging reaches my ears.

"Shhh, it's okay. Papa will get you medicine. I'll fix it, solnyshkuh, just open your eyes."

More drops hit my cheek, and something touches my hair. The chains rattle against each other as my body moves from side to side. There are more footsteps but I can't hear anyone breathe as I gurgle, "D-D?—"

"Shhh." The rocking continues, softly swaying me from side to side, "I'll fix it, solnyshkuh, papa will fix it. Just stay awake, stay with me, I'll fix it this time."

I try to ask for Dima, to help him again, but I can't because there's something slipping down the back of my throat as pressure bands against my neck.

"Can you smile for papa? Come on, Vanoushka, open your eyes."

More hot drops hit my face, and everything darkens as my senses slowly leave.

"No, no! You can't leave me again, please, solnyshkuh."

Warmth covers me despite everything inside turning cold and the whispering turns panicked, childlike, and innocent.

"Please, don't leave me. Not again, not when I've got you again. Please, Vanya, please. Open your eyes, my beautiful baby. Smile for papa. Please don't fucking leave me again."

The hot drops get faster, coating my cheeks and the cold intensifies with the whispers.

"Open your eyes for papa, please, solnyshkuh. Don't leave me, please don't leave me again. Not again. Not blue again, please."

The coldness seeping through my body is a stark contrast to the heat swiping over my face.

"You'll be okay, I'll get you the medicine."

Warmth covers my cheek and presses against my forehead.

"I can't lose you, not again. My happy baby, please open your eyes."

The soft hum of the song I made up fills the air and my soul sinks down, out of my body into a dark space that's not Venus with the whispers fading.

"Open your eyes, I'll get you a new p?—"