39. Ana

THIRTY-NINE

Ana

I wish one of these sick fucks would be brave enough to take off their mask. Being locked in our own rooms makes it harder to differentiate who is who on the outside world unless they were to dress the exact same. Dima doesn't let me off his knee and he controls his breathing as I block out the images in front of me.

Each pod is equipped with everything they could need to hurt someone. Ropes, bandages, plastic, knives. The panel of glass in front of us has a film on it that distorts everything unless I'm staring straight ahead at the lit up podium made of steel.

I get another glimpse of them as the sick fuckers come back to their rooms after they've completed their inspections like they're not placing their bids on children. Sick cunts. I hope they get maggots in their genitals. That's a good torture idea, it would stink but I don't think Dima would like to watch it.

The light above the door blinks, showing this category's auction is coming to an end and I keep my chin tucked to my chest as I watch the blurry image of the doors surrounding the podium in a circle close one by one. Nina isn't here but everyone was talking to each other about the special item. That's what they call people – items. Not a human being, an item.

A hand squeezes my thigh, making me get out of my head. But Dima doesn't say anything with our eavesdroppers present. Val and Tali are idiots to think I can't handle doing this when I've been watching this stuff since I was a child. I didn't have cartoons, it was horror-movie-level material labelled as porn. The bottom half of Dima's face is exposed, and he shifts so his lips can press against my nape. It's virtually soundless but Val and Tali hiss over each other.

"I heard that, you pervert."

"Take your dirty lips off my sister."

Air brushes my neck before Dima ignores them and does it again.

If I grew up with them as my brothers I'd have been sheltered, no one would have ever touched me. It's nice now only because I've lived a different life, but it would have been annoying. The normal life I imagined of having parents would still have been a dream, or I'd still be a crazy person who kills people, but at least I didn't have to grow up with Vlad telling me what to do. It's only been a few years of him annoying me and I don't know how Val has put up with it. I would have made a pact with him to kill the eldest Vartanov.

My stomach settles a little when the announcer moves onto the next category. It's fucked up that the best part of the change is the fact these sex slaves aren't children. Adult minds still can't cope with this shit but there's something more insidious about people lusting after a small body. Craving the ultimate vulnerability that only comes with age.I don't let anything outside of the room fully sink into my senses as I remember what Dima wanted me to promise. I'll break it if I focus on the people fucking while watching other people in pain and my hands itch to kill someone.

Vlad must be letting Val and Tali watch the screen now because they both fall silent. They don't know the three categories before this one were children; pregnant women being lead out not knowing their unborn baby was going to be ripped from them and it's sad that they were cradling their bellies when the bids were for the very thing they were trying to protect. My chest aches, tallying how many lives are going to be altered. Doing the same with the bids has my blood boiling. People aren't a fucking business, everyone deserves to be left alone.

I can rationalize everything. Drugs, fine it's a choice. It destroys lives but there's no one literally holding a gun to someone's head. Murder, acceptable. Robbery, go wild. The list goes on, but this is different. It's wanting to own a person then force them to become subhuman. People treat their toilets with more respect than they will these living, breathing people.My stomach burns, remembering the punishments from the first time I questioned everything. I have a name now, family, I know things, and I know this is wrong. I might be wrong too, but this is worse than me because I can tell it's wrong. That thought is the only thing that allows me to live with all the bad things I've done.

The distorted voice filters through the speakers in the room and the burning increases, flowing through my veins, as I work out who it is. The way Rowan would end words in a specific manner gives him away as the sick cunt gives his instructions and the lights go off then flicker back on to reveal the person he's using in his sick game.

"The next round of bids won't be to buy a product, but an experience. All bids will be accepted. You will have fifteen minutes to collect, and you will be called up in descending order."

Dima sucks in a sharp breath and his fingers tighten around my knees.I can't touch him with the cameras in the room and let my hands fall further so my knuckles brush his hands.

His whisper isn't for me or for our eavesdroppers as he holds his breath. "This is fucked up."

I want to apologize. He doesn't like normal torture, and this is worse as the bids go wild to be able to do anything they want to a young man. Man is used loosely; he must only be nineteen if I'm being generous.

There are no scars on his body, making them all eager to be the first one to lay claim. His eyes are fixed straight ahead, unseeing. When the platform stops rotating, they're locked directly on me, and I don't look away. He's a human being to me, I might not feel the pain, but I can remember his face and know he existed so I can make sure that everyone who hurt him feels worse. Just like when Yulia would make me watch the videos, I look in his eyes, giving silent promises to save him and kill everyone who hurts him.

"None of you watch this shit, go outside." Vlad's order to his — our — brothers shows this is worse than he thought.

Dima's chest shakes and he digs his fingers into my skin harder as the first person comes out. No knife. That's worse. He wants to scar his soul and lips press against my nape with urgency. I don't look at the act but watch the man's eyes, it's worse seeing them not have fight. He's been trained already and that means he was born into it. Fucking Yulia, the stupid bitch. Why can't she just leave people alone? Let them have their fight and their fucking freedom?

I'm a statue, I'm reverting back to being in those rooms as he screams and the body forcing him to all fours blurs behind him. I'm going to break my promise. I can't keep it while someone is getting hurt. He's being tortured and the podium stops spinning so that the nasty fucker isn't put at any disadvantage as he laughs at the wide metal pipe sticking out of the man's behind.

It all blurs, my mind is splitting again and weaving different realities in front of me, so I don't have more files in my head.

Once all the bidders have left him bloody and bruised, the lights go off and there's a small flicker in the corner. Stupid cunts they've just given away their hidden door. I've been watching every wall waiting for it to be revealed and the person on the other side has fucked up. As soon as Nina is with the others I'll get everyone else they're fucking bidding on outside and kill Rowan. That will be fun.

They repeat the same process with a variety of different bodies, and my heart leaps out of my chest when they announce the fourth in the dark.

"This one is special, she's remarkable and she will always smile no matter what she experiences, the sweetest girl to bring your fantasies to life."

I hate him. He said she was boring, and I thought that meant she was safe, but it just made Nina safe from Rowan himself, not other people he knows. The lights come back on, and I stop breathing.

Nina stands on the platform without anything to cover her body. There are more scars on her body and her smile is on her lips, but it will never reach her eyes again as long as she's here. Why is she still smiling? I told her not to fucking smile, stupid fucking idiot, she didn't listen.

She robotically lifts her amputated arm as the distorted voice says, "Just look at her arm."

She didn't fucking smile. They hacked at her, and she cried. She cried for weeks and months. Until her eyes were swollen shut and she couldn't fucking stand when it got infected.

Dima presses his lips against my nape again and puts in a bid. He doesn't stop alternating between the button and my nape, trying to get the highest bid. The fuckers don't even announce it, all bids are silent so we don't know who will be first until the red light flashes showing the bids have ended.

"It's okay, we'll get her." His whisper doesn't make me relax, neither do the other three saying the same thing in my ear.

"Easy, pipsqueak, a few more minutes."

Sweat beads against my skin while I wait for the fuckers to turn the light above the door green.

No.

No, we aren't first. The Volto mask has me itching to break through the glass, but Dima holds me to him and whispers, "Little longer, then we'll leave with her."

There's no chatter in our ears and my heart breaks all over again as I watch the three fuckers who beat our bids.

Forty-five minutes of seeing her tortured.

Again.

Doing nothing about it.

Again.

But Nina keeps smiling. I told her not to fucking smile. They'd ruin her. Why didn't she listen to me? I should have slapped her harder. But she was little and Yulia fucking loved that smile.

The green light flashes and I push forward, grabbing the knife from the table in front of us. I don't realize until we get out of the doors, but they've created a bubble around the platform. That's why everything was distorted, there are two panes of glass, and this one is set up a foot in front of each door with the wall of the rooms extended so I can't get to any other rooms. The second door stops us both gaining access as it remains locked. The walls fucking talk, not the announcer, but it's a lower voice, one only we can hear without any static distorting their rough voice.

"One person per bid."

I don't wait for Dima to pull me back and stand at the glass for it to be unlocked.He can't take this away from me, I've given everything for this. My body, my health, and my fucking sanity has led to this moment so I can say I helped for once. The door clicks behind me and the earpiece has Dima's voice added to the noise as I walk through.

"Remember what I said." He has an edge to his tone. "Don't you fucking dare forget."

I'm finally in the same room as Nina, after years she's right here in front of me with blood on her. It drips from that stupid fucking smile, and I want to punch her for not listening to me, but she doesn't recognize me. Her eyes are blank, waiting for the pain as she stares out and the platform turns, facing the room I was just in.

"Keep walking, lisichka, she's here."Dima's voice is softer.

"We're here, pipsqueak, she's not going anywhere."

"Tell us and we'll come in."

"Bring her home, little sister."

The chorus keeps going round and round while I feel like I've frozen in place for an eternity. There's a countdown showing it's been less than a minute, but my mind is slowing everything down and speeding the voices up.

I can do this, I'm Ana now. Not B, I know things and I can fight.

I give a silent apology for hurting her all the times in the past and promise this will be the last time as I force one foot in front of the other. A tremor takes over my hand as I take the step up to the platform and I grab Nina's hair, pulling her head back. She still smiles, fucking brat. All she had to do was listen to me.

I hide my whisper as I twist her head back and lean into her ear. "I told you not to smile."

As though a switch goes off in her head, she allows herself to come out of her mental hiding place and sobs. It fractures her smile and her entire body shakes as she stares at me. Her voice is still childlike as she says, "Ana?"

It's so quiet her lips barely move, and she falls to her knees from…relief?

Squatting down with her, I wrap my fingers around the blade and pretend to dig it into her side. The pain of it slicing through my skin is nothing compared to her begging me.

"Please kill me."

She grabs me, not to push me away but to pull me closer. Tears mark her cheeks, and she sobs harder, still begging.

"Please, I can't anymore."

They can all hear through the earpiece. But no one says anything. I don't even think they're breathing.

I can't kill her. I've hurt her too much. If I do it, I'll never be able to fix anything. But Nina doesn't care, and I push my body into hers, offering some distorted embrace as she digs her fingers into my arm and fucks with my head.

"You were always nice to me, be nice again. Stop this."

I wasn't nice to her. I hurt her.

"Let me have death."

I can't breathe.

"Please, Ana, I didn't tell anyone about your sticker."

No. It's mine. No one ever saw it.

I think.

Her nails are drawing blood, and the knife does the same, covering my hand in the sticky red as she makes another plea.

"You killed Langston for me, now do this. Help me."

She keeps saying things.

"You'd steal cookies and brush my hair when you thought I was asleep."

"Fuck," curses crackle in my ears.

Why won't she shut up?

"She can't do it," another crackle.

"You gave me drugs so I wouldn't remember, and I went to sleep," Nina urges. "Let me sleep again. Please."

The countdown sounds — five minutes. I can kill her in less, but I shut down and my hand moves as I twist the knife and grab the handle.

I cradle her head as she sobs, still fucking smiling widely up at me. A real smile that reaches her eyes with two words on her lips.

"Thank you."

Then I dig the knife into the side of her throat and slice in a line as I whisper, "I'm sorry Nina, I wish I knew your mama."

Her eyes were dead while she was alive, but she dies with the most amount of life in them since the first day I met her when she tried to hold my hand. They don't know she's dead yet and I stand, ignoring the deafening gurgling coming from the floor.

There are sounds in my head.

"Don't do it, lisichka."

"Wait for us, pipsqueak."

"Five minutes, just wait, we'll be there."

"Don't move."

People are talking but I don't know them. All I can see is the door I need to get through. My lips curve up, seeing that it doesn't reach the ceiling and I kick my shoes off. It's glass so it will shatter. Propelling myself forward, the shouts in my head get louder as my feet slip against something on the floor.

"Ana!"

"No!"

"Fuck, move."

Then glass breaks and I'm moving through things.

Nothing exists and people are blurs.

The fear on their faces isn't real like the screaming isn't.

"Get me the fuck out! Open the fucking door!"

There's something banging in my head and warm liquid covers my body as I make my way through each room. One person is on my mind and if their features don't match they die quickly. But the gurgling and shouts are still in my head as I keep moving forward and he's nowhere to be found. Gunshots add to the noise in my skull and different parts of my body move as a new scream adds to the noise, scraping my throat raw as my head falls back, screaming up at the ceiling.

"ROWAN! YULIA'S LITTLE PET HAS COME TO PLAY!"