20. Ana

TWENTY

Ana

M y eyes keep drooping as we wait for Val to turn up. His message said they would be quick, and he didn't even tell me what it was about. I hope the killing comes later in the day so I can have a nap. I've got used to sleeping a few hours every night and now my body revolts at the idea of going without.

I feel better with all the stickers in my room, like I can breathe, and I lean back against the sofa while Dima does the same next to me. I won't have to put tape on them since there are thousands of brand-new ones that have never been opened. My eyes lose their fight to stay open as my body gets rest. I'm still awake mentally, I can hear everything, but there's no energy to open my eyes.

A soft fluffy blanket is pulled over my body and Dima waves his hand in front of my face. I can feel the warmth and the light flickers through my eyelids with him testing my sleep. The cushions dip beside me as he sits back, whispering, "Vy ne znayete, naskol'ko vy dragotsenny." 1

I'm not precious. He's wrong.

Precious means you have value, you have to be treated with care.

That's not me. I'm a killer, a really fucking good killer, still a killer and I like it. Pushing all of my energy into one eye, I manage to half open it to see him facing me with his eyes closed. His arm is on the back of the sofa and his head drops as he falls asleep. My lips twitch when his mouth opens, catching flies in his sleep. I shuffle closer so I can share the blanket and he doesn't get cold, gently push his jaw closed and drape half of the material over him. My eyes close again and it's more comfortable this time as I lean my head on his chest under his chin. I hope he doesn't drool on me, but there's nothing wet against my scalp, it's just warm.

There's whispering, forcing me to become alert and my eyes snap open to see someone I really wish would crawl in a hole and never come out. Vlad's dumbass smirk is fixed on his face as he looks between me and something at my side. Following his gaze, I realize this looks bad, I'm half laid on Dima's chest, fully turned into him, and my legs are over his thigh. For fuck's sake. My stupid body was too tired, and I must have moved in my sleep.

Tali and Val don't have smirks, they're both glaring at Dima as he wakes up. His instincts sense danger and he protectively wraps his arm around me before he's even registered the three people stood opposite us.

Freaks, who watches people sleep? And how didn't I hear them?

It's strange that I slept without waking up, but they're killers too so they probably know how to be silent. We're not given any time to say anything or even wash our faces as they both move at the same time coming to my side and Tali wedges himself in the nonexistent space between Dima and me.

I always wondered what it would be like having brothers, sisters, a family. I know now it's whatever weird territorial display Val and Tali are currently doing as they fit their big asses on the sofa and force Dima to stand. They all share a look but the only person acting normal is Vlad, that alone is evidence of how fucking weird this is. Freaks.

He crosses his arms over his and gestures to Val to bring up whatever they need to discuss, I expect an order not a question.

"Do you know where Yulia is?"

I have her last location, but I can't go to her until I find Nina. They'll ruin everything if they kill her, and I've learnt from my last mistake so I keep Vlad's involvement out of my explanation.

"Someone was raiding all the houses, and they change the infrastructure if one of them dies."

There's no emotion in my voice, I could repeat everything I witnessed without it, but Dima moves, coming to stand at the back of the sofa, and I look at all the clueless angry faces circling me.

"If I kill Yulia now, they'll redistribute the clients," dumbasses "all the lists will change, and Nina could be moved if she has a return contract."

Understanding washes over Vlad and Dima with them already knowing the networks. I can't lose her when the information is already hard to find, not when I don't know the other people's client lists, only Yulia's, and the others could be anywhere. They're not connected with the Bratva or any patriotic link, they're bonded over greed and what they view as the perfect product — people, life, the thing that everyone assumes is free.

But Val stares at me and says one word in a question. "Contracts?"

He's dumb, I'm glad I didn't grow up with him.

"Yes, contracts. It means an agreement between different parties," I say slowly so he can understand.

He wraps his arm around my neck, getting me in a headlock and I punch him in the stomach with my full force before he can be a dick. He chokes instantly and his head falls back so he's spluttering up at the ceiling. Dima's voice is deadly, and I rest my head on the back of the sofa to look at him.

"Don't touch her, dickhead, she'll kick your ass."

Vlad and Tali both look at him, the latter is pissed, and he copies the threat.

" You don't touch her, or I'll kick your ass," he looks at Vlad then back to Dima "and your husband won't save you."

I didn't know they were married. I can kind of see it now though, they're close and people like Vlad don't have friends because he doesn't have a soul and he's fucking annoying. He proves it by kicking my ankle like a child and I glare at him. "What?!"

He always does it, but he's stopped punching me since he found out Marlo's dirty sperm created me.

I roll my eyes and give them more information that isn't helpful unless they're planning to be Yulia's business rival.

"The contracts are split, some of them get returned after a few years of being a live in. If they're not really broken, they can be put back out again, they go to the clients who get bored or who can't sell them on their own so they can't be stolen. There's only one person who doesn't take live ins like that, and he's called Rowan, but he wouldn't take Nina because he said she was boring." They all stare at me so I speak slower. "So… if you attack Yulia then the list changes and I won't find anything."

Drug smuggling is easy to follow, that product leaves a mark, sex trafficking doesn't, no one sees those people withering away, they aren't used as a means to secure votes on a stupid fucking graph with different colored lines. Children walking with an adult doesn't raise any red flags and the ones who haven't had the fight taken out of them yet are scolded by strangers for ‘throwing a tantrum' and not listening to their parents. I've lost count of the amount of times I saw idiots give children trying to escape their handlers dirty looks for being loud in public when they were only looking to be free.

It's stupid as fuck, people choose to do drugs, but governments focus on them because you can't tax what's illegal. They turn a blind eye to people fucking kids because it helps their tourism, their economy. Money makes the world turn around and sex sells, no one will help them when they're profiting, no matter how indirectly. Bunch of sick cunts.

Tali turns serious and goes through everything I've found. It's not to point out I'm wrong but to help and I relax when he agrees I'm doing the right thing. My good mood doesn't last when he invites himself along.

"I'll go with you, as soon as we find your sister I'm killing that cunt."

I don't have a sister and it takes a second for me to realize he's talking about Nina. If I tell them that I've only ever spoken to her once, will they still help me?

It's not a lie if I don't correct them, I'm just letting them believe whatever they want so I don't say anything.

My stomach cramps from eating so much this morning and Dani walks in with Inessa on her heels. Dima grumbles something about everyone being in his house but he doesn't tell them to leave as he goes off with Vlad to do whatever they need to or just spend time together since they're married. Val and Tali leave too, they didn't take me. I'm initiated so I should be going with them instead of sat here.

I like Dani, she's kind and sits beside me looking around the space, focusing on the piano tucked in the corner she nods in approval. "I don't know what I thought his house would look like, but this isn't it."

Inessa agrees before she turns to me. "Are you ready? I have a meeting later, but Dani can take you if you want to go then?"

I forgot I needed to get new clothes. With Dima's force feeding, mine are too tight now. I don't have a car or a license, the latter isn't really an issue, but I don't want to steal Dima's things, and I nod. Vlad gave me one of their cards so I'm going to burn a hole in his pocket just to piss him off. It can't be that hard to make him bankrupt and Inessa promised to help me do it, she even agreed to forge his signature if I wanted to buy a house.

I follow them out and it's strange leaving the house without Dima. He isn't stood behind me and his voice isn't in my ear telling me to put my seatbelt on when I get in the car. Inessa might be a shitty driver, so I buckle up since I know she's shit at shooting, and she asked me to teach her without letting Vlad know. I hope she shoots him once I've finished teaching her.

My stomach cramps again and I wait until we've pulled onto the road to ask, "How does it work if you're married to Vlad and Dima is too?"

Dani laughs from the passenger seat in front of me but it's not at me and she twists to look at me as she says, "That was from when we were kids, they're not really married."

Oh, that makes no sense. She must see that it doesn't and clears my confusion.

"You know how TV shows and movies always show two parents? Val, Tali, and Katya didn't have that so they would lie and one of the teachers assumed Vlad and Dima were married when they had to come to school because Val got into a fight, so we kept the joke running and said they were married."

"They might as well be a couple," Inessa mutters and straightens her shoulders before reading too much into my question. "Is there a specific reason you want to know if Dima is married?"

I shake my head, not understanding what reason I could have as we pull up at the lights and my stomach cramps intensify. It turns into a groan, and I press my hand to the ache as Dani's warmth comes out.

"Are you okay?"

I nod and press my hand harder to my stomach. "I ate too much."

She relaxes and gives me a smile. Everyone keeps doing it — smiling at me — since I came out of the hospital, and I don't know why. There's no pity behind the curve though, they just do it. Weirdos.

The pain intensifies and I know it's not because of eating too much at the uncomfortable feeling between my legs. Holding the headrest in front of me, I sit up so that I don't dirty Inessa's seats and whisper, "I need to go."

My driver is an idiot because she looks at me, then down to see the fact I'm squatting and her lips form a small O as she whispers back, "To the bathroom? We're not very far, can you hold it or has it already… you know?"

"I didn't shit myself!" I snap and Dani covers her face with her hand. "I didn't. I think my period is back."

Dani stops laughing and Inessa calmly says, "Okay, sit down properly. We're near Steorra so you can get cleaned up there."

If I sit down, I'll dirty her seats and I don't want to have a punishment for it. It's why I was happy about not having stupid fucking periods anymore. This is all Dima's fault for making me eat too much, fucking idiot, he's making my life more complicated.

"Ana, you can sit down," she says again, softer this time like I'm broken.

Dani does the same as she examines my face, asking, "Is this the first time you've had a period?"

"No, I'm not a child."

The glass frontage of Steorra comes into view and Inessa changes in front of my eyes. I've seen her do it every time she has to interact with people and it's fascinating how she can change her features from warm and open to cold and detached depending on who she's around. She tilts her chin higher in the air and pushes her shoulders back as she parks outside of the building.

I get out before her and make sure it's safe. As much as annoying Vlad has become my life goal, I don't want to do it by Inessa getting hurt. Not when she's nice and she's pregnant again. Last time some idiot started shouting at her and she kept pushing me away, so I make sure that no one is in sight and stay behind her and Dani as they walk into Steorra.

There are no children running around like there are usually and she doesn't speak in front of any the guards as we go to the elevator. The glass walls make her maintain the coldness, but it turns off as soon as we enter the obstructed portion of the elevator shaft, wrapping her arm around my shoulders she asks, "Is it something about Yulia?"

I nod and step away from her touch.

Sharing a look with Dani, she clenches her jaw and takes a deep breath as the elevator beeps. They don't allow me to walk ahead to check it's safe, they both stay at my side until we reach Inessa's office. I go to the bathroom, but Inessa unlocks her desk drawer and asks, "Do you have a preference?"

"For?" I ask, bewildered, she has everything I need in the bathroom, and I don't think I've ignored anything she's said.

Taking out something from her drawer with a small crease between her brows, she hesitantly says, "Pads or tampons? I've got both."

I just stare.

Yulia never allowed me to use them so I only ever had whatever tissue paper I could steal from the girls' dorm, and when I left her I couldn't waste money on them, then it stopped and I didn't need them at all so I've never used them.

Dani takes them from her as I quickly turn to lock myself away, but she's faster and pushes her foot in the doorway so I can't close the bathroom door in her face. She holds out the two plastic-wrapped items through the gap and softly offers, "They have instructions on them, but I can help you, if you want."

I snatch them out of her hand, mumbling, "I'm not an idiot."

She doesn't argue that I am or that I don't know anything. Instead, she takes a step back and softly closes the door. Once I'm as alone as I'm going to be, I stare at the items in my hand and try to work out what will be easier to use.

"Is this your first period?" Dani asks, her voice still soft and without any judgement.

"No," I snap, "I'm not a fucking child."

There's no shouting back as she gently says, "There are lots of reasons you might not have had a period, or they could have been really light that you've never needed to use anything before."

I drop the tampon in the sink and go with the pad because that seems foolproof. The plastic tab opens too fucking loudly and they can hear everything I'm doing. It's embarrassing and I hate Yulia even more because it's another thing I don't know. I thought watching the shows would teach me everything so if I ever had friends they wouldn't notice that I'm weird, but it didn't help with this.

Closing my eyes, I pull my jeans down and stick the pad between my thighs. It's uncomfortable and there are weird tape bits that I have to press to the inside of my thighs. It makes me walk funny when I pull my jeans back up and wash my hands before leaving the bathroom.

Both Dani and Inessa smile at me, a crease forms between the latter's brows as I walk forward and she asks, "Is it uncomfortable?"

I nod. "The sticky bits are pulling my skin."

The crease gets deeper but she walks to her desk, taking out another one then opens it flat against her hand — sticky side down.

"You see these bits?" She points at the sides where there are tabs, the tabs that I stuck to my thighs. "They go underneath your underwear to hold it in place while this bit sticks to the middle. Sometimes they come loose and it's annoying."

I just nod rather than admit I've stuck the entire thing upside down and it's hurting.

Dani takes out another one, handing it to me with a smile. "You can try again, this size might be a bit better."

Another nod but I don't snatch this time.

I'm stupid, an idiot, not a person because everyone knows this stuff but I don't. I knew every different lube, how to put a condom on, and how to control the pain before I was six but this I can't do.

Their whispered conversation doesn't help as I lock myself back in the bathroom.

"Where has she been that no one taught her about periods?" Dani asks. "Don't you get taught that stuff in school?"

"It's better not to ask questions," Inessa whispers before making it obvious that I'm wrong. "Some of the teenagers who come here have never been taught before either, they always assume that the pad sticks to their skin instead of their underwear."

There's no one to kill with Stasi doing the checks on the new nonces, so I go to find something else I can do since Inessa told Vlad that I deserve time to myself. I'm halfway down the stairs when the sound of grunting reaches my ears. Pausing my book, I keep my steps silent and poke my head over the railing. There's no sounds of bodies slapping together, just one deep grunt in a repetition coming from the back of the house.

I follow the sound and my feet come to a stop at the edge of the gym I've never used, it's huge and Dima's back ripples as he lifts the bar over his head on the squat rack. He doesn't notice me as he finishes his set and squirts water on his face. Or when he drops down into a close grip push-up and holds it, tensing all of his muscles.

I like being around Dima and don't think twice about invading his space as I push forward. He looks up at the sound of my steps, and I sit myself on his back. "Let's see how strong you are."

His scoff works though his body. "You barely weigh anything. I could do this all day, hellion."

Cocky shit. He proves he has a reason for his attitude as I push all of my weight down and he lowers to the floor before pushing back up.His arrogance gets louder as he increases his pace and stares at me through the mirror. Repositioning myself so he doesn't get a bad back from all my weight in one spot, I lay with my legs crossed against his shoulders, his ass is right under my head and I can't stop myself from threatening him. "If you fart, I'll kill you."

It loses some of its heat with my laugh and his head snaps up, looking at me through the mirror again. There's no strain in his voice as he extends his arms and holds himself up so his back's straight.

"Turn around so your head is under my neck, I don't want you to slip and hit your head when I move."

I turn so our bodies are lined up and he waits until I'm in position to start moving again. He's comfortable to lay on, and I don't care about his sweat touching me, which is weird, it must be because I'm on top of him. Passing him the spare earbud, I play my book while Dima works out and I zoom in and out of the ceiling with each set he does.

It's getting to the good part when he pauses as though his full attention is required. Once the scene has been introduced and he works it out, he slowly asks, "Are you listening to aliens fuck?"

It's not fucking, it's docking. If he shut up and didn't interrupt he'd know that. I turn into a librarian and reprimand him while going back to the line he opened his mouth during.

"Shh, this is the good part."

Vibrations move under me as he restarts his push-ups and stops interrupting.It's always funny, it doesn't matter if they're docking or invading a planet, but there will always be something to laugh at. I've listened to this one hundreds of times and anticipation has my lips twitching, knowing they're going to ruin the ship when trying to work out how to dock with different anatomy. When it happens and they argue, Dima laughs with me, he's not copying mine, he does it at the exact same time.

Turning so my stomach is against his back, I fold my arms under my chin so it's not digging into him. His eyes are on mine straight away, they don't leave as he goes through his workout and listens to the book with me. There's only one chapter left after the funny part has ended and he taps my calf with his instruction. "Hold on to me."

Doing as he said, I wrap my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. He doesn't drop me as he rises to his full height and stretches before going to the pull-up bar. This is fun and my smile is wide, crazed, as he jumps up with me on his back like a koala. Repositioning my arms so they're not blocking his air, I wrap them under his arms like a backpack.

I know it's not the time for conversations, he's working out and focused, but I can't help myself.

"Dima?"

He doesn't say anything and hums in response as he slows, waiting for what I'm about to say. My voice comes out small, wanting him to know but unsure of the words.

"I think I trust you now."

He drops to his feet and unfolds my limbs before he squats down so I can get off.There's awe on every inch of his features as he turns around and holds my face.

"Thank you, lisichka."

He presses his lips to my forehead and doesn't say anything else. His hands are still on my face, and I move one arm to pat his back. It feels nice when he cups the back of my head and copies me, but it stops when I do, and he stares into my eyes. There's still some discomfort from him seeing them but I don't punch him in the throat like I want to, not when I want him to pat my back again. Instead, I stay still as he traces my jaw line and I like being under the moons in his head. He softly presses his lips to my forehead again before he turns, squatting for me to get on his back, and he shuts up so we can listen to my book.

1 ? You don't know how precious you are.