39. Vitali

THIRTY-NINE

Vitali

F or once, Val doesn’t act like a dick as he hands me a first aid kit and asks, “How long have the guards been giving Stasi shit?”

“Which fucking guards?”

He looks down at my T-shirt, a crease forming between his brows and his voice slowing. “She didn’t tell you?” He gestures to the blood on me. “I figured that’s why you’re like that.”

I have to put things in order of most harm so I’ll kill whoever the fuck said shit to my woman once I’ve made sure my little sister is safe. That little shit doesn’t get to leave or take her anger out on herself when she’s family. We all have our shit and Kristi was incorrectly taught to absorb her hurt rather than stick it to everyone else like the rest of us do.

Viktor walks into the kitchen with Verena on his back and he abruptly pushes his hand up, covering her eyes, as he distracts her from the state I’m in.

“Can you guess where we are?” He spins around, attempting to disorient her and I leave them to play before the trio of terror come in.

Stasi is laid beside Kristi when I go back into the pool house and they’re both haunted as Kristi whispers, “I won’t be able to stop again.”

There’s blood seeping through the thin sheet she’s using to hide behind and I clear my throat before I walk closer to the side of the bed. We have a system and I’ve cleaned her up too many times already in our short, unconventional friendship. It’s why she flops on to her back and blindly holds her arm out for me as I lay out the dressings and antiseptic wipes. Stasi copies her and holds her hand like she knows that Kristi is embarrassed about being seen at her weakest.

She’s a dumb kid, bitchy as fuck, and a mouth that’s quicker than her mind. One thing she doesn’t understand is that there’s nothing weak in admitting she needs my help. Both of them don’t get it. They go through life alone when all I’ve ever promised is to give them everything they need to be happier, healthier.

Fucking stubborn women.

I’ve never winced when I’ve hurt someone, but I do it now as I wipe around the cuts littering Kristi’s arm while she remains still. Tears slowly slip from the corners of her eyes, racing down her temples and soaking into the pillowcase. But once her arms are covered and I have a pile of red wipes beside me, she closes her eyes, shutting everything out.

She won’t be safe on her own and this is worse than the other time, so I quietly move around the room to get rid of the bloody wipes and search for anything sharp that she could use. Then I go into the bathroom and take the blade from the sink and wrap it in tissue paper before shoving it in my pocket so she can’t do something stupid.

The sheets rustle and I stand at the threshold of the bathroom, watching how the bitchy kid thaws and curls up in Stasi’s side like a child. My woman is amazing, I’ve always known it, but now she proves it as she allows who she truly is out. Stasi doesn’t push her away or act cold like she does with the rest of the world, she hugs her and kisses the top of her head, whispering, “It’s going to be okay, Tali won’t let anyone hurt you. Especially when it’s yourself, it’s his superpower.”

Taking the bag that Stasi dropped, I grab my hoodie that the little shit stole from me and refused to give back because in Kristi’s own words she deserved something expensive for putting up with me annoying her.

I lay beside them and stare up at the ceiling as the room remains still. All of us have our grief and there’s some twisted comfort in knowing that we don’t have to speak, we don’t have to put a name on this thing that’s outside of our control. We just get to experience it and we know that someone else knows what it’s like, even if the circumstances aren’t the same, the emotion is.

Stasi’s phone beeps and she discreetly takes it from her pocket to check the screen. I don’t need to see her face to know that she’s torn about leaving, so I softly say, “Can you go and steal whatever food Viktor’s made?”

She shakes her head in my periphery but she gets up and Kristi waits until she’s left to give me shit through her sniffles. “Your family are weird as fuck.”

“They’re yours now too, welcome to the circus, Crusty.”

There’s barely any force behind her fist as she punches me. “Don’t call me that.”

I punch her back and she digs her elbow into my ribs, sniping, “Don’t punch me. You’re not supposed to hit girls.”

“You’re not a girl,” I laugh weakly. “You’re Crusty.”

As soon as she has more force behind her swing I know that she’s fine to talk and turn my head to look at her. And for once she doesn’t try to hide behind her tough, sarcastic bullshit personality.

“I’m scared, Tali,” she whispers as she stares at the ceiling, “I don’t think I’ll be able to stop this time. I don’t want to stop.”

“That’s okay, I’m here. I’ll stop you.”

Her smile is weak, yet filled with gratitude and she nods once.

“Who’s Viktor?” she asks, searching for a distraction. “Your chef?”

“My nephew, he’s a little shit and snitches on me all the time.”

“Oh, that’s good, I think we’ll be friends.”

Fuck that. If she befriends that little snitch I’ll be fucked since everyone in our family thinks the sun shines out of his ass.

Vlad’s words spring up in my memory about the horses, how they’re good therapy animals, and I know that the only thing that will help Kristi is a distraction, so I sit up and clap my hands together like she’s a toddler. “Let’s go.”

She glares at me, her eyes and cheeks red, but I hold my middle finger up as I say, “I can drag you out by your hair or you can move yourself.”

With a huff, she stands and her eyes narrow as I push my hands through the pocket in my hoodie. “Did you steal my clothes?”

“I guess you’ll have to stay alive to get it back. Put some shoes on.”

I throw one of her shitty hoodies at her and she just stink eyes me as she does as she’s told instead of arguing with me. When she’s ready, I hook my arm around her neck and drag her out of the pool house to the stables. She looks around at it all like she’s on another planet then scoffs, “You’re so fucking weird.”

“Just for that comment I’m not getting you a horse.”

She looks up, still glaring at me, so I lower my voice and add, “You can have a donkey so you have something in common.”

Viktor is in Thunder’s stable, making patterns in the horse’s fur as he turns to look at us and asks, “Who are you?”

“Tali’s only friend,” Kristi points at me. “I’m guessing you’re Viktor?”

My nephew is an asshole, it’s a family trait, and he smiles. “Tali doesn’t have friends. Does he have to pay you?”

It makes Kristi laugh though and she isn’t looking for anything sharp.

“No, I like to think of it as good karma.”

“Does he talk about me?” Viktor asks as I pull the brush out of his hand then throw it over the stable wall.

“Vik, meet Crusty,” I say, taking an elbow in the ribs.

They both stand there, taking turns in giving me their insults until they run out and Viktor gives his rules about his horse.

“This is Thunder, you can’t touch him unless he walks to you first. But you can have any of the other ones, my brother’s is in the stall at the end and it’s calmer.”

The click of heels gives away who’s entering the stables and I step out of the stall as my sister-in-law walks towards me. Inessa can hold a grudge like no other and she doesn’t smile at me like she used to. But I need her help so I step into her path and lower my voice so the other two don’t hear.

“You can be pissed at me, but I need one of your doctors from Steorra to do something for me.”

She thaws slightly and asks, “Stasi?”

If I thought there was even the slimmest chance that my girl would willingly speak to a therapist I’d take her myself without needing Inessa’s help. Stasi’s demons are different than Kristi’s and they’re not as destructive because she’s made her own version of therapy that kills everyone around her.

“Someone else. She’s a kid and aren’t you trying to be the patron saint of all the young souls?”

Her lips twitch and I’m so close to breaking through to the ice queen but she quickly erects thicker walls and takes a step back, dismissing me. “I’m not helping you , but I’ll arrange for one of the doctors to be at Steorra to meet her tomorrow.”

Viktor and Kristi walk Thunder out to the paddock, and I panic in my attempt to sort shit out with my family.

“Inessa, are you going to hate me forever?”

She doesn’t leave. That’s got to be a win.

Until she looks me up and down like I’m a piece of a shit and coolly says, “I don’t hate you, I’m disgusted by you.” She steps closer to me, shorter than me yet somehow managing to look down at me as she seethes, “Vlad has given you everything you ever wanted. He sacrificed himself, his happiness, for this family and you crossed the fucking line.”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t. Everyone thinks he’s some emotionless dickhead, and to a certain extent they’re right, but you used two things against him that you never should have. He would never do that to you.”

“I know,” I repeat more forcefully. “I didn’t think an?—”

“Exactly,” she spits. “You didn’t think about what would have happened to you if he wasn’t there. Do you think that your parents just suddenly changed their sick ways? No, you had someone to protect you when he had no one to do it for him. So, I will never be anything other than disgusted by what you said. Vlad can choose to forgive you, but I don’t have to do shit.”

I stare at a point on the wall to prevent my chin dropping to my chest like it wants to as she keeps going.

“My kids love you, I loved you, and I won’t stop them speaking to you but there will always be a thought in the back of my head about whether they’ll be safe from your outbursts.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Stasi snaps as she storms into the stables. “You’re speaking to him like he’s a child and like you’ve never made a mistake in your life.”

“It’s fine,” I ease her but she stands toe to toe with Inessa and ignores me in favor of defending me.

“No, it’s not. She’s talking shit when she once kicked Dariya in the face because she was trying to do a cartwheel and fucked up.”

“That’s not the same,” Inessa rears back. “I was a kid and I didn’t think she would try to catch me.”

“Okay, what about when you stole your grandfather’s gun so that we’d have a starting pistol for our race and you ended up shooting one of the guards?”

“I was a kid.”

“Yeah, and you killed someone who was doing their job because of a foot race and you can’t aim for shit. Did anyone hold it against you? Did Mischa or I stop playing with you because it was a fucking psychotic thing to do? No, we didn’t.”

“It’s very different, Stasya,” Inessa grits then turns, walking out of the stable.

I pull my girl into my chest with one arm around her lower back and tip her chin up. “You argued with someone because of me?”

My voice is low, filled with awe because I knew she loved me. She has to otherwise she wouldn’t have given a shit and she would do what she always does, ignore everything around her. Be passive and allow everyone to get on with their lives. But Stasi argued for me .

She doesn’t answer me though and I ask, “Are you going to hide in your cave now?”

“Until I find them,” she promises. “I just wanted to check on Kristi and Val got you donuts.”

“Okay, we’ll all be waiting for you when you’re ready.”