Chapter 20 - Raisa

I don’t know how I am supposed to feel after Oleg told me that he didn’t mean what he said.

I so desperately want to believe him—but I am too scared. I am scared of how much it hurt before—and what if he’s just manipulating me? Then I let my guard down and when I find out again that it’s not real, I will be even more hurt.

Sighing, I stare down at my study notes. I have been sitting at the desk for an hour and I haven’t even managed to start today’s sessions.

I wish I had my study friends. People like Jenna, Matthew and Blake. It’s so hard doing this alone. I never planned to do it this way.

And now it’s not only the stress of studying—it’s Oleg, too.

My mind is a frayed mess. My heart is all knotted and twisted and fearful.

Maybe I need to take a break today and just spend some time outside in the garden. Get some fresh air—clear my head and hopefully figure out what to do about all of this.

I push my notebook away, along with my textbook and my pen.

Heading downstairs, I go to sit in the garden for a little when I walk straight into Oleg as he comes out of his bedroom.

“Oh,” I say, embarrassed. I wasn’t ready to see him yet. I still have so much I need to think about.

“Raisa,” he says, reaching out and grabbing my shoulders as we collide.

“Sorry,” I mutter, stepping away.

He sighs softly. I steal a glance at his face and notice how tired he looks. My heart aches to see him like this. But—it shouldn’t—he is the one who hurt me.

He shifts his weight and runs his hand through his hair. “Listen, I was headed out to the warehouses this morning. Do you want to join me?”

My first instinct is to decline the invite—but then I pause and realize that apart from the fact that I wanted to get out of the house for a bit and clear my mind—the idea of him inviting me to see his warehouse is pretty big. It shows trust. I will be able to see a lot of what he does and how he operates.

Things he probably wouldn’t really want my brothers knowing—but he is willing to risk showing me.

“Sure. I’ll come along for the ride,” I say.

“Super. We can leave now if you are ready?”

I nod.

The drive to the warehouse is tense. Being this close in an enclosed space with Oleg is difficult. I don’t know what to say. I am not the type of person who can have a fake conversation when there is something massive going on between us.

So, I stare out of the window and watch the world go by. It’s a lot better than sitting at my desk staring blankly at the small textbook font, anyway.

Oleg must sense my tension because he doesn’t try to speak to me either.

We just drive in silence while I sit her,e wishing that we had never drifted apart in the first place.

Outside the warehouse, Oleg opens my door for me. I climb out and admire the size of the building. It’s double the standard size, taking up a massive stretch of land.

“This is one of several that I manage,” he says, placing his hand on my lower back and leading me towards the entrance.

His touch sends shivers down my spine, but I do my best to ignore it.

“This place is massive,” I say, more to myself than Oleg.

“It is a really impressive space. Over here is where we have the products arriving, and on the far side there is where they get packaged for distribution. We specialize in this specific product. We are the only people on this continent who sell this product at this quality. So, when people come in and start offering the same product at a lower price but also a lower quality—the buyers assume it is our product and that effects our relationships with customers.”

“But can’t people just sell the same product at the same quality?”

“No. We have the best chemist on the planet. No one can match our formula. Your brothers tried and they tried to sell it to our clients, too. We had a number of very pissed-off people blaming us—“ he sighs.

“My brothers did that?” I ask, feeling guilty for what they tried and how they messed with clients that didn’t belong to them.

“Your brothers did that and more. The problem is that if our clients come after us for something we didn’t do—it gets ugly really quickly. It’s one of the reasons I hate this mafia bullshit. People shoot first and ask questions later.”

I bite at my lower lip, frowning as I follow him through the warehouse.

“So, are my brothers still messing with your clients?”

“No. Thankfully, because of our marriage, your brother was forced to come to an agreement with me. He will not sell our primary product, and I have promised not to sell his primary product. It was a small distribution product that we were testing out, but if handing it over to your brothers means we can avoid a shoot-out, I am more than happy to do that.”

“So, you gave up a portion of your business to my brothers even though they are new in this city?”

“It’s better than war, Raisa,” he says as he picks up a clipboard, checking some information on it and setting it down again.

“Before you kidnapped me, did you try to speak to my brothers?”

“Numerous times. It was at the point where I had to make a choice before my brothers took control of the situation. People would have lost their lives if we had gone ahead with their solution.”

I can’t believe I am only now coming to understand exactly why Oleg kidnapped me and forced me to marry him.

The other option was his brothers storming my family home and killing my brothers—which would have been an easy fix for them. I would have lost my family.

And even if Oleg’s brothers didn’t want to go that route, one of the angry clients would have. In this world it seems everyone really is ready to shoot first and ask questions after. Oleg went against the knee-jerk reaction by trying to force their hand into an alliance.

“Has it worked?” I ask, wondering if his plan was successful or if my brothers are still causing shit.

“It did as far as I can tell. Rodion has stuck to his agreement and has not been selling or speaking to our clients.”

Oleg is still talking as he shows me around the rest of the warehouse. He tells me all about how things work and how he likes things organized. All of his staff are happy to see him and I can tell that even here in the bigger business sections—Oleg is still a very gentle soul beneath all of the dark and mysterious exterior he has to present to the world because of what he does.

I walk around, following Oleg, thinking about his reasoning for marrying me. He did make the right choice. My brothers would never have worked with him without being forced to do so. They would never have allowed someone to dictate their actions—even if it was for the better—Rodion might not have known that.

By marrying me, he saved their lives and he saved his brother’s lives too. It could have become a bloody mess.

Oleg comes to a stop outside an office door on the upstairs platform of the warehouse. “This is where I work when I’m not at home.”

He pushes the door open and ushers me inside.

It is a modern, simple and clean office. Minimalistic in black, grey and white.

He closes the door behind us.

“Can I make you a coffee? I had them put the machine in here because while I’m working, I drink quite a bit of it.”

“Sure. Um, Oleg, I understand a lot more now, why you did what you did.”

I lean against his desk, facing him while I talk.

“Can you see why I didn’t have any other choice? I am sorry, Raisa. I am sorry you got dragged into it—but it seemed so much kinder than—“

“—death.”

“Yes.”

“You used me as a tool,” I sigh.

“I did, but I never saw you as that. Right from the beginning you captivated me. You are such an incredible person, Raisa. You deserve so much more than what happened to you. I mean the marriage—“ he looks down at the coffee mug in his hands, his voice is tight.

“The marriage isn’t that bad,” I giggle, starting to relax around him again after he opened up to me like this.

I guess I just needed to understand it all. I needed to see where he was coming from and why he did what he did. I had a small idea—but having him explain it to me and show me all of this—it means a lot to me.

At the sound of my laugh, Oleg turns quickly to look at me.

He has a small smile on his face, not wide enough to dimple his cheeks, but still gorgeous.

“I haven’t heard you laugh in days,” he says, forgetting about the coffee and walking over to me.

“I haven’t felt like laughing for days.” I shrug.

“I know. I really am sorry, Raisa.” He steps between my legs, wrapping his arms around my shoulders as I wrap mine around his waist.

He pulls me close to his body and holds me for a long time.

I press my head against his chest and listen to his heart beating—the rhythmic sound syncs with my own heart beat and I feel like I am safe, at home in his embrace.

After a while, he leans back and with his finger beneath my chin, he lifts my face towards his.

Leaning down, he presses his lips against mine and kisses me.

My heart begins to beat faster, my blood rushing and my skin tingling.

I hear his breathing become more intense as our kiss deepens.

He pushes my legs wider apart, holding me closer to him.

I moan softly against his lips.

Oleg lifts me off the desk so that I am standing against him. His cock is bulging against his pants, threatening to tear the seams open.

I tug at his belt, not caring that we are in his warehouse. The office seems private enough and I want him right now.

A low growl rumbles through him as I free his cock and wrap my hands around it.

Suddenly, he spins me around and from behind, he pulls my jeans open, yanking them down over my ass. He pushes me forward, bending me over the desk. I moan loudly when he strokes his cock over my pussy from behind me.

“You’re going to have to be a good girl for me, little flower. You have to stay quiet,” his deep voice warns me and sends a shiver down my spine.

I arch my back and thrust my ass towards him.

“I’ll be quiet,” I whisper.

He grabs my hips and slowly pushes his cock into my pussy.

My mouth opens and I have to hold back the cry of pleasure. Instead, I take in a sharp breath as he buries himself inside me.

Holding onto my hips, he begins to thrust, moving slowly at first, then building up speed and pushing in harder and harder.

My legs start to shake and I have to hold onto the desk to steady myself.

Oleg is moaning quietly behind me and the sounds are sending me over the edge.

I cry out, too loud, not able to stop myself. His hand clamps around my mouth as he pulls my back against him, pushing up into me with a hard thrust. I moan again—against his hand the sound is muffled.

I can feel him growing harder and my pussy is clamping down over his cock as I get closer and closer to orgasm.

“Are you going to come on my cock, little flower?” He whispers in my ear, his cock spreading me open every time he thrusts into me.

I moan a muffled response, but his hand is over my mouth still. It’s better this way because I know I can’t stay quiet.

I am digging my fingers into his arm, holding onto him as my legs weaken even more and my entire body begins to shudder.

The orgasm slams into me and rolls through me—over and over again—until I can barely breathe.

He goes rigid inside me and thrusts into me one last time before I feel him relax against me.

He drops his hand from my mouth and I am already grinning.

I will never get over how incredible he feels inside me.

It’s as though he was made perfectly for me.