58. Deacon

Leaving the conference room, I head for my old bedroom on the single's side of the pack house. Before I make it down the hall, I hear footsteps behind me, and I know instinctively who is following me.

"I can't do this right now, brother," I say, my voice showing exhaustion. "I need to sleep. Apparently, I'm fighting for control of the pack tonight."

"Why? Just answer me that. Why are you doing this? You've never wanted the pack." A break in his voice has me turning around to look at him. His face shows the war of emotions he is experiencing, and I consciously avoid reading into them.

The weight of my emotions is already too much to carry.

"I still don't. I will kill him and hand it over to you. I can't be here anymore. Everywhere I look reminds me of her," I say, not needing to explain who I mean. "But he will no longer control me. My wolf won't allow it. So if he won't let me go, I will take back my freedom with his death. I'm no threat to you, brother. The pack will still be yours to rule." I explain.

"He's our father," Luca says, his voice careful. "You'll really kill him?"

"He's your father. He's just the man who gave me some DNA. He didn't raise me. He's never wanted me around. I don't owe him anything," I say, getting angrier with each statement.

He's not my dad.

He's not my Alpha

He is nothing to me.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you," he says, his voice still gentle. "It didn't feel like my place to get involved, but I can talk to Father. I can get him to let you go. I just need some time. Don't do this, Deacon. You won't come back from murdering him. It won't fix the hole in your heart," he finishes, melancholy in his tone.

"It might not fix it, but it will feel really fucking good in the moment, and then I will leave. I can't stay here anymore. It's not home without her," I say, leveling my eyes on his, hoping he will understand. "I promise, someday I'll come back. When you've got everything under your control, but for now, I need distance," I finish, turning back down the hall to find a bed to sleep in for the night.

"She's leaving tomorrow," he says, stopping me in my tracks. "They both are."

Bracing myself against the wall, I allow the last of the pain to sear through me.

"That's none of my business anymore," I say, feeling the emptiness of it all as I place one foot in front of the other.

"If you say so, fratellino, I'm going to hold you to that promise—that you'll come back, I mean, not just for me but for Momma, Ashley, and the pack. We need you," he says to my slowly retreating back.

"You have my word, mio fratello. I can't wait to see you lead, Luca. You're going to make an amazing Alpha," I say, knowing it's true. He has both the head and the heart for it. He will be the leader this pack needs. He will get them through this transition. He may have wanted more time, but Giovanni's rule ends tonight.

That's also a promise.

By eleven thirty, everyone in the pack knows about the challenge and has shown up to watch me battle it out for control. The council has taken their place as overseers of the challenge and two LLC representatives are in attendance to verify the results. One is an Alpha from the oversight committee for regional affairs. The other is a vampire adjudicator… one I recognize immediately. I catch his lavender eyes, raising my eyebrow at the coincidence as I feel his telltale wisp caress against my mind.

Alexander.

Getting into trouble so soon, little Alpha. What has it been? Six months since I had to get you out of your last indiscretion? Should I invest in frequent flyer miles if you win?

He sends through his mind communication. One I still don't understand, seeing as most vampires have to use touch to get into our minds to communicate, and he is currently on the other side of the makeshift fighting arena.

I'm flattered you'd want to visit, but this is merely a formality.

I send back, thinking about where I will be flying to get away from here after this fight.

Not sticking around? Not the typical first steps when assuming control of a pack…

He says, reminding me he still has access to my mind, and I close off the connection, mentally pushing him from my thoughts until I no longer feel him there. He smiles at me, his eyes dancing as he rolls that information around, and he lifts his glass before returning to the conversation in front of him.

I need to focus.

Giovanni hadn't shown up yet; a power play that was working. I'd stretched and warmed up and was waiting on my side of the fighting area. My nerves are anxious, my wolf ready for blood.

I'd slept a full eight hours and grabbed a grilled cheese from Bernadette. At least if he did find a way to kill me, I'd had a decent last meal.

Not the best way to go into a fight.

No part of me believed Giovanni could best me, but if I knew anything about him, he would find a way to cheat—find a way to gain the upper hand. I'd already seen my mother and sister sitting with the council, so I knew they hadn't been harmed, but I'd searched the crowd for Grace and came up empty.

Why would she be here? She has a new life now—a new future.

I used that pain to fuel my anger, centering myself.

At four minutes to midnight, a commotion on my right let me know that he has finally arrived. The crowd of pack members parts, allowing Giovanni, Luca, and Lorenzo through. His walk to the center was slow, intentionally as to drag the moment out. His eyes lock on mine, and the pure hatred seated there makes my wolf pull to the surface.

Not yet.

I want to punch him square in the jaw before I will allow my wolf the pleasure of finishing him for me.

My gaze shifts to Luca, who wears his concern all over his face. When he meets my eyes, his silent question has me nodding.

I'm ready.

Lorenzo, on the other hand, is holding his cards close to the vest. I can't tell if he is happy to see me die or happy to have Giovanni out of the picture. The two were always an odd pairing, and I've always believed that he was chosen because my father knew he could be controlled, despite them not seeing eye to eye on much within the pack.

Giovanni pulls off his shirt, revealing his muscled chest and abs. A perk of being a shifter with metabolisms as fast as ours is that we can easily maintain our physique. He looks nothing like the men his age. Once he has removed his shoes, he steps onto the raised platform, Belsom by his side.

I'd kept my shirt on, knowing it would be destroyed in the fight, but I was not willing to give him any ammunition to use against me. The tattoo I'd had inked into my chest before I left Miami still burned and itched, a side effect of the silver laced into the design to ensure it wouldn't heal when I shifted.

If only I could carve the flesh from my body so I wouldn't have the reminder.

A microphone is passed to Lorenzo, who begins the festivities.

"Good evening, Council members, LLC advisors, and fellow pack. Tonight's fight comes at the request of pack member Deacon Marlo. It is an official Alpha challenge, the first given to Giovanni Marlo in twenty years. Alpha Marlo defeated two opponents to claim the title of Alpha for the Northern Nevada Pack in 1962."

Whispers break out in the crowd, and he silences them with a lift of his hand.

"Official rules state the Alpha must defend his placement if a challenge is presented. Tonight's fight will end upon submission or death. If either party submits, they cannot challenge the new Alpha or any subsequent Alpha and cannot gain or regain control of the pack. If either party submits, they are thereby removed from the pack and cannot rejoin. No weapons may be used in the fight, but it can be handled in human or wolf form. If either party leaves the arena during the fight, it is the equivalent of submission. Do both parties understand the rules as they have been set out for you?"

We lock eyes, staring each other down as we answer.

"I understand," Giovanni snarls the words.

"I understand," I repeat, not allowing any emotion in my voice. Going for nonchalance because I know how much it will bother him.

"You have two minutes," Belsom finishes, dropping the microphone into the hand of another wolf before stepping off the platform.

Luca takes a step toward me, his face softening as he winces, and I see the signs of the mind-link order he just received.

"Go on, brother. He will need you more than I will," I say, confidence oozing as I turn back to my corner. The flash of red catches my eye, and before I can stop myself, I see her.

Eyes rimmed red, cheeks wet from crying, fear pouring out of her, Grace stands at the back of the crowd, her eyes begging me not to do this. My heart throbs, pain from the shredded pieces barely holding together, slowly tearing apart. Everything in me wants to go to her and tell her it will be okay, but that's not my job anymore. Even as I think it, I see him approach behind her. He's careful to keep his distance, but I see the strain it"s putting on him.

My jaw clenches, and using every bit of strength I have, I raise my shields into place. A sick smile slides onto my face, and I close my eyes before I pull the back of my shirt over my head. I keep my eyes closed. My face pointed to the ground as I hear her gasp mixed with his, feeding my darkness with their guilt.

Stained on my chest, right above my heart, sits a single word written in red-braided lettering. Grace.

When I open my eyes, I level them on her, not allowing her to see any of the pain I carry. Instead, I take two fingers to my lips, kissing them before placing them on the fresh tattoo—a final kiss goodbye.

I wink as the sound of the bell at my back causes me to turn, leaving those memories in the past. Grace got a part of me that no one else ever would. She took my heart; now I will live without one.

Deacon: Game time, Daddy-o.

I send through the mind-link right before I charge at him.