Chapter Five

~ Victor ~

T here was definitely a rule against kissing the new professor.

There was. But fuck, if Victor didn't care. Tawson was right when he said that most people assumed he was reserved and quiet. He didn't share a lot about himself, mostly because he was scared that someone would find out his secret and then give him that judging look. His family was accepting of different relationships, but he couldn't bring himself to see how far that acceptance went. He was the son of a rancher, five-foot-ten, and liked to wear skirts and pictured himself in more traditionally feminine things. The contradiction was too much for him to feel comfortable.

Something about Tawson, though. The way they talked, joked. His smile. His whole persona just gave off calm and welcoming. Non-judgmental. When he opened the door yesterday, Tawson looked like he'd been crying. Victor could see the signs. He'd had a couple of panic attacks before. The first time was when he tried on the skirt for the first time. He'd cried himself to sleep that night. Then, again, when he came out to his best friend. Joe knew more than anyone else and while Joe was decidedly straight- after their brief experimenting- he was never judgmental. But that didn't stop Victor from choking on air and Joe rubbing soothing circles along his back for hours after they'd slept together.

Victor and Tawson didn't talk about it. Not on Sunday. Victor had to get to the main house and help his mom prep the food. He had the buns for the hamburgers and hot dogs in his car. Victor tried not to watch Tawson throughout the cookout, but he'd caught himself slipping a few times. Only once was Tawson looking back at him. He kept to himself, only talking when someone asked him a question. He kept replaying the kiss again and again in his head.

By the time he got back to campus and into the apartment, those moments were all that was on his mind. He stripped down and got in the shower, letting the memory wash over him like the water. He was hard in no time and whispered Tawson's name as he came, splashing against the tiles of the floor. He didn't know what he was doing. He did, but he didn't understand why. Why was he attracted to the older guy? He was almost thirty and a teacher at his school. That alone should have been enough to not cross the line. But they clicked. Even in two short conversations. Maybe it was the vulnerability in his eyes when he'd opened the door. Victor could see himself in them. He wasn't sure.

And he drove himself crazy the whole week thinking about it. Bouncing from regret to reminiscing. He went to his classes, made sure he had the books and items he needed. He was taking some intro classes mixed with a few more advanced that he'd tested into during the SATs. He didn't have an English class this semester but he was still walking all around campus from one class to the next. Him and Joe hung out when they could. Their classes clashed a bit, but they had Tuesday evenings and Thursday mornings free.

He invited Joe over on Tuesday to see the place. They ended up hanging out and Joe stayed over, sharing the bed with Victor. He'd woken up snuggled against Joe's chest, content to stay there as long as he could. It wasn't even about Joe, because he knew there was no attraction between them. Victor loved physical touch.

By the time Friday evening came around, he was gearing up to go home for the weekend. He'd told his roommate about his own schedule and said that the apartment would be empty most weekends if he did want to use it. He'd finally met the guy on Thursday. Clayton was attending classes, but he had a girlfriend that lived off campus and they were living together. His parents didn't approve of her because she didn't come from money, but they had plans to get married in another year when he graduated. He explained that he usually tried to pair with Freshman because they were cooler about the whole ‘having a place to myself' thing. Victor was relieved that it wasn't something illegal going on. Victor promised to keep up the charade.

"I'll see you on Monday," Joe said as they parted way. They were walking from the science building. They both had a class there, but different levels. Joe was working toward a computer science degree. He was great with math and technology. He wanted to land a job with software technology. "Don't have too much fun without me."

"I'm going to be scooping horse shit for forty-eight hours," Victor said. "Have fun doing literally anything else."

Joe laughed and clapped his hand against Victor's shoulder a couple times. "You make a great point. Call, text, whatever. I'll miss you."

"For a straight guy, sometimes I'm concerned."

"You love me. That's all that matters." Joe waved to him and they split on the path. Victor had to grab his clothes and a few things before heading home. He'd miss supper, but knew his mom would save him a plate.

There was a guy sitting on the steps to the apartment building when he walked up. At first Victor didn't pay him any mind, the hat, sunglasses, and ‘normal' clothes hiding who it was until they stood up. Tawson. He was wearing a hat and normal clothes. He definitely didn't look recognizable.

"How long have you been waiting here?" Victor asked. He wanted to ask why, but he was sure they were about to have that talk Tawson mentioned nearly a week ago.

"Just a few minutes," Tawson said. They took the stairs to his apartment and Victor stepped inside to let him through the door. He made sure to lock it behind them. "Listen, Victor."

"If you're going to tell me it was a mistake and we shouldn't do it again, I'm aware." Victor hated it, but in the days since, he came to the realization himself. It couldn't work out between them.

"Good," Tawson said. Victor continued through the apartment, assuming that Tawson would follow. He dropped his bag to the floor and started looking around his room. It was already a bit of a mess. The bed was rumpled. The extra pillow Joe had used was still next to his. Papers and notebooks littered his desk. "I'm glad we agree then."

"I didn't say I agreed," Victor said. He glanced over his shoulder at Tawson. He was just inside his bedroom, leaning against the doorframe with his arms cross and his head tilted back. He'd taken his hat and jacket off. "I just said I was aware."

"Victor, come on. Please."

He turned around and faced Tawson. Victor kept his voice calm. The last thing he wanted was Tawson thinking he was too emotional after one kiss. One amazing kiss, but still. "Have you thought about me this week? Because I've sure as hell thought about you."

"That's beside the point," Tawson said shortly. "Not only am I older, a teacher, but I'm living on your ranch. We're going to be seeing each other every weekend. This- It can't happen. It's not a good idea."

"I get it," Victor said. "It sucks, though."

"I'm sorry."

They stood like that, just looking at each other. Victor wanted nothing more than to cross the room and kiss him again. It'd been incredible. Every moment of it was ingrained in his mind. He wanted more, but Tawson was laying clear boundaries. As he said, it sucked, but he'd respect it. He got the feeling like there was something more to Tawson, but he wouldn't push. Victor had his own secrets.

"Are you heading to the ranch?" Victor asked after a long minute.

"I was," he said. "But I felt like we needed to clear the air first. I wasn't sure how much we would actually see each other but your mom seems to think I can't feed myself so she's invited me to come to dinner both nights."

"That's just who she is." Victor went back to his desk and started making sure he had everything for the weekend. He already had some assignments to start on. "I know my sister is still staying there right now, but I'm sure she's out in the bunk with Zaya most of the time. And Wright and Xander have their own thing usually during the week. It's probably driving her crazy that she doesn't have anyone to cook for but her and dad."

Victor startled and then relaxed when he felt hands on his hips. He didn't dare look behind him. Just the simple touch was enough to make his legs weak. The hands moved up his back, over his shoulders, and then snaked around to his front. Tawson pulled him closer so their bodies were flush. "I thought-"

"I know," Tawson said. His voice was low and right at Victor's ear. "But fuck, Vic. I don't know what you're doing to me. I feel like I have to touch you when I see you."

The nickname came as a shock. Vic. No one had called him that before. He repeated it in his head, closing his eyes as lips pressed against the back of his neck. He was melting and fast. Vic. He liked it.

"Say it again," Victor said. "What you called me."

"Vic? Do you like being called that?" Victor's mind supplied his own reflection. Bare skin, pleather skirt barely hiding his cock underneath. Vic. He'd never considered the shortening of his name before. But he loved it. He could feel himself getting hard and he dropped his head back to Tawson's shoulder.

"No one's called me that before," he said. "I do like it."

He turned around in Tawson's arms and sealed their lips. This time, Victor took what he wanted. If Tawson was giving in to this once more, he was going to take advantage of it. His tongue fought with Tawson's, wanting the chance to explore. Tawson's lips tasted sweet and Victor moaned into the kiss. His hands were exploring on their own as well, fingertips dipping just below the hem of his shirt. Tawson's skin was warm to the touch.

"Slow down," Tawson whispered. He stilled his hands and Victor pulled back. Tawson's lips were glistening with spit and his cheeks were rosy.

"If you're going to stop this every time we start, please tell me now. Because this isn't going to go away on it's own." He looked down and indicated at the way his shorts were tented. He looked back up at Tawson. He could feel his cheeks were on fire. It was natural, he knew that. But Tawson looked as unaffected as if they'd just been talking about finances or something.

Tawson swallowed, his Adam's Apple bobbing with the motion. His tongue darted out quickly, swiping over his lips. "I don't know what to do," he whispered eventually.

"Don't fight it," Victor said. "I don't even need… all that. I just want to keep kissing you."

"Your body says otherwise, Vic." Tawson's eyes dropped to him once again. "I'm sorry. I can't- You should take care of that."

"Hey, it's okay. It was just a joke." Victor reached out and laid a hand on Tawson's forearm. "I'm no stranger to an erection. It can wait."

Victor tilted his head up and pursed his lips for a chaste kiss. Tawson gave it willingly, no hesitation. Something flipped in Victor's stomach when he pulled back and Tawson was smiling. His eyes were glassy, but he didn't want to risk asking about it and ruining the moment.

Victor didn't know what to say. They just stared at each other for several, long moments. Victor moved first, wrapping his arms around Tawson and hugging him tightly. Tawson hooked his chin over Victor's shoulder. They stood, wrapped in each other's arms. Victor didn't want to move, but they would both need to get a move on if they wanted to make it to the ranch before too long.

"Can I come see you this weekend?" Victor mumbled against the front of his shoulder. He made a small, squeaky noise when Tawson started to pull away. It wasn't cute, but it kept Tawson in place. "Not yet."

"I don't know," Tawson said. "I don't want you risking getting caught by your parents."

"It'll be okay," Victor said. "I promise. Can I?"

"Give me your number and I'll send you a text later, okay?"

Victor finally let him go and took Tawson's phone. Tawson gave him one more quick kiss before putting his hat back on and leaving him to think about what just happened.

He drove back home in a partial daze. His parents were there to greet him, his mom made sure that his food was warmed up while he put his things in is room. If all went well, he wouldn't be sleeping in it tonight.

His parent grilled him on the roommate and true to his word, he pretended like they'd hung out a few times. He told them about his classes and what work he already had to do. They asked him if he saw Paxton at all, which he had once just long enough to say hi and bye. Then they asked the question he knew was coming.

"Have you seen Tawson around much?"

Victor tried to keep his expression in check. "We've seen each other a couple times. He was with Professor Cadman last weekend and then I saw him earlier today."

"He's been keeping to himself lately," his mom said. Both of his parents were sitting at the island on the other side of the stovetop. "I hope he's doing okay. Taking a new job like that has to be stressful."

"I think he's doing alright," Victor said. He finished off the last bite of food on his plate and then turned to put it in the sink. "He did tell me that he thinks you think he can't fend for himself cooking wise because you've invited him to dinner this weekend."

His dad chuckled at that but his mom almost looked offended. Whether at the words or the way her husband was laughing. "I'm just tired of spending every night alone with you."

Victor watched his parents joke back and forth. Despite the words that she said, the way they looked at each other was with nothing short of absolute love. He loved his parents. They were always a great example for them growing up, open and accepting. When William came to the ranch with the idea, Victor knew it was a lot of conversation around it and their parents sat them down to explain everything. His dad made sure that it was okay with both him and Paxton and that they were comfortable with it before agreeing to anything.

He felt his phone buzz in his pocket and he pulled it out, expecting a text from Joe. He'd been talking about a party on Greek row that morning that the whole dorm seemed to be buzzed about. The text wasn't from his best friend though. It was an unsaved number. But he knew who it was from the simple text.

Whenever you want.

"What has you smiling?" his dad asked, startling him. He looked up to see both of his parents were standing now.

"Just a dumb joke that Joe sent me," Victor said. "Are you heading to bed?"

"You should too," his dad said. "I'll be up in the morning to help with the horses. "

"Sounds good," Victor said. "I'm not terribly tired right now so I'll probably be up for a little bit. I'll make sure to set my alarm."

"Love you, sweetie. I've missed having you around." His mom held her arms out and he stepped into them easily. "I'm so proud of the man you're becoming."

Victor could feel the lump forming in his throat. He didn't like that phrase. He heard it a lot and he knew his parents didn't mean any harm in it, but the last couple of years… He just felt itchy inside when he heard the words.

"Thanks, Mom." His dad hugged him too before they made their way upstairs. He thought about going up to his room to change his clothes. He'd already changed from his jeans to a pair of shorts before coming home. Tawson had left him to get to his own car and head home. Instead, he walked back outside and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure how late his parents were going to be up, but he'd wait a little while before chancing it.

I'll be up soon. Sitting outside on the porch. It's a nice night.

He reread the message after he hit send, cringing at the mention of the weather. This guy was someone he'd made out with twice. And the first thing he texts about is the weather?

I'm sitting outside too. It'd be better with some company.

Victor looked at the screen. He knew Tawson was flirting. He closed his eyes and remembered the way Tawson's hands felt on him earlier. Tawson's fingers gripping his wait, his palms sliding up Victor's back, the way his arms hugged him.

Another text came through, this time it was from Joe. It was a picture of a crowd. It looked like a street filled with students. They were dressed in all sorts of outfits and only some of them were looking at the camera. Most had some type of drink in their hand. The text accompanying it was garbled, but Joe sucked at texting so Victor wasn't sure if he'd found some alcohol or just didn't care.

Miss uuu besstieee. May be nxt time!

He shook his head. Joe's forehead was in the bottom corner of the of picture. He texted back for him to stay safe and text when he got back to the dorm. Then he put his phone in his pocket and started down the steps. He looked up, glancing at the window he knew was his parents'. Their window was the one on the left, while Paxton's room was the right. His own room faced the back of the house.

The lights didn't look like they were on. He watched for another couple minutes, piddling around and trying to open his car door quietly. He didn't take into consideration that his car had the automatic headlights. Which would shine directly on the house if he started his car. He sat behind the wheel with the car door still open.

So. Problem.

It was only a second before a new text came in.

Please tell me it doesn't involve your family.

Victor laughed at that. He understood why Tawson was cautious. He got it, but it wasn't like he'd be the first person to end up with someone that came to the ranch. First Wright and his uncle, who had a larger age gap between the two. Then his sister and Zaya. Victor wasn't sure how it would go regarding the fact that he was a professor at the university he went to, but it wasn't like they were planning to go public or anything. Victor wasn't even sure what they were doing. He just knew that the second he was in Tawson's presence, he wanted to touch him, to be near him and talk and laugh.

No. Headlights on car. I don't want to chance them shining on the house.

He got out and closed the door, not bothering to lock it since he was home. There wasn't anything in it worth stealing anyway if someone were to. He looked from the house to the road leading up toward the homes. It really wasn't that bad of a walk. He made up his mind and started walking just as his phone dinged once more.

We can see each other tomorrow then.

It really could be that simple. He could just go back inside and see him after he helped with the horses tomorrow. But he was already walking and his mind was made up. Call him na?ve, but he didn't want to chance Tawson having a night to change his mind. He'd already tried to talk himself out of it twice. Victor wasn't sure if a third time would stick or not.

He used his phone's light to lead the way up the driveway and then to make sure he stayed on the gravel path toward the homes. They were spaced out far enough apart each one had their own privacy. All of the houses were filled and he knew that there were security cameras set on each one. He'd have to be careful to keep his head down. He should have worn a hat or something. Not that he thought anyone would be watching the cameras on a random Friday night.

It was close to nine-thirty when he stood in front of Tawson's door. He couldn't hear anything inside and there looked like it was just one small light on. Had he actually just gone to bed?

He chanced it anyway and knocked lightly three times. He didn't know what he'd do if there was no answer. He didn't want to be rude and wake him if he was asleep. He'd have to walk back to the house and that felt too close to a walk of shame. Even if no one knew he came up here in the first place .

The door opened and cut his thoughts short. Then his breath hitched in his throat and his eyes didn't know where to look. Tawson was shirtless, wearing nothing more than a pair of black sweats and glasses. He was wearing a pair of black rimmed glasses and they looked absolutely hot on him. He shaved too. He had a sharp jawline. The rest of him was cut, definitely not what he thought would be under Tawson's clothes. He had abs and a sharp V that disappeared below his pants.

"I didn't think you were coming up."

"I walked." Victor shrugged. The air was cool enough that the walk hadn't been bad. It was a rare night where the humidity was low.

"You walked?" Tawson's eyes went wide and then he looked behind him. "It's dark out, Vic. Get inside. You shouldn't have done that."

Victor's whole body flushed at the name. It sounded so natural when Tawson said it. He stepped into the house and let Tawson close the door behind him. They stood there, just looking at each other. Now that Victor was there, he didn't know what to do.

"I could have met you at the road, at least." Tawson moved to the sink and turned the tap on. He looked like he was in the middle of washing dishes. Victor admired his back, the way his muscles twitched and moved. He moved across the room, doing the same thing Tawson did to him earlier. He hugged him, pressing his lips right between Tawson's shoulder blades. His skin was warm and smelled fresh. He took another deep breath, trying to place the smell.

"Are you sniffing me?" Tawson asked with a small chuckle in his tone.

"I was trying to place what you smell like," Victor said. He side stepped him and leaned in, making it obvious he was going for a kiss. He smiled when Tawson leaned over, meeting him half way. The kiss was short and he immediately went back to washing the last of his dishes.

"The bottle says Cashmere and rain, whatever that means."

"It should just say delicious," Victor said. "I do not object to it."

"Because I picked it out just for you," Tawson said sarcastically. Victor laughed and leaned against the counter. He watched him wash the final pot in the sink. There was also a plate, cup, and bowl, with the standard silverware.

"What'd you have for dinner?" Victor asked. He wasn't exactly sure how their night was going to progress, but if all they talked about was the weather and food, that was fine. He just liked being around him. And that was kind of a scary thought because- outside of his best friend- Victor hadn't felt like that before. Of course, he didn't spend hours thinking about kissing Joe.

"Grilled chicken and some steamed broccoli. What did your mom cook for you?"

"I wouldn't object to you cooking for me some time," Victor said with a smile. He wiggled his eyebrows jokingly. "But if you must know, she made my favorite: steak tips with grilled peppers and onions."

Tawson dried his hands and turned to face Victor. He leaned forward, boxing him in with his arms on either side. His face was only inches from Victor's. "And what have you been living on during the week?"

"Popcorn, mostly." Tawson dropped his head and mumbled something under his breath. "I'm kidding. I do actually cook. I made a lemon-pepper chicken one night and the mornings I have a later start, I'll do eggs and toast or something. I like to bake more than cook, though."

"At least I don't have to worry about you withering away," Tawson said. His voice was low and almost growly. It was hot. Victor thought he was going for a kiss, but he moved his head at the last second and his lips found the spot where Victor's jaw met his neck.

Victor closed his eyes and let his head fall back, giving Tawson all the room he could want. Neither of them moved their hands. His lips were gentle, brushing against Victor's skin over and over, breath ghosting over his throat. He could feel himself growing harder by the second already.

"You smell good too," Tawson whispered. He pulled back and Victor opened his eyes to see Tawson looking at his lips. "I can't believe you walked up here."

"Call me young and dumb," Victor said with a smile. "But seriously, I just wanted to spend more time with you. It wasn't that big of a deal."

"It's a big deal to me," Tawson said. He finally moved his hands and brushed his palms against Victor's forearms. They laced their fingers together. Victor's whole body was coming alive. He didn't know what Tawson had in mind for tonight, but he was down- and up in other places- for most anything. "Do you want to watch a movie? I don't have a TV, but I have my laptop and Netflix."

"Mister Lancaster!" Victor smiled at the way Tawson reacted to him using his formal name. It was almost comical but also really hot. His eyes bore into Victor's and his hand tightened around Victor's own. "Are you implying that you want to Netflix and chill with me? "

"Is that still a thing with your age?"

"If it gets me closer to you, I'll pretend it is." Tawson smiled and pulled Victor closer. He wrapped his arms around his lower back, pressing their bodies close together. He finally gave Victor a proper kiss and he melted in Tawson's arms. Victor wrapped his hands around Tawson's biceps and parted his lips to deepen the kiss.

"What kind of movies do you like?" Tawson asked. Victor was still standing where Tawson left him next to the sink. He wasn't sure if they were going to sit on the couch or maybe lay in the bed. He didn't want to assume and make Tawson uncomfortable.

"I'm not too picky," Victor said. In truth, he was a sucker for a good drama or romance. But he also enjoyed action movies. "I'm not the biggest fan of horror, though."

"Same," Tawson said. "Jessica loved horror movies and always made fun of me for not wanting to go to the movies with her."

"Jessica?" Victor wasn't that na?ve. He knew someone like Tawson was bound to have a line of exes in his past. Not that he came across as a player or serial dater, but he was a great person. It was hard not the be drawn to him. Victor being exhibits A, B, and C.

"Oh, um." Tawson's whole body stiffened when Victor said the name. He finally moved from the spot and laid a hand on Tawson's back.

"It's fine," he reassured him. "I'm assuming an ex-girlfriend. So, you're bi?"

Tawson stood up, putting that couple of inches height difference on display. He looked relaxed, but his eyes were telling a different story. He looked worried.

"Before we go any further," Tawson said. "Even though I don't know what we're doing here, I want to be honest with you. Jessica was- is, I guess- my ex-wife. We divorced last year, but we'd been separated for longer."

A wife. Okay. So maybe that wasn't what Victor was expecting. But she was an ex for a reason Victor looked down at his left hand and took it into both of his own. He ran his fingertip over Tawson's ring finger, where a wedding band would have been. There was not even a trace of him having worn one. There was no sound in the room for a long moment while Victor thought about it. Did it bother him?

Tawson was ten years older than him. He'd had a life before the ranch, just like Victor had a life before meeting him. He had secrets that he didn't want to let out either. But maybe he could give Tawson something in exchange for telling him that.

"Sometimes," Victor started.

"Vic, you don't have to say anything. I didn't mean for that to be like a secret. I just wanted you to know." Victor looked up at Tawson and smiled. His whole expression was genuine. Victor nodded, taking him up on that. He really hadn't been ready to share that side of him. "I'll understand if that's not something you were prepared for. I can drive you back down to the house."

"No, it's okay. I wasn't expecting it, but it's fine. We both have things we haven't shared. I mean, we really don't know each other that well." Victor dropped his hand and wrapped his arms around Tawson's body. Tawson ran a hand through his hair and Victor couldn't help but lean into the touch. "Whatever we're doing here, it'll all come with time. Or it won't."

"You're something, you know that?" Tawson smiled and they shared one more, quick kiss before separating and Tawson grabbed the laptop. Tawson moved to the side of the bed, answering his earlier question without a word. Victor walked to the other side and they settled down side-by-side. Tawson fiddled with the laptop before moving it to lay between their legs. Tawson lifted his arm, though, for Victor to cuddle closer on the pillow. It was a little awkward, but he didn't mind.

They watched the movie, something new that he'd actually been meaning to watch, in relative silence. Tawson's fingers constantly drew circles on Victor's arm and he kept his head on his shoulder. He felt Tawson rest his head against his about halfway through the movie. It was nice. Victor enjoyed it. When the credits started rolling, Tawson reached out and closed the laptop and moved it to the bedside table. He moved down the bed to lay his head on the pillow and motioned for Victor to do the same.

"Are you tired?" Tawson asked once Victor was settled, laying on his side against Tawson's body. They weren't even under the covers. He rested one hand against Tawson's stomach, tracing the lines of his body.

"A bit," Victor said. "I have to be up at six to help with the horses though."

"You're going to be sleepy in the morning. Did you want to stay here or go back to your house?"

"Stay here," he said immediately. He could feel more than hear the rumble of laughter coming from Tawson. "I mean, unless you wanted me to go."

"Not really," Tawson said. He rolled onto his side and faced Victor. He was still laying on Tawson's left arm, but his other and came up to brush back Victor's hair. It wasn't really in his face, but Victor wasn't questioning it. "I like having you here. But make sure you set your alarm."

"Yes, sir." Victor rolled his eyes but moved to pull his phone out of his pocket. He set it for four-thirty, knowing that would give him enough time to get back to the house and sneak in before his dad woke up at five. He smiled when he dropped himself on top of Tawson to reach across and put his phone on top of the laptop. There was no bedside table on his side.

"You have the cutest little giggles," Tawson said. He wrapped his arms around Victor tight enough to not let him move. Not that he would fight it anyway. He let out a small squeal when Tawson flipped them so Victor was laying on his back again. Tawson held his torso up with his hands on either side of Victor, but that just pushed his hips further into Victor's. And he could feel everything.

"Looks like someone's enjoying himself," Victor said.

"I could say the same," Tawson replied. "But, you have to be awake in five hours."

Victor pouted. Full on, bottom lip sticking out and everything. His mom always joked that he'd perfected the gimme eyes at an early age.

"What am I getting myself into?" Tawson whispered, more to himself than wanting an actual answer. He dropped his head and sealed their lips. It was hot from the start and Victor could feel both of them getting more excited. Victor lifted his hips, seeking friction. "You have no desire to sleep right now, do you?"

"Not exactly," Victor said, slightly breathless.

"Vic, look at me." Tawson stopped all his movements and Victor's eyes found his. His cock jerked at the nickname. "Are you sure? Because if we cross that line… If we got caught."

"We're not hurting anyone," Victor said. "It's just us here. Please."

Tawson smiled and kissed him once again. It was slower, more intimate than any of their others. Victor's fingers curled around Tawson's hips, Tawson's hand cupped the side of his face. They both shifted their hips, seeking the same feeling of release.

"Fuck, that feels good." Tawson whispered the words against Victor's skin. He pulled back, sitting on his heels. He was straddling Victor's legs. "Have you…" Victor knew what he was asking.

"I have," Victor said. He could feel his cheeks heat and he looked off to the side. "Once."

Tawson didn't say anything to that confession. Victor had gotten himself off more times than he could count, as any typical teenager did, but his experience with another person was limited.

"Well, we'll have to make that two someday, but tonight, you need to sleep. So, you just lay there."

Victor's heart was beating rapidly with excitement and anticipation in his chest. He watched each movement Tawson made. The way he scooted further down the bed. How his fingers felt against Victor's skin when he ran them up his thighs and underneath his shorts. He felt chills forming wherever Tawson touched.

Without much preamble, Tawson moved his hands to hook into his shorts and tugged them down. Victor's cock sprang free, harder than he'd ever been. It stood straight up from the patch of hair. He should have shaved when he thought about it the other day. Victor's thoughts turned on a dime and he suddenly felt self-conscious.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Of course Tawson immediately caught on to the shift in his thoughts. He still had his shorts in his hands and started to pull them back up. Victor reached out his hands to stop him.

"No, don't stop. I just- It's silly. I just realized that I'm usually more groomed than this."

Tawson's eyes dropped to his cock and one hand traced up his bare thigh and over the patch of hair. Victor sucked in a sharp breath when Tawson wrapped his hand around the base of his cock and squeezed just slightly. A bead of precum formed at his slit. He couldn't believe this was happening.

"I don't mind," Tawson said.

Victor watched, transfixed, as Tawson swiped his finger over his head to collect the cum already leaking. Then, in a move that nearly made Victor come on the spot, he dribbled a bit of spit right on his cock and used it as lube. The slide was everything Victor wished for.

He moved his eyes to Tawson's hand working him over. He wasn't very big and Tawson's fist covered most of his cock. He was just shy of five inches and all but the head fit in Tawson's grip. "Your balls are… Fuck. I want to lick them."

"Please," Victor said. He was embarrassed that this would be over within minutes. "I'm already close, Tawson."

Tawson didn't make him beg. He bent down and removed his hand, using his tongue to lick a stripe from balls to head. He wrapped his lips around Victor's cock and hallowed his cheeks. Victor's whole body jerked at the sensation. Tawson seemed to swallow him to the base with ease. He bobbed his head several times, tongue tracing the underside and against the ridge of his cockhead. It was a lot at once and Tawson wasn't giving him a break. He pulled off with a soft pop sound, his tongue dipping into Victor's slit. Tawson wrapped his hand back around him as his lips found his sack. He pumped his hand and sucked one ball into his mouth.

"Oh fuck! Oh god, that feels so good." Victor's left hand went to his own hair for something to pull. His other was on the back of Tawson's head. He dared to open his eyes and look at what was going on instead of just feeling. He locked eyes with the older man and that was it. Without warning, he came over Tawson's hand. His cock twitched with each wave of his orgasm, but Tawson didn't let up. His cock pulsed once more when he realized a bit of his cum had hit the side of Tawson's face, dripping slowly down his cheek. Tawson licked him clean, smiling and watching Victor the whole time. "That was- Yeah."

"Better than your first time?" Tawson asked teasingly after a minute. He helped Victor pull his shorts back up and then, just so casually, swiped his finger against his own cheek and licked it clean.

"How is that so hot?" Victor was spent, but he could see the sly smile form on Tawson's face. His eyes dropped to see his own shorts were tented. Tawson must have known what he was thinking.

"Not tonight, Vic. You really do need sleep." He moved to lay back down beside Victor. He was all too happy to let himself be manhandled so he was the little spoon under the blanket. He could feel Tawson's cock against his ass. It was reassuring in a strange way, knowing that he was turned on by what happened.