Chapter Ten

~ Victor ~

" H ow is the roommate?" His mom asked Sunday. They were sitting on the porch in the chairs, a small table between them. He'd been up for hours already, helping with the horses and turning them out into the pasture for the day. Some of the horses were taken out to the back pasture earlier in the morning but had since been returned to the paddock. They were happily grazing, back with their two friends who had an equally exciting day. Two of Zaya's kids from California came out for the weekend. It was part of her program she started with Victor and Paxton's dad to continue helping the Shining Stars Orphanage, a place Zaya used to volunteer at before she left the state. They would bring one or two kids out for a weekend to "live" the ranch life. They would meet the horses, play with Chauncey, and run around and just be a kid in a completely new environment. It was a great thing but Victor was tired after helping all day.

And he didn't see Tawson once. Which, yeah, needy, but he had in his head last night that they were going to spend the whole weekend together. And Tawson didn't have a car. They'd texted a few times and Tawson said he was just going to hang around the house for the day and get some grading done for his classes. Maybe it was stupid of them to drive home together. If his mom questioned it, he didn't have an answer. "It didn't start," seemed logical enough. Maybe.

"He's alright," Victor said after a few seconds. He'd taken a sip of his sweet tea to come up with a believable half-truth. His roommate was alright. In the fact that Victor barely saw him. He'd been to the dorm twice while Victor was there. And never stayed long. The second time had been to video chat with his family. He showed them around and introduced Victor as well. He'd left an hour later.

Most nights, Victor would either be on the couch or in his bed, texting or talking on the phone with Tawson. He'd fallen asleep more than once in the middle of a conversation and woke up the next morning with a Goodnight, Princess text. It gave Victor butterflies every time he heard or read the pet name.

"Such a conversationalist," his mom said. He glanced over at her and saw how her eyebrows were raised in a sarcastic tone. He rolled his eyes.

"He's great, actually. Keeps the place clean, lets me pick the movie or show, we have similar interests. Doesn't use up all the hot water in the shower. Doesn't bring anyone home."

He wouldn't mention the fact that his… He wasn't sure what Tawson was to him. But he wouldn't mention that he'd been over more than once. Nothing happened, but he wouldn't be against something happening in the future. It wasn't for lack of inviting him over. That offer was given almost every day when Victor knew Tawson was about to head back to the ranch. Victor loved their weekend nights, but he was getting greedy for more .

"And you're being respectful too?" his mom asked. Victor rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Mom. I'm mostly in my room anyway. I do a weekly study group with some other students but that's about it. Joe's come over a few times. It's pretty chill."

"That's good. And how are your classes going?"

"Not too bad," he said. "It's still pretty early in the semester but I'm taking my easier classes right now. I've been giving myself a couple of hours in the evening to study and work on my stuff so I'm doing alright."

Victor looked out off the front porch toward the road that led to the main one. He could see someone in the distance. It only took a second to realize it was Tawson. It was hot as hell outside in the late August heat. His mom must have seen him at the same time because they both stood up.

"I'll go see if he needs something," Victor said. He had his keys in his pocket because, well. He was hopeful that he'd find a reason to leave.

"Why wouldn't he drive his car?" His mom asked. She took both of their empty cups.

"Oh, um, he rode home with me Friday night." Victor frantically ran through his brain for plausible reasons he could tell his mom. He definitely couldn't go with the truth. He refused to look at his mom. "His car wouldn't start and he texted me since I was going back too."

"Oh dear," his mom whispered. "I hope it isn't anything major. Maybe your dad can go out with him to jump it off or something."

"I'll ask him," Victor said. "I'm going to go see what he wants."

Victor moved quickly to get in his car and start it. He tried to not drive up too fast, and keep in mind that he could see his mom watching him in the rearview mirror. Tawson was a sight as he pulled up next to him. He had a slight sheen of sweat on his face. He was wearing a pair of blue basketball shorts and sandals, with a tank top on. He looked incredible.

Victor rolled his window down when Tawson stopped. "You know, normally I wouldn't pick someone up on the side of the road, but there are so many things going through my mind that we could do right now."

Tawson laughed and leaned one hand against the top of Victor's car door, leaning in slightly. As much as Victor wanted to lean closer and kiss him, they were still in plain view of his mom. If she was still outside. She was probably calling his dad to ask if he could help Tawson out. The move, though, sent a whiff of Tawson's scent through the car.

"I don't normally take people up on their offers for rides, but I could make an exception this one time."

"The urge to kiss you is strong right now," Victor said. "But I don't know if my mom is still on the porch. Were you actually needing something? You could have just texted me."

"Oh, no." He stood back up and grabbed the front of his shirt to fan himself. "I was honestly just getting some walking in. I've been grading papers all morning. And maybe drinking my coffee while watching his hot guy work with the horses this morning."

"You think my uncle is hot?" Victor asked, screwing up his face in fake disgust. "That's gross. And he's taken."

Tawson scoffed and looked back toward the main house. He was smiling when he looked back at Victor. He leaned down closer into the open window. "Kiss me. No one's looking." Victor smiled into the kiss. It was nothing more than lips, short and sweet. "You are the only one I was watching. I can promise you that."

"So." Victor sat back in the seat when Tawson stood back up. "I kind of panicked and told my mom that your car is still on campus. Made an excuse that your car wouldn't start. So, I mean, if you wanted to make an excuse that you needed me to take you somewhere, I'm all yours."

"I love the sound of that," Tawson said. "And I know just how we could spend the day. I'm thinking laundry. And shopping. And meal prepping."

"I'll be more than happy to watch you do all of that," Victor said with a sly grin. "If you need to though, I'll go let my mom know and we can steal some hours away. I have a little bit of homework I need to do anyway so I can do that while you wash clothes."

"Sounds great," Tawson said. "I'll head back to my house if you want to meet me in about twenty minutes. I'll get everything together."

"It's a date," Victor said.

Tawson reached through the window and brushed his hand across Victor's cheek. Victor leaned into the touch. "Mmm, no Princess. You'll know when I'm taking you on a date."

Victor's cheeks heated at those words. God, he was a goner. He knew it. The way he felt with Tawson was like nothing he ever expected. And the thought of going on an actual date? Victor was totally down for that.

"Alright, well, thanks for that boner." Victor could feel himself growing in his own shorts at just the thought of a date and what they could do afterward. "I'll be back. Also, sorry if my dad calls you to offer to help with your car. You can just tell him that I'll take you back Monday morning. "

"Thanks for the heads up," Tawson said. "And I'll help you with your situation later."

Victor made quick work of turning back around and letting his mom know the plan. He was set to help in the barn once more this evening but that was hours away. Victor grabbed his backpack from his room and shoved his books and notebook in there. He did plan on getting some work done today. His mom gave him a quick hug before he went back out to the car. He really tried to downplay his excitement to hang out with Tawson in front of her.

He didn't bother turning his car off when he pulled up and made his way to the door. He knew Tawson could see him pull up, but Victor wanted a minute with him. He didn't get a chance to knock before the door was pulled open and a shirtless Tawson was right in front of him, pulling Victor into the house.

"Fuck," Victor moaned, letting the word run longer than necessary. Tawson's lips pressed against Victor's in a fervor of a kiss. Victor parted his lips immediately. His body sagged against the door and Tawson's arms wrapped around him to hold him up. He pushed his tongue into Victor's mouth, taking everything he wanted without any of the sweetness they'd had before. Victor was already hard, his body immediately reacting to the way Tawson was taking control and taking it so quickly.

"I missed you this morning," Tawson whispered when he finally pulled back to take a breath. His words trailed over Victor's ear and down his neck. Tawson peppered his skin with small kisses. His hands slid under Victor's shirt. "I swear I've never been this crazy before. Baby, you are amazing."

"Same to you," Victor said. "I'm totally regretting leaving my car running."

Tawson pulled back, a slight frown on his lips. But then it disappeared and Victor's breath caught in his throat when the older man sank to his knees and, with no preamble, pulled his shorts to his knees. "We'll have to make this quick then. I need to taste you again."

And quick it was. Embarrassingly quick. Tawson definitely had no problem taking Victor's cock all the way and he used that to his advantage. Tawson's tongue was magic. Victor cursed into the room when he shot down Tawson's throat in less than five minutes. And if his dick didn't twitch when Tawson stood up and kissed him once again. He could taste his own cum on Tawson's tongue and god, it was hot.

"We should get going," Tawson said easily.

Victor situated his pants and then grabbed the laundry detergent Tawson pointed to. Victor was still trying to come back from that intense orgasm when he settled behind the steering wheel and Tawson rested his hand on his upper thigh.

They drove in easy silence into Fairwind and parked outside of the laundromat. "I'm going to put the clothes in the washer. Do you want to go to Albert's and get some food?"

"I could eat," Victor said. He'd had breakfast with his parents and Xander. They were planning family dinner later but he wouldn't mind missing out tonight.

Victor offered to help, but Tawson declined. Instead, he watched him fill three washers. He'd brought his blankets and sheets too. Victor lifted his eyebrows in silent implication and then prided himself seeing Tawson blush. The man reserved a lot of expressions so getting something out of Tawson felt like a feat. There was no one else in the building, but the windows were way too clear and bright for them to risk even a small kiss or standing too close. He hoped that maybe he could enjoy those fresh sheets with him tonight .

Joe texted him while he was waiting for Tawson to finish. Just a simple question asking what he was doing. He sent a picture of the laundromat, sans the professor. He knew that Joe was cool and would probably just think they happened to be doing their laundry at the same time, but he didn't want to risk it. Joe sent a picture back of a group in the dorm. Some had books open, others had what looked like some sort of drink in their hand. Bowls of chips and other various snacks were spread around. Victor furrowed his brows, really hoping that the cups were filled with something non-alcoholic. He never really drank, didn't like the taste of it but he knew that Joe was living it up with the full college experience. He was, mostly, responsible about drinking but it was barely noon yet. He said as much in his responding text.

Relax, dad. It's just study group. We actually have a project due in a week so we're working on it and splitting up the tasks. Computer science is no joke here.

Victor sighed, relieved at that. They would have to hang out this week if schedules allowed.

"What are you over there smiling about?" Tawson asked. He was putting the last of the quarters into the machine and pressed a few buttons to get it started.

"Just Joe. He's in a study group thing right now. I was thinking about inviting him over to hang out sometime this week since someone else never takes me up on my offer." Victor shifted his eyes to look at Tawson through his lashes while his face was still downcast toward his phone. His fingers were blindly tapping away a response to his best friend.

"You know I can't do that," Tawson said. He almost sounded sad when he said the words.

"I know," Victor said. "And I know that whatever we're doing here, between us, isn't exactly the most common of things, but I do wish I didn't have to make up excuses to see or talk to you around other people."

"Maybe someday," Tawson said. He started toward the door and Victor followed. "I like us being us together right now. That's enough for you, right?"

"Of course," Victor said. And that was the truth. But like he'd started to realize more and more when they hung out; Victor was a physical touch person with Tawson. He wanted to reach out and hold his hand or brush a finger down his cheek. He wanted to kiss him and just cuddle. He wanted to suck his dick dry and finally fuck. That was hard to do when you only saw the person for a couple of hours a week. He didn't want to ask him to put labels on what they were doing, but he felt like they were quickly moving past the casual hookups stage. Right? Maybe he was showing his age trying to turn casual into something.

The heat was unbearable for the three minutes it took them to cross the street and get to Albert's Ale. There was only one other customer in the entire room. A.J. was working and he greeted Victor by name. He shook Victor's hand with a smile, but his eyes darted to the man beside him.

"This is Tawson Lancaster," Victor introduced. They took their seats side-by-side at the bar. The other patron, Old Man Porter, was slumped in a corner table near the stage.

"Nice to meet you," A.J. said with a smile. "What brings you two in today?"

"Doing laundry," Victor said after a second of hesitation between both of them.

"Well," A.J. turned his attention to Tawson and leaned both hands against the other side of the bar. "You definitely could have picked better company than Mister Always Carrying A Book."

Victor chuckled at the joke, hoping that it didn't show how much things like that bothered him. It wasn't even so much the mister part. But he'd been deemed the quiet one, the one that always distanced themselves a bit. Maybe he'd subconsciously did it so people would give him space. He wasn't sure. But he did like having friends and meeting new people wasn't the worst thing in the world. He had his own study group and he talked to several of the students in his other classes. He was outgoing. Just not around those that he knew more than acquaintances. Maybe he'd have to work on that. But it meant the chance of someone learning the secret that only one other person knew.

"I rather like Victor's company, actually. As an English professor at the college, I think they're quite smart."

Victor's head whipped up from staring at the bar top. He could see the slight confusion on A.J.'s face too at the use of the general pronoun. They'd never discussed it again, after Victor poured his heart out in that story. Of course, he melted every time Tawson called him Vic or Princess. But this- This was in public with others and said a great deal about himself. Victor's reaction most definitely made it more obvious. Tawson seemed to clock the worry on Victor's face and opened his mouth to say something. But A.J. beat him to it.

"Well, I guess that makes sense then. I won't interrupt your nerd talk much. What can I get started for y'all?"

Victor ordered the chicken and fries with a Coke and Tawson went for a burger, fries, and a beer. "I'm not the one driving," he said with a half-smile. When A.J. walked away, though, the tension between them rose steadily. Victor wasn't sure how to feel. He didn't mind it in their little bubble of secrets, hearing the traditionally feminine names or even using gender neutral pronouns. But around others? People he knew. They would start speculating, wouldn't they? And then that would lead to him having to explain things. Things he didn't fully understand himself. He knew what he felt, but that didn't mean he was ready for others-

"I'm sorry." Tawson hadn't moved. They were both looking anywhere but at each other. Victor continued to wrangle his hands together while his thoughts tried to sort themselves. Tawson's body was stiff. Victor could see the way his shoulders were hunched slightly and his forearms rested on the rounded edge of the bar. "I didn't mean to imply anything."

A.J. came back with their drinks then and it seemed to break the stiff spell between them. Victor waited until he walked away again to say anything. He straightened his spine and tried to find the right words. His whole body was on pins and needles. His mouth was suddenly dry and he lifted his drink to his lips for two long gulps.

"It just took me by surprise," Victor said. "I don't- You know I'm scared that people might look at me differently."

"I think you're underestimating those around you," Tawson said. "But I'm sorry. Would you prefer me to use the typical pronouns around others until you're comfortable?" The question was whispered, but still Victor wanted to look around and make sure no one had walked in without them seeing.

"I don't know," Victor said after a second. He was trying to calm the last of the nerves. "I don't know what I want."

"That's okay, too." Victor finally looked up at Tawson. Victor blinked back a couple of tears that were building up. "Hey, it's okay. I'm sorry, Vic. I didn't think about it when I said it. I'll keep it between us until you're ready. You let me know when that is, okay?"

"What if I'm never ready?"

"You will be, one day." His words were confident and the promise settled Victor's racing mind. "But until then, I'll keep being that safe space for you."

"Thank you."

They settled after that. A.J. brought out their food and chatted for a few minutes about the ranch and asked how everyone was. While him and Tawson were talking about something business-like, Victor noticed a necklace swaying slightly with each movement from A.J.'s neck. It was on a black leather string with a small, marble-like ball hanging from it. There was a piece of something inside it, but he couldn't tell what it was.

"What's the necklace?" Victor asked when there was a break in their conversation.

"Oh, this?" A.J.'s hand reach up and his fingers wrapped around it gently. Protectively. "It was a gift from someone. They made it themselves."

"What's inside it?" Victor asked.

"It's just a piece of fabric from something important," A.J. said. Victor could take a hint. He didn't push the subject further, commented that it was nice and let A.J. walk away. They started eating their food, which was just the right side of greasy and delicious.

"You know he's dating Lucky, right?" Tawson asked after a few minutes of them eating. "Your sister gave me the rundown of everyone involved with the ranch one evening."

"I can imagine how she introduced me," Victor said, half sarcastically. He knew it was most likely how any other person would; shy, quiet, withdrawn. Maybe he should work on that.

"She said you tended to have a quiet personality, but there were moments where you were actually fun." Tawson's eyes flicked over to Victor and he smirked. "I can definitely vouch for the having fun aspect."

Victor nearly choked on the fry he'd just shoved in his mouth. He drank the last of his Coke and Tawson reached to pat his back between his shoulders. He was laughing quietly. "Don't choke now."

"And here I thought you liked when I choked."

A throat clearing on the other side of the bar caught both of their attentions. Victor's head spun around and saw A.J. standing there. "I was just coming over to make sure you were okay and refill your drink."

Neither of them said anything. They looked from A.J. to each other and then back. In the back of Victor's mind, it was like that Spider-Man meme where the three of them were just staring, pointing fingers. No one knew what to say. A.J. took Victor's glass and filled it with fresh ice and Coke. When he brought it back, he stood between both of them and spoke. "I'm not judging. Lord knows I can't. I'm happy for you, though, Victor. At least you pulled a smart one. I love my guy but he's got two brain cells and they go on vacation frequently."

Tawson chuckled at the joke and Victor tried to relax. A.J. reached a hand out and tapped the bar to get his attention. "I'm not going to tell anyone, Victor. Part of the job as bartender; you learn to keep the secrets of the people that come through those doors."

"Thank you," Victor said.

"Your man here might want to keep the eyes off you a little bit, though. Kind of giving the touch him and die vibes."