24. Twenty-Three

We took the elevator down to the fourth floor, which housed the infirmary. I squirmed as the elevator sank, still trying to process everything that’d happened. It was too much to wrap my head around, and yet I still wanted answers.

Or did I?

Maybe it would be better if I just forgot about all of this. I could tell Algerone I wasn’t interested in whatever he was offering. Maybe he’d let me go.

I looked over at him standing in the opposite corner of the elevator. When I was little, I used to try to imagine what my real father was like. I conjured images of someone who looked like me, someone normal who ran errands on Saturdays in t-shirts and jeans. Why couldn’t my father be someone like that instead of the head of some international group of assassins? Or whatever it was he did. That was still a little unclear.

All I knew was that I wanted no part of it. I wanted Boone to take me home, back to the junkyard, but that probably wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

The elevator doors opened. Algerone and the two guards that’d come with us escorted me down the hallway. I was thankful, at least, that Maxime had stayed upstairs with Xander and Xavier. I got the feeling he didn’t like me very much, and the feeling was mutual.

We reached a set of glass double doors that slid open for us. Bright white lights and pristine walls marked the first variation of color I’d seen since being let out of my cell earlier. The infirmary resembled a smaller version of a hospital emergency room, with several rooms separated by blue curtains. The four we passed were all empty, but the curtain on the fifth room was drawn shut.

My heart jumped up into my throat. I looked up at Algerone but couldn’t find the words to ask if Boone was in there. As soon as Algerone nodded, I dashed forward, yanking the curtain aside.

My heart nearly stopped at the sight of him in that hospital bed. Both his eyes were black and swollen. A strip of white tape lay across his nose. He was hooked up to IVs and half a dozen other machines and monitors, but what really struck me was how weak he looked in that ugly hospital gown.

Pain clenched tight around my heart as I realized just how close I’d been to losing him. Algerone could’ve killed him. I still didn’t know why he hadn’t.

“Boone.” His name was barely a whisper on my lips as I went to the end of his bed.

He didn’t move, though his vitals were stable. What if he was in a coma? He looked like he’d been hit by a bus.

I couldn’t stop myself from climbing into bed with him. The need to touch him, be with him, inhale him was too strong. I straddled his still body, trying to tune out the beeps and whirrs of the machinery. He looked so pale. Had he been that pale before? I couldn’t remember.

“Boone?” My voice cracked as I ran my fingers through the bristly hairs of his beard. Tears stung my eyes. I tried to swallow them down. God dammit, I wasn’t going to cry again. Not over him. “Boone, wake up.”

For the first time, I found myself considering what my life would be like without him. If Boone never woke up, I’d be all alone again. No one understood me like him. He’d cared for me when I was at my worst, held onto me when no one else wanted me, fought for me when I couldn’t fight for myself.

He’d loved me in spite of myself, even if he’d never said it. Boone deserved the chance to say it, and to hear me say it back, because it was true. No matter how I fought it, I had to admit it. Somewhere along the way, I’d fallen in love with him. It was an impossible accident. We shouldn’t have worked together, me and Boone, but we did. I couldn’t imagine another hour without him by my side, let alone a lifetime.

“Please wake up, Boone,” I repeated, leaning in and pressing our foreheads together. “I need you I…” I swallowed and took a deep breath before whispering, “I love you,” and ghosting a kiss over his still lips.

Boone’s long lashes fluttered against my cheek, and I leaned back in time to see him open his eyes. “Hey, Pup,” he said and then winced as I threw my arms around him.

“Boone!” I shouted, burying my face against his neck and inhaling. Breathing him in wasn’t enough. I needed to taste him, but even licking his skin didn’t feel like enough.

“Easy. Easy!” he shouted when I started nipping at the sensitive skin, though his hands closed around my waist like he wanted more. It was sending confusing signals.

It wasn’t until I leaned back to frown at him that I remembered he was injured. “Sorry.”

He winced and let go of me. “It’s all right, just… Can someone turn down the lights? I feel like there’s a jackhammer right on my optic nerve.”

I frowned and looked up. The lights were off. The only thing illuminating the room was the pale light coming off the monitor.

“That would be the concussion.” Algerone strode in and turned the monitor away from Boone. “I’m told it’s minor and that you’ll make a full recovery.”

“Lucky you have such a hard head,” I said.

He grunted in response.

I looked over at Algerone, who was pretending to study the monitors instead of looking at me. He was making such an effort not to look at us that it had to be intentional, though I doubted it was because he felt guilty about what he’d done to Boone.

“You didn’t know we were together, did you?” I said to him.

Algerone glanced at me and then quickly away. “I was under the impression that you were being held against your will.”

“I was,” I said and then frowned. “At first.”

Algerone arched an eyebrow.

I scowled at him. “This isn’t Stockholm Syndrome, so you can stow the judgment. It’s more of a…” I looked down at Boone, trying to find the right words.

“Forced proximity?” supplied Boone.

That sounded right so I shrugged and nodded.

Algerone folded his hands behind his back. “I thought I was rescuing you from someone who was exploiting you for money. The data suggested—”

“You’d have known that wasn’t the case if you had just talked to me.”

My father sighed and pulled over a chair, seating himself in it and resting his elbows on his knees. “The truth is that it never occurred to me that you might be…” He frowned. “…together.”

I frowned. “You don’t approve?”

Not that I cared what he thought. Algerone could eat a flaming pile of dog shit and I wouldn’t piss on him to put out the fire. But Xander and Xavier would want to know if our father was a homophobic piece of shit.

He sighed again and drew his hand over his face. “You misunderstand. This isn’t about approval, just as my pursuit of you boys isn’t about being a father to you. I recognize that opportunity passed long ago. But knowing it logically and accounting for the emotional reactions on your side is… difficult for me. I’m so used to seeing data, analyzing it, and coming to the correct conclusion that I often find it difficult to factor in things like feelings. Look at it from my perspective. A mercenary who stood to gain a considerable profit had my son. My contact with that mercenary eroded, and he did not hold up his end of the deal, even when given a specific deadline.”

“Fuck your deadline,” Boone spat. “You’re talking about a human fucking being like he’s a commodity.”

“To me, he is,” Algerone said coldly. “Everyone is. It’s not something I can change. It’s simply how I am.”

“Jesus,” I said, shifting off Boone. “You’re a psychopath.”

I’d been in the psych ward long enough that I’d met my fair share. I didn’t know why I didn’t see it right away. Maybe it was the expensive suit, the nice hair, the multi-billion-dollar skyscraper he seemed to own, but there was no denying it. His eyes were cold and empty. It explained a lot about how he’d approached my so-called rescue, and why he’d taken so little interest in us beforehand.

“That doesn’t mean I’m a monster,” Algerone said, spreading his hands wide. “I may struggle with empathy and close attachments, but I understand and adhere to a strict moral code. I’m not incapable of feeling. Not entirely. But I have no desire for some warm and caring relationship with you or your brothers. That’s something I think they’ll struggle to understand for some time. But not you.” He folded his hands together. “I can be honest with you.”

My lip pulled up. “You expect me to just forgive you? After you did this to the man I…” I swallowed. “To Boone?”

Algerone sat up straighter. “You’re assuming I harbor some guilt. I don’t. Without guilt, forgiveness is meaningless. I neither want nor need your forgiveness.”

His words made my blood boil. I knew psychopaths didn’t feel guilt, but to see it in action… He wasn’t even going to pretend to care about all the shit he’d done.

“Why would you even go through all this if you didn’t want us?” I spat.

His stare was chilling. “I do want you boys,” he said eventually. “But for purely selfish reasons. I’ve dedicated my life to building an empire. I have wealth and access to nearly every luxury. I even own my own private island and a whole fleet of private jets to get there. Anything you can name, I have it. Except for one thing: someone to pass it to when I die.”

I stared at him in disbelief. That’s what this was all about? My father was so concerned about his stupid empire that he’d kidnapped and nearly killed the only person I’d ever loved and practically ruined my life?

Algerone smiled as if he were completely unaware that I was fuming. “You boys are my legacy. The next generation of—”

“No,” I said firmly.

Algerone’s smile faded. “No?” He laughed. “Xion, you don’t get to say no. I thought you, of all people, would understand. What we’re doing here is essential. It’s much deeper than murder for hire. Lucky Losers Inc. is the hand that will level the playing field. Think of all the people we can help.”

“You don’t care about helping people though, do you?” How could he? He’d openly admitted to being a psychopath. He didn’t give a damn about anyone but himself.

“Perhaps not,” he said, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back. “But you do. Even if you want to pretend like you don’t. You know better than anyone what it feels like to be a victim of a broken system. Isn’t there a part of you driven to fix that? Or at least help others who might be in your situation? Is that not the exact definition of empathy, Xion? Which you clearly have. It’s what I’ve been missing all this time, exactly what Lucky Losers Inc. needs to take our operations to the next level.”

My mouth went dry listening to him. I shouldn’t have been shocked to hear him outline his plan to use our empathy to make him richer. He was just like everyone else, treating us like we were property to be used and exploited to his advantage. Maybe my brothers didn’t see it, but I did. I knew exactly what Algerone Caisse-Etremont was about.

“You don’t have to decide now,” Algerone said standing. “I recognize this has been a stressful day. Think it over. Take your time. If you’d like, I have rooms on the sixth floor prepared for you three.”

I shook my head and stretched out in the hospital bed on my side next to Boone. “I’m staying right here. Where he goes, I go.”

Algerone frowned. “It’ll be a week or more before he’s fully recovered.”

“Then you know where to find me in the meantime.” I threaded an arm around Boone’s head and threw my leg over his, clinging to him.

Algerone sighed. “If you change your mind, you can use the nurse call button. There’s trained staff on call here twenty-four seven that can get in touch with me.”

“Wait,” Boone croaked. “My team…”

“All here,” Algerone said. “Well, not in the infirmary. Mr. Pope was rather combative when he came to, so he’s in a holding cell for his own protection, but he’s receiving the highest level of care. The others are confined to the sixth floor under observation. They’re being treated well, but I hope you understand I can’t allow them to wander freely through the tower. For their own safety.”

Boone’s fingers tightened around mine. “I want to see them.”

Algerone nodded. “When you’re well enough. Unfortunately, due to security concerns, they won’t be able to leave their suite of rooms on the sixth floor until my team has cleared them, and that could take a while. Is there anything else I can get for you to make you more comfortable?”

I opened my mouth to tell him to fuck off but reconsidered. If he was going to exploit me, why couldn’t I do it right back? “Yeah. Two packs of Lucky Strike cigarettes and a good lighter.”

I didn’t move, even when Algerone had someone bring in the cigarettes. I stared at them sitting on the little metal bedside table, my skin itching for a hit of nicotine. It’d been almost twenty-four hours since I’d had one, and I was starting to feel it, but I didn’t want to leave Boone’s side. Not even for a second.

We didn’t talk much. Boone asked me what happened, and then dozed off before I could finish the second sentence. I didn’t blame him. I’d never had a concussion before, but he looked awful. He needed to sleep so he could heal.

I rested my chin on his shoulder, watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful. More peaceful than he ever looked when he was awake. Did he even know I was there? I brushed my fingers over some stitches on his forehead. That was definitely going to leave a scar. His body was littered with them, each one a story that I had yet to learn.

My eyes fell on the cigarettes again and I chewed on my lip before tilting Boone’s head toward me. “Boone?”

“Mmm? Xion? What…” He scrunched his face up and winced. “Fuck, my head…”

“I’ll see if I can get you something for the pain.” I sat up, feeling guilty about leaving him already. But if I didn’t smoke, I was going to be even more short-tempered when Algerone came back. “I’m going to go smoke, but I’ll be back soon, okay?” I planted a quick kiss on his lips.

Fuck, when did I become the type of guy who gave quick pecks on the mouth? It felt disgustingly domestic. I fucking loved it.

Boone grabbed my wrist as I moved to get out of bed. “Xion? You’re… okay?”

My heart clenched. “I’m okay, Boone,” I said and leaned down to give him another kiss, lingering almost long enough for it to become sensual. I had to hold back. Boone was in no condition for sex, no matter how much I wanted it.

After the second kiss, he settled back into bed with a smile and was snoring in seconds. I tucked him in and hit the nurse call button.

A young man in scrubs appeared.

“Can he have something for the pain? He said his head hurts.”

The nurse nodded and turned to go. “I’ll be right back.”

“Hey, wait.” I snatched the cigarettes from the table along with the lighter. “Where can I go for a quick smoke?”

The stars were out, but I couldn’t see them. We were somewhere in a city, one I didn’t recognize. From the balcony of the fourteenth floor, I eyed the unfamiliar skyline, picking out landmarks in case they’d be useful later. There was a prominent river. The Ohio River maybe? Or it could be any river, I supposed. I didn’t know how far the helicopter had taken us. The night sky was awash in a blue glow that reflected off the cloud cover, and a sparkling sea of golden lights peeked out at the world from dozens of skyscrapers. The building we were in towered above them all at forty-one stories, but there were plenty of them. We seemed to be one of many such buildings in a little square of them.

I watched headlights speed over a distant bridge like ants scurrying back to their anthill after a hard day of marching. What was it like to be one of them? A normal person with a normal job and a normal family? I used to want to be that, even when I knew it was forever out of reach.

When I was in the hospital, the only thing I’d wanted was to get out, and once I did, I wanted revenge. Now that I had that, what was left? I wanted Boone and our quiet life at the junkyard, but Xavier’s speech kept coming back to me.

Other kids are going through the same shit.

I hated thinking about it. I hated knowing he was right even more. I wasn’t the only kid on the ward that was being carted into the back rooms to be raped. Even when it was happening, I knew. Harold would show up, unlock the room, and someone would eventually be collected to go for their special therapy.

I clenched my jaw, biting down on the cigarette as I remembered their faces, remembered the distant stare we’d all adopted, the way we all tensed whenever Harold showed up for work.

I knew it was happening to other kids and I hadn’t done anything to stop it. Maybe that was why I didn’t want to help now. It was easy to keep looking the other way, just as I had then. But it was wrong.

The door behind me opened and I glared at the guy who stepped through it. He was dressed in a hoodie and jeans. Shaggy red hair fell around his ears. He was a little older than me, but there was something oddly childlike about the way he gripped his arm and shied away at the sight of me.

I plucked the now bent cigarette from between my teeth and blew a mouthful of smoke at the sky. “You lost or somethin’?”

“No, I…” He cast a longing look back at the door before he straightened and cleared his throat. “I came out here to talk to you, actually.”

I eyed the timid little redhead. “Do I know you?”

“No. Not really.” He stuck his hand out. “I’m Theo. River’s fiancé.”

I stared at his hand but didn’t take it. Me and River weren’t exactly on the best of terms. “River’s here?”

“We drove down this morning. Lucky asked for us to be here. He thought we might be able to help.”

“Of course he did. He wants to get everybody together for a happy family reunion, right?” I rolled my eyes. “Did he tell you to come out here or was that River?”

Theo sighed and lowered his hand. “Neither. I haven’t actually seen Lucky yet and if River knew I was out here, he’d be pissed. He thinks you’re dangerous.”

“He’s right.” I turned my back to the man and leaned on the railing. “Go back to your nest, little bird. You don’t belong out here with me.”

He was quiet for a minute, but he didn’t run for the door like I thought he would. “Actually, we have some things in common. Maybe some things that are… difficult to talk about.”

I cast him a wary glance as he joined me by the railing. Everything about him screamed victim, but he didn’t come off as weak. Shy maybe, but on a second glance, he had a particular sort of strength that made him difficult to classify. In a weird way, he reminded me a little of Ragnar, though I couldn’t pinpoint exactly why.

Theo stared out at the city, the wind pushing through his messy red hair. “I was a sex slave until River found me. He freed me. I thought that would be the hard part, you know? Getting away from that life. But it wasn’t. The hardest part was grieving over the life I should’ve had. I used to think a lot about who I might’ve been if all that didn’t happen to me. I’d try to imagine it on nights like this. Where would I live? What would I do for a living? Who would my parents be and what would they be like? I’d even make up fake arguments we’d have in my head.” He chuckled, but his smile quickly faded as he turned to me. “The thing is, that version of Theo died. The people who hurt me killed him.”

“Did you kill them back?” I asked, hugging myself.

Theo nodded.

“Good.”

He was quiet for a few minutes. To my surprise, it was an easy silence. Though I didn’t know him, Theo obviously had the kind of presence that made the people around him relax. I liked having him there, near me. It was like he somehow understood how to calm the storm in my head just by being there.

“Xander said you didn’t want to help us take down the rest of the people involved,” he said eventually.

I shrugged. “I just want my life back. Why is it my responsibility to get involved in all this shit? I didn’t cause this. Besides, the last thing you need is crazy Xion fucking up the family dynamic all over again.”

“Is that what you think?” Theo scooted closer but was careful not to touch me. “Xion, nobody blames you for what happened.”

“Yes, they do,” I growled.

To his credit, he didn’t even flinch when I abruptly turned on him.

“I know what you all think of me. You all think I’m some rabid dog. Unpredictable and dangerous. But if I go in there, and get involved in this, I’m going to have to start talking about the shit that happened to me. Then you’ll all look at me with fucking pity. Like I’m broken. I don’t want to be the poor kid with the broken brain and the sad story. I don’t want to be a fucking victim, Theo! And that’s all anyone will ever see me as if they know everything.” I sucked on the filter of my cigarette before tossing it off the balcony. “I’d rather be a rabid dog than a wounded puppy.”

I started to walk away but froze when Theo shouted my name.

“Xion!”

I turned around to find him standing there with his eyes watering like I’d slapped him. “It’s one thing to be in pain and lash out, but to ignore the suffering of other people is cruel. You and me… We were lucky. We got out. What about the kids who never do? You think they deserve what’s happening to them?” He took a step closer and lowered his voice. “This isn’t a conversation about being a victim or a survivor. It’s not about you. I know that’s hard to see when the wounds are still fresh. But you can help. That’s all anyone is asking for. No one is going to push you to talk about your experience if you don’t want to.”

I stared at the closed door with a sigh. “I don’t know if I can work with War and Shepherd. I don’t know about Algerone and his people either.”

Theo nodded. “It’s fine not to know for sure, but are you open to attending a meeting we’re having in a few days? Xander and Xavier don’t want to bother you, but they both think your input would be invaluable. I agree. There needs to be someone there who understands what the victims of these monsters are going through. The rest of them don’t understand.”

I sighed, letting my shoulders slump. I had to hand it to Theo. He was persistent. “I’ll think about it.”

Theo’s smile lit up the whole balcony. “Thank you.”