Chapter Five

"Did you just say the Moirai came to visit you?"

"Yes." I reply as I toss back two aspirin. My phone lies atop my bed, the speakerphone enabled.

"Rhi, that's…" Zo's voice trails ominously.

I sigh. "Let me guess: unheard of?"

"Well, yeah. What did they want?"

My brain immediately warns me to keep my mouth shut, shouting all sorts of irrational demands:

Don't drag them into this.

Telling them might put them in danger.

Scarlett will tell Nick.

It's that last thought that has me hold my tongue. I could ask Zo not to tell Astrid or Scarlett, but then I'd be forcing everyone to keep secrets from one another, and that isn't fair of me .

Suddenly, Liv's face is in the forefront of my mind, and I can't decide if it's serving as encouragement or a warning.

"I don't have a Thread, Zo."

She sucks in a sharp breath. "Did I just hear you correctly?"

"Yes."

Silence follows, and then, "How is that possible? That's like not having a soul. There must be some mistake."

"Well," I clarify, clenching and unclenching the fingers of my right hand, "I actually do have a Thread, but apparently, it's hidden. Someone's cloaking it."

"What?!" she screams, and I'm grateful the speaker lies far from my ear. "Rhi, that's insane. I've never heard of someone being able to hide anything from the Moirai."

"They were certainly less than pleased about the whole situation."

"Ok, what do you need me to do?"

I should have known Zo would be readily willing to help. The smile that splits my mouth is a shock to my system. For months, most of my smiles have been forced, faked, and unearned. My chest floods with a warmth I haven't felt since right before we all went home for the summer - Scar, Astrid, Zo, B, and I .

I really miss my girls.

"Rhi?" Zo's voice brings me back to focus.

"Yeah, sorry," I say through a barely suppressed sniffle.

"What's wrong?"

The concern in her voice causes my heart to lurch. "Nothing. I…" I cover my mouth with my left hand, choking back a sob.

"The more you take, the more you leave behind."

Confusion usurps my heartache. "What?"

"A riddle, Rhi." Zo says gently. "Answer it."

I release a shaky breath. Zo always uses her riddles as a distraction, and they work. But before I can answer, another voice shouts: "Footsteps!"

"I wasn't talking to you," Zo chides.

It takes me a moment to place the voice. "B?"

The sound of scuffling permeates through the speaker, as though there is some sort of skirmish occurring on the other end, and then, "Yeah. Rhi? Have you been practicing?"

A chuckle bubbles from my throat. "Absolutely." I have, in fact, not picked up a foil since my fight with Leviathan. Even the thought of the thin blunted blade seizes me in a cold panic.

"You better not be lying to me, Rhi." B warns. "They canceled the fencing competition last year due to a Prince of Hell wreaking havoc on the auditorium, but you bet your ass it's going to happen this year. And we're going to win. "

I don't have the heart to tell her I won't be fencing this year, or probably doing much of anything other than going to class and barricading myself in my room.

"You got it, Drill Sergeant Bianca."

She snorts. "Ok, here's Zo."

"Rhi?" Zo's voice returns. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yeah, Zo. I'm fine. I had a hard night. Didn't really sleep much."

"Hm. True. You also never called any of us back yesterday when we called to wish you a ‘happy birthday.'"

I wince. My birthday was something I hadn't wanted to think about this year. Hadn't wanted to be reminded that I was another year older and spending it without Nick.

The Moirai didn't need to tell me that there would be no one else for me. I knew it the night he helped me in my drunken state and did nothing except make me comfortable in his bed. I knew it when we stood side by side at the Echidna Fountain, and he looked at me with such admiration, it must be how the moon looks at the sun. I knew it the night I kissed him softly after he told me to be nothing other than unapologetically myself. I knew it when he stared at me before the Eleusis party and told me I was beautiful, whispered softly, in reverence.

And gods , I knew it as my heart screamed and begged in anguish when my tongue forced that wretched lie through my teeth and I said the words: I don't love you.

"Sorry," I say, my chest tightening with thoughts of Nick and the fact that I ignored my friends, when now I want nothing more than for them to be by my side.

"Rhi, I'm going to ask one more time: are you sure you're okay?"

"She's definitely not okay." B chimes in with a not-so-subtle whisper.

I press my fingers against my eyes. "Yes, Zo. B. I'm fine," I say convincingly. "Zo, can you please use that quick fire brain of yours to see what you can find on Threads and how it's possible to cloak them?"

"You got it," she replies.

"Thank you. I'll call Astrid later and fill her in."

"What about Scar?" Zo asks.

I hesitate. There'd been a distance between Scar and I since my break-up with Nick. She didn't blame me or act volatile toward me for breaking her brother's heart - quite the contrary. I was the one that shut myself off, as I did with everyone.

"Astrid will probably tell Scar," I offer.

Zo lets out a defeated sigh. "Ok, Rhi. Talk to you later."

"Bye."

I stare blankly at the phone screen, my fingers itching to pick it up and call Zo back - just to hear her voice. The heavy void of loneliness settles like a boulder in my abdomen. B is with Zo. Scar and Astrid are no doubt together. I should be here with Nick.

Or Liv.

I lie down and curl into myself, burying my face in the pillow.

I awake to the sound of numerous, familiar voices and hysterical laughter.

The conversation in the foyer is muffled, having to travel up a flight of stairs, down the hall and past my closed bedroom door. But there's certainly a lot of people down there. A lot of people who appear to be making introductions, and excitement from my parents and -

Oh my gods.

A parade of feet echo up the stairs, thundering closer to my room. The door bursts open and Scar's face is the first one I see, her cheeks flushed and hazel eyes bright. She holds in her hand a container of cupcakes, a small gift bag dangling from her wrist.

"Happy Birthday, Rhi!" she squeals. Her excitement is tangible, and for the second time today, my lips curl without force.

Zo files in with B, and Astrid comes in behind them, smothered by a swarm of balloons.

There is a chorus of "happy birthday" followed by Astrid's "godsdamn these fucking balloons!" She swats them out of her way and releases the string so that they float to the ceiling.

I laugh so hard tears start to pour from eyelids, but these I welcome. Each of the girls wraps me in a hug, and after Astrid shockingly embraces me, I notice my mom hovering by the door.

"I'm going to order a few pizzas! Toppings?"

"Pepperoni," B answers at the same time Zo says "meatball," and they glare at each other.

"I'm fine with whatever," Astrid says.

Scar nods. "Me too."

Since my mother knows I always ask for extra cheese, I refrain from answering and settle my stare on my friends. "You're all here."

Zo grins. "Of course, we are."

"We've got you, Rhi." Scarlett's warm and comforting smile graces her lips as she recites Liv's words. Tears threaten to spill all over again.

"I know. I've got you, too."

We spend the evening gorging on pizza and cupcakes that Scar had custom made to each resemble a different chess piece on the icing.

As night blankets the sky, one by one, their eyes close. B is the first to fall asleep, then Astrid, followed by Zo. Finally, only Scar and I remain awake. She sits beside me on my bed, an awkward silence taking residence in the space between us.

"Rhi, I-" she begins, at the same time I say, "Scar, I'm sorry."

We both burst out laughing, then smother our giggles when Astrid grunts and B stirs.

Scar releases a heavy sigh before locking eyes with me. "I don't blame you for anything that happened between you and Nick, you know that right?"

I nod. Though a small part of me, deep within the trenches of my brain, was convinced she had.

"And I don't want to get in the middle of whatever does or does not happen between you and him. Because our friendship comes first."

I smile and reach for her hand, completely forgetting about the injury I sustained not even twenty-four hours ago. Scar gives me an affectionate squeeze, causing me to gasp and wrench my hand away, my face twisting in agony.

"Rhi!" she whispers fretfully. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," I force out, biting my tongue. I turn from her so she can't see the pain in my eyes and etched across every inch of my face.

Gentle hands come beneath my chin. "Look at me."

Hesitantly, I oblige, desperately holding back more tears. Her hazel eyes search my face. "What happened?"

I take a few deep breaths before answering, waiting for the piercing ache to subside before I finally meet her gaze.

"It was the Moirai, wasn't it?"

"Zo told you?" She nods, her silence prompting me to continue. "I made a bargain with them."

Scarlett's eyes widen. "What kind of bargain?"

I pull my bottom lip between my teeth. This was the part I feared. The part where I once again have to lie. I have no choice. I can't tell Scar the entire truth, because I can't bear the thought of her reaction when I tell her I'm the cause of her brother's death.

"I told them I would try to have the veil on my Thread removed, and reveal who was behind it."

"In exchange for?"

Shit. She didn't miss that. "In exchange for protecting you guys." A half-truth, really.

"Oh, Rhi." Scarlett shuts her eyes and shakes her head. "The Moirai are ancient. Older than the gods. They don't bargain. Whatever agreement they roped you into will end up entirely in their favor."

"I know," I whisper. But what choice did I have? If there is the slightest possible chance I can save Nick from his Fate, then I'll do whatever it takes, no matter the consequence.

"Please don't tell him," I beg.

Scarlett furrows her brows and parts her rosebud lips. "Rhi, it's not my place to tell him, and it's none of Nick's business unless you wish it to be."

I chuckle darkly, recalling the vicious glare he cast my way yesterday before his cutting words: I'm done here. "I'm sure he wouldn't care either way."

Confusion envelopes Scar's face before it melts into sadness. "He cares, Rhi. He always will."

I turn from her so she can't read my face as I think, so will I .

Rain greets us the next morning, so rather than stay cooped up in the house, Zo suggests a trip to the mall. The dismal weather matches my mood, and though I'm perfectly content to stay inside and wallow in my misery, the girls threaten injury if I don't join them.

My spirits lift as the day carries on, and we shuffle in and out of stores. We leave Victoria's Secret, laughing and discussing where to get lunch. I'm too busy joking with the girls that I don't notice someone approaching.

"Hey, Rhi," Jesse's comfortable, familiar voice caresses my ears.

I blink before I answer. "Hey, Jesse." The girls linger behind me, ceasing their chatter.

"You never texted me back yesterday."

Shit. "Sorry. I actually didn't sleep well the other night, so I spent most of yesterday sleeping, and then they came over." I gesture to the girls behind me.

This conversation feels so awkward, and I hate the guilt that pools in my abdomen. Rationally, I know it's unwarranted, but it makes itself home in my body nonetheless.

His light brown eyes find the Victoria's Secret bag. "Special occasion?"

I blush, waving my hand dismissively. "Just shopping. "

"It looks stunning on her," Zo interjects.

Jesse smiles tightly. "I have no doubt it does."

Despite his proclamation the other night that he wanted to watch a movie "as friends," the heated, sultry glint in his eyes is evidence he will always want something more. Something I now know for certain I can never give him.

There will never be anyone else.

Before I can speak, Jesse checks his watch. "Shit. I've got to run. Can I call you later?"

"Sure." The word flies out of my mouth before I can stop it.

Jesse smiles, hopeful, and I want to smack myself upside the head. He says a quick goodbye to the girls and walks past us.

They all crowd me. "Okay, who was that ?" Zo asks, wriggling her eyebrows.

I blink several times before I answer. "That was…Jesse. He was my friend, then my boyfriend, and now is my friend again." I think.

"Seems like he still wants to be more than friends," Astrid suggests.

I shrug. "Maybe. But I'm not interested."

We walk in silence toward the food court, until I hear B humming a tune. " Please don't sing that song," I say through gritted teeth .

The humming stops. But then I hear, " Jessie is a friend ," Zo sings.

" Yeah I know he's been a good friend of mine ," B continues.

"Please don't," I groan. "I'm begging you." This song was sung to me daily the entire year and a half that Jesse and I went out.

For a few moments, there is glorious silence. And then…

" And she's watching him with those eyes. " B and Zo sing loudly in unison. " And she's loving him with that body, I just know it. And he's holding her in arms late, late at night. "

I try to cover my ears, sprinting a few feet ahead.

But now, Astrid and Scar have joined in. " You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl! " They sing and laugh hysterically. " I wish that I had Jessie's girl! "

Despite feeling cold and empty these last few months, a smile creeps along my face, and laugher bubbles inside my chest. I face the girls, fixing them with a false glower; they immediately stop.

But I can't contain it. " Where can I find a woman like that?"

We laugh and sing all the way to the food court, and for the first time since I've been home for the summer, a familiar but long absent feeling spreads warmly through my chest: happiness.