20. Bree

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How couldI be so dumb? So blind.

My dad will come any moment now. I just know it. I just hope Declan and Patrick aren't back by then.

And I'm not sure what I'll do when he comes. I don't want to live with a monster, but I don't want him to take his revenge on the Burkes. I can't be the reason they are hurt. Or worse.

God. It crushes me just thinking about something happening to anyone in this family, but especially Declan. Because I don't think I can deny for much longer that I love him.

Men yelling and a commotion make me run downstairs.

Is this my father coming now? Oh, lord, please no.

As my eyes land on the front door, I freeze in my steps, and my heart stops in my chest as soon as see him.

Declan.

He is being carried inside and he is leaving a trail of blood behind him.

No.

No, no, no, no, no.

This is all my fault.

He is not moving. Why is he not moving? He can't be dead, can he?

My feet start moving of their own accord and a keen sound surrounds me before I realize it's me. I'm screaming, my heart shattering as I go because I did this.

I killed Declan.

He still hasn't wokenup.

The family doctor has come and gone after working hard to save his life.

He's in our bed, resting, and I refuse to leave his side, as do his father and brother.

His eyes flutter open and he croaks out, "What happened?"

Tears start running down my face. Thank god he is awake. But how can I look him in the eye, knowing I caused this to the man I love?

"You got shot, boyo." Patrick helps him sit up. "Doc was able to take the bullet out and fix you up. It was a close call for a second there."

Declan winces when he adjusts his position and I want to rush to him, but I'm the one who did this to him, so do I even deserve to be here?

"Sorry." He looks at his hand on his lap since the other is closely wrapped around his chest to prevent movement.

Patrick frowns. "Sorry for what, son? You were right in the line of fire."

"Who was it?" Declan looks up at his dad. He is ready to take on the world, even if he was just in death's door.

"Callum Murphy."

My breath leaves me. I knew I was responsible for this, but hearing the confirmation just about destroys me.

My father really is a monster. He could have chosen to save me, to come get me. Instead, he used my information to try and kill these people.

And I share his blood. I did this. I'm just as much of a monster as him.

"Niall's cousin," Declan's shocked voice pulls me out of my head. "How the hell would the Murphys know we were there?"

Patrick shrugs. "Probably came to steal another one of our shipments."

Declan frowns, and I want the earth to swallow me whole.

His eyes find me, and his face softens. "Hey, it's okay. I'm all right, princess."

I sniffle, rubbing at my eyes with the back of my hand.

"I'm sorry," I blurt out. Because I am. So sorry. I could die for him, and he almost died because of me.

He frowns. "What are you sorry for? You were the one shooting at me."

"I… I…" I can't tell them what I did. They'll kill me. And though I may deserve it, I need to make sure he recovers fully. "It's my family's fault. So, I feel the need to apologize for them." I hate myself.

He smiles. "You're a Burke now, so no apologizing needed."

Patrick kisses Declan on the forehead. "I'll leave you two alone. You need to rest, boyo. So, make sure you do."

He lays a hand on my shoulder and squeezes before he leaves.

Does he know?

Oh god. What will happen if they ever find out the truth?

I haven't leftDeclan's side over the past couple of weeks. He is almost back to normal but still tender in places.

I'm kneeling by him as he looks down at me. God, I want him. I miss his body so much!

These weeks have been good for us to get to know each other a bit better, but we haven't had sex in weeks.

"Bree," he starts, and his voice comes out hoarse.

I look up at him with hungry eyes and put my hands on his thighs.

"Let me take care of you," I murmur, and raise my hands to his belt buckle.

He lets out a long, shaking breath. "Thought you'd never ask."

I smile, hungry as I look at Declan, as he strains against his slacks. I've removed his shirt in order to see if the wound still needs any dressing. It doesn't.

And now he's sitting there shirtless, his abdomen rock hard.

I touch him there, and he trembles, grinning down at me.

"Don't tease," he groans, and I grin back.

"Wouldn't dream of it."

I unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants, reaching inside to free him from the fabric, and he bounces forth, long and thick. I think about how heavy he'd feel in my mouth.

My mouth starts to water.

I pump him slowly to be sure he's at full mast, and Declan lets out a low growl. He puts his hand on my head, gathering my hair into a ponytail and yanking it so I look at him.

"I said, don't tease," he warns.

I lick my lips, feeling the delicious sting as he tugs my hair. Pleasure shoots through me.

Finally, he releases me, and I slowly take him into my mouth, not teasing but wanting to do a good job.

He's big, after all, and I'm probably going to gag.

He chokes out a moan when I dip my head and take him in further, nearly choking but managing only to gag a little, tears streaming down my face.

He rolls his hips up, fucking my throat, and I let him, putting my hands on his thighs for purchase.

"Oh, fuck," he manages. "You look so pretty with your mouth full of my cock."

Pleasure settles in my lower abdomen, and I take him deeper, bobbing my head up and down, letting my saliva coat him and make the glide easier.

His breath starts to hitch after just a few strokes, and he yanks at my hair again, pulling me off him with a popping sound.

I pout. "You taste so good."

"Want to come inside you," he mutters, still holding my hair. "Hands and knees."

I can't comply fast enough.

He bunches my dress around my hips as I face away from him, lowering my panties to my ankles.

This is going to be rough and dirty, and I, for one, love it. I need something to take my mind off my guilt, my feelings for him, this mess with my father, and this is the perfect distraction.

I stop thinking when Declan rams inside me, no hesitation, and at first, it's a tight stretch but I'm already wet just from sucking him off.

He slides in and out of me, grunting, rough and with no rhythm, but I'm reaching an orgasm quickly.

"God," I cry. "I'm going to come, Declan, please, faster. Harder."

He does exactly what I say, fucking me hard and fast and when I drop my head to my folded hands, he grabs my hair again, yanking. The pinch mixed with the pleasure he's giving me makes my eyes roll back in my head.

"Want you loud for me. Let the world know who's fucking you this good."

"Oh, god," I gasp. "You are, Declan. Declan!" I yell his name when I start to come, and he groans, dropping my hair and taking hold of my hips to brutally thrust into me.

God, I love it when he's like this, when he's rough and fast and dirty, and I cry out when I start to come again.

He stills inside of me when he comes, and I don't want him to pull out.

I thrust back against him, and he chuckles.

"Not done yet, princess?"

"Want to come again," I whimper. "Just one more, Declan, please."

Declan huffs out a breath.

"Greedy, slutty baby," he croons, and his words make my stomach clench with need.

"Only for you," I tell him, rocking my hips back against him as he starts to move again.

Declan reaches around us to finger my clit, and I come again almost immediately, stars appearing behind my eyes.

He slowly pulls out of me, and I whine, collapsing on the floor.

He chuckles. "Look at you."

I roll over, hiding my face in my hands, but he takes them away.

"You look gorgeous all fucked out," he whispers, and I moan softly as the aftershocks of my orgasms rush through me.

"Let's go take a shower," he suggests, smiling softly and helping me up.

I stumble on shaky legs, but we manage to make our way to the bedroom and then the shower.

I pull the dress off, feeling sore in the most delicious way, but for some reason, I'm almost embarrassed.

I've had some hot sex with Declan, but I've never been that wanton about wanting it.

He doesn't seem ashamed or disgusted, though, smiling and helping me wash my hair as his half-erection bounces against my hip.

Soon, he's taking me again in the shower, bending me over in front of him and holding one leg up on his good side.

I come another time before he's finished, and he kisses along the back of my neck, showering me off again.

"I'd be able to hate you a lot more if the sex wasn't so good," I tell him after we're out of the shower and he's brushing my hair.

It's become sort of a tradition for us, the hair brushing. It makes me feel safe and loved in a way I've never felt, so I don't complain.

Declan snorts out a laugh. "Ain't that the truth."

It dawns on me when he sets the brush down and plops down in bed, his hair falling over his blue eyes as he watches me fondly.

I really am in love with him.

It's not just that I'm falling or that I'm developing feelings—I"ve actually fallen in love with him. And it's not Stockholm syndrome like I thought before, it can't be. It's more like... he saved me. He saved me from a monster I didn't even know was imprisoning me.

Declan is my knight in shining armor and for the longest time, I thought he was my warden.

I swallow hard.

I can't be in love with a man who would probably be disgusted I felt this way. He must hate me for who I am, for having my father's blood, even though he'd said that he didn't.

How could he be happy married to the daughter of his mother's killer? And worse. Now I've betrayed him. Sicced my father on him, even if that was never my intention.

What am I going to do? It's not like I can come clean, because God knows what Patrick would do to me. I've become the enemy just by virtue of wanting to get out.

I don't know what to do. I don't know how to handle this.