34. Paige

34

PAIGE

Declan paces around the gym while I glare at him. He's come back after physically throwing Kael out, presumably to talk to me.

I'm furious, but also a little afraid. He attacked Kael so brutally.

"You didn't have to hurt him."

He whirls around to face me. "I should have hurt him more. Better yet, kill him," he growls. "What the hell were you two thinking , Paige? He's supposed to be your bodyguard. Your protector."

"He can protect me just fine." I stand up to my full height, which is still half my brother's height, or at least that's what it feels like.

I tilt my chin up fiercely. I know I don't cut an intimidating figure, but I'm trying to look as tough as possible. "I can take care of myself . Kael was teaching me self-defense."

"With his tongue down your throat?"

I sigh heavily. "Why does that matter, Declan? It didn't affect his job. It didn't affect my safety. My body, my lips. My choice."

"Oh, he was after more than your lips," Declan insists, still pacing. "How could you even think about kissing at a time like this? Da's between this life and the next, and you're making out with your bodyguard?"

"And why is it that you can kiss whoever you want, but I can't? Why is it that it's wrong for me to kiss someone because Da's in a bad place, but you can? You would know about falling in love with the wrong person, wouldn't you? You have everything, Declan. Why is it so bad that I want the same too?"

Declan goes pale. "Don't compare this to me and Bree."

"Why not? Because it seems to me like you falling in love with Bree is a lot more problematic than me falling for Kael."

His eyes almost bug out of his face. "You've fallen for him?"

My face starts burning up. "I didn't say that."

He lets out a sigh of relief. "At least there's that. I know you want your happily ever after, Bree, but this isn't the way to go about it."

"Oh, we get to choose who we fall for? That's news to me."

I don't like the way he's talking.

What does he mean, like that makes it better? Like Kael is just a fling, a nobody?

Kael means something to me, he means a lot, in fact, but that's something I haven't even told him, much less Declan.

"Why not? Why not Kael?" I demand to know.

"He's not the right guy, Paige."

"Why do you get to decide that? You're not my father."

"Don't bring up Da right now," Declan growls. "You think he'd be happy that you're kissing Kael Sullivan, the man we paid to keep you safe? He's taking advantage of you, Paige."

"No, he's not!" I take a deep, shaking breath. "I went after him, Declan?—"

"Spare me the details."

I don't know what to do.

Declan calls over Gray, letting me go down to the kitchen, and their voices are risen and angry in the living room.

I press my face against the wall to try and make sense of what they are saying.

"She did what?" Gray breathes.

"Yeah. I came in to find them all over each other."

"Kael? Kael Sullivan? The guy who always pays for it? Kissing Paige ?" Gray mock gags, and I roll my eyes, wanting to stalk in there and tell him he's an idiot.

What, am I just some kind of bag of potatoes to them? Someone that can't make decisions and needs to constantly be protected? It's like I'm eighteen months old.

I don't even think Da would be upset about me and Kael. He'd let me make my own choices.

"What the hell's going on around here?" Gray demands to know, walking into the kitchen, and I stand up straight, not wanting them to know that was listening.

"Nothing." I look right up at Gray. "Or rather, it's none of your bloody business."

"You're our baby sister. Of course, it's our bloody business," Gray hisses, and I take a step toward him.

Declan steps between us. "What, are you going to hit him?"

"I'm twenty-seven years old, not twenty-seven months," I shoot back. "I can make my own decisions about who I kiss and who I don't kiss. "

"It's all coming together," Gray says from the background, and I sure am tired of the peanut gallery. This should be between me and Kael, not me, Kael, and my brothers. "Maybe that's why you almost got taken. Kael was distracted."

"He helped a lot that day," Declan says seriously. "Don't accuse him of something when you don't know the whole story."

"It's not like either of them are going to tell us the whole story."

"I'll tell you nothing because like I said, this is none of your business. Besides, it's not like either of you did any better when I was attacked the first time. At least he taught me to defend myself."

Gray shakes his head. "Low blow, sis."

"Low blow? Low blow is both of you sitting there, tag-teaming me, trying to dictate who I can and can't kiss."

"It's fucking irresponsible, Paige!" Declan bursts out.

I flinch slightly.

He hasn't been prone to outbursts like this since he and Bree got together. "You should have been focused on staying safe, not on dilly dallying with my best friend. How long has this been going on, anyway?"

"Not that long."

My heart squeezes. This is all my fault. Still the same useless, selfish brat. Except now, the consequences of my actions fell on someone else. Someone innocent.

I wasn't trying to get Kael caught. I wasn't trying to get him kicked out of the family.

Declan will calm down, right? Surely, he'll let him back in after things calm down. He has to.

"Don't interrogate her." Gray turns on Declan. "Kael's older than her. He was in a position of authority. He took advantage of her."

"Stop talking about me like I'm not here, Gray!" I stomp my foot. Damn, I need to stop doing that. "I can do what I want with my body, and you two can't police that."

"Like hell we can't," Declan says. "Things are going to change around here. I'm stationing Jeremy Meyers and Aiden O'Connell here."

"I don't know who they are."

"That's the point." Declan furrows his brows. "You won't go around kissing men you don't know, will you?"

"She might." Gray chuckles, and I swear, I'm going to hit him.

But Declan holds me back, and I huff, sitting down in a chair at the kitchen table.

There's nothing I can do about this.

Gray and Declan are going to do whatever it is they want to do, which includes getting all in my business.

I wish I was at least back in my own place. Now I'm stuck at my childhood home.

I want to go back to my place. I don't want to stay here anymore. But I can just tell that piece of news will not go down well right now, so I'll just let them cool down, and then I'll lay down the law.

I'm an adult woman, and I will live my life without having to be under my stubborn brothers' thumbs.

God, I need to vent so bad. Where are Lara and Bree, anyway? All I can hope is that they come home soon.

I cross my arms over my chest and stare up at Declan. "Are you going to keep lecturing me?"

Declan scoffs. "Do you need me to?"

"I'm an adult, Declan. You can't really think I'll let you command my life, can you? "

"We'll see." He storms out, and Gray stands there for a long moment, looking at me.

I keep my face frowning and won't speak to him, so he finally trails out of the room.

I raid the fridge, grabbing myself a bottle of water and some celery and peanut butter, wanting something to snack on.

I sit down at the little breakfast nook in the kitchen and eat.

What the hell am I supposed to do now? I need to talk to someone.

I pull my phone from my pocket and dial Sophie's number. It rings all the way to voicemail. I try Tanya next, then Catalina. Nothing.

I just want someone to understand me. I need a friend… No, I need Da.

All of a sudden, a need to be with Da, to touch him, to make sure he is okay overwhelms me.

Remembering my conversation with Kael, that I might not get a chance to talk to Da again, I head to the front door where Aiden is stationed.

"Aiden, I'm going to the hospital to see my dad, will you prefer driving me, or following me in your car?"

He frowns at me. "I'm sorry, Miss Paige, but Mr. Gray and Mr. Declan requested us not to exit the property."

I shrug, "Oh. No problem, I'll just drive myself."

Aiden's arm stops me in my tracks as it blocks my way. "I don't think you understood me, Miss."

I frown at him.

He lowers his arm and moves as if to guide me back inside the mansion. "Mr. Gray and Mr. Declan gave very specific instructions that you not leave the premises, so we are to stay put as well, watching you. "

What the hell?

"No, Aiden, that can't be right. Look, I don't want to go to the mall, or whatever else, I want to go to the hospital to visit my father." The same father who's fighting for his life. And I have to see him. Now.

"I'm sorry, Miss, but I only follow orders, and my orders are to keep you in the property."

I really need someone to help me process all this, and Declan and Gray are certainly no help. I want my da, even if he's still not awake.

I need to see him. He's the only person in our family who has ever truly understood me. He always says that Lara is the most like Ma, and I'm the most like him.

He gets me, and I need to talk to him, even if he can't talk back.

And what if I never get the chance to talk to him again? What if these are his last days?

Panic starts to rise in me, tightening my chest.

Angry tears burn at the backs of my eyes, but I don't let them fall.

What am I going to do?

I can't sneak out, not without telling someone I'm going or someone to go with me. I may be desperate, but I'm not dumb yet. I know I need help, protection.

Even if I decided to sneak out, what would I do? I can't very well use Uber, it's not safe for me or the poor driver. And it's not like I can walk there. All Saints is too far away, nearly a half-hour drive from the house.

Staying here, surrounded by all the memories, all the moments with Da makes me ache. I just want to go back. I've complained so much about my life, but it's been such a good one. I've been so taken care of. So loved. All of my life.

I puff my chest.

I will go see Da, with or without Lug and Lugger at the door.

Who else do I trust to get me there?

There's only one person that I trust.

Taking the phone in my hand again, I take a deep breath.

Will he even pick up the phone?