29. Paige

29

PAIGE

My da's smiling at me, holding a cheesecake slice up for me.

I smile back and reach out.

My arm is yanked back, pulling me toward the exit.

My da's still smiling, but his chest is getting redder and redder.

Is he bleeding?

A hand grabs my hair and pulls, hard, tugging me as I kick and scream on the floor.

Gunshots are everywhere, making my ears ring.

Everything around me is in slow motion.

I keep kicking and yelling, but I can't seem to get away.

It's like I'm moving through glue or molasses, and then another gunshot rings out, louder than the rest, and I'm standing in front of my father's body laying out on the floor in a pool of blood.

I scream and kneel down, putting my face next to his to try and feel his breath.

There's nothing.

He's gone, bled out on the restaurant floor.

I place my face on his chest, crying, but my hair is yanked back and someone's taking me again, dragging me while I scream out for my father.

I wake up with a start, and Kael has once again, stolen all the covers. I'm surprised he didn't sneak back to his own room after what happened last night.

I'd just needed to be with him, needed to feel real, needed to feel alive .

I've been in a fog ever since that night at Natalia's, and I'm grateful to Kael for making me feel better. Or feel anything at all other than sheer misery.

But that's all it is, right? Him making me feel better? He wants my body, sure, but like Lara said, I'm not in love. He certainly isn't, despite the way he looked at me last night, the way he kissed me, the way he said my name so reverently.

I can't start thinking that Kael may have feelings for me. That's insane. And besides, I definitely don't have feelings for him.

I don't, other than lust. Right?

I get up and cinch on a robe, closing the door behind me so no one sees Kael in my bed.

I creep downstairs, and it's crazy early in the morning, but I have the number to Da's ICU nurse, Becca, who told me I can call at any time.

I pull my phone out of my robe pocket and call her.

"Becca with All Saints, how can I help you?"

"I was calling to check on my father? Room four-oh-three, James Smith."

"Are you Paige or Lara?"

I smile. "Paige."

"Nice to talk to you, Paige. I have to be honest, there's no real change. He's still on the ventilator, and the doctor hasn't been by yet to talk about the next steps."

"Thank you, Becca."

"Anytime."

I hang up, letting out a long breath.

It might be a good thing that there's not been a change for the worst, but I want to get to the hospital before the doctor gets there.

Declan will be relieving Lara this morning, so maybe I can ride there with him and back with her.

I pad into the kitchen, and Marisol is making breakfast.

"Don't mind me. I'm just getting a banana, gotta go to the hospital."

She bites her lip. "Any change?"

"Not yet." I put my hand on her shoulder. "I promise that you'll know as soon as I know."

"Thank you, Paige," she whispers, and I smile at her.

I know that she has feelings for my father—a blind man could see that. And I know it's hard for her not to ask every day about how he's doing. So, I plan to keep her updated. After all, I've been hoping her and Da get together for years.

I grab a banana and peel it, eating it quickly, waiting for Declan to come downstairs. Eventually, he does, around seven, and I've been up since around five. I should be tired, but I feel oddly energetic.

"What are you doing up so early?" He grabs himself an orange from the kitchen and returns to the dining room.

"Couldn't sleep," I mutter, not wanting to tell him about the nightmare. I'd thought the nightmares resulting from the attack were bad, but this was next level. "I wanted to be there when the doctor sees Da. In the waiting room, at least."

Declan nods. "I'll give you a ride. "

"Should I wake Kael?" I hope he says no.

As much as I love being around Kael sometimes, right now that's not what I need. After last night, I feel somewhat awkward being around him. Besides, I need to focus on family. And I can't focus on anything but him when he's around.

He shakes his head. "I'll be with you. Let him sleep."

I let out a relieved breath, and Declan raises an eyebrow.

"Don't tell me the two of you still aren't getting along?"

"We get along fine."

"Doesn't really seem like it. You two are always sniping at each other."

"It's just our vibe." I shrug before running upstairs to get dressed.

I'm halfway through putting on my jeans, jumping to get them over my ample butt, when Kael clears his throat.

I turn, still topless and with my jeans only half-buttoned.

My heart races. I'd almost forgotten he was sleeping in here.

"Gotta go to the hospital," I tell him. "The doctor is coming by, and I want to talk to him."

Kael nods, standing up and slipping on a pair of gray sweats. I try my best not to look at his pecs, his abdomen. "I'll go with you."

"No need," I blurt out. "I'm riding with Declan."

Kael frowns. "It's my job to watch out for you."

"Maybe so, but you also need a break. You have been stuck with for too long. Declan can protect me."

Kael continues to frown, but he leaves the room, picking up his shirt on the way out .

I let out a long breath and finish getting dressed, putting on a bra and a T-shirt over my jeans.

At the hospital, I call Lara to tell her that Declan is here to relieve her. She sounds exhausted.

"I thought you took the last shift."

"I did. I'm only staying long enough to talk to the doctor. Declan will take over for you, though. Come out to the waiting room."

Lara meets us, and Declan pulls her into a hug.

"You look like shit," he states, and Lara barks out a laugh.

"Gee, thanks," she drawls, and puts an arm around my shoulders. "I want to stay and talk to the doc, too, but I need something to eat. Want to come down to the cafeteria with me, Paige?"

"Sure." I follow her downstairs, picking out a short stack of pancakes and some scrambled eggs with cheese while she gets a Denver omelet.

We hurry to eat and get back up to the waiting room, and when we walk in, there's a doctor looking around.

"Smith family?"

"We're here." We rush to him. "What's the news?"

The doctor takes us to a smaller room to speak with us privately, and my heart slams against my chest.

Is this bad news? What does this mean?

"I'm recommending against taking your father off the ventilator just yet. His heart is still beating irregularly after the surgery, and it doesn't bode well for his healing."

"What else can be done?" I bite my lip.

He spreads his hands. "We can wait, or we can put him on an ECMO machine that will do the pumping of his heart for him." He pauses. "I do have to tell you, though, that he only has a fifty percent chance of coming off that machine."

Lara's hand flies to her mouth. "Fifty percent? But that's only half?—"

"I know. But I'm afraid it might be our only shot at keeping him alive."

Tears burn in my eyes, and I wish Declan and Gray were here.

"I've already given your brother the news. I'd like you to talk about it as a family and decide if you'd like to wait or try ECMO."

I nod and when the doctor leaves the room, Lara draws me into her arms.

"This is so hard," she whispers. "Da's always been so healthy."

I swallow back tears. "I know. I don't know what to do."

"We'll talk about it at dinner. Like a family."

I nod and when I go back out into the waiting room, Kael is there.

Lara raises an eyebrow at me, and I elbow her.

"What are you doing here? I said I'd be safe with Declan."

"Well, Declan's staying all day, and you need a ride home. You need to get some rest before your next shift." He looks at Lara. "And besides, I know Lara must be tired."

"Exhausted." She loops her arm through his. "Take me home, Sullivan."

Kael laughs, and I follow them out to the car, getting in the backseat. Lara, to her credit, doesn't say anything or tease me on the way home, which is good because I don't want Kael to know that she knows.

He probably wants to keep this as quiet as possible. I do, too. Even if only because I have no idea what Declan would do if he knew I slept with his best friend, my bodyguard.