26. Kael

26

KAEL

The doctor comes out, his face too closed to be good news. "Smith family?"

At the alias used by Patrick, all the Burkes stand up as one. A united front.

The doctor tries to look at them all, but eventually settles on Gray as his main target for delivering the news. "Mr. Smith is out of surgery."

The family surrounds him.

"He had extreme damage in the top lobe of his left lung, and the bullet nicked his heart. We were able to fix most of it."

Gray frowns. "What does that mean, is he going to be okay?"

"The prognosis is reserved at the moment. That means, it's not over yet. There's a big fight ahead, and we need Mr. Smith to do his part, since we have already done ours and will continue to do anything we can to make sure he has the best fighting chance."

Declan looks at Gray, then at the doctor. "When will we know for sure? How long until he's safe? "

The doctor shakes his head. "I wish I could have an answer for you, but I don't. For now, all I can tell you is that it will be an uphill battle that will be fought in increments of minutes, one hour at a time. The first seventy-two hours are crucial, so he'll be watched twenty-four seven. After that, if he makes it, it will be up to him when he wants to wake up."

"So, we just wait and see? There's nothing more we can do? We can pay you, a lot. Please."

The doctor holds up his hands in front of him, palms out. "I wish I could say money was a game-changer, but even if it was, this is my job and not about who pays more, I'm afraid. We're doing the best we can, but it's touch and go. It's mostly up to him now."

"Can we see him?" Lara asks in a shaky voice.

"One of you can. He's on his way to the ICU, and I can take one of you back with me to see him. He needs to rest and heal."

"But he'll be okay, right? If he fights?" Gray asks, and the doctor looks at him with a serious expression.

"Like I said, it's up to him. We need to hope he wants this as bad as we do."

Declan swallows hard. "I'll go back."

Paige hasn't said a word, just standing there, nearly swaying on her feet.

I grab her around the waist, pulling her to sit down in one of the chairs, and she presses her face into my chest, a sob hitching out of her.

I kiss her temple, watching as Declan follows the doctor, and Lara and Bree sit together, holding each other. Gray just keeps pacing around the room in a loop, unable to slow down. It'll probably hit him harder when he does.

Paige's shaking as I hold her, and I rub her bare arms .

I lower my mouth closer to her ear. "Maybe we should go home."

She stiffens in my arms. "I'm not leaving him. I'm not ever going to leave him."

"I'm not telling you too." I keep caressing her bare skin. "Look. Your brothers and sister will be here. He won't be alone. But we need to get you home and cleaned up."

"But what if he wakes up?"

My heart squeezes in my chest. "Sweetheart, you heard the doctor, right? You know he won't be waking up tonight or even tomorrow, most likely. But we'll ask Gray and Lara to call us immediately in anything changes. Okay? And we can come right back if you want. Just please, let's get you home for a bit."

Her body sags against mine. She doesn't speak, just nods slowly, and she says her goodbyes to her family, promising to be back as soon as possible. Everyone seems to understand.

Gray grasps my shoulder as we're walking out, and I turn to him.

"Watch her like a hawk."

I nod. If there's something Gray can be sure of is that.

I learned a hard lesson tonight. A lesson that brought to a very bright light a truth that I allowed myself to forget.

Getting attached to a woman is disaster waiting to happen. Your head is in all places except where it should be and look where that got us tonight.

No, I'm very invested in protecting Paige. But whatever else could've been brewing between us, whatever misguided fantasies I allowed myself to have for a split second, came crashing down. Crushing my reality.

So, I need to let go of her, of what I feel when I'm around her. I have a job to do, and I will not fail again .

Which means, it'll be a long time before Paige gets out of my sight again, even if I can never touch her again.

On the drive home, Paige doesn't speak, just leaning her head against the window and looking out, and when we arrive home, she just stands in the middle of the room like she doesn't know what to do.

I approach her, touching her lightly on the shoulder. When she doesn't react. I sigh.

"Come on, sweetheart. Let's get you showered." I scoop her up bridal-style into my arms, taking her up the stairs to the master bathroom.

After setting her down in the middle of the bathroom, I run the water hot but not too hot, not wanting to burn her soft, pale skin.

When I'm done, and she hasn't moved yet, I go to her.

"Here, let me, okay?"

I undress her slowly, throwing each item into the corner. These are not salvageable, and she doesn't need to look at them ever again, so I'll dispose of them right after I get her in that shower and clean her off.

Paige looks down at her naked body, and everything seems to be hitting her. She starts to rub at the blood on her skin, her father's blood, most likely trying to it clean off, to clean off the horrors of the night that are catching up to her.

Her body starts shaking all over, as if she has no control over it. Her movements to get the blood off her get frantic as she starts whimpering.

"Come on, princess, let me help you with that."

I get her under the water, uncaring that I'm getting soaked by the shower's spray. And as I wash her hair, soaping up her body, there is no urge in me to touch her inappropriately, to do anything other than taking care of her, making sure she's safe, she's no longer hurting .

I have never been in this position before, where I have a very beautiful, very naked woman before me and have no desire whatsoever to take her. It worries me that maybe my feelings for Paige are even deeper than I already suspected.

This need to protect her, to see her happy, safe, is so much stronger than I ever knew possible.

I already knew I was in trouble. This just brings it closer to home. And it's unfortunate because even if I decided to ignore my previous resolve to stay away from women, she could never be the one woman for me.

And now that this happened, my resolve is stronger than ever.

Tears stream down her face as she stands in the shower and lets me wash her, and I'm afraid she might never speak again. Has Paige finally found her breaking point?

Have I broken her?

After washing her twice and making sure the water's running clean off her body, instead of the pink it was when we started, I get her out and start toweling her off.

"Kael?" Her voice is small and weak.

"Hmm?"

"Will you stay with me? Hold me for just a while?"

I look down at her, my heart aching.

I shouldn't, I know that. I'm already in too deep with her.

But there's no way I can say no to her. Not here, not now. And deep down, I fear not ever. "Of course, I will, princess."

She sways toward me, and I dry off her hair, tossing the towel and putting a robe around her, cinching it tightly.

I undress down to my boxers, my clothes wet, and I slide into bed as she crawls in.

She turns on her side, and I throw an arm around her waist, pulling her close to me, needing her warmth to make sure she's really here, really safe.

"Do you think he'll die?" Her voice is barely above a breath.

"Nah." I tighten my arm around her. "Patrick's too stubborn to die."

She lets out an almost-hysterical giggle and snuggles more tightly against me.

I wrap her in my arms, wanting her closer, and she hums.

I kiss the crown of her head. "Try and get some rest, okay? When you wake up, we'll go back to the hospital, check on your da."

"Thank you, Kael,"

"There's nothing to thank me for." In fact, if I were man enough, I'd be apologizing to you. To all of you.

"There is. You taught me how to defend myself, and they didn't get me."

I didn't fail at that, at least. And I'm glad that she was able to use her self-defense skills to get away, but I know it should've been me saving her, not her saving herself, and that just about wrecks me.

"Goodnight, Paige," I whisper, and she's already softly snoring, her arms wrapped around her pillow.

I watch her sleep for a long time, knowing that when this night is over, I will do the right thing. I will be firmer in my resolve.

I will protect her, but I'll stay away from her. For good, this time.