Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

IZZY

I freeze when I step out of the bathroom. All of my mates are waiting for us in what I assume is Luca's room. His room has dark wood floors and mossy green walls. Luca's massive bed, desk, nightstands, and bench at the foot of his bed are all mahogany. Breaking up all the dark wood is his sage comforter, light tan sofa, and the nature paintings hanging on the walls.

Before I have a chance to ask Luca about the beautiful paintings, Archer comes bounding over. He stops just short of crashing into me. "Can I hug you?" At my nod, he wraps his arms around me and squeezes tight. Anywhere his skin comes into contact with mine lights up like a firework. The mate bond jumps and dances over my skin. "Don't ever do that again, sunshine. I was so worried when we found you."

"I'm sorry, sunny boy," I murmur against his chest. I hate the way the normally happy wolf's voice wobbles. It feels like bringing people down is all I do. Archer doesn't say anything more. He just holds on to me for a moment longer before stepping back.

In his place is Bishop. Instead of greeting me with his usual easygoing smile, Bishop is glaring down at me. "Did you do it on purpose?"

"What?"

Bishop leans down until we're nose to nose. "Did you heal too many ghosts on purpose?" I've never seen Bishop this angry, and it makes my heart hurt. I feel like I've failed him and disappointed the one person who's always there for me. I just want my Bishop back.

Seeing how furious he is with me makes me feel like I'm going to cry. Somehow, I manage to shove the feelings down. "No," I whisper while looking away. I don't need him to see in my eyes that I've considered it before.

Bishop captures my chin with his thumb and finger and turns my head toward him, forcing me to meet his gaze. "But you've thought about it, haven't you?" I close my eyes, so I don't have to look at him. I'm not strong enough right now to see hatred in his gaze. "Fucking answer me!"

At his roar, my eyes pop open. "Yes," I breathe.

"Goddamn it, Isabel!" he shouts. He lets go of my face like I burned him. Bishop opens his mouth to yell at me some more before snapping it closed. All at once, every emotion drains from his face. He stares at me with the same empty eyes from my nightmares. "I can't fucking do this with you right now."

After his declaration in the coldest voice I've ever heard from him before, Bishop turns around and storms out. He doesn't spare me a glance before he leaves, probably for good. I know I should feel relief about Bishop giving up on me. I've been trying to push him away since my parents told me we were mates when I was fourteen.

But I don't feel even a hint of relief. All I feel is someone shoving a hot knife into my chest. With each searing stab of the blade, my heart is split, and I wonder how it's even still beating in my chest. Looking down, I almost expect to see a bloody wound, but there's nothing. There's not even a single outward display of the how utterly and completely destroyed I feel inside.

"Hey," someone says in front of me. I robotically lift my gaze from the floor to look at Cain. Whatever he sees on my face has his forehead wrinkling in concern. He holds out a gray sweatshirt for me. When I just blink at it, Cain sighs. "Arms up, angel."

I do as he says without protest, which just makes the lines in his forehead more pronounced. It's hard to be snarky when I'm desperately trying not to drown in my despair.

Cain carefully slips the sweatshirt onto my arms and over my head.

Once the sweatshirt is on, I lower my arms. I don't have the strength to hold them up any longer. I'm usually weaker for half a day after healing ghosts. When I use up all of my magic, I can be sore for up to a week after.

Cain gently untucks my hair from the collar of the warm top. I was getting pretty chilly in my ghost healer outfit of a sports bra and shorts. From the dark forest scent, I know the sweatshirt is Luca's. That explains why it comes down to mid-thigh on me.

He then kneels and holds out my white Chucks for me. I mechanically lift each foot, and he slips them on, not bothering to tie them. "Can I pick you up?" Cain asks softly.

A fizzle of surprise at his question breaks through the pain trying to choke me. Cain isn't as physically affectionate as the other wolves, so I didn't expect him to want to pick me up. When I nod my head, Cain places his large hands on my waist to hoist me up. I wind my arms around his neck and wrap my legs around his narrow waist.

"Can I take you somewhere?" Cain rasps. Since my head is on his shoulder, his warm breath tickles my ear. I give him a small nod, and he starts walking. Instead of paying attention to where he's taking me, I just soak up his warmth.

A few minutes later, Cain comes to a stop. Figuring we reached our destination, I unwrap my legs and slide down him. He keeps his warm hands on my waist until he's sure I'm steady. When I step back and look around, I realize we're in the music room.

"I thought playing something would take your mind off everything." Cain stares down at me with concern shining in his forest-green eyes.

"Thanks," I manage past the lump in my throat at his thoughtfulness.

I always break out my guitar when I'm feeling overwhelmed, which is often. While I usually gravitate toward guitar, seeing the four grand pianos makes me want to play one of my favorite sad bops. I'm a sucker for sad songs that sound upbeat.

I wander over to the piano tucked into a corner. Sitting at the bench, I play a few keys to get a feel for the instrument. After a moment, I start playing "Numb Little Bug" and singing along. While playing the song, I can't help but wish I felt numb. Instead, I feel too much, but that's the story of my life. I'm always feeling too much, and I wish it would just stop.

When I finish the song, I don't feel any better.

Before I can dwell on it, Cain asks, "Is that your favorite song?"

Turning around, I see him standing only a foot or two behind me. I was so lost in the music that I didn't hear him approach.

For a moment, I admire his broad shoulders and strong forearms. My mind wanders back to seeing him shirtless last week. The boy is ripped, and it's a shame he hides it under his dress clothes.

I shake my head to clear my thoughts and answer his question. "Nope. My favorite is ‘The Albatross.' Have you heard it?"

"No."

"I can play it for you if you want."

"I'd love to listen to you play another song." Cain's earnestness makes me blush.

Except for when I volunteer, I don't play in front of anyone. At least, not intentionally. Bishop and Levi were the last people I accidentally played in front of, but thinking about Bishop will make me cry right now.

Pushing the thought out of my mind, I hurry over to the guitars. Once I grab one, I start tuning the guitar. "What's your favorite song?" I ask as I get the instrument ready.

"‘Granite' by Sleep Token," Cain answers after thinking for a moment.

My lips tip up at him sharing a part of him, no matter how small. He can be pretty closed off. "I'll have to listen to it sometime." I glance up and see his half smile. Butterflies flutter in my stomach at his joy, and I duck my head, so he doesn't see my blush.

After I get the strings tuned properly, I move over to sit on the piano bench again. Cain sits next to me. Closing my eyes, I start playing and singing "The Albatross."

As I sing, my mind wanders to all the ways I bring danger and hold back those I care about. Bishop has been stuck waiting for a mate he can't have. My family has to deal with the judgment of the whole town for a magicless daughter. And now the wolves have to worry about the mage council.

When I'm done with the song, I open my eyes and turn to Cain to see what he thought about it. "I liked it. What makes it your favorite song?" Cain tilts his head and rubs his jaw with one hand as he watches me.

Throwing a leg over the piano bench, so I'm straddling it, I turn to Cain. "Well, I love the sound of it. I think it's my favorite because I can relate to feeling like an albatross."

"You're not a burden." I scoff at Cain, and he sighs. "Do you think I'm a burden?"

"What? No! Of course not." I'm appalled that he would ever think he's a burden.

"As a child, I was constantly told what a burden I was and how worthless I am. Just because someone tells you that you're a danger or bad or wrong doesn't make it true."

"I'm sorry, quiet boy. That sounds like a really rough environment to grow up in. Do you want me to kill whoever told you that?"

Cain barks out a startled laugh. It's the first time I've heard the quiet wolf laugh. His deep, slightly rough, chuckle rumbles through the room and tugs the corners of my lips up in a smile. "My mother's dead, but thank you, angel."

"Oh. I'm sorry? Or I'm glad?" I'm not really sure which one to go with. When in doubt, do both. That's my life motto.

His mouth twitches up in a smile at me. "Thank you."

Seeing him smiling and laughing makes my heart skip a beat. The serious wolf needs more joy in his life. All three of the wolves do, really. They don't laugh nearly enough.

I open my mouth to respond when a voice from the doorway cuts me off. "Can I talk to you, Izzy?"

Looking over, I see it's Bishop. My stomach sinks, knowing exactly what he wants to talk about.