Chapter Nineteen

CHAPTER NINETEEN

Vaughn

L ast night changed me. When I woke up this morning the first person I thought about was Val, the thing I wanted to do was see her eyes and make sure she was okay. Instead, she'd been gone, down in Get Baked for hours.

I slept that hard.

It's been years since I had a good night's sleep. I've struggled off and on since I was ten, since my mom and dad had marriage problems.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Weston raises his eyebrows, an annoyed look on his face. "You missed that pass."

The basketball he's pointing at is bouncing over into the out-of-bounds area and the guys are all looking at me like I've ruined their days. "Sorry."

"You've been out of it since you got here." Abel jogs over to grab the ball. "And I heard from Gabby that you stayed with Val last night, so is there something you want to tell us?"

No, I don't want to tell them anything, because they won't leave me alone if I let them in on what I've done. But they also aren't going to leave me alone unless I tell them. There's no winning. "There was a man who showed up at Val's doorstep wanting to take her home. I think she said it was her uncle. She reacted badly to him, he gave me a weird feeling, and she doesn't want to leave her apartment. I'm staying with her until further notice. Simple as that."

Weston laughs. "Nothing about that sounds simple, V. Hate to break it to ya, but I think you've bit off more than you can chew. I'd know."

"How would you know?" I give him the finger. "It's not like you've ever had a serious relationship before, and here I am halfway cohabitating with someone. Give me a break."

"I have." He shrugs. "I just didn't tell all of you about it, because it wasn't any of your business." He points to the group.

Now I'm interested, but judging by the way he's turned away from us, he doesn't want to talk about it. Effectively he's shut us out, by not allowing his body to even be in an open pose. We look at one another, but no one has anything to say, and instead, we do what we always do. We start our pickup game of ball over again.

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"You don't mind keeping an eye on the place?" I have my phone tucked in between my shoulder and cheek as I talk to my dad. "I don't know how long I'll be at Val's and typically I'd insist we stay here, but she's worked hard to have that little apartment of hers."

"I get it." He says. "Back when your mom and I split, I was proud of the shitty little apartment you and I got too. Let her be proud of it, Vaughn. She's worked her ass off for it. I drive by there everyday going to work, I'll stop in and make sure nobody's bothered anything." He assures me.

"I have cameras at the front and back door, but I purposely live out in the boonies and you know the grid isn't completely stable."

"Which is funny coming from a man who makes his living making sure the grid is stable for other people."

The irony isn't lost on me. "Yeah, yeah. Love you."

"Love you too, if I see anything, I'll give you a holler."

I disconnect, tossing my phone on my bed. God I miss my fucking bed. Val's is small for her, but put my body in it and it's tiny. If I could pick up my bed from my house and take it over to her apartment, I would, but it wouldn't fit. I'm tossing some more clothes into my duffel, and grabbing a couple of toiletries, along with one firesticks. She doesn't have a big TV, but she's using an old Roku device to stream onto the TV she does have and it's absolute shit. At least with this we'll be able to watch more variety.

Glancing around, I don't see anything that I've missed, and truth is, I'm anxious to get back to her. I haven't left her alone except when we're at our jobs or I'm working out with the guys. It makes me nervous, because there's no doubt that the man who came to see her will be there again. He'll be watching to make sure I'm still with her, and he'll be waiting for the opportunity to strike, because that's what motherfuckers like that do.

Locking up the house, I hurry out to my truck and then head back into town.

My nose can smell whatever it is Val's cooking before I hit the halfway mark on the stairs. I'm going to have to start working out more if I keep living with her, she's hell on my waistline. The weirdest part for me though? I like pulling the key out of my pocket and putting it in the lock. When I turn it so that I open the door and walk into what's quickly becoming our space in my head, it feels more like coming home than my house ever has.

"Hey." Val turns and smiles at me from where she's at the sink washing dishes. "Dinner is almost ready."

She's bright-eyed compared to how I saw her the first day when she came home from work. "Was Get Baked not crazy today?"

"I took a nap when I came home. I guess my nights are going to be a lot more productive than they ever were when I was here by myself. If I want to hang out with you, I'm going to have to make sure I can stay up a little later."

That both warms my heart and makes me feel bad. I don't want her to end up making herself tired, but I enjoy sitting on the couch and watching TV with her after we eat dinner. I like talking with her about my day. It's only been a couple of nights, and it's becoming a routine. It won't take much for me to start to count on this. "I can be super quiet if you need me to be. You don't have to stay up with me."

She walks over to where I stand, wrapping her arms around my neck. "I like staying up with you. I've never really had anyone to hang out with at night. Back there..." She references her home before. "I was expected to take care of all the children after dinner. I never had any time to myself until I went to bed. Once I moved in here and started fixing it up, I enjoyed the quiet, but the nights were starting to become lonely. I figure you know that, considering how much I was texting you."

I circle my hands around her waist. "No, I just thought you were trying to butter me up. I am the hot lineman, right?"

She groans, tilting her forehead onto my shoulder. "When did you see the name on my phone?"

"Last night." I laugh, moving a hand up to dig into her hair. "It's cute, I appreciate it. If you're a good girl, I might show you what your name is on my phone."

"Either way," she clears her throat. "It wasn't that I was lonely exactly, it's at night when I'm here by myself, the memories come."

Now this I don't like. We were teasing seconds ago, now this is taking a turn for the more serious and I don't love the way her face is pulled taut. "Do you want to tell me about those memories? You don't have to, but will you let me confess something to you?"

She nods.

"When I was a teenager, I was sent to talk to a therapist because of everything that happened with my parents. For the first few sessions, I refused to speak. Did not want to talk about anything having to do with either of them. They were the cause of everything I was going through, and I didn't want to give them the satisfaction of paying for a service that would help me. I wanted them to waste it, and not give it a chance to help me. Eventually I got annoyed going to see them every week. We started talking about stupid shit. Like which football game I was excited to watch, which TV show I was looking forward to, and out of nowhere one day, she asked me if I wanted to discuss my parents." I inhale deeply, thinking back to that day. "It caught me off-guard. I'd gotten so used to talking to her about the mundane, that I immediately began speaking about my experiences with my parents. When I finally got done, I exhaled, and I was lighter. The therapist smiled at me, telling me that's what she'd been trying to get me to do the entire time." I push the hair back from her face. "Long story short, I believe that if you speak about whatever it is that scared you, that made you leave, you don't give it power anymore. You're not dealing with the memories in silence, and in my experience once you put them out in the open, they don't carry as much weight."

She seems to think about what I've said, and starts softly. "I'm the oldest of eighteen children, and I've always felt a huge sense of responsibility. For the entire family, not just my siblings. I was the person who would get up early and make sure that breakfast was done, that the kids were helping to clean the house, the wash was at least moving so we had clean clothes. I was comfortable in that role." She stops, swallowing loudly.

I walk her over to the bed, and lay down, pressing her against my chest. I hold her tightly, hoping I give her enough confidence to confide in me. "Tell me, however long it takes, and however you feel comfortable doing it. I think you'll be less afraid once you do."

She snuggles in next to me, and although I've only been here a couple of nights with her, this is definitely where I see myself in the future. I think about what she's doing during the day when I'm not with her, and more than anything, I want her to trust me, to know that no matter what she tells me, it's not going to change what I'm beginning to feel.

"Tell me something before I do." Val whispers. "Anything to take my mind off of this before I tell you one of the worst parts of my life."

I rack my brain, trying to figure out what will be the one thing that'll keep her mind off the bad shit. It takes me a minute, but then it hits me. "Have you ever been to the train trestle?"

"Train trestle?"

Sometimes I forget how sheltered she's been, that she hasn't had the same experiences I have. "You know the main trailhead at the Falls? There's a train trestle and a lot of teenagers carve their names in hearts on it. Word says that if you do it, and your names are visible within a year, then you're destined to be together."

She's quiet for a few moments. "Have you ever done that with a girlfriend of yours?"

"Not yet, but the one I'm holding in my arms right now might be the first I'm tempted to do it with."

Our eyes meet, and hers are warm, full of affection. "I hope so." She whispers.

Me too...