Prologue

Damrion

álfheimr , 2500 Years Ago

A thick haze of acrid smoke and gray ash hangs over álfheimr , choking the life out of our world. I cough as it billows in black clouds from fires raging all over the realm that birthed the Fae. From my vantage point on the battlements of the castle, I see the red glow far below. It's as if the J?tunn set the entire world on fire.

I pace back and forth, my footsteps echoing against the crumbling remains of our once-legendary castle. The screams of the dead and the dying float up from the haze below, threatening to break me in a way nothing ever has.

My world is dying.

Surt and his Giants have laid waste to it, their fury merciless. We're on the verge of losing everything, but I refuse to let it fall without a fight.

I owe our people this much. It shouldn't be my choice. I wasn't meant to lead. My duty is to Valhalla and the oaths I swore to protect her borders. But word arrived days ago that I'm the last remaining royal.

álfheimr has no one else.

My heart aches with the weight of loss. The conflict has claimed everyone I love.

Nei , not everyone.

I clench my fists, my nails biting into my palms as Adriel's face floats to the surface of my mind. He's still out there. He's still fighting.

Gods, Adriel.

His lips are on mine, his hands tangled in my hair. His kiss is urgent, desperate, as though he's trying to convey a thousand unspoken words.

I respond with the same urgency, clutching him to me. His taste is intoxicating, his scent overwhelmingly familiar. It's the only comfort left these days.

He's my only peace. I just wish I would have been strong enough to reach for him long before this fucking war started.

All that time wasted...

"Damrion," he groans, writhing against me as I wrap my hand around his erection. "Fuck."

A powerful knock on the door shatters the moment like glass hitting stone.

I wrench myself from his arms, my heart hammering against my ribcage. In two steps, I'm on the opposite side of the chamber, my back to him.

"Enter!" I shout.

Burion hurries into the room, rivulets of blood running down his face. They stain his hands. His eyes are wild as they meet mine.

"The Eastern Regiment..." he gasps, panting as if he ran the entire way here. "Under attack. Outnumbered by thousands."

Faen.

If the Eastern Regiment falls, álfheimr falls. They're our last line of defense.

"Thank you. Get yourself to the Valkyrie and rest. I'll send word to the generals."

How many of our generals even still live?

Burion nods and stumbles out, leaving behind an oppressive silence.

I turn back to Adriel, a weight on my heart. It only grows when I see his face. The fire in his eyes has winked out, replaced by a chilling emptiness. And I know it has nothing to do with the news Burion brought.

This is my doing.

"Adriel, I—"

"I'm going," he says suddenly, his voice devoid of emotion.

My heart clenches.

"Adriel, wait." I reach for him but he steps back, his face set in an icy glare. "You don't owe us anything else. You've done enough."

He's been unstoppable since the war began, one of our most deadly warriors. If history remembers us at all, it'll be this Fae and his Light they immortalize.

"This isn't about owing, Damrion." A bitter smile twists his lips as he shakes his head at me. "It's about fighting for our world. For our people. So long as there's a need, I'll fight." Disappointment flows through his black eyes before his expression goes blank. "Until just now, I thought perhaps I was fighting for us, too."

"Adriel."

He strides toward the door, not looking at me.

Faen.

"Adriel, please. Let's talk about this."

"Nei, Damrion. I won't be your hidden shame or your dirty fucking secret. If that's all you want from me, there's nothing to talk about."

The door slams shut behind him, leaving me to grapple with his words in the deafening silence. Is that what he thinks he is to me?

I collapse onto a nearby chair, a wave of guilt washing over me. He's right. I have treated him like a dirty secret. Since he kissed me for the first time after Ljósál fell a fortnight ago, we've met only in secret. I hold him, touch him, kiss him, only when we're alone.

Shame bubbles up inside me, not for how I feel about him—Gods no, never. But I'm deeply ashamed of myself and my choices.

Our moments together are stolen from beneath the blade of a sword and the threat of looming destruction. He's the Light in this Gods-forsaken war.

And I don't know how to save us.

Our argument still echoes in my mind, tormenting me. It's a chasm between us, one we can't even bridge because he hasn't returned. He's out there now, battling the surging tide of J?tunn threatening to engulf us all.

He thinks I'm ashamed of the way I feel about him.

Gods. How could I have let it come to that?

There hasn't been a single moment since this Gods-forsaken war when having him in my arms has shamed me. If I fall with álfheimr , I'll fall with him in my heart.

Footsteps sound behind me.

I whirl around to find Dax standing before me, weary and covered in blood. His grim expression is a hot blade right into my stomach.

"Tell me," I demand, my voice strained.

He hesitates for a moment, seeming to gather his thoughts. His silence only fuels the panic beating at me.

"Speak, damn you!" I growl.

"The Eastern Regiment is gone, Damrion," he finally says, his voice a painful rasp. "By the time Malachi and I arrived, everyone was dead or captured."

Nei . If we've lost the Eastern Regiment, our chances of survival are all but gone. álfheimr is going to fall, and the Fae will fall with it.

"Adriel," I whisper, his name a plea on my lips. Fear claws at my insides, threatening to tear me apart. "He was with the Eastern Regiment, Dax. He left two days ago. Tell me he got out. Tell me he's alive, damn you."

Dax meets my gaze, but the sorrow in his eyes offers no comfort. "We searched, Damrion," he says quietly. "There were no survivors."

Gods. He's gone.

Adriel is gone.

My world shatters in an instant, fragments of hope falling into darkness.

Grief and pain crash over me in tidal waves of agony. My legs wobble beneath me, threatening to give way. I grasp at the wall behind me, trying to keep myself upright.

"We have to go. I have to go," I mutter, though even I hear the painful desperation in my voice.

"Damrion." Dax reaches out, gripping my arm tightly. His touch is both grounding and suffocating.

"Release me, Dax," I growl, a feral edge to my voice that surprises even me. I yank my arm free of his hold.

"Damrion," he repeats, his voice soft. "The Fae are dying. You have to empty the city. You're the only one left who can issue the order. We can't lose you, too."

Nei . I have to go. I have to…

My knees buckle, and I crumble to the floor, my stomach twisting into knots.

Memories of Adriel flood my mind—the way he would growl my name when he kissed me, the sound of his moans when I was deep inside him. The look of disappointment in his eyes when he stormed out.

He never should have been out there. He went because of me.

And because of me, he's dead.

I lean forward, bile rising in my throat as I choke on Adriel's name. My vision blurs with tears as I vomit. The fucking air feels like it's trying to suffocate me. The acrid smell of smoke and death clings to everything around me, as if to remind me of everything I've lost.

"Damrion," Dax murmurs, concern ringing in his voice as he kneels beside me. "You need to breathe."

But breathing only brings more pain and the crushing weight of guilt. Adriel is dead, and it's my fault. I was so fucking afraid to love him openly, afraid it would consume me whole and everyone would see what I already knew: I wasn't worthy of him. He's always been the best of us. And I've been handed everything simply by place of birth.

Now, I've lost him anyway. I've lost everything.

Agony rips through me, tearing at every fiber of my being.

"Get out."

"Damr—"

"Get the fuck out, Dax."

He sighs quietly, but he doesn't argue with me. His footsteps retreat across the battlements before fading entirely.

"Adriel," I whisper, a prayer to whatever Gods might still be listening as tears pour down my cheeks. "Not dead. Please, not dead."

But if any of the Gods still live, they aren't answering. Not my prayers. Not today. I've used up every last one I have trying to save the Fae.

Adriel is gone.

And I never even told him that I love him.