5. Vail

5

VAIL

It took everything in me not to go to Jordan. The way his face fell, and pain filled his eyes. Fuck, I wanted him in my arms. But I knew myself. If I did that, I wouldn’t walk away if I needed to. I had to hear him out, listen to his side of things. He could lie to me, but I hoped he would tell me the truth.

There had been many situations when he didn’t need to. When he could have lied and made up a story instead of pouring his heart out. I had enough information I could go to the cops and give them evidence to help convict him. Would I? Never. Even if Jordan killed Gil, I wouldn’t turn him in.

I loved Jordan, but I wouldn’t allow him to walk all over me.

“Vail,” he whispered, his voice rough. He looked the same as he did when he was pulled away from us, except his clothes were a little wrinkled.

“Tell me.” There was no point in trying to avoid the situation.

“I didn’t do it. I said I wouldn’t go after him, and I held true to my word. Nor did I have any of my people do it. Gil disappeared, but it wasn’t by my hand or orders.” Reaching into his pocket, he pulled out a couple of sheets of folded paper. “Here.” He handed them to me. Then he opened his phone and started scrolling before giving me that as well. “Watch this.”

“What is this?”

“Evidence. I need you to see I had nothing to do with Gil going missing.”

“You think I want this?” I dropped them onto the couch. “I don’t want to read or watch what you’ve given me. Your words matter. Looking into your eyes and seeing you aren’t lying to me.”

“I wouldn’t. I won’t .”

“Even if it meant losing me?”

His throat worked as he swallowed. “Even then. I don’t want a relationship with you and Hartley built on lies.”

“He… he hurt me, Jordan. He did things I don’t want to speak of. Hart said he’d tell you, but I can’t say them again. It’s too hard. Lana… I had to tell her so she could help you and I had to talk to the cops.”

Jordan lifted his hand to cup my cheek. “You don’t have to tell me. Anything that hurts you, we don’t need to do. If you want me to know, I’ll be here.”

I nodded, all the while my eyes holding his. “Promise you didn’t have anything to do with this?”

With his free hand, he took mine and placed it over his heart. The rapid beat of it let me know how worried Jordan was that I’d leave. Maybe I would, had I not already been in so deep with him and Hartley, had Jordan lied to me. Leaving would mean parting from both of them. I couldn’t ask Hartley to see me on the side. That wouldn’t be right. It was an all-or-nothing situation, and I was all in.

“With every breath, every beat of my heart, every word I speak to you and Hartley, know that my words are true. I promise I had nothing to do with Gil’s disappearance. If there is something I don’t think you should know because of the nature of it, I would tell you as such. You and Hartley don’t get involved in my business, and I like it that way. That world isn’t yours. You’re both too good, too perfect to be mixed up in it. But I won’t lie. Not to either of you.”

“There’s nothing pure or perfect about us. Perfection doesn’t exist in humans. We’re flawed. Those flaws make us who we are. They make us individuals and give us so much to grow and learn from.”

“They can also take things away.”

“You know this, but we’re not them, nor will we ever be.” Hartley and I wouldn’t betray him like his wife and Malik had.

“Vail…” His bottom lip had the slightest tremor to it. It was my undoing.

Opening my arms, I wasn’t certain if I reached for him, or if he fell into me. Either way, we came together in a crushing embrace.

I needed this. I needed to see and hear him. Jordan was a lot of things, including a man of his word. He didn’t lie to us. Although, that left a whole other problem. Where was Gil, and was he alive? If he was, what was he planning? There was evidence in his home that pointed to Jordan, which meant he wanted me away from Jordan or something really did happen to him, and he hoped it would be Jordan who did it, if only to tear down my world.

Gil wasn’t a good person. Maybe someone else wanted him dead. He could have hurt others after he was with me. Beat them, caused them pain, put fear into them. I could have been one of many victims.

That was a problem for later. Right now, I wanted to climb into bed with Hartley and Jordan and sleep. I was exhausted and so happy to be whole again. But there was one thing I had to say first.

Leaning back, but not taking my hands off him, I looked into Jordan’s hazel eyes again and said, “I love you.”

His lips parted as his breath faltered. “You love me? Even after everything?”

“There’s no even after. You didn’t do a damn thing. Yes, I love you. I loved you before all this shit, and I’ll love you long after.”

“What if we?—”

“No what-ifs. There’s only now.” I glanced past Jordan to where Hartley stood. Jordan was here with us, no longer in prison. I was damn grateful.

I didn’t have good experiences with police stations. Almost every time I needed them to help me, they didn’t. When they did, it wasn’t the norm for me with them. To think of Jordan locked up in a place where Gil should spend a long-ass time for what he did to me, it didn’t sit well.

I knew how fucked up that sounded. Yet, I didn’t give a shit.

Jordan was back where he belonged, with Hartley and me. It was then I realized I’d do whatever I had to, so he stayed out of prison. Jordan wasn’t a model citizen, but he wasn’t all bad either. We got to see this side of him where he would fall to his knees for us and expose his very soul. The world didn’t get that part of him and never would. That was okay. We knew the man he was inside.

“C’mere, Hart,” I said and lifted my arm to welcome him into our embrace. He readily came, slotting with us like he was always meant to be there. “Thank you for being you.” I pressed a kiss to his lips, then faced Jordan. “And thank you for telling me the truth.”

“Vail?” Jordan asked.

“Hmm?” My eyes were heavy, the weight of the day catching up to me for the second time. Earlier, before the cops searched the building, I wanted to crawl into bed with Hartley and soak in his warmth. Now, I wanted to do it but sleep for a while as well.

“I love you too,” Jordan whispered so faintly I almost didn’t hear him.

A smile curved my lips. “Well, that’s nice to hear.”

His eyes narrowed as a low growl emanated from him. Nothing like the growl he gave his guards when he was pissed. This was a sexy rumble. “Vail.”

“What about Hart? Do you love him too?”

Instead of answering, Jordan gripped Hartley by the back of the neck and slammed his lips down on Hartley’s. The kiss had enough force for Hartley’s knees to buckle. Thankfully, I had my arm around his waist to hold him up. It was over too soon. If they would have kept going, sleep would have been a distant memory in favor of a lot of fucking.

Jordan broke the kiss to drop his forehead on Hartley’s. “I love you, Hart.”

“Oh my god,” Hartley whispered. “I’m going to cry.” Tears welled in his eyes. “I didn’t expect this. Vail already told me he loved me, but this has been one hell of an emotional roller coaster. You love me, Jordan? Really?”

Jordan’s lips twitched but didn’t fully lift into a smile. “Is that so hard to believe?”

“But you’re you and Vail’s, well, Vail. I’m not even close to?—”

Jordan put his hand over Hartley’s mouth. “Don’t you dare say you’re not close to who we are. If anyone’s better, it’s you two.”

“Now, now,” I cut in. “Are we really going to start this? Because I think you’re both amazing.”

“I kill people and sell guns and drugs for a living,” Jordan stated.

“If you’re getting technical, you do much more than that. Without you, a lot of people wouldn’t be employed, and I don’t just mean your guards. They matter too though. Some of them have been dealt a shitty hand. You have no idea how much them working for you means. But outside of your guards, you have multiple businesses you run legitimately. Without you, people wouldn’t have job security, medical insurance, and more. Don’t sell yourself short.”

Clearing his throat, Jordan looked down and straightened his jacket. “Yes, well, they’ve proven themselves and that’s why they still work for me.” He wasn’t only referring to the guards. I had a feeling Jordan applied the same rule to everyone under him. He valued loyalty above all else with the people he employed. If they made a move against him, they wouldn’t have a job. Some wouldn’t have a life.

I hooked my finger under his chin, reveling in the feel of his beard against my skin. Fuck, he was only gone for a bit. It felt like an eternity. The time spent without him had me feeling so many emotions; I wasn’t certain I’d ever get my head above water, especially after talking to Lana and the cops about Gil.

Jordan’s eyes lifted once more, meeting mine. Vulnerability swam in them. He’d say Hartley and I made him that way. There was truth to it. If someone wanted to get to him, they’d just have to hurt us, his son, or Romeo. But this was a different vulnerability. This was Jordan not able to easily accept compliments from us.

“Why are you okay when someone says you’re a good businessman or a badass boss, but when I compliment you, your head goes down?” I asked.

“I don’t deserve your praise.”

Cocking my head, I asked, “Why not?”

“I should be a better man for you both.”

“We’re not asking you to be,” Hartley said. “We want you exactly how you are.”

Jordan nodded, then let his head fall to my shoulder. We’d been down this road already. Hartley and I were well aware of who he was and what he did. It wasn’t always easy to swallow, especially with him getting hauled off in a cop car, but that was because I doubted him, not because of his crimes.

I doubted Jordan wouldn’t hold true to what he’d told me. That was on me, not him. I had my own shit to work out. Trust for one thing. It was easy for me to put myself in Hartley’s hands. I knew him years ago. He could hurt me just as much as Jordan could, but that wasn’t Hartley. He was too kind.

Jordan made a big step tonight by telling me the truth, one I didn’t doubt. If I really wanted the evidence, I could get it. I didn’t. That would only prove I didn’t trust him after all.