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Chapter 17 - Jamie

I crawled back into bed, watching Ashan stroll out of the suite. At that moment, my life changed, all my plans flew out the door with him. I felt numb as reality settled in. I was now truly stuck here. No more running away and wanting to be free of all this, I was pregnant with his child.

If I left, the enemies would find me, and I couldn’t put my baby in danger. For a moment, I just stared at the test in my hand. I pulled my legs up, turned to my side, and cradled them. What if Ashan became more obsessive? How would I handle all of this?

Laying in that position helped ease the nausea. I had no idea what to do and no knowledge of being pregnant or raising a child. The world had shrunk, and I was left in a little cocoon. I slowly dozed off again, even though my mind scrolled through endless images of life I would never see again. I was startled awake by a knock on the door.

Sitting up, I looked at my watch, it was almost midday, and I couldn’t believe I’d slept so long. I still felt a little tired, but the nausea was gone now. Scooting down to the edge of the bed, I called out. “It’s open, come in.”

Cleo surprised me when she entered, all sunny and smiling. “Good morning, I hope you’re feeling better?”

Rubbing the sleep from my eyes, I stretched out releasing the yawn that just popped out. “Yes, thanks, I am. What is all of this?”

She had brought up lunch. I had to admit that I was relieved it wasn’t Ashan who had returned. Yes, we needed to talk, but with this on top of everything else, I just needed a moment to breathe even though things were settling well.

“We’ve heard the good news,” Cleo stated as she lifted the cover off the plate and poured me a glass of juice.

“Oh, I didn’t know Ashan had told everyone.” My stomach turned as I thought of facing all my newly made friends. “Everyone?” I inquired, glancing up at Cleo.

“Well, I don’t know,” Cleo responded, pushing a golden lock of hair back behind her small ear. “I know he saw the chef and me, but I don’t know who else.”

A sigh escaped my lips as I brought the glass up and sipped at the juice.

“Aren’t you excited?” Cleo asked, raising her brows.

“I’m not sure what to make of all this, to be honest,” I replied, pulling the trolley closer. Staring at the meal before me, I wasn’t even sure if I was hungry.

Cleo sat down next to me. She started asking questions about my favorite color, what kind of tops and bottoms I preferred wearing, what foods I liked, and more. Her line of questioning was a bit weird, and when I confronted her about it, she simply said she wanted to get to know me better. I accepted her answer but couldn’t shake the feeling that something else was up.

As we spoke, I ate some of the food she had brought. My mind strolled to Ana and I just had to know. Turning to Cleo, I asked her. “Tell me, I haven’t seen Ana around. You know why?”

Cleo stood abruptly, glancing around as if she was about to spill the beans. “You haven’t heard?” she whispered.

Shaking my head, I scooted to the edge of the bed.

“Ashan sent her away, she’s no longer working here and I heard from the guards that she wasn’t allowed back here at all.”

Stunned at this revelation I was speechless. Cleo quickly took the trolley and left with a ‘see you later’ as she pulled the door closed.

After having a propper meal for lunch, I felt a lot better and decided to go for a swim and a stroll on the upper decks. I decided that staying would be best for both me and our child. What life would I be able to offer a child anyway? Ashan had a lot more to offer. Besides with Ana out of the picture there wouldn’t be any more issues, of this I was sure.

Vowing to myself to give him a chance to prove his worth, I spent the afternoon on the top deck, sauntering through baby sites online. I admired the furniture and clothing and made a list of items I wanted. It was a bit odd that Ashan wasn’t hovering over me, but I welcomed the time alone. I could focus on myself and the precious life growing within me.

Leaving the suite earlier, I noticed two guards following me. They kept their distance but were there whenever I turned around. So, I was sure he at least knew where I was and what I was doing. Then, my suspicions were confirmed as my supper arrived on the deck. I thanked the waiter and quite enjoyed the supper even though there was an obvious increase in veggies on my plate.

Feeling tired, I decided to turn in early and headed back to the suite. The night went a bit better, and I only woke twice. Getting up the second time, I noticed it was past three and Ashan had not come to bed. I assumed the den was keeping him quite busy as there had been many nights he didn’t come to bed. Not that I minded as it gave me more time and space to do things I loved. Plus, there was no fussing or overprotective to deal with.

The next day, I received a visit from a well-known specialist. It was a surprise when Cleo called me to Ashan’s office for the doctor. Ashan sat with me and had quite a few questions regarding my health and the baby. As the doctor answered all the questions and went through everything with us, I realized that Ashan was genuinely concerned.

He sat next to me, holding my hand the whole time. It was a big change from the man I had seen up until now. I wasn’t sure if it was due to the pregnancy or the present company, but I liked seeing him so caring.

“We’ll need to do some blood tests and have an ultrasound done with our next appointment,” the doctor said, handing Ashan two pieces of paper.

Ashan shook his head in agreement as he replied. “Sure thing, doc. We’ll get these done in the week.”

The doctor discussed meals, exercise, and daily care with us. He also made an appointment date for the next time but asked that we come to his office. Once he left, Ashan saw that everything was taken care of.

He ordered breakfast and asked that the chef come up to discuss my meals. The chef was a reasonably tall man, but exactly what one would expect. He had a big round face, a full head of sleek-back black hair, and a small beard. Even though he was reasonably tall, he had more than enough meat around his bones.

The chef was always smiling and friendly. I had never seen him down or upset. His white coat and hat fit him like a glove. Ashan asked him to sit with us as we had lunch.

“Right then,” Ashan started. “What do you think would be best for meals during pregnancy?” he asked the chef.

The chef smiled wide at me as he spoke. “Congratulations.” I smiled back at him and shook my head. “Well, we must have fruit, yogurt, vegetables, protein, and whole grains. What do you enjoy most?”

Thinking it over, I felt Ashan squeezing my hand. “I love mango, papaya, and cherries.” The chef made notes in a small book he carried around in his shirt pocket as I spoke. “For my vegetables, I will have pumpkin, potato, and cauliflower.”

“I would suggest we add broccoli, cabbage, and spinach to that list if you don’t mind?” Chef asked.

Glancing down, I nodded but didn’t love the idea. Vegetables weren’t one of my favorite things, but I knew I had to get some in.

“Right then,” the chef said as he rose. “For meats, we’ll stick to mostly white meats such as fish and poultry.”

Ashan stood and walked to the door with him. “Thank you,” he added before closing the door behind the chef.

He called and arranged for a personal trainer for my exercise routines. It was all so surreal, and I had to pinch myself a couple of times to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. This cold man actually had a heart which was warming, I thought as he moved back toward me.

Ashan sat back down but this time before me and not next to me. “Hun,” he said, taking my hands in his. “I am very excited, but I want you to be comfortable and taken care of. If there is anything you want, just let me know, okay?”

His eyes softened as he spoke and I could see he cared deeply. “Additionally, you will have two more guards at your disposal. If there is anything, you just ask them.” Ashan assured me they would always be around if I needed help.

“I have arranged with Cleo to be by your side when I am busy.” He added, leaning forward and giving me a tender kiss on the cheek.

We met with the personal trainer just before supper time and he would be back in the morning to get started. We would have three sessions a week, one for dancing, one for yoga, and another for pilates. Every other day I would stick to swimming.

I felt tired just thinking about it but knew it was important for both me and the baby. Once again Ashan didn’t come to bed, but when I opened my eyes the next morning, Cleo was there waiting with my vitamins and breakfast.

Cleo became my left hand over the next three weeks. She was there when I opened my eyes and, most of the time, also the last person I saw before bedtime. Ashan was gentle, caring, and understanding moving forward and I felt sure that with each passing day, he became softer and more caring.

Most of my nausea had dissipated and I was feeling quite well as I got dressed for our doctor’s appointment. It has now been eight weeks and the doctor insisted we come in once a month for now.

As I ascended the stairs, I saw Ashan waiting for me in the lobby. “Good morning hun,” he said, taking my hand and kissing my cheek. “How did you sleep?”

Smiling up at him I nodded, “Good, thanks and you?”

“Always good, but you know that.” He mumbled as we headed out to the car. The trip to the doctor’s office went quickly. Today would be our first sonar to see and hear the baby. Entering the enormous dark grey building that held the offices, I beamed at Ashan as he took my hand. It was an exciting day.

From the reception desk you could see three doors to the back but from the bright sign stuck to the desk, I noted that there had to be more as there were five names on it. The the right of the desk was a sign haning from the roof that read ‘Doctor’s Offices’. To our left the sign hanging read ‘Xray, Sonar, Ultrasound, and Pharmacy’.

The elderly lady behind the large half-moon desk smiled as we came to stand before her. “Your first time, dear?” she inquired, handing Ashan a clipboard with papers and a pen.

Filled with excitement and fear at the same time, I battled finding words so I just shook my head and smiled at her. “Good for you, such young love is incredible.” She added.

Ashan handed her the board back, having completed the documents and we took a seat waiting to see the doctor.

“You’ve been quite busy the last three weeks,” I commented while we waited.

Ashan squeezed my hand again as he lifted and kissed my fingers. “I was, yes,” he said. Taking a deep breath he continued. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted space but felt you might need it?”

I was completely surprised by the sudden change but enjoyed it. I had little to no worries in the world and spent my days doing whatever I wanted. Cleo and I became good friends as I learned more about her life and her dreams. We both found it a bit odd that I had not met any of Ashan’s other family. It almost felt like he didn’t want them close to me.

It wasn’t an issue, though, as I would most likely not even know what to do with so many people fussing over me and the baby. I liked having space and not caring about other people’s impressions of me or their needs.

But after a while, the space became lonely. Spending my days with basically only Cleo around and two guards following me wasn’t enough anymore.

“Yes, I did, and do,” I mumbled, looking down at our entwined fingers. “But, I would also like to spend some more time with you.”

Hearing our names being called we looked up. A nurse in blue and white uniform stood under the sign that lead to the doctor’s offices and was calling for us. Rising and moving forward I felt Ashan pulling me back. “I’ll do better,” he said before walking toward the nurse.

Entering the office my nose tickled from the smell of eucalyptus oil. The doctor wore a white coat and was seated behind his desk. He stood and walked over to us as holding out his hand to Ashan.

“Please, don’t sit, come with me.” He said, walking out the door. We followed him down the hall and through a short passage to another room. Opening the door, he stepped aside as he spoke. “Please come in and Jamie, you can take a seat on the bed for us.”

The odor in this room was quite a contrast from his office. It reeked of cleaning material and disinfectants. The narrow white leather covered bed was speckless and almost sparkled as if it was new.

Next to it stood a box-like machine with wires and what looked like a remote of somekind. The surface of the bed was a bit hard but comfortable none the less.

“Please lay back and lift your shirt slightly for me,” the doctor said as he turned the machine on. “This might be a bit cold,” he added before squirting a clear liquid onto my tummy.

We watched in amazement as he moved with the remote object across the liquid. He stopped a couple of times taking measurements and images. Once this was done, he turned on the sound and we could hear our baby”s heart beat.

Ashan squeezed my hand as I gasped and fought the tears that suddenly appeared out of nowhere. Filling with excited energy I wanted to dance around the room. It was the most precious moment of my life.

“Well, all looks good and the baby is growing nicely.” The doctor said grinning at us as he wiped off my stomach “You can make another appointment for next month and let me know if you have any questions.” He added as he left.

After making the appointment, Ashan took me shopping and made sure I got all I wanted.

It was lovely, over the next two weeks we had days that were loaded with fun, but the loneliness crept back in, and soon I realized I wanted more. I also wanted Ashan’s company, not just flings of shopping and dinners, I wanted him to spend time with me. Once the new phase wore off, I started feeling sad.

Strange enough, but I started missing him more each day. Ashan had been treating me as an equal, and I had to admit that I was even missing our arguments. I couldn’t explain it even if I tried, I saw him at least once every morning and night just before bedtime, as he would check in on me. But I felt alone, empty somehow as if something had left my life.

Tonight, I decided to wait for him. Another two weeks had passed. I was now twelve weeks pregnant and I needed some loving not just highlights. When Ashan came in shortly after eight, I was seated on one of the chaise lounges.

“You still up?” he asked as he came closer and knelt before me, taking my hands into his.

“I waited for you,” I replied turning my gaze down as my mouth pulled into a smile. “Will you stay the night and just hold me?”

Rising, Ashan pulled me up into his warm embrace. “Sure thing.” Slipping my arms around him we just stood for a while. I felt safe and at home in his arms as a sense of peace flooded me. Ashan picked me up and walked to the bed without a word.

After laying me down, he got in behind me and pulled me close into his reassuring embrace. I breathed in deeply as his sweet, honeyed aroma filled the air around us. Closing my eyes, sleep came quickly.

Waking, I was filled with blissfulness I didn’t know existed. I was walking on clouds for a day or two, but as the days passed, it faded. Ashan had returned to his normal routine of visiting, outings, and meals. He didn’t stay in the evenings.

Confused and frustrated, I wasn’t sure what to make of his actions as days turned into weeks again. We had another visit with the doctor at sixteen weeks. The baby was doing great and so was I. Yet, my stomach had started growing and the facts could no longer be hidden.

Ashan took me for another wardrobe fitting and filled my closet with suitable clothing for the next trimester. After dinner, I had a long soaking bath. As I lay relaxing, I felt it for the first time. Thrilled, I couldn’t wait for Ashan to come up.

I was excited to see him as the baby had started moving, and I just had to share the news. Ashan arrived on schedule, and when he entered, I jumped into his arms. He held me for a moment, and I felt whole.

“You have to feel this,” I whispered in his ear.

He gently took me by the hips and pushed me back. “Feel what? What’s going on? Are you okay? Should I call the doctor?” He asked, and I heard some concern in his voice.

“It’s nothing to worry about, silly,” I replied, beaming. “Feel here,” I added as I pulled his hand closer and held it against my stomach.

My attention was on his face as I felt the baby softly licking. His lit up as he felt the light movement. “Ashan,” I said staring at his handsome face. His eyes were filled with compassion as he looked back at me. His hands were warm as he wrapped them around me. “Will you stay the night and just hold me?” I asked.

He nodded in agreement as he leaned in and kissed me tenderly. Pulling away, I looked down at the floor to my foot as I twisted my toes left and right, suddenly feeling shy. Turning, I moved to the bed and crawled up to my place.

Ashan lay down beside me. He moved up against my back first, just holding my stomach. Feeling him holding me, his soft touch, and the heat he was giving off, started to turn me on.

As we lay, I became more and more restless, my body tingled, and I knew I wanted his touch. No, I had to have it. Ashan stroked my hair, waiting for me to fall asleep, I suspected, but I just couldn’t. Having him so close, his touch, it was almost too much, it was messing with my hormones.

His touch, his smell, and his body heat were all warming me on the inside. Eventually, I took his hand from my belly and pulled it up, placing it over my breast and cupping his hand with mine. Ashan lay dead still for a moment.

He slowly pulled his hand out from under my arm and turned on his back. I glanced over my shoulder at him. His eyes were closed but I knew he wasn’t sleeping yet as he had a smile on his face. How could he, I was sure he also wanted more than just to cuddle.

Turning to him, I laid my head on his chest. Ashan embraced me in his arms, holding me tight, but I still couldn’t fall asleep. I wanted his touch, I needed him.

I felt like I was going to explode as I rubbed my legs together. How did he notice, I wondered as I placed a hand on his firm abs. This made me even hotter, a tingling sensation shot through me, igniting fires all over my body. I moved my fingers left and right over his abs swallowing hard as I tried to contain my urges.

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