7. Basketball Boobs and Pumpkin Patches

SEVEN

Delilah:

Parker is back in town

Queen Charlotte:

Holy shit. We ride at dawn?

Delilah:

I told him

Queen Charlotte:

Okay, so we murder at dawn?

Delilah:

I can't go to jail. I'm a MOTHER.

Queen Charlotte:

Meh, I'm a lawyer.

Delilah:

A lousy one then. These texts are pretty incriminating.

Hating the town's golden boy was a difficult feat when he just signed an eight-year, $200 million contract after a record breaking season. Then he got put on the restricted list for some unknown reason. It was all anyone could talk about. I wanted to blame them, but I still watched every game religiously—in my room where my mother wouldn't be able to watch me watch him, and only I could judge how pathetic it was.

During Parker's first season with Seattle, the team was playing like shit. They had a good lineup of pitchers, but they could only do so much without help in the infield. A number of Parker's friends from Buffalo were moved up by the time his first full season ended, including Brett and Peter. I was happy for them, they were good people. They were doing exactly what they'd dreamt of since tee-ball.

Parker and Brett's faces were plastered everywhere. They had an endorsement commercial with one of the top athletic brands in the world. The duo of brothers. I was strong willed and could handle a lot, but my mom caught me practically drooling over the commercial once.

Both men were drenched in sweat, shirtless, and in baseball pants. They'd be playing catch, then running suicides on the baseline, and at the end it cut to Parker licking his middle and index fingers before tapping the tattoo above his heart. It was his ritual before throwing a pitch. It was directed by a woman, no one could convince me otherwise. That was exactly the kind of porn women wanted to see.

I mean, come on. My grandma sent me a blurry picture of the TV screen when she first saw it. Then she called me to make sure I got her text. No worries Gram, it was burned into my brain forever.

"I don't understand why we can't go any other day." I was pleading, but Mom wouldn't hear a word of it.

I was able to mostly avoid Roe while pregnant, since my family lived outside of town and I worked from home or the city an hour away. It was cowardly, but it also helped avoid the rumors that were sure to start anytime now.

"Delilah, you've had plenty of time to prepare for this." She settled her hands on my shoulders. Her blue eyes mirrored my own so perfectly it was like we were one in the same. It was something we both inherited from my grandpa, along with the messy waves that loved to tangle. My mom was naturally beautiful in a way that made it so I had to be easier on myself. One look at Lorelai Howard, well I guess Lorelai Baker now, and you knew I was her daughter. "I love you, but I miss my friend. You can't blame the whole family for Parker's mistakes."

"I don't!" I never had, but it hurt too much to be around them. There was a physical ache in my chest when I ran into Parker's dad at the gas station early in my pregnancy before I was showing. He wrapped me up in a hug so tight that for a second it felt like my broken pieces were put together again. Then he let go, and my new reality crashed to the gasoline stained concrete in front of me.

"I support any decision you make when it comes to Parker, but they deserve to know Lily. And Lily deserves to know her family. I haven't pushed you on this even once. It's time."

I understood what she was saying. I knew what I put her through, making her estranged from Maria. I'd seen the emotional toll it had taken.

"Fine, but let me talk to them. I don't want them to hate you too."

She kissed my cheek and sent me off to my room with a light shove. "You know them better than that, angel. Go get changed."

I rushed down the stairs but my steps faltered on the last one. I braced my forehead on the wall. The textured surface was cool against my skin as I tried to empty my mind and not think about how fast my heart pounded in my chest.

Water.

I visualized a rapid torrent, alive and rushing. Hitting the bank and recoiling into itself. I transitioned the image into one of the creek behind my parents' old house. The smooth, icy roll of it over my ankles as I relaxed on the edge and let the current take my panic with it.

When I knew it was gone I peeked into the room next to mine to find Lily asleep in her crib, blissfully unaware of how life changing this day was going to be for both of us. I watched her chest rise and fall, mimicking it until our breaths were in sync.

I backed away slowly, so I wouldn't wake her, and I let go of the door handle once I heard it click softly and release. It had been months since my last panic attack, but I should have seen that one coming. They usually happened when I'd been repressing my emotions. I'd been repressing the shit out of any thoughts relating to Parker since he walked into the gym this morning.

I stripped out of my gym clothes and got in the shower. I tried not to think about how out of control he made me feel. The water scalded my skin until it turned pink from the heat, but I refused to cry. That was the old Delilah. This new and improved version did not show weakness. Alone or otherwise.

Thomas sat on my bed making faces at Lily while I was on my third outfit change in the last five minutes.

"You know, you do have a great ass, Del. You work hard, and you should be proud of it. I just wish I was seeing a little less of it right now." I looked over my shoulder to find him using Lily as a shield to cover his eyes.

"Oh, whoops." I turned around so my friend wasn't getting as much of an eyeful.

Thomas and I had been inseparable since my first day back at work after my weekend in Buffalo. I was trying so hard to keep it together, but he wore me down and eventually got me to spill everything that happened between Parker and I. He didn't judge me when the news came out about Parker and… I wasn't to terms with saying her name yet, or any of the other girls he'd been photographed with. Weeks later Thomas showed up at my house when I didn't meet him at the coffee shop or answer his calls. He was there to lift me up when I really needed someone.

I turned to him then. "Hypothetically, what would you wear to see the baby daddy who was your best friend, then you had sex and realized he's everything you've ever wanted, but he didn't want the daughter you had? And he still has a girlfriend," I word vomited, and Thomas stared at me, reeling. "Oh, and his whole family will be there."

"Well shit, I don't really know what to say to that."

I threw the discarded clothes into the bottom of my closet. That would be a problem for future Del. "I ripped him a new one at the gym, and blurted it out before slamming the door in his face. I was so pissed that he just showed up, and he had all these women begging for his attention."

"I mean, you have seen the guy right? Can you blame them?" Thomas gave me a look that I knew meant he was thinking about how Parker looked with his shirt off. Well, the joke was on him. I'd seen it up close and in person.

"No, I don't blame them, but that doesn't stop my inner idiot from screaming ‘mine, mine, mine!' when I know he's not." I flopped onto the bed beside him. "He said he wanted me back."

"If he wanted to be involved with Lily, would that change how you feel?"

"Thomas, he doesn't want kids. He told the whole country that." I let out a dramatic sigh. "I thought my life was finally falling into place and then it blew up. I come with so much baggage that we can't just go back to how things were. I'm a different person now, I'm not any fun."

"Whatever, you have the cutest baggage I've ever seen." He squished one of Lily's cheeks, and she beamed up at him. "And you're plenty of fun."

"She is pretty cute, huh? Makes these stretch marks not seem so bad." I tried not to be hard on my body, but it was obviously very different since having Lily.

"Don't even start." He set Lily down on her play mat and walked over to stare into my closet. "Okay so you need to feel confident. What makes you feel good when you wear it?"

"I can't wear gym clothes to the pumpkin patch."

He let out a breath. "I know nothing about women's fashion. What about leggings and some kind of sweater? Something low cut. Is he a tits or an ass guy? Your boobs are like basketballs now. We need to use that to our advantage."

I cringed. "What does it matter? I'll have Lily in the carrier."

"You need to appeal to his weaknesses. It'll make you feel better if he's off his game."

"I was wearing a sports bra and leggings this morning and he still had the upper hand."

"Because he caught you off guard."

"I don't know if I would have been better prepared if I knew he was coming. That man is ridiculous. If I was ever questioning my sexuality, today set me straight, literally. I've never been more attracted to a human." I didn't understand why girls got in trouble in school for showing their shoulders when Parker"s upper half was downright slutty. His body was the most distracting thing I'd ever seen. I didn't know how I was going to survive being around him now that I knew what he looked like under all his clothes.

"You're right." I nodded to myself in the mirror. "Next outfit."

"Benson Lee!" my sister Charlotte yelled. "Get back here!"

Every year on the first Friday of October, my whole family came to the pumpkin patch just outside of town to find pumpkins to carve. Our motley crew walked through the rows of orange fruit trying to find the perfect pick. Benson, my five-year-old nephew, was running out in front of us and going to trip over a vine any second.

Lottie's husband was supposed to be here, but didn't show up like usual. The only one with a free hand was Thomas. I had sweet Lily strapped to my chest in a carrier, Benson ran free ahead of us, and my other nephew, Oliver, was sleeping in the stroller Lottie pushed. Little Ollie was three and the sweetest boy. I really hoped he stayed tender hearted.

Benson didn't listen to his mom and broke off in a sprint, screeching about finding his pumpkin. Lottie was on the verge of having a conniption, so Mom went after Benson to give her a break. Lottie rested her head on my shoulder while we waited for them to return. Her long blonde hair was pulled into a braid that ran down the length of her spine.

"Don't have kids," she exhaled a long sigh.

My stepdad, Ned, chuckled and turned to give her a look.

"Yeah, too late for that one sis." I glanced down to see Lily looking up at me with curious eyes. I kissed her baby smooth forehead. Her dark brown curls were a bit matted because she just woke up from a sweaty nap. It was warm for October in Iowa, and we were all sweating in our fall clothes.

"God, she's adorable." Lottie said, catching my line of sight.

"I know right," I giggled back. "I'm thoroughly impressed that I made a baby so cute. Is that something I can put on my résumé?"

She leaned away and rested her hand on Ollie's head. "I'm not sure that's all you, unfortunately," she laughed. "She looks more like Parker every day."

I swallowed a lump in my throat and looked away. "I know."

Mom and Benson came tromping through the field, my nephew holding up his small green pumpkin like a trophy. "Look Aunt Del!" his little voice roared as he shoved the pumpkin into my legs.

"Wow buddy that's a great one!" I leaned down and ruffled his hair. "Can we go home now?" I whispered to Mom and Lottie.

Lily was on a pretty strict feeding/nap schedule, and I didn't want to have to feed her in the car on the way home. We'd also been here an hour, and the James family had yet to show. Maybe I'd get lucky and wouldn't have to face Parker today after all. Lily started to fuss, so I slowly rocked her side to side and rubbed her back through the fabric carrier.

"Yep, we're ready." Lottie held on tight to Benson's little hand, so he couldn't run away again. "Let's check out and go carve some pumpkins!"

Benson was all about that. He fist pumped the air and tried to go faster. I really felt for my sister. I knew she loved her kids, but it was clear that she'd been burnt out for a while. I made a mental note to babysit more when I could. Lottie stayed home with the kids while her stuffy husband worked his corporate job and took business trips every other week. As far as I knew he wasn't a bad guy, but what dad wanted to be away from his kids so often?

Ned lugged the wagon full of pumpkins beside Mom and the stroller. She turned his way and they shared a loving look when he reached to brush his hand over her back. Mom's eyes crinkled, and her smile was genuine. I was glad she was happy, but the small gesture sent a pit to my gut.

We were waiting for Lottie to pay, and Benson was jumping from haystack to haystack by the parking lot when I heard a familiar laugh float through the autumn air. I whipped my head around so quickly it hurt my neck. My heart seized when I saw Parker's family.

I'd been dreading this day for so long, but I felt wholly unprepared.

He'd always been handsome, athletic, and lean. He looked like the perfect tall, dark, and handsome jock you saw in movies with bulging biceps, veiny forearms, and lickable abs. I'm sure they still were, but everything about the Parker standing in front of me was… darker. He'd grown out of his boyish features. They were replaced with a chiseled jaw covered in dark scruff and his long curls were squished to his forehead under a backwards baseball cap.

The Parker I knew like the back of my hand was nowhere to be seen, but the new, even sexier version was headed straight for me.