60. The Other Shoe

SIXTY

The holidays passed and Del became more and more closed off. I wanted to know what was going on in her head but I did know that if I pushed her, there was a possibility she'd run. I'd learned that lesson the hard way too many times.

On Christmas Day, we woke up late and opened presents. We didn't expect Lily to be able to open anything on her own, but I thought she'd be slightly interested in some of her toys. She wasn't. Delilah and I spent more time playing with her gifts than she did. Lily was perfectly content playing with the box Peter gave her.

Brett made the largest assortment of pancakes, waffles, bacon and eggs I'd ever seen, which sent us into a food coma on the couches. My friends flew home the next day, and it was back to the three of us in this big house together. Oh, and my sister, who seemed to be over at our house much more than necessary. I usually wouldn't complain, but she and Del had something going on with the way they shut themselves in the library for hours on end each day.

Del was writing day and night, super focused and super distant. We traded off taking care of Lily, and I spent some time with Evan while I was home. Mostly to feel like I had something to do besides get in shape for spring training and wait for Del to have time for me.

A few days later, I finally got the call I'd been dreading. I'd been waiting for it since we arrived back home before Christmas. I couldn't believe they waited so long to reach out in the first place.

When the GM's name popped up on my phone screen, Del and I were laying on the floor playing with Lily. She was obsessed with grabbing her toes and knocking herself over. She'd have a fit of giggles and then do it all over again.

Del's eyes flicked to mine like she knew what was coming.

"Need to get that?" she asked. I could sense the distance in her voice, and I already felt her pulling away.

I cupped her chin and pulled her into a quick, passionate kiss. I hoped it could convey everything I couldn"t promise yet. That we'd be fine, that we could both have the careers we'd worked hard and sacrificed for.

"Yeah, I'll be back." I walked downstairs to the gym and sat down on one of the benches.

"This is Parker," I answered.

"Parker, how are you?"

"Probably depends on what you have to say Mr. Matthews," I said, trying to remove the annoyance from my tone, but failing.

"I figured that was probably the case."

"Well, lay it on me. Do I have a spot to come back to this spring or not?"

"The owner is traditional. You know how the old fart is."

"I'm not telling her she can't write the book. You know how ridiculous this is, right? It's fiction."

"Yeah, I've been getting an earful from my wife every night. I'm well versed in the politics of it. I'm not trying to suppress female voices or something women enjoy. This is coming from higher up than me."

"Who do I need to talk to?"

"The old man, but he's not going to take your phone call. I'm having a hell of a time myself."

"Well, if he won't take my call, what am I supposed to do?"

"You fancy a plane ride? I can have one there for you in the morning. No dealing with the media bullshit. Straight here and back."

"And he'll meet with me?"

"Yes. I'll schedule it myself."

I agreed and we hung up.

I was contemplating how to tell Del I was flying out in the morning when she walked down the stairs in the most ridiculous shorts I'd ever seen in my life. Or maybe her body was just ridiculous, but they were the tiniest, flimsiest material that hugged over her curves and ended right in the crease where her thighs met her ass. She already had her big headphones on. She smiled up at me with a wave and paused on the last step.

Del pushed her headphones off her ears and around her neck. "Hi."

"Hey, pretty girl. Lily down for her nap?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry I missed it." I liked being there when she went to sleep and right away when she woke up.

"Did your call go okay?" Del asked, setting up a rack for squats. She had been using our home gym more than I had lately. It was impressive that she was such a beast. I also enjoyed the colorful gym outfits she paraded around in.

Since Christmas had passed we'd been spending more time together in the gym than awake in our bed. She was busy writing, and I was caught up overthinking our future and creating backup plans. Either way, we weren't maintaining the physical bond we awoke in our time away from here. I was sure it had a lot to do with how up in the air our lives were. We weren't communicating because… we were shit at it. When things between us weren't physical, we didn't know where we stood. At least I didn't.

"I have to fly there in the morning."

Shock marred her face. "That soon?"

I sighed. "Yeah, the sooner I have their approval, the sooner we can make our plans for the season." My days in Roe were numbered. We both knew it was coming, but this would put an exact due date on figuring our shit out.

Her eyebrow quirked. "Our plans for the season?" She said it like she didn't know how I felt about her. Like she couldn't see the proof of my commitment around her.

"Yes, Delilah. Our plans."

"Like when you'll be coming home to see us?"

"Don't even start this." I stalked toward her. I could see the walls in her mind slamming down like a fortress. Steel reinforcing itself over and over until I was locked out. "Hey, we talked about this. Don't shut me out because you're scared."

She shrugged off my touch, recoiling like that first day I came back to Roe. Her face was set in stone. "I'm not scared of anything, Parker."

I pushed off the wall, shaking my head. "Right, I forgot. Silly me for thinking we were different now."

She ignored my comment and started setting up her headphones with her music, not looking at me. "How long will you be gone?"

I crossed my arms. "How long do you want me to be gone?"

Her blue stare flashed warily to mine. "I didn't say that."

"Your eyes did." I was always watching them and the contempt I saw there at that moment sent fire through my veins. I wasn't doing this again. We weren't reverting back to this. "I don't know how long. Hopefully not more than a couple days."

"Okay, take your time." Delilah cut the conversation off by putting her headphones on and starting to stretch.

"Good talk," I said to myself.

I needed a plan to fix this fast.