Chapter Fifteen

The next morning, I left the suite early, as usual, and stepped on a letter. I picked it up with a smile, my heart starting to race as I opened it. He must have come during the night to leave it for me.

This man is becoming an obsession and you don't even know his name, Death said.

I ignored Death as I read. This one wasn't naughty, it was sad. My shoulders slumped and my heart started racing in another way. My secret admirer was disheartened because I hadn't found him yet. He said that I should have been able to figure out who he was with the clues he'd given me. He could only conclude that I was either not interested once I'd found him or didn't care enough to look for him. I slowly sunk to the floor and leaned against the wall as I finished the letter—his last letter.

"Fuck," I whispered.

What's wrong? Death asked.

"He thinks I'm not interested," I muttered. "This is a goodbye."

Ah. I'm sorry, Ember. But a man who will not reveal himself boldly is the wrong choice for you.

I got up and went back into the suite.

Ember?

I went into the dressing room, then pushed aside my tunics to reveal the trunk where I kept some of my things from home. My old home. Beneath the pictures and other mementos, was a stack of letters bound in twine. I drew them out, then closed the trunk. Sitting in the center of the room, I opened the letters and started to read.

What are you doing? Death asked.

"I'm going to find him," I said. "He said he gave me clues. I know I found a few, but maybe there are more that I missed."

Ember, if you—

"No, I'm doing this. I don't care if you think he isn't good for me."

I was only going to say that I could help you discover who your admirer is.

I lowered the letter and looked up, as if I could see Death. "Do you know? Have you seen him?"

No. He is cunning, whoever he is. He comes when I'm not around. But Death Magic can help you.

"It can?"

Certainly. You'd have to let it in fully so it could lead you, but yes, of course.

"What does that mean?"

You would set your intent to find the man who wrote these, then drop your defenses as you asked the Death Magic to lead you. It would take over your body and guide—

"Take over my body?!"

Only for a short time. Just long enough to lead you to your new lover. Then you could reassert your will and tell the magic to leave. Easy. You have reached a level that I have full confidence in you to execute this. And if I'm wrong, I'll be here to bring the magic back under control. You know that I can. I've helped you with it before.

I stared down at the letters. My heart raced in a new way. This was what I'd been waiting for. I knew Death was leading me deeper and deeper into the magic. I suspected he was behind some of my recent mood swings, but I couldn't prove it. I couldn't be sure. This was the perfect test. Time to see if he was actually on my side. But it could go badly. Was I strong enough to eject Death from my mind if I had to? He had been inside me before, but never without the mind defenses of Spirit that Rath had taught me to erect. And Death wanted me to drop those wards. Was I willing to risk everything to prove once and for all that I could trust Death?

I had gone this far. Backing down now seemed cowardly. I mean, what did I think proof would look like? It had to be done. But I also had to take some precautions.

I gathered up the letters and put them back in my trunk. As I did, I pulled out a scrap of parchment and a pencil. While still hunched over, I scribbled a quick note, then bunched it up in my fist so that Death wouldn't notice.

"All right," I said as I straightened.

Set your intention, Death said.

I focused on the letters and the man who wrote them, setting my will to find him. "All right."

Now, drop your inner guards, Ember. I will guide the magic into you.

I went to stand in the dressing room doorway and stared at my sleeping lovers. My stomach clenched. Something told me that this moment would change everything. I took a breath and prayed to the Goddess that the change would be for the better. I asked her to be with me. To protect and guide me. Only when I felt a shimmer of warmth did my confidence return. She was with me. I was doing the right thing.

I lowered my Spirit wards.

Cold rushed through my body. Numbing cold. I immediately knew Death was a liar. I knew everything he had shown me was a trick to draw me in closer. Every training session, every conversation, had opened me a little more to him. And, just as I'd suspected, he had crept in. All this time, Death had been testing my mental defenses, leaving his shadows in my mind. He'd been creeping up on those invisible walls and chipping away. Luring me. Testing me as I tested him. And he was ancient. He played this game far better than I. He had never been my friend. He was and always would be Death. This entity didn't want friends or students. He wanted slaves. He wanted someone he could live through. Yes, Death wanted life.

I opened my mouth to scream, but nothing came out. The magic took full control of me, every part of me. A flash of memory came—Aranren caged by a skeleton of Death Magic. A similar cage was forming over my soul. It settled into place slowly, each bone clicking with another. Locking me up tight. And all I could do was stand there and stare at my lovers, knowing that I was losing them, feeling our bonds thin until they were mere wisps.

I had made a terrible mistake.

Did you think I didn't know? Death taunted me. I am a god, Ember. I see all. I've known from the beginning that you would never trust me. I had to find another way into your mind. So I let you believe you were testing me, tricking me into revealing my true nature. He laughed. Now, you are my true nature. And together, we will remake the world.

Oh, fuck.

Come along, little spark, Death used the Goddess' name for me, turning it into an insult. I was tiny, insignificant compared to him, only a tool to be used.

My body moved without my will, taking me out of the bedroom, then the suite, and down the hall. Instead of going to the stairs, we went to one of the guest rooms. My fist rose and rapped on the door. Caleb's door.

Mind spinning, I tried to fight Death's hold. Why were we going to Caleb? Was Death going to take him with us? Was Caleb the author of those letters after all, and Death wanted to taunt me by giving me what I wanted?

Caleb answered the door with his usual wary expression. Then he looked me over. Something shifted in his demeanor. He straightened, suddenly looking larger, and stepped out into the corridor.

"So, you have him at last," Caleb said, but his voice sounded strange. "It's taken you long enough."

The tone was familiar. Who spoke like that? Then it clicked, just like Death's bones.

No! I shrieked in my mind.

Death chortled. Oh, yes. He's been here the whole time. Well, not the whole time. He's gone back and forth a bit, using your friend as a doorway. This is what you are capable of, Ember. This is only the start. With you and Aranren together, the war is all but over. You will fulfill the prophecy, just not in the way the Goddess thought.

"Give it to me," Aranren said through Caleb. He held out his hand.

My hand lifted and opened. The scrap of paper fell into Caleb's palm.

Aranren opened the paper and read aloud, "Death has me." He rolled Caleb's eyes. "So dramatic, Ember." He tossed the paper on the ground. "All right, let us depart. I'm tired of this place. It smells like children." He took my hand and pulled me into his arms.

I shuddered as the magic seeped deeper into my mind, clouding my thoughts, fading the fight. I laid my head on Caleb's chest, and the Corrupter kissed my cheek as darkness gathered around us. He faded us away, though it wasn't exactly fading. It was Death's version of it, and the most horrifying part was how I welcomed it.