Chapter Twelve

The letters kept coming, and each one drew me deeper and deeper under my admirer's spell. I had employed Death in my quest to discover the writer, but he had yet to be successful—a fact that had me suspicious. How could he not know who was leaving letters at my door? The first one, fine. But now that I had asked him to be alert, he should have seen something. Yet my admirer eluded him.

And me.

It could be because he left them so early, often while I was on the roof, training with Death.

Another one , Death said as I reached my suite.

Sure enough, another letter waited, propped against my door with my name written across the outside fold. I snatched it up and sat down to lean against the wall.

I suppose you want to be alone.

"Please. And thank you," I said as I opened it.

Fine , Death muttered and left.

As soon as he was gone, I started reading:

Ember,

I find myself longing for the heat of home. Winter is both hard and enchanting for me. It's so beautiful, but also strange. So fucking cold.

I paused to chuckle. So, he was from a warm region. That didn't mean he wasn't a Ladrin. There were parts of Raxis that never saw snow. The more northern bits. I had to research what tribes lived there.

I went back to the letter.

It would be more enjoyable if I had you. I dream about holding you close, within my cloak. Kissing you in the falling snow. Watching the flakes melt on your cheeks. Late at night, when I dare to dream harder, I see us naked on a bed of furs amid all that white. You writhing beneath me. Your mask gone. Only bliss in your eyes. Only love.

"Holy fuck," I whispered as my cock twitched.

And he didn't stop there.

I long to lick your sweet skin and hear your soft moans. I'd suck at your neck, your budding nipples, and maybe even lower if you let me. I want to tease you. Grind my body against yours. Your lips should be on mine. They belong here. Opening to me. I dream about joining with you, making us into one glorious creation. Something magical and divine. I ache through these dreams until I am forced to relieve the pain. Help me, Ember.

Please, see me.

"Oh, dear Goddess." I clutched the letter to my chest. "I think I'm going to have to relieve some pain myself."

I got up and scurried into my suite, creeping past my sleeping men and into the dressing room. After tucking the letter away with its friends, I went into the bathroom and shut the door. I could have woken Rath and Xae to relieve the erection the letter had given me, but that felt wrong. Like a betrayal to all three men. So, instead, I got in the shower. Under the hot spray, I imagined my admirer holding me. Kissing me. He was faceless, but I could see his body above mine. See him enter me. Take me just as he'd been dreaming about.

"Oh, fuck," I moaned as I soaped up my cock.

I started stroking it as I thought about this man wanting me so badly that he lay awake at night, dreaming about making love to me as he touched himself. I saw him in bed, his big body splayed naked across the sheets. One hand pinching a dusky nipple and the other stroking a thick, long cock.

I moaned and stroked faster.

In the way of fantasies, I leaped from one into another. I imagined walking into his bedroom while he was working his shaft, imagined him looking at me with shock and delight. I saw him get up and stalk to me. Lift me off my feet. He would bend me over the end of his bed and slide into me. I could hear his gasp. His deep grunting. His delight. I could feel his hands on my hips. Feel one slide down to stroke me as he pumped into me.

My hand became his. I closed my eyes and lifted my face to the spray. The heat was his too. He spread it over my body by laying atop me. Pushing me down. He'd say sweet things to me. Whisper them in my ear. He'd tell me how much he'd been wanting this. How he had wanted me from the very beginning. And then he'd say he loved me.

"Fuck!" I moaned and came onto the slick tiles.

Slapping a hand against the wall to steady myself, I shuddered as a wild orgasm rocked through me. It was nearly as good as the ones I got from my lovers. And I didn't even know who this man was.

"Fuck," I said again, this time in wonder. "When I finally figure this out, I am going to fuck him like a wild beast."

"Ember?" Rath called.

My body jerked in guilt and embarrassment. "Uh, yeah?"

"Why are you showering so early?" He came into the bathroom.

I hurriedly swiped away the evidence of what I'd been doing and rinsed off my hands. "I felt kind of achy and needed the heat."

"Have you been sleeping all right?" Rath opened the shower door. Not to gawk at my nudity but to inspect me for signs of stress.

"Yeah, I'm all right. Did you want to join me?" I grinned.

That had him looking with a more lusty eye. Rath grinned back and let his stare wander down my body. The shorts he wore to bed were soon strained by his erection. But it was all right. He took care of that by stepping out of them.

All fantasies about some unknown man vanished. Rath was real and hard and fucking beautiful. He was also stepping into the shower with me, his elegant hands—hands that could work magic and swing a sword—sliding down my chest and over my nipples. I moaned and pressed into his touch. He pressed back, guiding me against the wall. Steam wafted around us as water fell on my left. I grabbed the soap and slicked up my hand before setting it back. Then I soaped up Rath's cock.

"I'm going to need your help to clean a hard-to-reach spot," I drawled.

Rath inhaled sharply, his eyes closing as he enjoyed my firm strokes. But then his lashes fluttered up, revealing a lavender stare gone molten, and he bent his head to kiss me. Yes, this was so much better than a fantasy and my hand. Oh, fuck. His lips were masterful, sliding over mine before nudging me open. Then his tongue, tasting me. Sampling before diving in.

Meanwhile, Rath hefted my thigh onto his forearm and used it to prop me up against the cool wall. Once I was on my tiptoes on one foot, he hooked his free forearm below my other thigh and shoved. I slid up the wall, and he was instantly there to position himself beneath me. I knew this maneuver well and automatically angled my hips forward as I reached between us to help him slide home.

And it was home. For both of us. Not just the sex, but the unity. Being one. As my admirer had written. Yes, this was something to long for. More than passion. Connection. True connection. When I opened my eyes, I found Rath staring back at me. Adoring me. And I adored him. From the wet line of his blacker-than-black hair to the tips of his toes. I loved the sharp lines of his face and the elegant lines of his body. I loved everything about him. Because I loved him.

"Rath, I love you so much," I said.

"And I love you, Ember." Rath pumped gently in and out of me, drawing out our pleasure. Taking his time to enjoy this rare opportunity for us to be alone. Just him and me. Our love. No one else to focus on. "You fill my heart."

"You fill . . . my heart too." I grinned.

Rath chuckled and nibbled at my neck. "I have you all to myself. How decadent."

"Yes, so how else do you want me?" I waggled my brows at him.

"Just as you are, Ember." He leaned in and kissed me again, going as slow with it as he did with his thrusting.

I groaned and clutched Rath closer, grinding on his shaft, glorying in the feel of him filling me. All those delicious places rubbed. That feeling of being complete. And my heart. I wasn't teasing about my heart. It was full. Maybe not just of him, but he was there, a large part of it. And the heart wasn't something that had to be parceled out. Rath could fill it completely while sharing it with others. Because we were magic.

"We should do this more often," I said as he eased out of our kiss.

"I'll meet you here tomorrow morning." Rath brushed his lips over mine. "And the next. And the next."

"I'll be the one with the soapy asshole."

He smiled and nuzzled me. "Only you could make me laugh as we made love. I love you, Ember. I love you more than anything."

And that full heart of mine burst with joy.