Nate

Jesse is still in my bed when I wake up in the morning. It feels so right to wake up next to him and snuggle in before he has to get up for class. This is what I want the rest of my year to be like. I want to enjoy having a boyfriend for the first time ever and stop pretending that it wasn’t something I really wanted.

Jesse groans as I snuggle in closer until our bodies are flush against each other and I’m kissing his neck.

“Baby, I don’t have much time.”

“Not even a quick hand job?”

A smile splits his face and I quickly slip my hand between his legs and enjoy the way he comes apart for me while I watch.

This is my boyfriend. My sexy, sweet, kind boyfriend.

Jesse has his own toothbrush in the bathroom now since I left the spare one he uses in my toothbrush holder. I love seeing them both sitting there together when I brush my teeth in the morning.

I watch him in his underwear as he stands at the bathroom mirror and revel in the knowledge that he’s all mine. I don’t care about the muscles, though they’re definitely nice to look at, and touch. I’ll love him whatever his body looks like. I can’t believe I was ever shallow enough to think someone’s clothes of all things made them my type or not.

“Okay baby?”

Okay, maybe I do like being called baby?

I get out of bed to kiss him, “I like you.”

“Like? I’ve been demoted now?”

“Love, I love you.”

“That’s better.”

He grins and kisses me.

“Want me to walk to the bus stop with you?”

“Nah, you stay here, it’s cold out there, and I bet you want to study before class.”

He knows me so well.

I walk him to the door and give him a deep, lingering kiss, and when I turn around, my mom’s standing in the kitchen doorway, grinning ear to ear.

“Jesus Mom!”

She ignores me, “hi Jesse.”

“Hi Mrs Jones.”

He rubs his neck.

“I told you, call me Anna, want some pancakes?”

“No, thank you, I have to go to class.”

“Okay, well I’ll see you later?”

I push Jesse out of the house as fast as I can.

When I come into the kitchen, Mom’s humming to herself while she flips pancakes.

“Do you have to do that?”

“What?”

She looks happy and I decide to let her have her moment.”

“Nothing.”

“Oh honey, your dad and I are going on a little vacation this weekend, so you’ll have the place to yourself.”

“Oh?”

don’t smile, don’t smile, don’t…

“Don’t worry, I didn’t hear anything last night.”

Oh god, kill me! Why would she say she didn’t hear anything unless she heard something? So maybe we got a little carried away when we thought everyone was asleep. We don’t usually get an entire night together and now I’ve experienced what it feels like to do that, it’s really hard to stop. It’s also practically impossible to be quiet when Jesse’s so incredibly good at it.

I help Mom clean the breakfast things away and go up to my room to get some studying done. I’m pacing myself, but I still have to study. I want to go into my senior year as prepared as possible so I’m not overwhelmed.

The less I think about senior year the better. Who knows what Jesse will be doing, or where he will be doing it. At least it won’t be in North Carolina.

I have my headphones on and don’t even hear Harrison barge into my room until he snaps them on my head.

“Ow!”

I spin in my chair, “you’re so immature.”

He seems to find it funny.

“What do you want?”

“I need to borrow a razor, you do need to shave, don’t you?”

He barges into my bathroom before I can even stand up.

“Borrow one off Dad.”

“Whose is all this stuff?”

Shit!

He picks Jesse’s dirty t-shirt up and studies it.

“Is this Engels’?”

A nervous laugh escapes me and my voice sounds crazy when I speak.

“What! Why would it be Jesse’s?”

“Because he has this stupid t-shirt and he’s been hanging around here a lot - ‘studying.’”

I try to formulate a lie, but as soon as he looks at me, my face gives me away.

His eyebrows shoot up, but I’m still not sure he really believes it himself.

“Why are Jesse’s clothes on your bathroom floor? And why are there two toothbrushes in that glass?”

I would really like to consult with Jesse before telling Harrison about us, but if I lie to him now, it’ll only be worse later.

“He stayed over.”

Harrison’s dumb expression would be funny in any other situation.

His eyes shoot to the bed. I’ve made it, but by the way he looks at it, you’d think it was the scene of a crime.

“Him, you, him and…”

he shakes his head and tosses Jesse’s t-shirt back on the floor. “Let me get this straight, Jesse spent the night in your room, because, what?”

I open my mouth.

“No, don’t fucking say it.”

He runs his hands through his hair as he paces the room. “I can’t believe this, I can’t fucking believe it, he’s dead.”

“Harrison…”

He wriggles effortlessly free when I try to pull him back, and by the time I’ve chased him down the stairs, he’s out of the house and getting in his car.

Mom comes out from the den to see what’s going on.

“I need to borrow your car.”

“Oh hell, what happened? Did you tell him about Jesse?”

“I didn’t really have a choice.”

“Come on, I’m driving.”

“No, Mom, just let me…”

“No arguments mister, get in the car right now.”