3. Abigail

3

ABIGAIL

Maybe I'm counting wrong.

I count up the chairs around the elongated dining room table again.

Before Dad and Sonia got together, we never used the table as family dinners would only be my older brother, Jack, Dad, and me. When Dad met Sonia, it was like a chain reaction, because within the past two years and change, everyone in my life has coupled up.

Except me, of course. I've been busy with school and wasn't concerned with dating. Could distract from my work.

Now, though, I kind of wish I weren't so focused on school, considering it apparently isn't paying off since I'm still on the job search.

If I had been open to dating, maybe I would have met the one already and I wouldn't still be living at my dad's penthouse.

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful. Of course, I am. I know I'll never go without, even if I never work a day in my life.

But that's not the kind of person I want to be.

I'm not counting wrong. There's two too many.

I pick one up to move it.

Sonia walks in with the twins balanced on either hip. She carries them without batting an eye, all nine months of their chubbiness. "What are you doing with the chairs?"

"Jack and Camilla aren't coming because of Alanna." Their baby girl is only a few weeks old. "So, these two can be set aside."

I pull the chair toward the outskirts of the rooms.

"No, they can't, because Theo and Bonnie are coming instead," Sonia says. "Didn't your dad tell you?"

My blood runs cold, and I grip the chair a little harder. "Theo and Bonnie?"

"Yes! Theo just moved to New York a couple weeks ago and, you know, they don't really have any family here, so I told Edwin to invite them for our dinners."

I turn around and quirk an eyebrow at my friend.

Sonia might be married to my dad and the mother of my youngest half-siblings, but we're close in age and became fast friends. Which means I'm not afraid to push her a little bit.

"You told him to invite Theo ?"

Sonia hikes Liam up on one hip while Emma sucks on Sonia's collarbone. "Yes. Why wouldn't I?"

I pull the empty chair back to the table a little more forcefully than I need to. "Because he's not a good guy, Sonia."

"Oh, my god, don't start with this again."

"Again? When have I ever –"

"You were upset Theo was even in the wedding party, if you've forgotten. You made it everyone else's problem."

I shake my head. "That doesn't sound like me."

Sonia smirks. "Sure, it doesn't."

I go to Sonia and take Liam from her to alleviate the ache she must be experiencing in her arms.

My little brother nuzzles his cheek against mine.

It might be tiresome being a built-in babysitter, but it also means the twins have imprinted on me in a deep way, and I will always cherish it.

"Sonia, Theo isn't a good influence on Dad."

"Your dad is over fifty, and Theo's in his mid-forties. What kind of antics can they really get up to?"

I roll my eyes. "First of all, don't be ageist."

"Oh, my god, Abigail–"

"Second of all, when my parents split up, my dad disappeared for like four months and when he came back, it turned how he'd been fucking around–"

"Language!" Sonia scolds.

"Sorry, sorry." I look into Liam's dark eyes and tickle his chubby belly. "Fudging around Europe, partying and drinking and living the good life he couldn't live when he had responsibilities like being a dad and a partner."

Liam laughs, music to my ears.

However, Sonia is less amused. "That was your father's choice. Not Theo's."

"It takes two to tango."

"I don't think that phrase is applicable in that situation."

I toss a hand in Sonia's direction. "Whatever. My point is, Theo brings out the party boy in Dad. And I know you don't know that version–"

"I've gotten bits and pieces."

"Bits and pieces don't amount to the person my dad was when he didn't want to be a dad anymore."

I love my dad. But he was a young guy with three baby mamas by his mid-twenties. He tried to stick it out with my mom, he really did. Except without a marriage certificate, it was easier for him to cut bait when it wasn't working anymore.

Sonia smiles softly. "Abigail, that was, what, twenty years ago?"

"So?"

"So, people change. Your father changed, didn't he? Who is to say Theo didn't either?"

I frown. "His company collapsed because there was so much shady business going on behind the scenes they couldn't afford to stay open legally . And his wife left him!"

"That's not his fault necessarily," Sonia says. "Besides, he's a dad now, you know? That changes a person. Being a parent."

I scoff. "That didn't stop my dad from–"

"God, Abigail. I know, I know. I'm not trying to undercut what happened with you and your dad. I just think that we can't be so hard on people. I mean, if we held everyone's past against each other, your father and I probably wouldn't be together."

I nod. "True, I mean how many dads get away with dating their son's ex-girlfriends?"

Sonia's amber skin turns ruby. "Okay, you didn't need to spell it out like that."

The doorbell rings, causing Emma's head to shoot up and her body to rock. She loves the doorbell.

"Who is that? Is that a guest ?" Sonia bounces her daughter. She heads past me toward the doorway but turns just before she disappears. "Abigail, it's one night. Just try to be nice, okay?"

I stick my tongue out at her.

Sonia laughs and exits the dining room.

I look at Liam and pout my lower lip out. "You'll hold a grudge with me, won't you?"

Liam laughs again.

"Right answer." I smile.

I'm about to follow Sonia out of the dining room when Dad's voice cries out all the way from the front hall. "There he is! Ole Dory Wallbanger!"

A British accented voice I'm more familiar with than I'd like to be follows. "You know I hate when you call me that."

I look at Liam again. "Now's your chance. Save me. Start crying or something."

Liam makes a sound that is very much not crying.

I sigh. "Fine. Fine. Let's do this."

When I walk to the front hall, I linger in the doorway, a bit in the shadows so that I can be present without calling attention to myself.

My father has a grip on Theo's hand and upper arm, a very masculine sort of familiarity.

If I didn't know Theo, I'd say he was one of the most handsome men I've ever seen. The accent helps immensely. But he's also tall and well-dressed.

Today, he's wearing a pair of dark rimmed glasses. His chestnut hair is well-coiffed and, at the temples, going slightly gray. Gives him a dignified air that is admittedly very sexy.

Well, it would be if he weren't my father's friend from his playboy days.

"And this must be the one and only, Bonnie." Dad turns his attention to Bonnie who has herself pressed up against Theo's leg.

I'll admit, Bonnie and Theo together are very cute. They clearly love each other. But that's not everything. I know it.

Bonnie hides her face in Theo's pant leg.

Theo reaches down and strokes a hand through Bonnie's hair which is nicely French-braided.

Did he do that himself?

"All right, Ed. You're coming on a little strong."

No one calls my dad Ed, but I suppose no one calls Theo "Dory" other than my father.

This is what unsettles me about them. Their… connection.

"You're right, I'm sorry." Dad places a hand on his chest. "Maybe once she sees the present we got for her, she'll change her mind about me."

Bonnie's face lights up. "A present?"

Theo gives my dad a sheepish smile and looks at his daughter. "Bonnie, don't be greedy."

Sonia smiles. "Nonsense. She's not greedy, she just knows what she wants."

Theo leans in to kiss Sonia on the cheek. "You're looking well, Sonia. And this must be Emma, is it?" He cranes his head down to look Emma in the face. "Takes after her mother, thank god."

I've gotten so comfortable being hidden, I don't notice Bonnie noticing me.

The little girl erupts with excitement. "Abigail!"

All eyes turn to me as Bonnie jets toward me. "Oh, hi –oof!" I have to brace my free hand on the doorframe to make sure I don't topple over. "Careful!"

Bonnie squeezes me tight.

Kids are just like that, aren't they? They only have to meet you once to know they like you. Which is an honor in a way.

Theo frowns. "Easy, Bon, she's holding a baby."

I lift my eyes to meet Theo's.

When I see the way he smiles at me, my cheeks flare with…something. Not sure what the feeling is.

It's pathetic how he's oblivious to the way I feel about him. Isn't my coldness obvious?

"How does she know Bonnie?" My father's voice carries a hint of jealousy.

Theo looks between my dad and me with big eyes.

Fuck, I didn't tell Sonia and Dad about my run-in with Theo at the aquarium. I wanted to forget it happened at all.

Besides, they were focused on how my meeting with Moriah went and, when they found out that it was less than ideal, they were focused on cheering me up. "Well, Abigail was… She…"

"I ran into them when I was at the aquarium," I say as simply as possible in order to avoid any discussion of details.

"She found me when I was lost!" Bonnie exclaims. "And then we found Daddy, and it was funny!"

Dammit .

"Um, yeah, that happened to." I give Bonnie a soft pat on her back.

My dad's dark brows tighten. "Why didn't you say anything?"

Sonia follows up my dad's question with a narrowing of her eyes.

"I just didn't think it was the main…thing to talk about." I shrug.

"Anyway." Theo clears his throat. "I am indebted to Abigail. You should have seen me, mate. I was a wreck."

Edwin nods. "Of course, you were."

Still, Sonia looks at me, eyes widening, eyebrows raising.

She wants the story and wants it sooner than later. As if I'll give it to her.

There's nothing to talk about really. It was a coincidence, a ridiculous scenario. And that was that.

"Look, how about we go into the living room, and we can give Bonnie her gift and relax before everyone else gets here, hm?" Dad gestures down the hall toward the family room.

Bonnie jolts away from me, eager to find out what awaits her. "Oh, yes, please."

"Go slow, Bonnie, go slow." Theo follows Edwin and Bonnie down the hall.

Sonia sweeps her arm around me before I can disappear back into the dining room. " Why didn't you tell me about running into Theo and Bonnie at the aquarium?"

"I told you, I had other things on my mind," I say, begrudging, as I join Sonia in following the train.

My friend smiles, lips sneaky and devious. "Likely story."

If I force the issue any more, she'll think I'm lying, so I simply wave my hand in her direction. "Whatever."

I don't care what anyone else things. I know how I feel about Theo Wallington, and that's all that matters.

§

Bonnie works with the bright orange dipped paintbrush, stroking it down the scallop shell, her tongue tucked into the corner of her mouth.

Sonia did good with the gift. A few different art kits, including a shell-painting one.

Bonnie wanted to tear it open then and there and, despite Theo's original refusal, I offered to sit with her and paint.

He was more grateful than I really knew what to do with.

Theo is just too much for me to know what to do with, especially when I don't have a particular kind perception of him already.

But Bonnie is just a little girl, and she deserves attention and kindness.

Plus, that meant I wouldn't have to deal with all the "adult" conversations going on around me now that everyone else has arrived. Didn't have to engage in the baby talk once Bridget arrived with her stepbrother turned fiancé, Seth. Didn't have to try and disentangle the arrangement between my brother Nate and his best friend, Mason, who are both partners of the same woman, Laney.

All those conversations feel above my pay grade. They talk about their homes, upcoming weddings, vacations, plans, babies .

I still feel like the baby of the family given I'm just trying to get a fucking job.

Which is why sitting at the coffee table painting with Bonnie makes all the sense in the world to me.

"Water's getting muddy," Bonnie says, dipping her paintbrush into the water cup and cringing at the dark water.

"Mmm, we need a fresh cup, huh?"

"Yes, please."

I pick up the cup and drift out of the living room and down the hall to the kitchen where Dad is putting finishing touches on the meal while talking with Theo. Their voices filter down the hall among the kitchen sounds.

My dad's voice reaches me first. "…trying so hard, you know?"

"That must be a bit demoralizing," Theo's voice is low in his chest, warm like mulled wine.

"It is! She worked so hard finishing up her degree and has been applying nonstop to things, and it just hasn't panned out for her."

I stop at the door, out of sight. They're talking about me. I know they are.

"Job market's tough lately."

"I know it is. I know." Dad is quiet, then lets out a heavy sigh. "I've thought about offering her a job at the club, but I'm not sure she'll take it well."

"Mm, yes. Tricky."

Anger brews inside me. It's one thing for my dad to worry about me. It's another thing for him to worry about me in conversations with his wife or my brothers. It's another altogether for him to talk to Theodore Wallington about me.

I emerge from the hall. "Need new water."

Both Dad and Theo flip around, surprise evident in both their expressions.

"Painting must be going well, huh?" Dad is acting as if they weren't just talking about me.

"Mhm." I look toward the sink.

Theo's standing in front of it.

"Oh, pardon me." He throws himself to the opposite counter.

I purse my lips and smile. Kind of. "Thanks."

I pour out the cup, watch the murky water swing around the drain, then disappear.

Theo sighs. "You know, you don't have to sit with her and paint. She's all right on her own if you'd rather…I don't know, have intelligent conversation."

His eyes are almost scorching my back. "I think Bonnie is great at intelligent conversation."

"Uh, that's not what I meant. I just mean, you know, you're young, and you don't need to feel…saddled."

I glance over my shoulder at him. "Is that how you feel about her?"

Theo's eyes widen. "No, not at all. I just mean–"

Dad frowns at me. "Abigail, you're being edgy."

"Am I?"

Apparently, I'm edgy now. This has been something my dad has taken to pointing out especially in the last year of my program when I was finishing up my final research papers.

I turn to go and try to bat away at the edginess. It makes everyone tired. Including me.

"I enjoy spending time with Bonnie. That's all." I shrug.

Theo smiles, that same smile that made me lose my breath in the front hall.

Why does he have to do that?

"Your father was just telling me about your job search," he says out of the blue.

"Dory–" Dad tries to interject, his eyes flying to me. He knows I don't want to be talked about.

"Relax, Edwin. I just had a thought." Theo smiles.

"Oh?"

Theo extends one hand as if holding the idea in his palm. "You know, you're quite good with children. Perhaps you'd consider a role in childcare."

My stomach plummets. "That has nothing to do with my degree."

"Well, I know it doesn't. I just wanted to offer if you were looking for a job. I think you'd make a good nanny. You do very well with Bonnie, and–"

"I'd make a good scientist."

I try to quell the fire inside me.

Can't he imagine how much I've doubted myself over the past few months? How much I've wanted to give up and throw in the towel?

Now I'd make a good nanny.

Fucking ridiculous.

Don't get me wrong, it's an important job. But that's not the job I've worked my ass off for. Not my dream.

And just because I'm a woman who likes to be around kids doesn't mean I want to make it my life.

"I agree. Of course, you would." Theo's brow tenses at the middle. "Forgive me, your employment was just on the brain since your father and I–"

"Well, get my employment off your brain. I don't need your help."

My father takes a step forward. "Abigail, you're being rude."

I stick out a hand in Theo's direction. "How am I the one being rude being rude when your friend has–You know what? Forget it."

I storm out of the kitchen without another word, water sloshing onto my hand as I go.

Sometimes, I feel like no one understands me. Maybe no one ever has.