6. Camilla

6

CAMILLA

Jack and I have spoken less than ten sentences to one another today. After last night, I'm not even sure what I should say.

What do you say to the man that's supposed to be your boss, your business partner, but is now your fake boyfriend who told you in very explicit terms not to call him "Daddy" in a way that very much made you want to call him "Daddy" even more?

Because ever since I called him Sir, it has been on my mind. Nonstop. The need to do it again. To take it a step further. To let go with him and just be me.

But I can't. We can't.

Keep it professional. Keep everything at a distance.

Until we can't anymore.

Jack clears his throat as we ride the escalator down to baggage claim. "We should probably hold hands."

My stomach drops, and I tip my head down to look at his nice leather shoes.

He shrugs. "Maybe if we make a strong impression that we're actually in a relationship, we won't have to keep touching each other."

He says "touching each other" like it might kill him to touch me. Might kill me too, but probably not for the same reasons. "Yeah. That's fine."

Jack runs his tongue along his lower lip as he holds his hand out to me.

I hesitate for a second before touching my hand to his, holding it.

It's awkward and strained, palms not fitting quite right together.

Not only am I nervous, I can tell he is too. If he would just relax a bit, maybe I could too, but I can't because he won't, so the whole hand-holding thing feels forced.

I mean, his warmth in my hand feels too nice, so I'm not sure this isn't for the best. But it would be nice if one thing was easy about this situation.

"There they are," Jack says coolly, nodding toward a family of four standing together by baggage claim. His frown is so deep.

I squeeze his hand. "You should probably smile."

His eyes fleet to mine before he plasters on what has to be the fakest smile ever. "Better?"

I shake my head and fake a smile too, but mine is much more natural than his, I'm sure. "Much."

The woman has tawny brown skin and warm eyes. I see so much of Jack in her, but I won't tell him that because it will probably piss him off. However, the way she beams at us, I'm surprised this is the same woman who told her son she wouldn't be able to see him until he said he was bringing his girlfriend.

The man beside her is tall, gangly, and white, and the kids, a boy and girl, look just as forced as we do, seeming irritated that they have to play welcoming committee.

I glance at Jack. Poor guy. He frustrates me to no end, but I can't help but feel for him. This situation is less than ideal for everyone involved.

The second we step off the escalator, his mother rushes toward us. And she hugs me. Me . Before her own son.

"Oh, aloha, Camilla. I am so happy to meet you, sweet girl," she exclaims in my ear before kissing my cheek. When she draws away, she keeps her hands on my shoulders. "Let me look at you." She takes me in, up and down.

I give Jack a sidelong glance. He closes his eyes to roll them without being seen, the soft skin of his eyelids bristling slightly.

"You're very beautiful," his mother says.

"Thank you. You are too." Awkward. So awkward. Been a while since I've met the parents.

I thought the nerves wouldn't be nearly as bad considering this isn't an actual relationship. It doesn't actually matter if they like me. However, Jack's my boss, my partner, and I need to get this right. For the sake of the coffee.

She lifts her chin with a scoff. "Oh, please. Anyway, I'm Mari. This is my husband Geoff and–" She turns and realizes her family is not in her immediate wake. "Well, don't just stand there!" she cries out and waves them toward us.

Jack clears his throat. "Hi, Mama."

Mari's attention snaps toward Jack. " Keiki ."

Her face brightens just a watt more, but I see it. She loves him. Adores him even.

So, why is she so distant?

Instead of releasing me, she takes one arm and wraps it around Jack so that we are both engulfed in her embrace. My side smushes up against Jack's, closer than we had prepared to be with our sweaty hand-holding.

"I'm so happy you've come to visit," Mari says, rubbing our backs.

"It's a work trip," Jack grunts.

Of course, he feels a need to clarify. But is he saying that to keep Mari at a distance just as she keeps him or to remind me?

I don't care. What I need to do is focus on keeping my head down, playing the happy new girlfriend in the light of day and everywhere else, all business all the time.

Still, though, given my own search for my mother, a part of me wants to scream at them, "Don't you know how different it could be? Don't you know how lucky you are?"

Mari raises one of her shoulders. Her joy is palpable. "I know, I know, but a work trip with benefits, obviously."

And I can't decide if I want to laugh or cry. Because we will have none of the ‘benefits' part.

Mari introduces us to Jack's half siblings, Kelly and Winston, both in their gangly teen years. Jack gives them awkward hugs, followed by a handshake with Geoff.

I remain as pleasant and cordial as possible but try to keep some distance. This is just for show, so there is no need for anyone, including me, to get any ideas or get too attached.

We waft over to baggage claim and continue the conversation, waiting for the carousel to bring us our bags.

"So, work trip. For both of you?" Mari quirks an eyebrow.

"Well, uh–" Jack does a double take toward me.

I only smile back at him. I have no idea what to say here either. There is too much going on right now and I wish I was home tucked into my bed. This was his idea, so I will play along but I will remain as silent as I can about whatever we are supposed to be.

"Yes. Best of both worlds in this case." Jack slides his arm around my shoulder, tucking me against him.

In order not to look uncomfortable, I lift my hand to his chest.

His heart is thumping. Hard. Probably from the nerves.

Unthinking, I caress his chest. It doesn't even cross my mind that it will help sell the whole couple thing. But now that I think about it, that's what I'll tell myself I'm doing in order to avoid thinking about how nice it feels to be pressed up against him.

It's been years since I've been in a relationship. My body is in need of a bit of physical contact. My needs haven't been met in so long. I need human touch. That's all this is.

"And I've been needing a change of scenery, right, Cami?"

Cami? "Right," I say with a vigorous nod of my head.

"I was getting so tired of the Stock Market. It took come convincing, but she stuck around long enough to push me to follow my goal of…coffee." The last word is a strange conclusion to the sentence.

"You know, he's such a coffee fiend, it only seemed natural." I shrug.

Dammit, why am I interjecting?

Mari's smile hasn't faltered the entire time we've been talking, but Geoff quirks an eyebrow from behind his dark rimmed glasses. "And you're helping?"

"She's my business partner." Jack squeezes my shoulder. "You know, she's already my partner in life, so it made sense."

I gulp. Partner in life is a big leap away from girlfriend.

"So, you'll be getting engaged soon, then," Mari says. Statement. Not question.

I let out gasp and immediately cover my mouth with my hand.

Jack's grip on my shoulder turns into a claw. "You know, we don't feel the need to rush things."

Mari's big smile falters. "You've always taken after your father that way."

"Mari…" Geoff admonishes.

Beside me, Jack's body is as rigid as a pole.

"I'm just saying, you know, there's nothing to be scared of when it comes to getting married. It's better for both of you." Mari's eyes lock with mine, and she points a finger at me. "Better for babies."

Jack puts a hand over his face and rubs his eyes. "Oh my god, Mama, please. This is–"

"It's my choice," I blurt out. "Not Jack's. If we had it his way, we would have flown out to Vegas after three months of knowing each other."

This seems to placate Mari, though I can feel Jack's body burning beside mine.

I shrug and lower my eyes for a second. "I've just got things I have to get sorted before such a big step."

Geoff slides his hands in his pockets. "Building a business together is a pretty big step."

Mari looks at Geoff, then at me. "Well, marriage is sort of like a business."

"Oh look! Our bags!" I point at our bags round the carousel. I slide out of Jack's embrace, my body a bit colder without his touch, and run to the bags to have a moment to myself.

What the heck.

I reach for the bag but am cut off by another hand. Jack's. I look up at him as he pulls the bag off the carousel.

"I've got it."

I reach for the next one, but he interjects again.

"I can get a bag," I say, placing my hands on my hips, the urge to let the brat in me stomp my foot so strong, but I hold her back. Just barely.

"Well, you shouldn't have to," he says without lifting his eyes to mine. He extends the handles on both rolling suitcases and takes them in his hands.

"I can roll my own suitcase too," I say before he can step away.

Jack finally lifts his eyes to mine. They are a little tired. A little sad.

"You're my girlfriend, Camilla," he says. A reminder. This is our status in life. Boyfriend and girlfriend. "And I am my father's son, after all," he adds in a quiet voice before letting his eyes fall away from mine as he goes and joins his family near the exit.

The words ring in my ears.

What does that mean? That he's his father's son. I know Mari used it as a jab, but if Jack is excusing this behavior, he must be saying his father taught him how to be a gentleman too. The two can coexist I suppose. One can be a gentleman when times are good and an avoidant bastard when the going gets rough. Doubtlessly, I'm a product of a relationship like that.

I shake off the confusion. Keep my head down. Do the work. I'm a businesswoman now, after all.

I don't have time for distractions. Even if that distraction is my own business partner.

We stare at the bed in the tiny guestroom. The room is barely wide enough for the queen-sized mattress and two nightstands on either side of the bed.

The only saving grace of the room is that it has a private bathroom which will allow at least some semblance of an escape from each other.

Still, though. This is our room.

Our .

Because we're a couple. Who should be used to sleeping beside one another. Of course, we would share a room and a bed! Would be silly not to, especially in a house where the rest of the rooms are taken.

Jack looks at me dejected. "I can sleep on the floor."

"Where?" If he slept in the space between the bed and the wall, it would be like sleeping in a coffin.

Jack swallows, then runs a hand through his dark hair.

It's been a long day. The exhaustion pours off of him. It wasn't enough that we had a long flight this morning. And it wasn't enough that the time change was massive.

Dealing with Jack's mother and her family is no joke.

Mari isn't afraid to call anything like she sees it, which made me on edge all day.

At dinner, Jack and I held hands on the table, acting like that wasn't a big deal to us, just to really hammer home the idea that we're together. Lucky for us, she is so enchanted by the idea of her son having a girlfriend that I don't think she suspects a thing.

Geoff, on the other hand, is quiet until he isn't, and when he isn't quiet, he usually has a very direct question. No wonder they get along so well.

I'm not bothering myself with Kelly and Winston beyond pleasantries, however Kelly became bubblier the longer we chatted. Winston, on the other hand, clearly wants to be anywhere but where he is.

Being a teen is hard.

Being a grownup, I think, is harder.

While Jack's family is stressful, Hawaii is beautiful. The views of the ocean are spectacular, and the family home is only steps from the beach. It's hot, not the same sense of impending doom from approaching autumn we had back in New York. And the place puts me at ease.

I didn't know I needed a vacation so bad. Too bad this isn't one.

He is still looking around. As if a place for him to sleep other than the bed will suddenly appear. "I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"We can put a wall of pillows up," I say. "It'll be fine."

I go to my suitcase in the corner of the room.

Jack says nothing more on the subject and, to my mind, it is decided. We'll share a bed. It's just a week. We'll probably be so tired between all the work and dealing with the family that we'll both sleep like logs and we won't even know the other is there.

That's what I'm telling myself.

From behind me, the springs of the bed creak as Jack sits. "I'm sorry about all of this."

I stop in my tracks. His voice is…aching. I turn to look at him.

He's at the edge of the bed, head bent low, his hands folded between his knees.

"There's nothing to be sorry about."

"Yes, there is. Me and my stupid idea. We could be staying in a fucking hotel, in our own rooms, and we wouldn't have to do all of this bullshit" He runs his hands over his face and groans, frustration gurgling in his throat.

I chew on the inside of my cheek. "Jack, no. This isn't ideal, sure. But I don't want you to be mad at yourself."

He turns to look at me.

"What I mean is…" I draw up my stuff in my arms and hug it tight. I need the comfort as I go to the bathroom door. Probably for the best I keep this conversation short. "You shouldn't have had to convince your mother to see you. That's so unfair."

Jack's face softens.

"Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you aren't still her child. And–" There's a lump at the back of my throat.

My own mother, the one I've never met, but whose blood runs through my veins, has been on my mind all day.

I take a breath. "And she totally sucks for putting you in the position where you have to beg for her to see you. So, I'm sorry I forced you to call her."

He shakes his head. "No, Camilla, it's not–" He sighs. "Look. Let's both agree to not apologize anymore and we'll just do what we came here to do, okay?"

Damn him for making me want to hug him. "Okay."

I run to the bathroom and close the door behind me.

We are in bed by ten o'clock, earlier than we've gone to sleep for the past weeks since we've been up working late into the night on plans for the company. There aren't enough pillows for a whole barrier between us, so we prop one up between our hips.

And though I am exhausted, sleep does not come for a while. I think for Jack too.

The room is so quiet, I can hear every small sound, including Jack's breathing, which is shallow for far too long for him to be sleeping.

I lie on my side, eyes on the wood paneled wall, wondering if I should say something and, if I did, what I would say.

There is nothing to talk about. It's just business.

But "just business" doesn't usually involve one single bed, a business partner I don't want to admit is sexy, and my growing desire to call him Daddy just to see if he keeps his promise.

This week is going to be way more complicated than we originally anticipated.